visitors with a dog

14 years ago

We have family who brought last time they visited, a dog who reeked and needed a bath. They said we know your daughter brings her dog(a very well kept clean dog) so we thought it would be alright. They are coming again and said they are bringing the dog. We like dogs but though a very sweet dog, it just smells so bad.

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Comments (35)

ravencajun Zone 8b TX
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
you might check how much a doggie spa day would cost and have the dog bathed and cleaned up while it is there.
My concerns are fleas and ticks my little one does not have any and a neighbor brought over her 2 dogs one is large to play with mine, she did not call first and ask just showed up, they proceeded to pee all over my carpet marking it I would guess and I found 3 fleas on Mia after that. Luckily I own a good steam carpet cleaner but it does not get it all out and now Mia has gone there 2 times. Not good.
She is a great lady and I love seeing her and she has offered to keep Mia when I have had to rush to Louisiana for my Mother. I am hoping she does not decide to dog visit again.
amyfiddler
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
What are you going to do? Sounds pretty avoidable to me.
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sushipup1
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I agree with Amy. Just say no.
FlamingO in AR
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I would just tell them to be SURE to bathe the little stinker before they come, that you are sensitive to smells and while they might not notice it, you do and since you're putting them up, it's your rules.

Either that or lie and say you're suddenly allergic, don't bring the dog period, or they'll be shuffled off to the nearest dog-friendly motel.
wildchild
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
If I have family/friends I am close enough to to have as overnight guests in my home then I am close enough to talk to them about something like this.

They may not even be aware their dog smells since they live with it. Simply tell them what you told us. You like their sweet dog but it left your house smelly. Perhaps bathing the dog might be a good idea before their visit. Done. If you are tactful and they still take offense then find a hotel nearby that accepts dogs.
User
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Can you sneak it in the bathroom and give it a bath? Or..... I have a DRY Bath recipe you can use. It makes them smell good.

Dry Dog Shampoo
This is ideal for smaller, sensitive dogs or anyone that doesn't want to deal with wet, smelly dog on their rugs and furniture. This is also the perfect way to maintain the dog�s coat between regular home or professional grooming. However you look at it, dry dog shampoo is cheap, quick and awesome.
(I used this a week after my dog was neutered, he looks & smells so much better) :^)

1 cup baking soda. - The baking soda soaks up the oils, excess dander, and dirt on the dog�s skin and coat. The oils and dirt are the culprits making your favorite furry kid smelly and don�t always require the hassle of soap and water to get rid of them.

1 cup cornstarch. - This might seem redundant, but cornstarch is just another weapon to remove the stink and moisture from your dog�s coat. Cornstarch plays double-duty because it also makes your dog�s coat lustrous and shiny.

3 to 5 drops lavender essential oil. The lavender oil smells great and helps naturally protect your dogs against fleas.
(Other Essential Oils can be used instead ~ Lemongrass

Flea repellant essential oil blend
5 drops citronella
3 drops lemon
3 drops rosemary
3 drops thyme

Combine ingredients in a container with tight fitting lid. Shake vigorously to blend scent into powder. Follow above directions
You can also add ground oatmeal, rice flour, Bran or baby powder to the mix.

1. Mix ingredients together in a storage bowl. Can be put into a old baby powder bottle for shaking.

2. If weather permits, use the dry shampoo outdoors on a patio or other hard surface or the bath tub.
(Tip: place a towel in the tub to keep pet from slipping)

3. Remove any clumps of matted fur, snarls and dead hair with your dog�s regular grooming brush or an old hairbrush. Sprinkle a healthy amount of the dry shampoo over your pooch and work it through his coat with your fingers. Let the shampoo sit for around five minutes before working the brush through your dog�s fur to remove the bulk of the dry shampoo mixture. This gives it time to soak up the oils and odors from his skin and fur.

4. Between the dog�s natural shaking motion � which shouldn�t be discouraged because this is his way of keeping the product out of his ears, eyes and nose � and a final rub down with an old towel, the dry shampoo will be eliminated.

5. Once you�re done simply let the dog go, pick up the newspapers and throw them into the trash. No water. No wet dog trail throughout the house. Heavenly smelling dog without the arduous clean-up. How can you go wrong with this?

This product is ideal for dogs of any age, size or breed. It�s also perfect for a pet suffering from dry skin or one that just plain hates traditional baths. If your dog is resistant to this type of bath as well, simply give him a regular supply of treats to help the process go more smoothly.
Georgysmom
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I love, love, love my Georgy, but I cannot imagine going to visit someone and bringing my dog. I think it's a major imposition! I am a woos when it comes to handling a situation like this. I probably would just deal with the dog the first time, but I wouldn't invite them back. Dealing now with your present situation, I would probably blame everything on DH and say he's not a real dog lover and would prefer no dogs in the house. You hope it won't be too inconvenient for them to find a dog sitter but if they cannot, you have an excellent kennel nearby.
mary_c_gw
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Dog grooming? Dry Shampoo?

Why should wekick do anything about the stinky dog?

Tell them not to bring the dog (my choice), or to get it bathed first.

Actually, I'm a bit shocked anyone would ever assume their dog was welcome. I like dogs, but no way would I invite someone else's dog to come and stay here.
nod702
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
We tell them, including relatives right up front. You are welcome to visit and stay at our home, but don't bring your dog/cat. Sorry, but we don't allow animals in our home period. Anybodys.
maire_cate
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
That just boggles my mind that someone, even a family member, would be so presumptuous as to bring a pet without clearing it with you first. It's a difficult situation since they must be assuming that it's OK with you since they brought the dog before.

Are you willing to have the dog if it didn't smell or would you rather not have him at all? If it's the odor then I guess you should be honest and tell them that the last time they brought the dog that you home had an unpleasant dog smell and ask if they would have to professionally groomed before coming. But there are some dogs that just have an odd odor about them - sometimes it's their hair, or ear problems or GI issues and grooming won't help.

If you'd rather not have the dog at all them tell them that you're looking forward to seeing them but ask them to please leave the dog at home.

But then you must stand firm. If they ask why - don't give involved answers. Just say that you'd rather not have a dog visit. If they ask why your DD brings her dog then just say 'that's a different situation.' You can even offer to give them the name of a nearby kennel but I think you'd be better off if the dog weren't anywhere near.

Good luck. Tell us how it went.
joyfulguy
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
The visitor's story about her having been aware that your daughter brings her dog ... looks quite a lot like a salesperson sticking his/her foot into your door between it and the jamb when suspecting that you're about to close it to fend off his(her) story.

If she's rude/inconsiderate enough to bring friend dog without clearing it beforehand with two-legged hosting friend ... then it seems to me that it would be a good idea to read some house rules to her, straightforwardly and diplomatically. Which would include whether you wouldn't mind the four-legged friend accompanying the two-legged ones ... as long as it smelled as good? well?

I didn't get the impression from your letter that the smelly beast wouldn't be welcome ... even if not smelly.

ole joyful ... who doesn't smell too well: might well not have noticed
SunnyDJ
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
We have a similiar problem, only this is my son and his 2 dogs....They live in another state and of course we love to see them visit which isn't that often....BUT, when they come, they have to bring both dogs, which are fairly big....We are animal lovers and right now have 3 inside cats and take care of 2 ferals and it's really hard to have dogs, that are not used to cats and vice versa, in the house...And one of the dogs just doesn't like my hubby and will try to bite which doens't make for a good time....We do keep them in the basement but they have to be walked and we also need to use the basement....My son and 1 of the boys will be working all summer at a camp and the younger grandson usually comes and stays with us for a month of so...Well, this year, DDIL decided she would bring grandson and just stay until my son comes up in August, which means, we'll have the dogs all summer, GRRRRR
Right now, I don't know what to say to my son, I want our grandson to be able to come (without the dogs) but I have a feeling, DDIL won't allow him to come if she has to stay home and take care of the dogs, herself.....Boarding them is out of the question...We just wouldn't have the money.....
So, I know how you feel.......
Cherryfizz
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I love my dog to bits but would never think of bringing him into anyone's house without a specific invite to bring the dog and even then I usually don't. I would just tell them not to bring their dog.

Thanks for the dry dog shampoo recipe Joann and the natural flea repellent. My dog has never brought fleas into the house but I like to be preventative because the outdoor dog next door does have fleas and the vet says they could travel into my yard.
marie_ndcal
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
My house, my rules. NO Dogs. Yes we have had dogs and cats and >??? but now we don't. Our kids visit, but get a dog/cat sitter for them at the house. They are happier and it works out great. We always got someone to take care of our pets when we traveled.
SunnyDJ, tell your son No, and they can go to a kennel. Our big dogs did and loved it. We paid for it, and my grandson pays for a kennel for his dog. We don't How old is the grandson and why can't he travel by himself. Under a certain age--no problem. The have paid people who take care of them if they fly. We did it with 2 of our granddaughters. If a visiting dog bit either me or my husband, he would be out of there now. Dog bites are not fun when a person has the medical problems he has.
User
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I agree with marie-ndcal, I say no dog. The shampoo was just a thought.
User
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I am so glad we live waaaaaaaaaaaaay out there in the country in a remote area where the dogs have tons of space to play in.... and so if the dogs are nice dogs and clean and flea free.. then I say.."Bring them"... and if they arrive and my trusty flea comb detects a flea.. then the dog gets a dose of Comfortis... it is pricy.. but sure does kill those fleas in just a short time..

Now if the dog was smelly.... I would try to make light of it and say something like..." Oh thanks bunches .... I guess I get the honor of giveing little herb a bath huh?".. and cart the little or large feller to the bathtub and get out the pet shampoo... no if's and's or but's...
If they get offended... oh well...
mary_c_gw
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
But that's a different situation, CountrySunshine. You have the space to let dogs run free. You are willing to treat a visiting dog for fleas. You are willing to bathe a doggie visitor.

Nothing about the OP's original post indicates she has a large property, or is willing to bathe a dog. She shouldn't need to. Any presumption by a visitor that she would be willing is an imposition.

I wouldn't be willing.
dances_in_garden
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I have two pugs. I don't think I am as sensitive to dog smells as I should be ROFL! I am not saying my dogs stink, but pugs do tend to smell like frito feet and sock face from time to time.

If you really don't want the dog to come, just tell them you would prefer they didn't bring it. They should not be offended, and if they are, well then there are other issues. I do sympathize though, because there are times in the past when I have had to just bite my tongue and deal with things in the name of "family unity". I have to say as well, that I am not above waving my arms and saying "WHEW! Stinky dog! Let's go take a bath!" and I have been known to brush my mother's dog's teeth when she comes over. "Pew! Tinky tootie breath! - brusha brusha".

Come sit here by me. With my stinky dogs *snort*!

Dances.
User
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Mary c ... I realize that my situation may be different ... as is most everyone's situation... but I simply was saying what we do...not that she needs to do that...
Just offering up thoughts and ideas...

Carolyn
pammyfay
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Hard situation, being family and all.
But unless you say something like "Sorry, but we can't have your dog in our house" and then immediately say "But here are some kennels in the area," you will get into another problematic situation: The dog's owners will pooh-pooh any thought that THEIR sweet, innocent dog smells at all and tell you, oh, all dogs smell, or,'No, our dog doesn't need a bath and don't you dare give it one." Or that you are just too sensitive.
debo_2006
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
There's no way in hell I'd allow anyone's dog in my house. It's rather presumptuous of them to think it's okay to bring their dog. What happened to asking?

I would kindly tell them that while you are looking forward to their visit, you prefer they did not bring the dog, as you no longer allow other dogs in your home. If they ask why, just tell them it's your house, your rule, not that you need to justify anything. Simple as that. You have to put your foot down now or it will be harder next time.
User
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I have never had anyone bring a dog or cat without asking at least not yet..and I never have brought an animal without first asking...If the answer is no...then of course I would leave the pet with the house sitter...
That,,,, IMHO .... is just common courtesy and common sense...

Carolyn
wekick
Original Author
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
It is the family unity thing. It is probably the least of issues as well. They have been coming to visit for 25 years and always left the dog(s) home --it is just the last visit and now this one that they brought the dog. The dog has issues with its ears I think. Maybe I can get something to wash it's ears and have the daughter with the dog offer to take their dog to be groomed. They have the same type of dog. We also have a screened in porch but I'm not sure the dog will stay back there. I did put off cleaning the carpet and washing the slipcovers till after they visit. Thanks for all the ideas.
User
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I sometimes take care of my friends' dogs and they make sure they have just had a bat and are groomed. If I have to, I will say "make sure you bathe her right before you come and I will do the same with mine.

That's all I have to say to them. Everyone gets it. If not, then things change the next time.

Or, if you don't want the dog you can say "I realize I just can't have another dog in the house. I do it for my daughter but that is all I can handle."
maire_cate
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Here's an idea - what if you casually asked them if they found out what was causing the smell? If they ask 'What smell? then you can reply that you noticed when they visited last that their dog had an odor that your DD's doesn't have and thought maybe it had a ear problem and wondered what the vet said.

If it is an ear problem then a groomer might not help. Dogs with hairy droopy ears have a tendency to develop ear problems. Over the years we had two dogs who developed chronic ear problems. We lucked out with one dog but it took multiple visits to the vet to have a cultures taken and for deep cleaning and medicine it finally cleared up. We later adopted a lab who had been neglected and her ear canals had thickened because of an ear infection. Even though the infection was cured her ears always had an unpleasant odor.

I hope you have a wonderful visit with your family and I'll keep my fingers crossed that the dog is odor free.
jannie
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
If they are good friends, phone them and tell them the truth, and ask them not to bring their dog. If they are just acquaintances, tell them one of the kids is afraid of dogs, please don't bring him/her.If they say, well, YOU have a dog, say it's different, they spent a lot of time together and the kid likes your dog, it's strange dogs that scare him.
FlamingO in AR
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
One of our dogs had a yeast infection in his ears and they were stinky and gunky, too. One trip, a little sedation and whatever they did to him cleared it right up and it never came back.

Stinky dog ears are disgusting and the smell can permeate the house, yuk. I wouldn't want him over until the problem was resolved.
susanjf_gw
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
it wasn't bad with one dog but now dd1 has 2 (smaller) and dh said no more...our cats are getting to an age they don't need the aggrivation...
amyfiddler
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Sounds like the visitor is there with the dog now. Since it's too late, I hope you have a nice visit.

I used to watch my brother who was without children bring his dogs to my parents house - my PARENTS - who never let us have animals. My parents were too ------??? to say anything. I just didn't get it. Then, brother had kids - and dogs were no longer treated like people. They were left home where they belonged.
joyfulguy
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Hi SunnyDJ (who has a cloud on the horizon),

How about suggesting to DDIL that you've bought some lumber and nails and a book on simple carpentry, so that she and family can build a dog house on their arrival. Could they please bring a hammer?

Preferably set up so that the walls, roof, etc. can be disassembled easily for them to take home with them to store, between visits.

ole joyful
cynic
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I was thinking along the lines maire_cate suggested. I'd be concerned about a medical issue and a lot of times people don't realize there's something wrong. It'd be doing the friends and the dog harm to not say something or worse yet, lie about it.

The other thing that comes to mind, and you didn't say what kind of dog it is, but if it's an outdoor dog, (outside a lot) they will often have a bad odor. Generally a good shampooing will cover it for a bit but I suspect it's something to deal with being outside more. I notice it on most all dogs that spend a lot of time outdoors.

I say ask about whether the dog has been checked out by a vet and if it has then tell them it needs grooming. Seems to me you like the dog and want it there, just don't want the smell and that's not unreasonable.

Good luck.
moonie_57 (8 NC)
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I'm just tired of visitors expecting more than they are used to getting from you.

My sisters ex SIL and her DH have stopped by here 5 or 6 times for a short afternoon visit over a 35 year period. We, excluding DH, usually go to lunch and then they go to visit some of their other friends.

My DH is rather an introvert and has never participated in lunch. Other than a short hello-conversation when they arrive, he does his own thing. Always been like that. They've known him all these years and how uncomfortable he is with "strangers" in his space.

They were here back in the fall then I received an email and she stated her husband thought my DH was rude and unwelcoming. Oh well. I didn't even mention it when I returned her email. Like I didn't already know he was rude and unwelcoming? LOL
cookie8
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Some dogs just stink naturally. A friends dog could be bathed and would stink so bad right after. I would have to wash my hands after petting her but I knew she was clean. Our previous dog never had any smell to her, despite going months without a bath.
It's tough with what to do it, isn't, not wanting to hurt feelings and all. We have someone who bring their small dog over that always poops or pees on our carpet and I have to clean it because the owner has a bad ankle. I would rather deal with the stinky dog. Hope the dog is having a "good smell day" when they visit.
Jodi_SoCal
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Moonie, my DH isn't quite as bad as yours but he does have the habit of meeting our kid's friends, chatting for a while and then without a word he leaves the room to watch TV in the back bedroom.

Our DD now warns all her friends that this will happen and more than once, after DH has left room, DD and friend(s) start to chuckle.

Jodi-
moonie_57 (8 NC)
14 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
jodi - yep, my DH does the same thing. Actually, I don't think he is rude at all but I do see why some people would think that he is. Strangers anyway. I just don't understand why my friend made that comment, having known DH since we were in our 20's. He's just wired that way.

On the stinky dog... I would just deal with it but if you have carpeting, then I would think the carpet would smell, too. Ugh.

visitors with a dog

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