Thanks for the ideas. One of the problems is that they live in a rural area and meals on wheels isn't available to them. The home health people are coming on Monday and I thinking that I am going to go over when they are there to make sure that they get all the bases covered. My mil is the kind of person that is always the first to help others but never asks for help herself. I am going to call one of the church members that lives closest and see if they can get a group together to take meals over every other day or so. My FIL is the problem and thinks everything needs to be a hot dinner. Me I could make a pasta salad and we could eat it all week long with sandwiches or grilling out. But that wouldn't be enough for them. So will have to do some thinking. Also FIL's son ( MIL and FIL married when in their 50's ) lives in town and hasn't worked for months and has been taking money from mil and fil and part of me feels that he needs to step up and help. But I want to do what I can to help. With 3 kids under 4 and one more on the way, I have enough on my plate to deal with but will muddle through. I think the most important thing is to be there when home health comes and to make sure that we cover all the bases, physical therepy for both of them, bathing, cleaning, and cooking. Otherwise I know that my mil won't ask for help, but I am not afraid to ask for help for her. Stacie girlsingardens

Thank you for telling me what I know should have happened long ago. My sister and brother-in-law are both lawyers.We haven't wanted to upset Diane right now because of her health.But, we are going to ask Bob to help us get him out of here.Like I said, I don't want them to take them, I just want to know how to get him out.When Ken was in the hospital back in March because of taking to many pain pills, I asked the nurse case worker how I could get him out. She told me that because he was a relative and that I had let him move in, the only way to get him out was to take him to court. That doesn't seem right, and because of mine and Jim's health issues, I didn't go further.You asked me if he had mental or physical issues that would make him encapable to take care of himself. He somehow graduated from HS, has held jobs, only ones that Jim or my Dad got for him, and is not so much in pain from his back that he can't work. Sears let him go because he told them that he could only come back to work if he could work for two hours and be able to sit for 20 minutes when he needed to. The disability that he is getting is from insurance that he is payin #179. a month. It is not Government disability.As far as mental, he is really a filthy person.He doesn't shower, my children came over and tore up the carpet in his room, and painted his room purple, what he wanted. And his room is filthy already.I put his microwave and toaster oven on the porch because it is filthy and I don't want it in my house.Shortly after he moved in,I found bugs in the house so made him pay for an exterminator. He pays that every month.Sorry for venting, but that is about all I have done since he has been making our life even more miserable lately. He told me he is perfectly happy here, isn't leaving, and I can't make him leave. New Years resolution. He will leave here. We have looked into HUD houses, but they do inspections and you have to keep the place clean. So, if he doesn't and once he is out, he is not coming back. My Jim use to be a locksmith and this will be one happy job for him Thanks again, for listening.

I don't know about the no stitches with abdominal surgery but my SIL just had hers done that way. I was surprised too, and in more than one way. I hope this isn't TMI, and of course I'm not sharing her name but with an alarm from her PC with a physical (no symptoms), she was sent to Seattle Cancer Care and after several tests in a rush of a week, was in surgery. They removed ovaries, tubes, a couple of large fibroids then put her uterus back in place (so bladder wouldn't shift) and didn't take that too. No cancer. It was a long vertical incision. No visible stitches, all were internal and then tummy steri stripped. They used some kind of infusion of pain med too before closing her up that was supposed to last about 96 hours and it did. I don't think she took any of the narcotic prescription they sent home with her but was fine with tylenol and advil. She had fatigue, little to no discomfort. It's been 6 weeks and she's doing great.

The green grassy area behind our little home garden is the neighbor's yard. In fact, our home garden backs right up to the property line. And while we have a cordial relationship with the neighbors, there is a whole host of reasons why it wouldn't work for us gardening in their yard. Gardening is something I do for the satisfaction of seeing the fruits of my labor, and for the joy of having the end results. There are challenges and setbacks to be sure. But there is a certain satisfaction one gets from meeting them. I'm very down because when I found out they were offering community garden plots at our local career center where they teach horticulture, I for-sure imagined it would be well-run and I got excited and started all kinds of special tomatoes to plant there. We created a little mini grow house out of our large unused extra bathroom with the walk-in shower. We nurtured the tomatoes for two months. And now they are all pot-bound and dying and this community garden thing is just another negative hassle. Sigh. I have been anticipating planting this garden for three months. It was one bright spot in a lot of darks. That's why I am so bummed. And I certainly am not looking forward to this being another "project" full of administrative issues I have to solve. I was looking forward to puttering with my plants, beings who require attention but don't respond in annoyingly nasty and illogical ways. And now I'm back to more of same, arguing with people about things that should be no-brainers and extra time and work for me with little positive to show for it. The bees Oakley, were a thought I had because of the comb-like appearance of the chicken wire we used for the varmint fence around our home garden. It's not pretty but absolutely necessary to keep deer, chipmunks and groundhogs out of the garden. So I thought about adding a touch of whimsy. The white hoops were something we did quick last year before covering the garden with clear plastic to extend the growing season on the tomatoes. We plan on painting them this year and growing beans up and around them. When we put them up last year it was too cold to paint. If time and money allow, I'd like to add some other metal bugs for fun, like butterfly or dragonfly or ladybug. Not going to be a priority though I sure wish we didn't absolutely need that ugly grey plastic shed. If there was any way I could get rid of it I certainly would. I don't need suggestions for that, it's on the "to do" list but not this year, too many other things have to happen before it can go. In addition to having garden issues we have storage issues at our house, which I struggle to overcome daily. That's why I am so bummed. One bright positive thing I thought was happening in my life has turned out to be a bust in the "spark joy" department. Just adding also, that cash and staff strapped schools and other organizations are cutting back, not looking for new ways to do more work for the community. Community service does not generate income, in fact, it requires expenditure of both time and materials. There is a huge volunteer shortage in our community, we hear that everywhere, and also budget cuts have left many organizations with staff doing what was once two or sometimes even three jobs. When I quit my horticulture job last year they never rehired for the position, just added my job responsibilities on to someone already working there full time. People can complain all they want, there is no way that isn't resulting in a downgrade of service and maintenance. That's an example of how these organizations are going. My current job used to be full time but no money to pay anyone to do it full time, so they have full time expectations and then some, for a 20 hours a week job with low pay. So I imagine the school is no different. The teachers are already involved in other community things too. That's how I found out about the community garden, trying to get the teachers to either volunteer or recommend a volunteer for something I was involved with. No way, they are maxed out. I imagine if there are too many problems they will just cut the garden out all together, what they do for actual enrolled students is what pays the bills and where their limited time and budget get allocated. If this garden requires too much attention, I imagine they will just jettison it like they did once before.