Jodi, I wish I was closser to Phoenix I would love to meet with you guys. I am 3.5 hours east of there so won't be able to come. I have a busy weekend this weekend. Jamielovescoffee is the only KTer we have in the Phoenix area. I have met Jamie a couple of times and she is a real sweetheart. You would think we would have more with the population that area has.

Since this was brought to the top, I thought I would provide an update: counseling works (see other thread). Regarding my negative and pessimistic behavior, our marriage counselor did not believe I am negative (and I don't either). He felt I was just the kind of person who approaches things in a way that can be CONSTRUED as negative, especially if the person takes things personally. For example, someone might share an idea and I generally respond by coming up with reasons why it won't work. It doesn't mean I don't like the idea at all, I just want to troubleshoot the idea a little. His advice for dealing with my DH was that I train myself to say a positive before I give my reasons why something won't work. My understanding was that I would do this to benefit the person sharing an idea with me, so they won't immediately think I'm sh*tting all over their idea etc. Now, he ALSO told DH that his job is to reiterate to me what he thinks I said, to clarify whether or not he's understanding me. So if I say "it may not solve all the problems because of blah, blah, blah" and what he hears is that I think it's a bad idea (when that's not what I'm saying) then he is supposed to respond "Are you telling me that you think this is a bad idea?" instead of just getting mad. So we BOTH have to take steps to improve our communication, and we are, so it's been a lot better. I wish I could give specific advice to you, cheerful1. My communication problems with DH were a result of BOTH OF US having issues. I'm too blunt and direct for someone like my DH, and he has too much of a tendency to assume rather than seek clarification, which resulted in him assuming the worst and then being too angry with me to want to discuss it. So I'm learning to soften the comments a little, and try (as much as possible) to phrase them in a way that doesn't blame him. I wish I had a specific example but I don't. Counseling really helped clear it up for us. In fact, DH very recently told me that when I would say things to him in a blunt and direct manner, he interpreted it to mean that I did not love him. For some reason, he thought if I loved him then I would sugar-coat stuff. ??? News to me but it explains a lot. Why didn't he say this to me years ago? I don't know, I didn't ask. I told him I appreciated him sharing that with me. jamielovescoffee_az: you are absolutely correct that it seems to be all in the approach and not necessarily the message. By the way, DH later told me...MONTHS later...that the coffee he insisted on buying WAS gross, and that I was right after all. Now, though, I think that whole argument was PETTY and I'm working on just letting some things go. Why should I be so concerned over what kind of coffee he gets for himself at his work?

Okay, I'm going to give it a shot on my group picture. Don't forget I'd only been a member here for about 3 months. Back Row: L-R. Don't remember, then me, JoAnn KS, Joan-MN/Fla. & DH Kenny, Moni, and Tammi OH. Middle: Dean & Sandy-Iowa, Don't remember, ToniNe., HeyJude in front of DH (forgot his name, sorry), LindaIA, MonicaPA, TammiOH's DH, Merle (?). In front of LindaIA is her son Ty (I think), Dea MN's DH, (forgot his name) and DeaMN. Would someone who knows please fill in the names, so I can make a list to put with this picture. Leslie

The first two KTer's I met were Pat Lavender and FranCes....and my sister embarrassed me. She insisted on going with me in case one of them was an axe murderer. But now I know Wildchild is really the axe murderer. The only reason I have survived our visits is because I take her to Jocko's for steak. I remember going to a get together at Joni's in Ventura long ago and then a couple of them in Bakersfield I have pictures from a Tehachapi trip. I got rescued by Flamingo from a shopping mall in Branson...I think it was Branson. It is really great meeting KTers and hope anyone who travels on the central coast of California will contact me.