Good for you!

No, you weren't wrong, in my opinion, to talk to the manager at checkout, but you chose the wrong time to escalate the issue to the manager.

When the server returned with your food not hot, and your friend's grits were cold, that's when you should have asked for the manager (because the server didn't fix the problem). That was the ultimate point at which something could have been done about it.

You ate the food, you pay the bill.

If you'd asked for the manager when your food came back cold, he or she might have offered to take something off the bill, but you didn't do that.

Some people might say just not leave a tip. That's one option, but you don't know whom, exactly, you're punishing by doing that. It could've been the server's fault (perhaps by not picking up the meals sooner and delivering faster) or the line cook or maybe they were short-staffed (and that would ultimately be the manager's fault).

I don't think it was wrong of you to voice your opinion. They are in business, customers are important. However, I would leave it up to the manager to offer the free meal(s). Just a side note. One time a friend and I ate out, she sent her spag/meat sauce back because it was cold. Came back with what we were 95% sure was a loogie(sp?) in the center...ugh. Couldn't prove it tho. She didn't eat any of it. That being said, I've always been leery of sending food back to the kitchen!!

I speak up more and more the older I get. I used to not want to sound rude or make a big deal out of things. My dd hates when I speak up. She cringes when I do. We went to Chili's a week or so ago and it was horrible. Huge lipstick mark on my coffee cup they brought me. I immediately called the guy over to our table to point it out to him. I don't know how he didn't see it, as the cup was turned toward him (not me) when he set it down on the table. The lipstick mark was big and pinkish red. The table and menus were greasy, and sticky.

When they brought our food, poor Sola's was inedible. She wanted me to try it so I took a small bite of it and I couldn't get past the nasty taste of the sauce. I put it in my mouth but didn't keep it there. When he came back to the table, it was obvious that she didn't eat her food and asked if she wanted a to-go box. I told him "no, that I didn't think she liked the food", when she looked at me trying to think of what to say. He asked if she wanted something else but she declined. It had already had taken over an hour and a half for us to get our food, so I was glad she didn't say yes. He didn't offer to reduce her bill or anything. Lauren thought she should get the food to go and throw it out at my house so as not to hurt their feelings!!!

I'll never go back to that restaurant again. I sent Chili's an e-mail to complain.

I think if you eat any of it, you're obligated to pay for it regardless of the service. If it's inedible or there's some other issue and you don't eat it, that may be different, depending on the circumstances. But then eating it and refusing to pay is theft no matter how you swing it.

I do agree with speaking up about bad service, however.

Pammyfay, I only talk to the manager at check out because the server disappeared because I sat there waiting so I could get the manager, yes, I ate the bacon but nothing else and my girlfriend was forcing herself to try and eat the grits..so no we didn't eat the meal entirely..I agree at check out isn't the best place, and the manager stated that they were short handed, and paid the tab.

We had that happen at Perkins. DH ordered shrimp, the waitress immediately put the order in, and came right back to the table and he asked it is popcorn (he does not like) or butterfly shrimp. She snapped, popcorn, and he replied he wanted to change to fish. She did not go back immediately to change it, and the place was full, so I assume they had not started to cook it, and when we did get the meal, the fish was cold, and just thrown on the plate. I wanted to send it back but he refused because he said they probably would contaminate somehow. He ate part of it, which being diabetic he needed the food. The waitress never asked us about the food, but just as we were leaving a manager asked us about the food, and I told here it was not good and we probably would not be back. All she said, was that was too bad. BUT leaving, I did tell people coming in to be careful that we got bad service and bad food. Going back to the hotel, in talking with others this apparently was an ongoing problem with this place. They were not recommending it. Don't know what happened, because we have not stayed there again, chose another place to stay and eat.

when traveling we used to always ask the desk clerk where they'd have dinner...actually has worked 99% of the time...but we, too, have gotten very picky the older we get, and a place gets one chance...a fish place my dd loves in her part of the county, was aweful over by us...i'm not about to spend $40-50 for a bad dinner, more than once!

I would definitely pay. It would take an awful lot, much more than that, for me not to pay. I would complain very politely, and I would try not to do it at check out. If I had no choice but to do it at check out, I would ask the manager to step aside to discuss it. I would be very discreet and polite about it (not to say you weren't).

You did right.
If the service was that bad, telling the server will NOT solve the problem -whether it be with them or the kitchen.

When there is a problem, you must complain to someone who has the authority (or access) to remedy the problem...and the manager is that person.

I wouldn't pay either. We went to a Chinese Restaurant that had a very good buffet. It was taken over by new managers. When we went to get our food, it was absolutely terrible. After we went back to our table, I ask for our bill and she wanted to know why we didn't eat anything. I told her the food was terrible and was not edible. She knew it was bad because no one was in there except up, so she just said not to worry about it. We didn't. A few weeks later the place closed down. I don't believe you should have to pay for food that is not correct. And also, if I returned food and had something strange in it when it was brought back, they would have heard me loud and clear.

Remember when they use to have consumer service cards to fill out.. I ask for one recently and they didn't know what they were..management stop supplying them because they didn't want to hear the complaints, I now I call the # on the receipt

Here in Tn. before we ever go out to eat, the wife checks the health inspection report for the place we are going. Some of the inspection reports are scary so we avoid those. It's all legit as a food service's/restruant inspection report is public record, at least here in Tn. If we see a report below 90 we don't go there. She looks them up on her computer. You can view the inspection report on any place that serves food in any town or county in the state.

If the food is unacceptable, and you send it back uneaten, explaining the reason why--then you don't pay. If you eat it, or allow the waitstaff to bring you a replacement and you eat that (even if it's not up to your standards) you pay.

But you don't eat the meal and then decide not to pay. That's just the same as stealing, in my book. Whether the food was delicious or not, you got a meal out of it and you should pay for that--unless the manager OFFERS to comp the meal for you. And whether or not you pay for the meal, you still need to tip the waiter--they have little control over the quality of the food so it's not fair to cheat them.

A former neighbor of ours would eat in only two restaurants in Chicago. He was second-generation owner of a large pest extermination company and had seen most restaurant kitchens in the city.

It looks to me as though the subject has been well and fully covered, from various directions.

When the food came back still cold, I think that's the point at which I'd have been asking to speak to the manager.

ole joyful

I don't think you EVER refuse to pay at the cash register! So did your friend pay for yours?

Could it have been that you were talking instead of eating and your food got cold?

Someone paid for that food even if even if "you refuse to pay for lousy service."

I don't tip for terrible service. Tips are based on service primarily. Bad food can impact it but the server isn't at fault for food prepared poorly. Then you alert the server and if needed the manager. But you don't eat and then refuse to pay. That's wrong and can get you arrested.

I don't think I've ever demanded free food or refused to pay. If it was bad and not taken care of I wouldn't return again.

Put me in the you eat it, you bought it camp. Refusing to pay for it at the register is in really poor taste, pardon the pun, not to mention dishonest.

I agree you need to voice your complaints to the manager, but sampling the meal and then refusing to pay for it reminds me of that scene in Victor, Victoria where Julie Andrews eats an entire meal and then plants the cockroach.

Just because the manager paid for it doesn't make it right. He likely didn't want to make a scene, but that doesn't validate your response.

Altho I weighed in on this earlier, when I look back over the thread, something's missing: I don't think Plantmaster actually said she didn't pay -- just that she didn't think it was worth paying for.

Even thought the sentence "I refuse to pay if the service is lousy" does lead us to assume she told her friend and the cashier she wouldn't pay for her share.

Plantmaster: Maybe you can clarify whether you did or didn't?

I thought she mentioned on her second post that the manager paid the tab...not sure.

On a similar note, my own sister is one who complains about everything when we (used to) go out to eat. She always says the waitress does or doesn't do something (which I think in some cases is just an excuse for her to leave a poor tip), often complains (to me) about this or that being cold, often sends things back to the kitchen, and then makes her complaints known at the register. I've solved that by not going out to eat with her anymore. She embarrasses me. One of these days I should probably TELL her, but I won't.

We recently went to Denny's for breakfast....great service but what I ordered tasted rancid and too greasy. I set it aside after taking only a couple of bites.
The server came over to check and noticed I wasn't eating my order and wondered if it was OK. I told her my concerns and she offered to replace it but I declined.
When the bill came she had taken my order off the bill....and then the manager asked if our meal was OK. And then noticed my order removed. She apologized and was happy the server was so observant.
We tipped on the amount we would have been charged.

Was your girlfriend embarrassed? If so, it doesnt matter whats right or wrong
Imo. I dont go to dinner with friends who make me feel uncomfortable, regardless.

If I'd sent something back for being too cold ...

... and when it returned, it was still cold ...

... I'd be calling the server, to say that we'd expected the food to be warm but when it came the first time - it was cold.

We sent it back ... and when it came back the second time - it was still cold.

If we send it back again - should we expect it to come back on its third trip ... still cold?

If it'd come back the third time ... still cold ...

... when it came time to pay, I think that I'd go up to the cashier ... then say that, being unhappy, I didn't figure to pay - yet.

Go back to the table ... ask for water ... or something. Sit for a bit.

Go back to the cashier ... not pay (for some reason that I'd thought up during my second stay at the table) ... return to the table ...

... sit for a bit ... then go back to the cashier ...

... to ask whether she found it strange that people came up to pay, but didn't, till the third trip.

Then - I'd ask to speak to the manager ...

... then, after telling my story (probably with some histrionics and, knowing me, possibly with an embellishment or two) ...

... finally pay.

And ask him/her whether, on visiting a restaurant where food that one expected to be warm had arrived at a table twice ... cold ...

... would s/he plan to return to a restaurant which offered such service?

ole joyful

DH and i were in a restaurant and when they brought our food over,i picked up a french fry to eat it,it was cold.So i called our waiter over and ask if i could get some fresh and hot ones.He complied,but must have sid something to the mgr,as the mgr came over and asked me what the problem was as well.I told him,and by the time he came over i realized that my teriyaki chicken was burnt.He tried to tell me that it's always like that,and i said i'm sorry,but i have had this at other restaurants and it wasn't burnt. He took it away and offered me something else,but since this was mainly a fish house and i hate fish,i declined.So dh didn't have to pay for my meal.We stopped at fast food on the way home and got e something.

A few days later i got a coupon in the mail for free meal.Gave it to dh,and i never went back there.

Didn't want to go in the first place as as i said it was mainly fish and teriyaki chicken was the only thing they served other than the fish and i do like teriyaki.

I do speak up more these days than i did when i was younger.
Kathi