I need decorating advice........

18 years ago

Ok, so I admit it, I am not Susie Homemaker or Martha Stewart. I bought my parents, who have not had new furniture in over 20 years, a new sectional for their living room. Their friends kept giving them their old furniture and they inherited some new stuff (10years ago) from my Grandmother. I am planning on sending them away for the weekend, so I can go in and remove the old, paint, and have the new stuff delivered. Their home is very small and my mother has insisted that the walls in the living room be white now for more than 30 years. I intend to change it. The sectional I bought has a dark chocolate leather frame and the rest is done in a pecan micro fiber. There are about 10-12 pillows that are reversible with a different design on each side. I have not purchased the new coffee tables and lamps because I want to let my mom pick them out herself. She has always been real picky about her coffee table. Has to be a certain size, have storage, etc.... Convincing her to get rid of her lamps is going to be real hard. They are over 30 years old and I can remember as a child, that she saved for months to get them. She took on upholstery jobs to pay for them. I am going to try to put them in the family room in the basement till I can get to that room to redecorate. So I am thinking of going with a pecan color on the walls and a antique white on the ceilings. I would like to do a 4-6" border at the top of the walls, in a darker brown. Does this sound rediculous? Someone help! My husband always hires a decorater when it comes to our home, so I have never had to be involved. If this doesnt turn out to be a disasster, I intend to do the dinning room and make my way through the rest of the house. With mom's approval, naturally. Please help me. I would like to surprise them, but I dont want them to hate it and just act like it looks nice.

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Comments (33)

ont_gal
18 years ago
Its nice that you're in a position to do that for your parents,but tread lightly.
What you may think is out of date,obviously they love,so go easy on the changes
msprettyky
Original Author
18 years ago
The truth is, they dont have the money to do these things. I know what you mean by tread lightly though. Believe me, I have been more than nervous about this. It took me two months to pick out the sectional. This is why I decided to let her pick the tables, drapes, lamps, etc....
I had a new front door and frame installed last weekend and some new drywall, so the painting must be done. I brought the paint samples for her to look at and she has agreed to let me "try" the color change. She told me I had to pick them. If she doesnt like them, then I have to change them. She doesnt know about the furniture or my other plans yet.
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lindyluwho
18 years ago
Do you have a picture of the sofa? It helps to see what you are talking about before suggestions are made.

Linda
msprettyky
Original Author
18 years ago
Here is a pic, but the details are not good. Should give you some idea though.

Here is a link that might be useful: sectional
Linda Wayman
18 years ago
You are a very nice daughter to do that for your parents.
The colors sound pretty and I like the idea of the border along the top.
I was unable to get to a photo of the sofa from that link.

Linda
alisande
18 years ago
Have you posted this on the Home Decorating forum? You'll get good ideas in both places (although not from me.....that would be the blind leading the blind). :-)
fran1523
18 years ago
If she has always liked white, I would be really careful about putting too much color on the walls. There are lots of beautiful beige shades that can warm up a room and still provide a neutral palate. Benjamin Moore's Blond Wood and PHiladelphia Cream are two nice shades I would suggest but you would need to look at them with the sofa and carpet first. IMHO, a wall paper border around the ceiling is not the way to go. Good luck and please share pictures when you are finished.
msprettyky
Original Author
18 years ago
It would not be a wall paper boarder. I would paint it, like the rest of the room but am not sure that I will go that way. Like I said, this is not my cup of tea, so to speak. I appreciate all the input. Does anyone know any sites I could look at that might help me? I have no other help with this and really am glad that I am part of the KT community. You gals and guys are some of the best people I "dont know". LOL!
alisande
18 years ago
Once again, the Home Decorating forum has a Gallery with lots of examples of paint colors. The thread linked below has photos of Pittsfield Buff, Waterbury Cream, Blonde, and others that might interest you.

Here is a link that might be useful: photos from the gallery
ritamay91710
18 years ago
I have been going thru my mom and dad's house, painting all the rooms. I have let them pick the colors. Luckily, they didn't want white. I would be very careful about "taking over". Not saying that in a mean way... Believe me, I could go crazy throwing out old stuff, and changing everything in my parents house. But in the end, it is their house, I don't live there. It looks a heck of a lot better with fresh paint on the walls.
Also, I would say pass on the stripe. JMHO!!
Good Luck!! It's a nice thing you are doing!!
Rita
Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana
18 years ago
Their home is very small and my mother has insisted that the walls in the living room be white now for more than 30 years.
I had white walls for 20 years. I was afraid of color, and did not know how to pick out anything other than a 'shade' of white.

I finally broke down, and with the help of a friend with an eye for color, picked a fairly dark green, with an even darker green accent wall. Once painted I loved it.

Whatever color you decide, just stress to your mom, that if she doesn't care for it, that it can be very easily and inexpensively changed to a white or other color of her choosing.

Whatever you choose, I hope your Mom is pleased...or else take her paint shopping too when you shop for tables.

Your link above did not work to see a pic of the sofa....

Sue
Pieonear
18 years ago
I'm not trying to be negative because I think you are doing a wonderful thing, but don't jump into anything on the sofa. Have you sat on this one or just seen pics? Older people would want something super comfy and that one doesn't look comfy to me. Besides I've always heard that loose pillows are a PITA. Why not take them furniture shopping and let them pick a new sofa? Just a suggestion but would save a lot of possible unhappiness on both of your parts.

Mammie
msprettyky
Original Author
18 years ago
Thanks again for all the help and the link to the decorating forum. I did take a look. I tried to post the link to the sectional again.

Here is a link that might be useful: try again
sue_va
18 years ago
Msprettyky,

I'm sharing a few of my thoughts and hope you will take them in the manner I'm giving them.

It would help to know a little more about your parents. You only refer to your DM. Your DF is part of the picture, and he probably has his likes and dislikes also. Are they Seniors, or younger? I am a Senior, and if my DD "sent" me away for the weekend and I came home to a complete do-over I would be devastated! I like the colors, furniture and lamps, etc that I have. Some are very old, some new, some in between.

Do they even want to go away, and if so have you given them a choice of where they are going?

Why not consider having a chat with them and tell them you and your DH want to do something for them and that you will foot the bill, then give them the choice of what they want?

If you decide to go ahead without their input, why not talk to the decorators you have hired and get some suggestions from them?

I know you want to do something nice for them, but upsetting their applecart is not the way to go. I'm reminded of an old saying: "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions." Good intentions don't always work out. This could create an unpleasant situation.

Good luck.

Sue
sayhellonow
18 years ago
MsPretty, I think it is lovely of you to want to re-do your Mom's living room, but I don't know if I would go as far as painting without her knowledge. Personally, I don't like certain colors on my walls -- especially dark colors -- and I would be unhappy if someone painted my room without talking about it with me first. My living room for the past 20 years has been a kind of almond-cream color -- carpets, drapes, and furniture. I love it and never get tired of it because I can change the whole look just by changing the accessories. At present I have blue, green, and coral, but for eight years they were red, black, and caramel. There's nothing that doesn't work with my basic color scheme, and I'm wondering if that's why your Mother prefers white. Or maybe it's just that it's brighter in her opinion. Of course, you know her and I don't, but those are only my thoughts.

I think I would go ahead and purchase some of the other things such as lamps and tables, first making sure you can exchange them or get a refund if Mom doesn't like them. That might be an easier thing to correct than a paint job. Also, she might think it would hurt your feelings if you went to all the trouble to paint for her, and she ended up not really liking it and not wanting to tell you.

I had no trouble with the link, and I really like the sofa. Now you have to let us know what happens, ok?
pattico_gw
18 years ago
oh my....

I too would not do that if she doesn't know about it...

But you know how she is...for me I'm funny about my things...

I'd love to have my kids come in and decorate my house but to my liking.

I think it's great you want to do for them...

patti
gardenspice
18 years ago
I'd go with a warm cream - no border of any kind.
best of luck!
Chemocurl zn5b/6a Indiana
18 years ago
Reading mammie's and Sue's posts, got me to thinking some more....particularly about the sofa. (I found I could indeed see it if I filled in my zip...sorry).

Older people would want something super comfy...and.....Besides I've always heard that loose pillows are a PITA.
I so agree with that...and I for one can never seem to get comfy on a sofa with a bunch of loose cushions. They just never seem to be in the 'right' position behind my back.

Their home is very small
Another reason why 'that' sofa may not be to their liking. It isn't one that could easily be placed in different ways in a room. It is however a nice sofa, in the right setting. Just keep in mind that it may not be 'right' for everyone.

{{!gwi}}

BTW...my folks too always just had hand me down furniture too...nothing that was ever really 'right' or really 'wrong' to them.

Sorry to maybe add to your confusion by now.

(the other) Sue
frazoo
18 years ago
Just a thought on sofas and chairs for older folks. They also want or need them to be firm and when seated they need their hips to sit even with or higher than their knees. Some of this newer furniture is the pits to get out of.

Leslie/KS.... who has struggled to get up from some of the younger folks sofas...LOL!
kacram
18 years ago
Sounds like her mom does know about the paint...
" I brought the paint samples for her to look at and she has agreed to let me "try" the color change. She told me I had to pick them. If she doesnt like them, then I have to change them"

sorry, can't help with colors. I need to see everything in person! lol I still have 4 color painted on my walls, big splotches, tying to figure my own out! lol

I LIKE loose pillows! The fixed ones are never in the right place for me, and with loose ones you can adjust them to fit!
msprettyky
Original Author
18 years ago
Ok....now I am throughly confused. Think I might scrap the whole idea. I purchased a sectional because that is what mom has always wanted. Yes, both my parents are elderly. I have sat on the sofa, it is very comfortable. I thought the loose cushions were a good idea because they have a different pattern on both sides and can be reversed. But now that you all have mentioned it to me, I see it is a bad idea. I know my mother will never allow me to take her to a store to pick out furniture for me to pay for. Thats why I wanted to surprise her. I will just do the painting that has to be done since I had the front door and frame replaced and be done with it. Sometimes I can be pushy. It takes others to show me how much. Thanks again for all the great advice.

Brenda
liz
18 years ago
Brenda...you've been given great advice here...on both sides of the coin...at first I was TOTALLY against it...but your last post now has me doubting my inital reaction...at first I totally agree'd with Sue/VA but now...
If you've sat on the sofa and are sure they can get up and down from it easily and wont mind the loose pillows i say GO FOR IT...does her taste run to modern cause I'm very traditional and would be upset if I walked in and saw your choice...but i'm thinkin you already know you're Mom's feelings there...Dad probably will just be thrilled to plop down on the chase side of that couch!

With that much color in the sofa, I'd go with a cream on three walls and a darker on an accent wall..I'm not sure what I would do with the ceiling...bright ceiling white has always been my color of choice!

YOU ROCK!!!...keep us posted and let us know the outcome...I think it's great you STILL HAVE your parents and are able to do this for them...

(when you're finished with them, come on down to GA I need a few rooms painted...:):)
stephmc72
18 years ago
I like the sofa personally. I had a sofa with loose pillows and it wasn't my favorite because you always seem to sink too far into the spaces between the pillows but they're typically comfy, unless the pillows are too overstuffed.

Regarding colors, I'd probably go with a very light shade of the couch cushions. Not the same exact color, a few shades lighter, then if they have an accent wall (maybe a fireplace wall??) go with a darker color, more like the leather color. However, that would entirely depend on how your parents would react to having a dark wall, and also how big is the room. If it's too small and/or too dark of a room (no natural light), it might not work. I wouldn't paint a darker color border along the ceiling line. And I'd leave the ceiling almost white, but not stark white. Maybe a very light almond type color but not in the beige family.

I think what you're doing is very nice. Since you yourself said you can be pushy, just try to find a common ground between what you think you should do and how you think your parents would want their living space.

My husband isn't elderly and didnt have favorite furniture peaces for decades and it still took me forever to convince him that color on the walls and in the house is a good thing. If you're used to living in a space for so long that's a certain way, it's hard to adapt to change.

Good Luck, what a nice daughter you are!!
lilliepad
18 years ago
OK,I'm one of those "older" folks (I'm 66) and I can tell you that I definitely would not like that sofa! I had one similar to that,hated the pillows.They never stayed put.The section on the end,useless.I always thought I wanted a sectional until I got one.LOL They can't be arranged but one way and most of the time only in one certain area.I don't know how "old" your parents are or their physical condition but bear in mind that when we get older we sometimes have a little trouble getting up and down! That sofa looks "squishy" and looks like it would be hard to get out of if you have that problem.I would much prefer a nice comfy chair or wall away recliner.Since their home is small,maybe a love seat instead of a sofa? Ever noticed that nobody ever sits in the middle of a sofa? So why have a full length sofa? You can do much more with a love seat and a couple of chairs than with a sectional.If I ever buy new furniture it's just going to be comfy chairs!LOL
I think you should let your mom pick the color for the walls since she knows you are doing the painting.Be sure to paint the ceiling also.Either the same color of the walls or a lighter hue of the same color.If you want to do a border of another color,do it the ceiling color but you should also put some kind of wood strip to separate the two colors.That might be more work than you anticipated.
Instead of getting new lamps,you might consider new shades for the old lamps.I have a couple of lamps that belonged to my parents.My mom saved for months also to buy those lamps and I wouldn't get rid or them for anything.I just bought new shades and they look great!
You are very sweet to do this for your parents and I know you wanted to surprise them,but I think it would be better appreciated if you let your mom pick the furniture.Maybe you could take her shopping with the pretense that you are looking for an item of furniture for yourself.Sit in the chairs and on the sofas and you might get an idea what she likes and dislikes that way.I would never want any of my kids to pick what was to go in my house that I have to live with,no more than I would pick for them.
I hope it all works out.
pattico_gw
18 years ago
About the comfort...I'm old...(well sorta)...I want something firm and not too low. One of those real soft that you sink into and can't get up out of doesn't work at all. My couch is firm but comfortable to sit on...

My daughter's grandparent in laws went shopping for a new couch....they picked the exact couch I bought but with different fabric. Oh...and they don't have loose pillows except a couple throw pillows that were made to match.

I hadn't read the rest of the replies when I first replied...so I didn't know it was not a complete surprise. If she knows you are doing it and getting to put her wants into it too , I think it will be okay...

Back to your original question...I don't know beans about decorating...lol

patti
msprettyky
Original Author
18 years ago
Well because I was in doubt, I called home and had my neice pull up the sectional on the net for my mom to view. She loved it untill my neice for some reason said, "Do you like it for your house?" I said no, but it was too late. Now she says that she will not allow me to buy her a new sofa or any other new furniture. I guess it is all for the better. Maybe now my stomach will come out of knots about the whole ordeal. Seems I bit off more than I could chew! Once again, thanks everyone. You have been great.

Brenda
kathi_mdgd
18 years ago
Being a senior citizen myself,i'll give you my take on the sofa for whatever it's worth.

I like the color of it,however i don't like the pillows or that one end without the arm.I do like high arms on my sofas.Also what is the height of the sofa from the floor to the seat,some of those lower ones aren't comfortable for us seniors,too hard to get off and on.

I think if it were me doing this,i would paint the room a nice neutral,nothing too dark or too bright,then take them shopping and let them pick their own furniture.When you get to be our age,what may be comfy for you may not be for us.

For instance.DH went a few years ago and bought me a recliner without checking with me first,and he's only a year older than i.Anyway i Hated it!! It was leather,which i absolutely despise,it was way too big for me,my feet didn't even touch the floor,and it was too big around my body as well,oh and you had to kick the lift part to make it go down,and i have bad knees.To me it seemed like it was made for a big strong man.I thanked him,but after awhile i admitted me and the chair weren't compatible.

He sold it to his friend and gave me the money to go pick out my own,which is what he should have done in the first place.JMO
Kathi
sue_va
18 years ago
Brenda,

I didn't even look at the sofa before I posted above. Whether I liked it or not had nothing to do with your decision. So now I have seen it and, no, I would not want it at all. I have a "two-seater" in my LR and also in my den (are they still called dens?) because just as Lilliepad said, no one ever sits in the middle by choice.

Anyway, I'm glad you decided not to do this. You may have sparked an idea with your DM though and she may want something new in the future and you can help her with that.

I said I would be devastated if my DD did that to me. That is true, but if she would like to send the MerryMaids over once a month, I would kindly accept!

Maybe your folks would like that?

Sue
daisyinga
18 years ago
Regarding painting....I used to love rooms painted dark colors, but now I prefer light colors that bounce lots of light, because I have a lot more trouble seeing than I used to.

So I'd be hesitant to paint my mom's walls a color much darker than she's used to.
mary_c_gw
18 years ago
Wow, I'm glad you backed off on this.

If any of my children attempted to pick furniture or paint colors for me, even as a loving surprise, I'd have been seriously ticked off. Even my DH is not allowed to buy such major pieces without a consult! We live in our house together, so we both consult each other. You don't even live there.

It is a lovely gesture, but I think maybe getting them a gift certificate to a furniture store would be much more appropriate.
redcurls
18 years ago
My daughter in law and son have that EXACT same sectional - except the chaise is on the reverse side. In fact, I paid for it (thank heavens, they chose it) as a house warming gift. I hate that couch. And I don't think they like it either. By the time you sit on the cushions, you are maybe 12 inches from the floor. I much prefer the feel of a recliner to the chaise part of it. The slant of the back is all wrong. The older I've gotten, the more firmness I appreciate in the cushions I'm sitting on. I do NOT want to sink so far down that it is difficult to get up. I agree with most of the people here...no painted border...and no dark colors that would need primer to cover up if they don't like it.
Lindsey_CA
18 years ago
Brenda,

Just a little thought -- maybe you could "pull a fast one" on your mother. Have her come with you while you go furniture shopping. Tell her that you're thinking of getting a new sofa for your house, but because she and your father will come to visit and will sit on it from time to time, that you want to get one that will be comfortable for them. Or, don't tell her anything, other than you'd like her to go with you, to get her opinion.

Then, pay attention to the comments she makes. Have her sit on various sofas, loveseats, chairs, etc. When you're sure she has announced that she likes a particular piece, you can then go back to the store without her, and buy it.
colleenoz
18 years ago
Could you maybe have the current furniture tarted up- refinished, recovered etc, so it's all fresh and matching?

I need decorating advice........

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