Here's the article.

Here is a link that might be useful: senior bulying---mean old girls

Mean girls exist everywhere and age has little to do with it. In every large group there are mean girls.

In clubs and organizations, at the workplace, in neighborhoods and even on forums. Some are blatant with cruel jabs but the more common tend be thought of as "nice" people. They form their little cliques and turn on anyone who dares not support them or is different. The rest enable them for fear tehy might become the next target or loss the imagined "perks" of being part of their fold.

There are men bullies of course but as a rule men tend to outgrow it more often than women. At least the male bully is more direct easily identified and men tend not to honor him for it as women tend to do with female bullies. At least that is what I observe.

My mother always said that mean girls and women didn't turn into nice ones just because they got old! LOL

I agree with Wildchild - women are much more prone to it in emotional ways than men are.

The most shocking lesson of adulthood was that "mean girls" and bullies never grow out of it. This does not surprise me in the least. I just wish those raising these kids would understand they won't just grow out of it. Poor behavior needs to be addressed when it appears so it can be eradicated. I don't know what the solution is but I know these nursing homes are not ok for many reasons!!

I believe it. Women are the worst, but I've seen men do it too.

Wildchild, your post was spot on & echos the linked article well.

It isn't unusual to see this behavior on forums. I have found it puzzling how some people who otherwise seem kind & nice, "allow" a bully to badger & demean another poster. But as the article points explains, "Third party bystanders are part of the problem." Of course you run the risk of having the herd turn on you, if you "speak up".

"that human phenomenon of the strong picking on the weak. It is not a function of aging. It is a function of pathology."

There's an article all over the news about a married couple who kept his mother in their unheated garage.

She wasn't allowed in the house at all, slept on a wooden pallet and did her business in a pail. Not sure how she was fed.....probably thrown scraps.

She is in her late 60's, and is currently being treated for hperthermia. They are being charged of course.

I don't understand how any sane person could do this to a parent. Going through what I am with my Mom, I don't know how anyone can sleep at night, treating their Mom like this. What goes through their mind to want to do this?

Jasdip that is elder abuse. Not the same thing as the type of bullying your original post addresses.

As for male bullies versus female bullies my observations come from having always gotten along better with males as I was growing up. I hung with males as "one of the guys" most of the time. Men can be very outspoken and in your face with one another but everyone pretty much plays on a level playing field. Men don't really respect bullies. In fact a group of men will often beat the carp out of a bully.

On the other hand girl/female bullies are often the most popular. Maybe it's a self-esteem issue with women but they seem to hover around the bully and allow her Queen Bee status.

Alpha males are never bullies. They're more the ones who have a great deal of control and don't grandstand. They don't seek out attention for the sake of attention. They get attention by what they don't do more often than what they do.

Alpha females want attention. They will do almost anything to get it.

The competition with females is infinite. With males it ebbs and flows. Men compete and respect one another. Many women cannot compete without dissing one another.

I thought as I got older and entered senior status things would change. They have a bit but not all that much. Women are back biters and gossips.

I have to play down my guy way of looking at things when I am around a group of women.Women say they admire the way men are socially but they really don't want one of their own to be open,non competitive and secure. They want you to compete their way.

I've worked in senior housing. It's just like high school.

I don't know...on the Gayle King show yesterday they had a woman who studied the "Mean Girl Syndrome" and she said they do grow out of it. Jr. High mean girls grow up and mature and go through rough spots, etc.

I do see evidence of "clicques" at Sr. Citizen homes but just in the way that certain people sit at a particular table for lunch or cards. I don't see peers as being bullies, maybe a relative or caretaker who has an interest in getting their money, but not their peer. JMHO.

Is it a "clique" just because a certain group of senior citizen residents likes to sit together for meals or to play cards, etc?

I would never excuse being nasty, rude, or impolite. But it seems to me that if a certain group had bonded & that was part of their daily routine, then it might be unfair to label them as a clique or cliquish, b/c that seems to have a negative connotation.

Men who would never bully other men can often bully or otherwise abuse women, of course. I know of just such a man who needs to put those he considers inferior (ie. women) in their place in order to bolster his own ego. I am just very thankful I'm not married to him: his wife seems totally cowed by him. Sad.

Years ago, my Mom visited our local senior center. They do crafts, discuss books,go on trips, have lunch served to them, that sort of thing.
Mom said no one would talk to her, so she never went back. Of course my Mom went in there shy and scared , with a stony look on her face, and she approached no one. I was not surprised at her reaction.