I think I would talk to her. Tell her, you are sorry you are to loud for her, and ask her to make you aware she is closing the door when you are not facing it while on the phone. Explain the fact, that you ran in to it, cause you were not aware it was closed.

I would also let her know, that you can't hardly hear the peeps on the phone, and guess they might not hear you either.

Just let her know, that you aren't trying to "bother her".

Moni

One thing is you having this problem hearing your calls. Sounds like something you should check out w/ a trip to an ENT doc. Doesn't seem anyone else is having that problem. Surely they experience the same acoustics all around since you don't mention anyone else talking loudly, that is.

Another is the fact that someone talking loud is extremely annoying to me. It startles the senses almost. Can't explain it but had a friend who did that. I hated having to make him aware of it all the time. Try to remember even though you have trouble hearing your call, they have no problem hearing you. Imagine talking to a person with x amount of hearing loss. You have to practically yell for them to hear you, but it makes no sense for them to yell back, but they do. So, you're really yelling at your caller. Wouldn't like to think they sit at their desk with the phone held away from their ear. Kind of embarrassing to imagine.

I'm not totally sure your problem is that she shuts the door, that she doesn't tell you she is shutting the door, or that she doesn't ask your permission to shut it. I'd just ask her to make sure I am aware that she is shutting the door from now on. I wouldn't have a problem that she closes it or that she doesn't ask me if she can. Like I said, the loud talking is irritating and also be disruptive. Not to mention, she has to talk on her phone also and would rather not have her calls so interrupted.

Talley, could a head set be attached to your phone? I love using a headset because I can hear so much better especially in an office enviornment where the acoustics and the telephones aren't the best.

Myself, I would never close someone's office door without whispering or passing a note if they were on the phone to tell them why and I would always leave the door ajar if I did so. Nothing worse than being in a stuffy office.

I know that when I work on the elections my office is always next to my bosses office and because I am constantly on the phone talking he does get up and shuts his door - but never mine.

I would talk to her and mention that maybe she can close her door instead if you being on the phone bothers her because you need the air to circulate or next time you are going to be on the phone for any length of time get up and close her door first and let her know why. LOL Maybe that will stop her from closing your door.

Anne

Maybe she shuts it because of the content in your conversation and not necessarily because of the loudness. Could it be a "privacy" issue? Just offering an opinion.

I think that headset idea is great. I think you will not only HEAR the caller better, but you will talk quieter.

Is there any way you can put something on the door frame so you will KNOW it is closed....I know some people put something like Wallies on their sliding glass patio doors so they don't walk through them.

I have a hard time concentrating when other people are talking, too. They don't even have to be talking loudly. In an airport terminal gate, for instance, I can barely read anymore because there are so many people talking on their cell phones. I've given up trying and just listen to my Ipod instead.

I think your co-worker is just trying not to rudely interupt your call by silently closing the door. I don't think she means to irritate you. I hope it all works out.

I don't think she means to irritate you either. She just doesn't want to hear your phone calls. Just ask her to let you know when she's shutting your door. Talk to her.

So I'm going to ask the IT folks about some sort of volume enhancer for the phone (believe me, I have it turned WAY up; but its loudest isn't loud enough).
It is quite possible it is just the phone or even just the receiver part of the phone. Why not make a test call to someone (even time and temperature) and see how it sounds from your phone. Then make the call from another phone.

I had a phone here at home, that I had a hard time hearing on. I accused BF of not talking loud enough into his phone. Come to find out, the problem was with mine. I pitched it.

The other night I was talking to my sister. I was all wound up, as I usually get when I'm visiting on the phone with loved ones. She told me to not talk so loud. I never realized it b4 she said something.

I doubt too if the neighbor is trying to irritate. She likely does not want to hear your calls and doesn't want to close her door, not knowing just when you will be off the phone so she can open hers.

I hope you can get something set up that you can hear better.

Sue...an old phone company person

Hi Talley Sue,

Are there others close by who may be distracted by your voice?

Perhaps that may be part of the reason that she closes your door rather than her own.

Get an inspirational message to attach to the door (with something funny on the back, to greet visitors through the glass) which can not only notify you that the door is closed, but lift your spirits, as well.

Well ... maybe not too much of lifting of spirits ... in an office ... in the a.m.

Might it be a good idea to have your hearing checked? Have you had it evaluated recently? Do those close to you notice that you don't hear as well as you used to?

I hope that you can get things worked out with your neighbour without stress.

ole joyful

I'd certainly try and different phone and maybe give some idea to the headset...

i'm guessing you don't know this person next door to you well enough to just ask what the prob is?

good luck...hope its an easy fix!!

I can understand you being irked by her behavior, Talley Sue. I would be, too. I think to avoid this festering, you should invite her to lunch or something else pleasant and have a mature, calm conversation about it with her. If you can befriend her first, then it won't grate on either of you so much. Perhaps she is very sensitive to noise, I know I am, much to my DH's chagrin.

We have a friend who talks so loud in person and on the phone, we wonder how his wife can stand it. When he calls Woody, I can hear his side of every conversation thru the phone, even across the room. I fear for OUR hearing! lol

I admire the fact that you recognize that you talk loudly and aren't afraid to admit it and are working on a solution. A lot of people would just get huffy and in a snit. Not you! Good luck, I hope you find a great solution.

I agree with Flamey. Schedule a lunch meeting, get to know your neighbor. When you know someone, it's easier to put up with some things.

At my office, it's fairly frequent that someone will shut the door to a conference room or enclave if the volume is too high. (No doors on cubicles :)

I've never heard offense taken at my office, but it may be part of our culture. Can you think back to times at your old office to circumstances where this may have happened?

Definitely call IT. There could be a problem with your phone, or they can help you enhance the volume. At my company, we'd call the ergonomics people and get a headset :)

Good luck,
Audrey

In our church, we have an area where we socialize, with coffee etc. before services start. One guy, who is maybe 55-60, is hard of hearing. He talks SO loud in normal conversation. He needs a hearing aid. I know when my Mom has hers in, she almost talks in a whisper, and I can't hear her. When she doesn't have them in, I hear her fine, because she talks louder. I think he just doesn't realize he's so loud.
Leslie

Tally - just a few thoughts- Even if you are a little loud when using the telephone I think she should say something to you. She may not be trying to offend but shutting your door is an action that she should acknowledge. Even if she just says something like "I hope you don't mind ...or.... I didn't want to interrupt your phone call.... but our offices are so close... the sound proofing is not up to par.." I think she should have said something.

But since she hasn't - why not bring up the topic and tell her that you think your phone isn't working properly. You could even ask to switch phones with her and test it on your line. Tell her that you're trying to resolve the issue. Since this is a new office set up I'm sure you don't want to get off to a bad start. It's a shame that you don't have carpeting that might help soften the noise.

I didn't realize it but I'm one of those people who talks louder when on a cell phone. It has something to do with the fact that you don't have a regular hand receiver that cups around your ear. It's a hard habit to break. I hope IT can help or the headset as others have suggested.

So, she is trying to work in her office, while you admit you are very loud. She comes and closes your door quietly.

I see no problem ..how receptive are you to lowering your voice, and always lowering your voice so others can work with her having to leave her desk to re-ask?

You have to be so darn careful of people running to the HR to complain. She doesn't want to go to lunch and be your friend. She just wants to get her job done in a professional manner.

First have your phones checked. Second see about a FM reciever that plugs into it and into a headset for you.
Been there done that...Kathy

I'm not *shouting*--I just can project my voice really well. I don't know that I'd agree that I am "very loud."

It's just that--well, it's my door. If she wants it closed, she should ask me. Actually, she should close her own door.

As cherryfizz pointed out:

This just feels really aggressive, in a way that seems couched so that I can't object.

In fact, the area we are can get really loud from other noises outside both our offices.

I don't want to "befriend" her--especially not now.

There isn't anyone else near us to be bothered; I'm at the end of the group, on a hallway.

Do what Flamey says.
Maybe, because of your loud voice, she is intimidated and doesn't want to approach you. Befriend her and let her realize you're a really great person with a really loud voice.
LOL
Then approach the door closing issue.

Lori

Well, in that case- how about getting one of those rubber wedges and jamming it nice and tight under your door, propping it open? Then she'll have to struggle to get it out so she can close your door the next time and maybe that will clue her in that you're not thrilled with her actions. Maybe then she'll say something to you about it and you can discuss the problem she's having. And I agree, she should be shutting her own door, not yours.

Gee - I completely missed that - she should be shutting her door and not yours! Absolutely. She wasn't appointed hall monitor was she? And I love the rubber wedge suggestion!

I find that a Tapestry and Plants, even a small tree will absorb some of the sound. A cork bulletin board helps too!

Just my 2 cents.

Gayle

Try to consider that projecting well to you really is loud/yelling/shouting to others. Because you CAN yell by projecting even more and at higher tones doesn't change what you are normally doing for those who have to be interrupted by it. Try to consider also that you're not trying to work on it if you are responding to those who react to the loudness. When they react, it brings your attention to the fact that you're projecting too loudly, so you try to tone it down some. That's only responding, not working on it or there wouldn't be such incidents that people have to react. Or, at least not so often. Working on it is thoughtful consideration before you begin speaking. I understand how you feel, in that she's probably trying to send you a message. At the same time, you complain of no circulation and your office becoming stuffy. Why should she have to suffer that?

I'm sorry, Talley. I'm not able to compose my responses quite so eloquently as you have often done for me. I wish I had your ability for doing that because you have helped me so many times even though your answers weren't necessarily what I wanted to hear. I always appreciated your reasoning and your gentle way of delivering the message. I snotted through it LOL but always took your advice. Just to let you know.

I really don't think it is fair people here so often respond in the posting member's favor. If the circumstances were switched and you were complaining of your loud neighbor, most of the answers would still be in your favor, meaning the answers would be just the opposite.

That's only responding, not working on it or there wouldn't be such incidents that people have to react.

HUH??? Responding after the fact is the first step of working on it.

And "working on it" by definition means "not successful yet."

I'm working on it. I've been consciously trying to modulate my voice on the phone.

This is a tremendously unconscious thing. It's like breathing. It's not intentional; it's instinctive. It's a much harder habit to break than biting one's fingernails.

And actually, most of the answers here are NOT in my favor.

And I agree, it would stink that she should have to have a stuffy office because I'm loud. But frankly, she should have talked to me about it first.

I'd have to try hard not to be miffed also! I think it's especially rude of her to be closing your door having never said anything to you about why. Noise is the likely reason, but really who knows what's going on in her head if she hasn't said. The next time she closed my door, I'd be inclined to go to her and say "Why do you keep closing my office door?" It doesn't have to be confrontational; it's a simple question. (Although I'd probably take a couple of breaths before I went in to make sure I was asking in a relaxed manner.) If she replies that you're speaking too loudly on the phone, I'd tell her "Thanks for letting me know you feel that way. I'll work on keeping the volume down. If you have a problem in the future, please just tell me. And please don't close my office door anymore. I've almost walked into it a couple of times because I didn't realize you'd closed it". I'd try to keep this conversation short, matter-of-fact and as relaxed as possible.

And if she kept doing it, I'd probably try the rubber wedge idea! I like the cork board idea too - with all those hard surfaces bouncing the sound everywhere, the entire office is probably really noisy. And hopefully the tech people can find you a better phone.

Here's the policy at the office I worked before retiring and still in place..( I had to go look it up in my old files)

It's your direct supervisor's responsibility to talk to you about modulating your voice volume.

The next time you will to be told by a supervisor. The last time you are told,you will be told in writing.

Talking too loud is not a protected 'right' of a person who's employed by someone else and works with other people.

Then after all of that, you were out the door..

Talley Sue,
You are right - she COULD have talked to you about it, but let's face it; it is easier to just shut the door.

I would absolutely get a high quality headset - it will definitely help.

Do grab a cup of coffee with her and tell her you are working on it and getting a headset - make this a small thing before it festers and causes more bad feelings.

And good for you for owning up to and working on the issue! So many people would have made it HER problem, and said "if I talk to loud , that's everyone elses' problem."
Good luck with this!

"Get your hand out of the fire." isn't exactly the same as "Don't put your hand in the fire" because the message a toddler receives is "I can't do this right now." rather than "I can't ever do this again." In one instance, he learns to oblige, ceasing for the moment. In the other instance, he learns not to do it again. I was trying to suggest mental implementation to anchor you in the thought process before you begin speaking. I really don't imagine you didn't get my point, but reject it if you wish. And, I wasn't trying to weigh, count, or categorize the number of responses by type. I was speaking only of those that applied.

A couple days ago we had a discussion here on being easy-going or high strung. I'm glad to see you are taking the easy-going route.

Then today I noticed on the Question of the day it is mentioned that Today Is: National Be Heard Day.

I think it would be good if you would let yourself be heard. By that I mean first, have your phone checked. It is a new phone, but there still could be a problem.

Then if the phone is okay, speak to the lady about closing the door. Apologize (yes, apologize) if your talking is bothering her, and just ask her to please let you know if she closes the door, because you walked into it one time. Do that with a smile and a giggle.

No need to make an enemy, make a friend, or at least a pleasant co-working situation.

Sue

Not to cause more tension, but n every office situation I've worked in (a dozen or so), the person on the phone is the one whose door is shut.
They are the one doing the talking, bothering others.

I agree she could have come back to said why, but then I think you could have said "sorry If I was bothering you", once you were off the phone.

I have very sensitive hearing. And when Scott or Linda are talking on the phone too loud, I lose my concentration. Especially if I'm working on taxes or the books. I would probably get up and, softly, close the door too, if I could.

Does she close her door when she's on the phone? I'm wondering if it's her habit to close a door to make a phone call, so she thinks everyone else has that preference, too. In which case, she might think she's being helpful.

Maybe you really aren't bothering her, maybe she hears your voice and assumes you are trying to be heard on the phone above other noises. She might think she's being considerate to close the door for you. You see? Maybe she thinks she's doing something *for* you, not *to* you.

Just trying to get another angle. It might just be a misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up.

The next time you are on the phone, I would intentionally speak in a lower volume than you normally do. Before the conversation is over, ask the person you're speaking with if they are having any trouble hearing you. If the answer is yes, then you definitely have a problem with your phone that affects the ability to hear clearly on both ends, in which case a whole new phone is needed. Then I'd speak to the woman who closes your door and explain that you have requested a new phone because your customers are having difficulty hearing you, and you realize that speaking loud enough to be heard, can be distracting to others. I'd also mention to her that your office gets very stuffy with the door shut, so until you get the new phone, you will be happy to close her door whenever you make a phone call and open it for her when your call is finished.

If the people you speak with have no problem hearing you when you've intentionally lowered your voice, then your normal voice must be louder than normal, so I'd get a headset to drown out surrounding noise, and try to train yourself to speak more softly on the phone.

Talley Sue, you have every right to be miffed. I really think you should speak with her, nicely of course. Ask her why she shuts your door rather than just closing hers. Maybe she can hear you and THINKS you can hear her. She may just be afraid you might be able to "evesdrop" on her calls. You do have every right to feel "miffed".

Hi Talley,

I think if I were working quietly in my office, and a one-sided conversation from across the hall started interfering with my concentration, I would be upset that my neighbor didn't close her own door.

Maybe you're feeling like your neighbor violated your space by closing it for you. And maybe she did, the first time, before you knew there was a problem. But now that you know you're bothering her, it seems like closing your own door for those 10 minute conversations is just common courtesy. Are you sure other people are not bothered?

I don't think I would feel it was my duty to close MY door, while the person creating the distraction left hers open.

nikoleta, that's exactly why I'm trying so hard not to be miffed by it.

And no, I'm sure other people aren't bothered. I have a closet ahead of me, and the employee kitchen on the other side of me.

Nice try, Stephanie, and applaud the sentiment, but I really don't think she's the "do someone a favor" type. I worked w/ her on another project a year or two ago, and while I admire her, she's just not the type to go THAT far out of her way.

I have this very same situation happening to me all the time at work. Only I'm the quiet one.

There are two people in two different offices near mine, one male and one female, who both have what I call "strident" voices. They, as you say, project very well. Their voices are loud and strong, particularly when they are on the phone. The noise is quite disrupting and distracting to me.

I haven't had the nerve to close their doors. I wish I did. When they are really really ticking me off, I finally get up and close my door, tune in soft music on my computer, and/or turn on my tiny heater/fan. All to mask their noise. And fume to myself that they have the ability to bother me like that. It's gotten so bad that I have to force myself to be civil to one of them. She just irks me so, especially when she is working on her computer and talking to someone on the phone via the speakerphone option. Augghhhh! That really drives me nuts because then she talks even louder.

In a small way, I sympathize with you because you say you just speak loud naturally and don't mean to offend. On the other hand, since you have become aware that it apparently bothers others, I suggest that you investigate every option available to minimize the disturbance you create.

In the last office I worked in it was standard practice to close the office door of the person being loud. Why should she sit in her office with the door closed, which in most places is a type of "do not disturb", when it is someone else that is being excessively loud?

I think if someone is using the speaker phone, you have every right to ask them not to.

And if someone's voice is loud, I think you have every right to alert them and ask them to deal w/ it.

I guess I just wish there had been some conversation about it before she started closing my door.