Son had a large wedding and reception but because it was in the afternoon, no dancing. But if we did have a song it would be Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me." His small high school graduating class sang that to the parents then they gave the mom's a rose. Talk about crying! DIL knows what a close knit family we are and she loves how close I am to my son's. Now that she's a mother of a son she really understands the special bond between son and mother which is not like the old saying goes, "A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daugther is a daughter for the rest of her life." Heck, I still get onto my children! I'll always remember Barbara Bush speaking about Jr., "Just because he's the President doesn't mean he can put his feet on my coffee table!" lol

Clearly some people don't understand the difference between doing the "right" thing and being self indulgent. There are many times when my behavior reflects the "right" thing as society defines it and not the REAL way I feel. It's certainly quelled my desire to engage in road rage or tell my coworker she dresses like a slut, and I'm probably a better person for it. I'll be the first to admit that societal politeness has saved me from myself many times. And sometimes, much to my inevitable regret, I've lost control over my immediate knee-jerk response. In my opinion it's better to do the thing that will ultimately reflect upon your own character, even if the short term desire is to hurt someone. Letting someone else's bad behavior result in yours might be momentarily gratifying but in the long run, it's weakness. But, that's just my opinion. However, if petulant and bitter behavior is what you're really all about, then I guess some would say that is doing the right thing by being true to yourself. If that's the self you truly are. Only you know who you are or who you would hope to be.

Hi guys, thanks for asking!!! As you know she had her surgery on Good Friday. She was coming along great and enjoying eating solid food. This lasted for about a week. They noticed that her urine in her catheter was cloudy and had some stuff in it, so it seems that her organs are Communicating again, and her bladder might have developed a leak. They promptly hooked her back on iv....feeding her through the tube. The test is that if her urine runs clear, then she was definitely getting solids from food in her UI tract. We were hoping it would run cloudy, but it's clearish again. They did a scope on her bladder and she does have a hole in it again. They are keeping her on iv's to see if it does heal on it's own with time. If not, they'll do surgery and yank the damned thing out. I almost wish they'd do it anyway, instead of waiting. She was so much better and stronger when she was eating. I was so excited and happy after Easter weekend. One thing that Wally and I have noticed is she has nausea all the time (they put gravol in her iv). When she was eating, she didn't have that. The doctor was in to see her last nite. He cut a bunch of snips of stuff when she had her surgery and the initial results showed that they were all benign. However, last nite, he said the pathologists are still combing the tests, and they did find a small, minute slow-growing cancer. He said it's nothing to be alarmed about at all. So, she's back to where she was prior to having surgery, hooked up to iv's and getting up out of bed daily to do a little bit of shuffling with a walker and 2 nurses. Nothing major, not even around the room. She hasn't walked for so long, that she's terrified of falling. She literally has terror in her eyes when the bed rails come down and she has to stand. I keep reassuring her that the nurses and physio nurses are there to help her and won't let her fall. She keeps telling herself that, she just has to tell her legs that. She's planning Father's Day (for us). Tells me where things are, and don't forget to....... etc etc. So she'll have the menu planned and everything organized from her hospital bed, well in advance. lol She really does thank you for your wishes and good thoughts. I keep telling her that you are asking about her and of course she has the cards that you sent.

I found out why his oldest daughter had been so difficult, and it wasn't because she was a spoiled "brat". She has a hard edge and that hard edge is thanks to Dad. On a Saturday this spring, I received a phone call from a woman. She told me she had been having an affair with my dh for several months (she lives out of town). He travels for business and she gave me details that fit and I knew she was telling me the truth. She told me they kept in touch by text-messaging. I didn't even know he knew how to text. Her parting shot was "I guarantee you there are others". She was very angry with him. He must have made her promises he didn't live up to. DH wasn't at home when she called. When he arrived home, I confronted him. He confessed. I got online and went through the text messages and found I couldn't see what was written but I could see the history. I saw another phone number from a different city that kept showing up and sure enough, it was another woman he was also carrying on with. Mind you, just weeks before this happened, I told my Mom that I was so lucky because I knew where he was every night (watching TV at home). I had no reason to believe he was misbehaving when he was out of town. I completely trusted him. Then came the realization that he had lied to me about the reason for his divorce from his first wife. Since he was in a "confessing" mood, I asked and he confirmed he was the guilty party in that situation, too. He begged me to stay with him and try to make our marriage work. I couldn't do it. I never even considered that we could make it work after he deceived me (from the very beginning) and then he betrayed me by cheating on me with multiple TOW's. We are no longer married. He's still trying to talk me into giving him another chance but there is just no way. I've gone through it all - shock, anger, self-pity, despair and now I am reaching acceptance that I did what I had to do to take care of ME by divorcing him. It is not about punishing him but it is about me having my OWN life, separate from him and his lies. I can say that I am very much enjoying being back in the driver's seat of my life. I have talked to his ex numerous times since then. She has been very supportive because she went through the exact same thing with him - over and over. He is a serial cheater and I think our ability to talk to one another helps us both. I think he is just a real wolf in sheep's skin and she thinks he is a great guy. She still loves him, but she did have two children with him and spent most of her life with him. I didn't. I also spoke to his oldest daughter. She cried on the phone. I felt very sorry for her. She has been hurt so badly by what he did to her Mom and to their family. She loves her Dad but she hates him, too and I think she was more aware of his cheating than her little sister. I asked both the ex and the oldest daughter why they didn't say anything to me about his infidelity with the ex (I had no idea) and they both replied that they assumed that I knew. As for the youngest adult daughter, she calls me frequently and we get together. She told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend and her Mom is very supportive of us being friends. I would never say anything bad about her Dad to her (or her sister). We just talk girl talk and I do love her. The points I am trying to make is never assume the wife knows. She is often the last to find out her husband is cheating. And never assume a man has told his spouse-to-be the truth about his past. Also, beware of the recently divorced man who pushes you into marriage. There are reasons for this. First of all, if he is recently divorced and looking for a serious relationship, he can't possibly be over his marriage and divorce. If he acts like he is, something is very wrong with the picture. If there is a hostile child (or adult child), the reason may not be BM. The reason may be that the child is in conflict (love-hate) with Dad because of something Dad did. The other reasons the man may want to push the marriage issue quickly is 1. Financial 2. To try to remedy his image or help him with a bad family/child situation 3. He is afraid to be alone. I learned a huge lesson. I can relate to Christie Brinkley when she says she will never marry again. Never is a long, long time, but if I ever marry again, it will not be to a recently divorced man and I will have a prenuptual agreement and I will keep my finances separate from his. In spite of what happened to me, I still believe in love and I still believe in marriage - with the right person. I hope my Mom is still alive for many years to come. If I meet someone and introduce her to him, I will LISTEN to what she has to say. I will never let a man rush me again. I'm technically not in a "step" situation any more but I'd like to continue to read and post. I may be able to offer a very different and hopefully helpful point of view.