I recently had a similar situation. I have been doing a lot of work on my house to get it ready to sell. I have been working with a carpenter (I adore) for almost a year. He has acted as a GC for some things I needed done. He would bring in someone he worked with but I would pay them separately. He recommended a painter who came and gave me an estimate to paint my entire house inside. I agreed and he brought in two workers. They worked for approx 2 weeks. My carpenter came back and didn't like the work they did. He called the head painter on the phone and began screaming at him telling him to get over to my house. Long story short, the painters never came back. I couldn't reach them, never heard from them and lost approx $3,000.00 in the process. My carpenter explained that some of the work was poorly done, no primer was used when it should have been, nails weren't hammered in, picture hooks and outlet covers weren't removed. I was upset that I lost money and painters. He (the carpenter) said he'd finish the painting at no cost to me except the paint. He was right, the work was poor. I noticed some things but not all. I work during the day and was not present to supervise. I still am not sure if I am happy he spoke or if he should have left them alone. Either way, I lost money.

I've been reading Rosemary Barron's "Flavors of Greece" (I read cookbooks the way others read novels). In it there is sort of a Greek version of hummus that might work: Rivithosalata (Garbanzo Beans & Garlic Salata) 1 1/2 cups dried garbanzo beans, soaked overnight in water to cover 2 large cloves garlic, chopped 1 tsp ground coriander or 1/2 tsp ground cumin 1/2 tsp sea salt 1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper 5 tbls Kalamata olive oil Strained juice of 2 lemons for serving: Finely chopped flat-leaf parsley 1 tbls dried rigani (Greek oregano) crumbled 1 tsp paprika Drain the beans and place in a large saucepan with cold water to cover. Bring slowly to a boil, drain, rinse. Rinse out the saucepan, return beans to pan, and add cold water to cover by 3 inches. Bring to a boil, recuce the heat, cover, and genly simmer for 50 minutes or until so0ft. Drain, reserving 1/2 cup of the cooking liquid and a few whole beans for garnish. Place the beans, garlic, coriander, salt and pepper in a food processor or blender container. With the machine running, gradually add 1/4 cup of the olive oil and most of the lemon juice. Add more salt and pepper and the remainign lemon juice if desired and process until smooth and creamy. For a thinner consistency gradually add some or all of the reserved liquid (if you plan to store the salata add all the reserved liquid---it will thicken on standing). Spread on a platter and sprinkle with the parsley, regani and reserved whole berans. Combine the parprika and remaining tbls olive oil and sprinkle over the salata. To store, refrigerate in an airtight container for up to two days.

I found myself in this complex step family situation due to death not divorce, however, from what I hear ... the grieving process of a divorce is similar to that of the grieving process of a death. After extensive counseling ... the point they all seem to drive home is ... My life has changed, It is forever different. I am different now. I can never go back to the way it was. I accept this new life and make the best of it. My personal point ... What doesnt break you makes you stronger. It almost broke me ... I blew the scale off the stress charts ... In less then two and 1/2 years (just the HIGHLIGHTS in chronological order) ... I got married, I had my first child. Bought a new house. Just found out that second child was to be a Boy. Husband was killed in a car accident. Moved into a fixer upper my high-energy husband wanted. Roof leaked, needed new furnish, etc... Change of occupation (Over ten years experience programming computers for fortune 500 companies - to a full time stay at home single mom, that had never changed a diaper, until the birth of my first child). Gave birth to second child who had an undiagnosed ear problem (stupid doctor - I switched pediatricians). This child never slept more then one hour at a time until I had tubes put in his ears at 1 year. No one would keep him over night. I had to beg (which is very difficult for me) friends and family for a few hours once a week (if that often) so I could sleep. The sleep deprivation almost sent me over the edge. I found strength in my children. I forged on. Things got better. I now believe more in myself and my abilities. I am stronger now, an independent women and I have confidence that I can conquer any twists and turns life may throw my way. I have emerged with more confidence in myself and who I am. I realize that I will do anything for my children's well fare. Remember Lea, you beat the odds, you made it out of an abusive relationship. I admire you and your strength. Accept it. learn from it. Thank your parents for giving the brain power and instilling the strength in you to over come such a hurdle. Maybe some sort of volunteer work to help others in abusive relationship, might ease your sole. And Yes, writing just the highlights, still brings tears to my eyes.

popi, both myself and my siblings are so happy my mother did not die alone. But I did feel awful at first that even though I was right there, the last thing she saw was my panicked face, and I wasn't even holding her hand, which probably would have been so comforting to her. My DH had stepped out into the hall momentarily to prop our door open so the paramedics would find us easily when they arrived. So I was alone with 2 crying kids and desperately trying to talk to the 911 operator. I planned to comfort her right after I got off the phone, not realizing that her last moment of life was passing in front of my eyes. Had I known that, I would have held her and said "I love you so much Mom, you were the best mother ever" instead of kind of yelling at her "Try to relax Mom, the paramedics will be right here!" So don't feel too bad that you weren't physically there when your mother died, because even though I was, I wasn't actually comforting her as she passed. I think that's something we can't always control and I'm o.k with that now. She knew how much I loved her, your mother did too, and that's what really counts. mammie, please don't worry that your mother was seeing something terrible because of the look on her face before she passed away. I think that some people are fortunate enough to just kind of lose concsciousness and then slip away without any awareness of anything about to happen. In my mother's case, she always hoped she'd just pass away in her sleep some day. So I believe the frightened expression was more of momentary fear of how she would pass, since she was obviously aware it was happening, and definitely not that she saw anything terrible at her moment of death. shay13, my condolences for your mother's recent death, the pain will become less intense as time passes. I'm not 100% sure which anti-anxiety med my mother took because it was 5 years ago. I know that she took the pill to relieve her anxiety, and unfortunately she passed away before it kicked in, but I don't believe it CAUSED her death. I do have the pocket guide for perscription drugs and Ativan doesn't list any side effects like loss of consciousness or cardiac arrest. I believe the fact that your mother never regained consciousness after her last blackout was not related to you giving her the anti-anxiety medication. Remember that you didn't give your mother an overdose of it, and her doctor who perscribed it was aware it was to alleviate anxiety when she sensed she was about to pass out. So I doubt he'd prescribe something that would risk her not returning to consciousness afterwards. I didn't intend my post to stir up any sense of guilt in those of us who tend to second guess things about a loved one's death. To shay13 and anyone else, I no longer hold any guilt for anything related to my mother's actual death. My post was strictly related to my guilt from continuing to lie about it to my siblings. I just felt that if I was expecting you all to take the burden of guilt off my shoulders, I'd just give you the whole story of what happened. We plan our regular visit to my sister's house between Christmas and New Year's. My other siblings that also live in Windsor all come over for a family gathering on Dec. 29th, because that's the day my mom passed away and we like to have a big crowd and play games and laugh, knowing how much our mom would love that. Just turning to all of you at the KT has really helped to relieve my guilt about lying to my siblings. I felt it would be much better to reveal the truth to a large number of people who could take the burden from my shoulders and throw it away for me, than to reveal it to four who would just place it upon their own. I'll let you all know how the visit goes, and Happy Holidays to everyone in case I don't post any other threads before then.