Does the hospital have a sibling program? When DS#2 was born the hospital did a program for big-sibs-to-be. The kids came in for a "class" with other little ones and parents. The nurse showed them the room where mommy would be, the bassinet they put babies in, things like that. With a doll, they showed the kids how to hold a baby, talked about what babies need, what they do and don't do, to wash your hands and not put things in the baby's mouth ;o) and gave them a "big brother/sister" t-shirt. Eric was just barely 3 when Kyle was born, but I think it was good for him. He put some of what he remembered together with the reality once his brother was home, it clicked once he saw things for himself. It was good for me, too. Gave me ways of saying things and looking at things that helped us with the crazy days. Like telling Eric *mommy's hands* are busy instead of mommy is too busy. (That was too cute. In no time, before he'd even ask for something he start with "are your hands busy now?") Small thing, but he was OK with waiting for my hands, it wasn't the same thing somehow as waiting for me attention. It was concrete maybe, yeah, I can see mommy's hands *are* kinda busy right now. If Grant is scared, and you're undecided about a hospital visit while you're there, maybe it wouldn't help anyway. Just a thought. Good luck! When you have difficult times over the next couple months, just know you are not alone, every mom has those days. It isn't going to be perfect and that's OK. Laugh and love it.

One thing you might try doing is to leave her some clothing with your smell on it -- like a t-shirt, or a night-shirt -- maybe something you are getting ready to wash, but can keep out for her. I know cats are really into smelling things, and this may be a comfort to her. Also leave the TV and/or radio on when you are gone. The sounds (play classical music) may help soothe her. The other suggestion -- get her another cat to keep her company!! Did the shelter or volunteer say anything about her ability to get along with other animals??? If you could find the right companion -- that could be the perfect solution to her separation anxiety! Please keep us posted, and good for you to adopt this kitty in need!!

OMG, I went through this with my little Tubby and I know how you feel. Mine was in a shelter, in a damaged cage next to his sibling. Both were deposited at the same time. When I brought the little fellow home, I was not prepared for what happened. He would not let me out of his sight for an instant. I had to put him in the car, drive back to town and get him a crate so I could bring him up to work because he mutilated himself if I was out of sight. He only stopped crying long enough to chew his tail to the bleeding point. My husband was out of state and thankfully I owned my business and it was on my property, so up to the greenhouses he would come with me. It continued, I could not go from one structure to the other without him chewing at the metal bars to the point of injury. I did just exactly as Justplaincountry said she did. He had to learn that when I was out of sight, I would return. I told him to be a 'good boy' and did the come and go routine for days, extending the time by a minute or two. Then when hubby came back he was tolerating ten or twenty minutes and we took turns being inside with him or taking him on leash to 'visit' the other. Even a month or two later we were afraid of his anxiety level if we went for more than an hour or two, so we dropped him off at our daughter' house nearby to socialise with her pooches. We used to do the same for her dogs. The moment of truth came later that summer when my cousin died and we went to her services. It was four hours and that didn't even include staying for the wake. When we got home, he was fine and has been ever since. They just need to know you'll be back. I suppose this has something to do with trusting another human who never did come back. God only knows what they went through in a previous life. I believe mine was treated well. He came trained, healthy and with manners. Somebody broke his heart.

Crate training is not just throwing a dog in a crate and expecting him to like it. There is actual training involved. The reason your dog is behaving like that in the crate is that he is not ready to be left in it yet- he hasn't been crate trained. 1. To properly crate train, you start by setting the crate up and leaving the door open. I fed my dogs in the crate, so if they wanted to eat they had to get into the crate. They could come and go as they pleased. You don't leave the dog in the crate for any amount of time until he is trained for it. 2. To train them to the crate, start by putting some very yummy treats in front of and in the crate. This makes him comfortable in the crate even when he is not being fed in it. A nice comfy bed helps too, if he doesn't eat it. 3. After he routinely goes into the crate to get food and/or treats, start using training words to get him to go in it. Say "go to the crate" or whatever and give him a treat as soon as he obeys. Once he does that immediately every single time you tell him, you start closing the door behind him. Then just sit by the crate feeding him treats through the bars. If he gets upset, open the door and give him a release command (OK or whatever you decide to use). Give him a treat for obeying. 4. Once he is comfortable in the crate with you feeding him treats, stop paying attention to him and just sit by the crate. When he starts to be anxious, release him from the crate. Do not allow him to yell or whine or chew on the bars- just wait for him to start panting or slobbering or whatever he does when he first gets worked up. You don't want him to have another panic attack while in the crate. 5. Slowly move further and further away from the crate for longer and longer times, always staying below his stress level. Always reward him for obeying the going into the crate and coming out of the crate commands. 6. Once he is comfortable for a long time being ignored in the crate, go out of sight just for a few minutes. Don't ever make a big deal out of leaving him- just walk out of the room. Then wait a couple of minutes, go back into the room, and give him the release command and a treat. No gushing or excitement allowed- always remain calm. 7. Once he is comfortable with you leaving the room for a long time while in the crate, you can start leaving the house. Again, no gushing or excitement when you come home even if he behaves perfectly, and especially no excitement when you are leaving. The goal is to make the crate a normal part of the day, not a huge production that gets him all worked up. If he needs anti-anxiety help, Missing Link may be a good start, but not all dogs respond to it. You may need your vet to prescribe anti-anxiety medications. Sedatives are not appropriate unless your dog is in danger of hurting himself- they do not reduce anxiety, just the dog's ability to express it, which is not what you want. It takes a lot of patience to properly crate train any dog, and even more to crate train a dog with separation anxiety. Good luck.