sautesmom what was your Dad's name? I wonder if I knew him? Dittos on NEVER using black mulch, plastic or rubber, of any kind around here. I use mulch, and lots of it but organic mulch; old leaves, palm fronds, clippings and such. I also will get a truck load of tree chipper machine chipped material from time to time. I use this, un-composted, in thick layers around most everything. now, it takes a little while for mulch to start working into the ground in it's own natural way, so the first year, you may see some signs that plants are missing some nutrients. Don't fret, don't worry, just be patients. It will take one full season but after a year, you will have the most wonderful soil with well developed horizons, great structure, great tilth, great nutrients, great root action, and just all around great growing. Roses: just mulch, mulch, mulch. Start with 12 inch pile the first year, then keep topping it each year to bring it back up to 6 inches deep. I remember years ago meeting my next door neighbor neighbor at a nursery and we were buying the same rose variety the same day from the same place. We bother even planted on the same side of our houses and up beside the house. He planted his and used all the store bought rose "stuff". I planted mine and ONLY used yard trimmings as mulch. A year and a half later, his had a couple of dozen blooms, mine had over 100 with more petals on each bloom. Mulch is THE way to grown in here. Mind you, he is one of the best non-orgainc citrus growers in the area, so he knows how to grow things. For the country club settings, you will have to use a very attractive looking mulch to avoid repercussions with the HOA'ers. Store bought may be your only choice. Use one that is NOT fortified with chemical nitrogen or other chemicals. You will need LOTS of bags the first year, then just a little more each year to replace what has worked into the ground. Well composted, store bought mulch you can use 1/2 as much, 6 inches the first year, then top up to 3 inches every year after that. Make sure the gardeners know, so they don't rake all your good mulch away. The sunset gardening book is VERY good at suggesting what will do well by zone. If it says zone 13 (ours) it will do well. Others not listed as zone 13 may do ok with special help and special location. Also, note, that all this is added ON TOP the soil. Do not add it into the planting hole as that will encourage root rot. Back fill your planting hole with only native soil. Climbing roses may need a little protection from wind. The summer will be hard on them but just keep good care of them and they will come back in fall with a second flush of good growth. It's almost like a 2nd "winter" and 2 springs. They need a little more water in summer, but be careful not to drown them either. It's easy to see them starting to stress on the krazy hot days and think they need more water and drown the roots. Just up your water some as temps start to break 100 and trust that will be enough. It's best to water early in the morning before the ground is hot. You will loose less to evaporation and the root zone will stay cooler with cooler water. Remember you are watering the roots, not the stems. Keep the soil (and thus the roots) moist, not wet, all summer and the roses will bounce back in fall and reward your efforts.

Oh this has been a great post! I am sending back the masala dabba because I made my own following Jim's suggestion to use canning jars and an old canning jar box. It is now sitting on my back kitchen counter, on top of the microwave. I also just got my order of spices but am thinking about sending some of them back. I do not want to have a bunch of stuff sitting around that I don't use, or don't need to use. Here is what I have in my masala dabba at this point, a lot of it was stuff I had for making chai. Whole nutmeg Dried ginger root Cinnamon sticks Green cardamom pods Whole cloves Whole fennel seed Whole yellow mustard seed (which I sometimes use for canning) Paprika Ground corriander tumeric Dried celery leaves (which I figured might sub for fennugreek leaves) Here's what I bought and am definately keeping: Hing Asefeotida Amchoor Black cumin seeds, whole Here's what I'm debating about sending back Fenugreek seeds, whole Kashmiri chili powder--can I use my dried ancho or red pepper flakes? I'm out of cayenne so if I could sub this for cayenne it might be a keeper. But I also have Thai hot sauce in the fridge that I sub for cayenne, so I don't know what's what. Black mustard seed--do I really need that and the yellow ones too? Corriander seed--is maybe ground corriander enough? Any thoughts? I had a chopper that went with my hand blender but it broke with the cheap plastic parts on the top. Made me sick, but I was tired of looking at in in the cupboard and it couldn't be fixed and you can't buy just that attachment that I am aware of. So I threw it out, and now the smallest food processor I have fits onto my blender motor with a base attachement, it holds about two cups. That's the best I can do for grinding whole spices. I know it seems pedantic, but I'm just not going to use a mortar and pestle, I don't have the patience. It's not a time issue, it's a dexterity issue. I really don't enjoy the process of cooking all that much, but I do it because I REALLY enjoy eating good food! I am only working part time and looking for job so I really can't afford stuff for the kitchen right now. That's why I'm wondering about all the spices too, as long as I'm sending stuff back. But I do want to expand my experiences some. Moderation you know, like the Buddha said! The reason I am so interested all of a sudden in Indian cuisine is because the middle and near east are becoming such prominent cultures on the world stage and I want to know more about them in a first-hand way. I think cooking the traditional foods of a culture is an excellent way to get to know the people and their take on life.

bnicebkind, I am sure you are suspect about my advice. However, I have an exact replica of OP's MIL. MIL is the most overbearing, rude, miserable, critical (and those are the nice descriptions) individual I know. I found that once I stopped taking her comments to heart and let it go in one ear and out the other (rather than engaging her and allowing her to make me feel insecure), I was able to straighten my back, listen to her comments, consider the source, respond politely and wait for her to leave. My MIL is a person who's thoughts never process in her brain, they come straight out of her mouth without thought that one or another comment may be offensive, hurtful, critical, etc. If you don't allow someone to hurt you, you take the power away from them. Fake it at first if you have to, and eventually you will actually feel it. I spent years crying to my husband when I would have to be in her presence and she belittled me. DH gave me good advice. Call her on it. When she says something that you don't like, tell her. I do now. I never raise my voice, I never get worked up, I just tell her straight up what I don't like. I do not let her ruffle my feathers. It works better to disagree with her in the moment and then there aren't residual feelings of hurt or insecurity. It actually works like a charm. The incidents are fewer and further between. I also realized that I did not want my husband to fight my battles and I certainly did not want my husband to insist his mother like me. If she doesn't like me, I no longer care. When I started realizing that my life was none of her business, I did have the backbone to tell her so when she asked an improper financial question or a question I felt was too personal. Everyone has to go with their own comfort zone. I hated that she got to me regularly. I was feeling insecure, which I hated since that is not me. MIL knew she was pushing my buttons and worse, I was letting her. I have now diffused her and she no longer has that power to aggravate, hurt or insult me. I posted about just taking a seat in another room rather than ruin the whole family dynamic. That is what I do. I don't want to be the cause of everyone not being able to celebrate a holiday together. If MIL has pi$$ed me off recently, I just say hello when I walk in and go on my way to a different room. Of course, we will have to sit at the same table for dinner, but there are usually other family members and actually, they all know how she is. It isn't just me she unleashes this behavior on. She is rude to everyone at times, including strangers in public. We joke in the family that she has Turrets. Who would be hurt if I refused to go to family functions that she was attending. My DD wouldn't see her cousins, I love my SIL and the other family members. Actually, I'd be spiting myself. When I came into DH family, the dynamic was different, I was younger. I soon had a baby with many health problems which were not expected. MIL found a place to be critical and be overbearing in the advice department. I finally just told her that I was following what my DD's doctors wanted me to do and that when she completed her medical degree I would take her advice. Now, I don't feel insecure at all, I ignore her, come back at her, listen and let it go in one ear and out the other, or whatever it takes so as not to give her the satisfaction of upsetting, insulting me. I think as I grew older I also got alot wiser and realized that in the whole scheme of things, MIL was a blip on the radar. Example - new floor laid recently in kitchen, laundry and my office. MIL comes over unannounced/uninvited. Comments how nice the floor looks but the color really isn't right, such and such color would have been much better. Response: This is the color I chose because DH and I like it. End of subject, diffused her. Do I hate that she is the way she is, yes indeed. Will I allow her to abuse me the way she did for years, never again, nor will I have my husband fight my battles for me. Example: I attend a family (DH relatives) shower. Arrive with MIL & SIL. We sit down to eat at a very long table full of women. MIL stands up and introduces SIL to several women SIL did not know. I knew a few, but not many. She did not even acknowledge that I was seated in the room. When she was finished her introductions, I stood up and introduced myself as my DH's wife. It got the point across that I am worthy, whether she thinks so or not. I think she also looked badly to the relatives whom I did know who were watching her intentionally ignore me. I am sorry if my examples seem pollyanna, but they have worked for me. I don't feel badly, insecure, hurt or any other adjective that I formerly felt when MIL would descend on my home or when I had to interact with her. I also have never asked my husband to choose to one of us. That would be wrong in my opinion. As much as dislike her, she is his mother, the only mother he will ever have. I wouldn't want to have to choose my husband or my mother, why would I ask DH to do so? The way I deal with this situation is not for everyone. You need to have alot of self-esteem and a bullet proof vest over your heart. It starts with mostly false bravado, which eventually becomes actual bravery.

"Getting a little off topic, but are all house sales by guardians subject to the control of a guardian judge? Or is this a unique situation because of the foreclosure?" Oh - actually, it's part of a Guardianship as set by our particular Judge. It is not related to foreclosure - but the Judge wanted to be quite involved in overseeing the sale. My attorney has insinuated she is unique in her involvement. The original "Order to List and Sale" would have allowed it to be (obviously) listed and sold within the constraints which was identified in the order (i.e. range of sale price). This particular Judge lined out the "and Sale" - thereby giving me authority to list the house, but not sell it. Now, a separate "Order to Sell" needs to be petitioned when a contract is received that meets the list price range. I'm so frustrated by this situation - the house is being sold ASAP due to dwindling funds of the Ward. And, to petition the court for approal to "list and sell" has cost about $1000. By the Judge excluding the "to sell" stipulation, it costs an additional $500 for the additional petition/order. How is this fair? I am trying very hard not to have significant distrust and aversion to attorneys - but between this and some unfair dealing with divorce proceedings (of another family member), I am gaining suspicion of our legal system. Oh - and I hope I wouldn't reap penalty from giving my card number to another employee --- especially it was suggested that I do that by HR for another's travel/lodging reservation! Ha. Off topic --- how do you itallics or quote prior posts?