If you have an annoying dog -- lock it up when I come over
20 years ago
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- 20 years ago
- 20 years ago
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Sad day. I have to give up my new dog..
Comments (18)Melanie, follow your instincts. If this dog is too much for you, then talk to a rescue organization by all means. You have not failed this dog, this dog may have some big, BIG problems that you are not prepared to deal with. JRTs are a great breed, but there is a huge span of personality and temperement in the breed. I know first-hand, because I have had them for many years, but I had to give one up to Russell Rescue due to escalating, terrifyingly violent aggression against my other dogs (including her own mother.) It really came down to the commitment I had made to the oldest dog 12 years ago when I adopted her - I just could not allow the attacks to continue, because one of them was inevitably going to be fatal. We went the whole route when the problems began, from weekly visits from a dog trainer recommended by our vet for aggression problems (with much homework in between visits), to medication (which did not help), to dividing the house with baby gates - with the constant risk that one moment of inattention would launch another savage attack. At one point, the troublemaker was in her crate, and got herself so worked up into a rage that she got the OTHER TWO to start fighting on their own, just by watching her. It really was h*ll on earth for many months. It all came to a head one day when my boss took me into his office, shut the door, and said, "I'm really disappointed in your performance lately." I started crying, and it all came out - living in a war zone - the tension, the stress, the disturbed sleep, the fatigue, the arguments, the guilt, the fear, the disappointment, the injuries to the old dog (a trip to the emergency vet with a torn jugular once, a ripped eyelid another time.) My boss was really understanding, but it all suddenly became crystal-clear to me what this situation was doing to all of us, and I understood that it was time to move on. After much soul-searching, tears, and long talks with my wonderful vet, we were THIS close to putting her down (we had literally dug her grave anticipating taking her in to the vet the next morning), when Rescue called back on a Sunday night with a temporary placement, fully understanding all of the dog's problems. The Rescue people were absolutely terrific. The last I saw of my beloved pup (the dog whose birth I'd witnessed, the dog I thought I'd grow old with) was seeing her sitting on the Rescue person's lap exchanging kisses after a parking lot hand-off. Within a few weeks, they placed her with a family out of state who had experience with the breed, had lost their own aged JRT, had a fully JRT-proof backyard, and fully understood the behavioral problems. Last I heard it was working out great. Like Migo, mine was a fabulous buddy and just adored people, but could not tolerate another dog. Serious aggression between dogs is terrifying and unmistakable - it is NOT playing - not even aggressive playing. Your comment about your other dog screaming gave me chills - I remember that sound so well. Do what you have to do to protect all of the other animals to whom you have made a commitment, and do the best you can by Migo. You're not a failure - everything you've written shows that you are a sensitive and responsible dog-lover, and you need to be strong and do the right thing for everyone concerned. Best of luck, Susan...See MoreI feel like I am annoying you all...but...
Comments (41)KKNY I don't know what to make of you. Of course we don't make the skids 'spy' for us. They brought the subject of smoking up themselves, we usually don't ask about those things (BM's drinking, the smoking - while pregnant of course, and other negative trades). That is because we'd feel bad knowing that the girls would probably feel like defending their mom. So therefore we wait till they volunteer the information and then we might ask what they think about it, or how they feel. The therapist has given us really good advice on how to be supportive of them, and how to adress these kinds of issues without criticizing their mom. However we do ask the girls general questions to show an interest in their other family, which is important for them. Like about their little brother or what they were up to on the weekend? Is that allowed?? Ima already explained it very well. It's about the power of brainwashing,I guess you're not that familiar with it. Like Ima's SD saying it is raining when the sun is clearly shining (that was your post Ima, right?) Also what is the significant difference for you between Stepmom or SO? I'm FDH's SO and stepmom to the skids. They actually started calling me that without my encouragement, they think it's 'cool' and so that's fine with me. You always think that it's the SM's vs the BM's here, and I don't understand why? Surely you're not that shallow to assume all Stepmoms are on the same page and all BM's are on the other? Just because I'm Dutch doesn't mean that I'm on the same page as all other Dutch people, right?...See MoreWhen is it ok to get annoyed?
Comments (14)As a former property manager I dealt with it incessantly- even had the problem myself with newlyweds above me & a squeaky bed. After a month of 30 minute lovemaking at 2:00 A. M. I called to let her listen to a recording of their "activities" & mentioned it awakening us every night. She was shocked, embarrassed & apologetic; the following day DH called me to say a new bed had just been delivered upstairs. Until government intervention, managers could segregate by age, life style....families, singles under 30, over 30, elderly, etc. in defined areas which made for more peaceful conditions for everyone. Once HUD laws went into effect, "Housing Assisted Property" or not, threat of lawsuit (very, very costly to defend) removed that option. Residents like you pay the price by experiencing what you are. This is what I advised residents try first.... Introduce yourself, ask if your normal noise has ever bothered them, invite them to let you know if it should, then tell them that since they seem to be such nice people, you're sure they haven't realized how disturbing their evening, night noise is to you. I never saw a lease that failed to contain a clause mentioning right of enjoyemnt of peace & quiet. If first suggestion doesn't work, you could ask other nearby neighbors if they've been disturbed- if so, ask if they'd be willing to complain to manager too. Managers love & want to retain Good residents...but can't fix a problem of which they're unaware. On my last assignment, a very quiet shy single lady complained about military man w/2 extremely noisy little boys who moved into tri-level townhouse next door to her. I asked if she'd gone over to speak to the Dad about it. She said, "Oh c'mon!! ...do you seriously think I'm going to try to talk to a man who named his kids Remington & Colt?" I went to have a talk with him myself. Good luck! Suzi...See MoreBailey's 5! How time flies when you're picking up after your dog!
Comments (18)What a cutie! Happy birthday, Bailey. Keep amusing your family for years to come!...See More- 20 years ago
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