I didn't even tell anyone in my family when I planned to get married many years ago (we called it off, fortunately). I had never even heard of elopement at the time.

I was married in 1966, and in August of 1965, Frank asked my parents.
I still remember it. It was after Sunday dinner, and my parents were in the kitchen, clearing up and doing the dishes together(as they often did)., when we walked in and Frank asked if he could have their permission to marry me.
My parents laughed, and daddy said "we've been expecting it - of course you can, welcome to our family".
I was just 20, and still lived with my parents.

I kind of get the feeling it's a new fad now as I've heard of this happening rather often, much like the fancy and well-planned proposal. And the requisite (almost) bachelorette party in Vegas. At least around here. A bit over the top for me. Goll, I sound like a crank! Weddings are wonderful, no matter how they come about.

Did you notice the groom wore BROWN shoes in the Eastwood nuptials? What's up with that?

Dh didn't seek permission from my Dad in 1970. I wouldn't have wanted him to, I was an independent career woman of 23.

OTH, our son asked his FIL-to-be for permission when he & DIL became engaged in 1998 after they grad'd college. So I think it happens in some circles & not in others.

His shoes were the first thing I noticed after her dress. :-)

I thought, Oh, well, he's an artist. And it was a rustic wedding.

Most of my friends when I was young had the groom ask the father before the wedding and now most of my friends say their daughter's fiance asked the father first. Perhaps since people are older when they marry now and have been independent for a number of years, and often pay for the wedding, they no longer feel the need to ask the father for the daughter's hand in marriage. I think it is a nice tradition.

"Her husband speaks of asking Clint for permission to marry his daughter. That seems so outdated somehow. How do you feel about it? "

DH spoke to my mom (dad deceased) before he asked me (married 1980).

Our son-in-law spoke to both of us before he asked our daughter - married 2007.
Our son spoke to his future in-laws before he asked - married 2010.

This is the norm in my area, and a very nice tradition.

Very pretty wedding pictures. First I thought, wow, what would it feel like to have Clint Eastwood for a dad?!? Then, I looked through some of the other celebrity's wedding pictures and thought, you know, they are really no different than all the rest of us. They all looked like they were in love and having a happy and sweet wedding. I enjoyed looking at them all.

I was married in 1944, and yes, permission was asked for.

My father was quite the joker, and at the time there was an often heard commercial about Palmolive hand lotion, where they said "Try it for 14 days, and you'll like it, or your money back. "

So when the question was asked, my father said, "Yes, but it won't be on a 14 day trial." We all had a good laugh about that, and never forgot it.

And my father had to go with us to get the marriage license. I was 19, and the wedding was a few days later, on my 20th. birthday.

I love the way "it used to be."

Sue

I like the simplicity of the Eastwood wedding. I didn't even notice the groom's shoes. I love her dress.

So what do you all do if your spouse-to-be's dad doesn't approve?

(my then-gf was orphaned at 11 so wasn't an issue for me - but still even now wouldn't dream of asking my folks' approval or probably even telling them I was married until after it became legal. What would I be supposed to do if they didn't approve of my would-be wife?

The part of the story I want to hear is why people like these two have a traditional wedding. When I went to look her up to see her age (40), I see they've been 'coupled' for about five years.

It seems to me most couples live together for several years before getting married now, which takes some of the fun of a wedding out of the equation, to me.

At least couples who live together have some idea of how compatible they are. Unless you feel strongly about abstaining from sex before marriage (which I don't), I hardly think it affects a wedding to live together before. The wedding is a celebration of marriage: the couple's lifetime commitment to one another. That is, it's supposed to be a lifetime commitment. :-)

My dd lived with her dh while they were engaged...actually even before. They had purchased a condo together. I wasn't thrilled but she was an adult and it wasn't my decision.

She still had a lovely, traditional wedding. I don't see the problem.

Allison's wedding looks lovely too.

Isn't Clint 's ex-wife attractive? The family photograph is beautiful.

Yes, I thought she looked great. In the picture of the table, she and the groom appear to be clinking glasses. I like his expression as he looks at his mother-in-law.

There's living together 'a little while' and there's 'five years'. Makes the formal wedding and asking Pop's permission sound strange to me -- and I wonder "why now"?

Stats say more people who lived together before marriage end up divorced -- or is that another of the "things I think I know"? LOL

Loved that wedding(even though I wasn't invited,lol) , the simplicity of it but still elegant. I wouldn't care what color of shoes he wore...he is so cute, they make a great looking couple. Would also love to have Clint as a F-I-L !!

You ought to check out the groom's website and gallery!

She's a beautiful bride!

Chisue, you *do* know that. Couples who lives together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce than those who don't. This NYT article calls it the "cohabitation effect."

And Clint Eastwood's daughter's wedding was just gorgeous. I like having just a few people, too.

Here is a link that might be useful: Couples who lives together before marriage have a higher rate of divorce than those who don't.

Thanks, Joann. I read the article with interest.

Somehow my brain now comes up with "kibbutz family" -- Non-related people growing up together in a commune whose feelings are so strongly 'sibling' that they wouldn't consider marrying one another. (Another of the many things I think I know! Hah!)

The beautiful, educated DD of friends has had so many consecutive relationships (with really nice, responsible, marriageable guys) that we can't keep the names straight. I kept hoping to hear she was living ALONE for at least a year.

*My* emotions are not suited for this 'trying on' and never were. Jus' diff'rent: Me...and the times.

Didn't ask (future) F I L ... or (future) M I L, either, for that matter, a bit before 1960.

We were married overseas, my Dad and step-mom didn't meet her till almost four years later.

Our marriage lasted about 11 years, Sue never remarried (or had a relationship of substantial depth, as far as I know)..

Now ... daughter was the one who proposed, a bit before 1990.

(If she asked her future F I L/M I L first ... I never heard about it).

Her marriage lasted about 5 years, her husband pulled out, found an alternate spouse, she has been involved with a couple of relationships since, both with fairly pleasant guys.

Son hasn't married, but recently built an increasingly friendly relationship as a result of meeting on internet, that became quite close ...

... and, a while ago, they backed off some.

When they sat me down to tell me (of the latter), son told me later that he was pleased that I didn't jump into the conversation to try to get the relationship patched up.

I told him that I felt that one of my main jobs as a parent was to help and encourage my offspring to become independent, and that I felt that if he wanted my help in such a circumstance, he knew where he needed to go to ask for such.

We come to know more things about our loved ones, even involving rather close-relationship issues, even after many years supposedly related, don't we?

ole joyful

Yes, DH asked my dad. My dad told me before the weddi.g that if i cha.ged my mind it was okay. I didnt. We've been through thick and thin a.d still like to laugh together. Best wishes to the happy couple and i agree with op, lovely wedding.