Thanks, Annie! My friend let me know last night that they're doing a Victorian theme wedding and that he'll be wearing a tux w/ tails! He didn't tell me their colors though. :p Now I'm wondering if I should make a Victorian-style basket, which is typically "frilly", usually flared and highly decorated with fancy handles and rims. Since my friend is a mathematician, I was originally thinking I'd make something more modern with a complex twill pattern that he could appreciate. I guess the next question would be: do I wrap the basket gift?! If not, then I guess a Victorian-style basket makes the most sense. PS: I also thought of just outright asking if they need a basket for anything and make it accordingly ahead of time! (e.g., to use as a money box). However, if they say 'no', then I'm back to square one. lol! This post was edited by party_music50 on Mon, Sep 30, 13 at 8:30

I honestly don't know anything about what would be an appropriate gift in Boston. In fact, as far as Houston (where I've lived my whole life), AFIK there's no "custom" gift. Not that I'm up on all that stuff!! The thing is, I give what I feel comfortable giving rather than trying to figure out what the couple expects or what the local tradition might be. If money is the custom there, they'll already be getting a lot of checks. Why not make your gift one of the few personal items that stand out and get remembered? I have a few quotes below from a very wise person who frequents this forum. See if you can figure out who said all this: When I got married, I did not have enough experience to know what would REALLY come in handy as my family and entertaining needs grew. Even then, I could see the difference between the gifts our peers gave us -- "unique," fun, or short-term stuff (e.g., a bed tray and a subscription to a book review) -- and the things the "grown-ups" got us: serving pieces, carving board, tablecloths, dishes, flatware, etc. We liked and appreciated all of it, but I could see the older generation had the better idea, and theirs are the gifts I am still gratefully using almost 26 years later. Registries tell me colors, styles, etc. I often give a silverplate water pitcher (there's an example of something you don't know you'll need but never have enough of, if you entertain). I look at the couple's registry to decide whether to choose a very simple or more ornate style. Not many young couples need giant serving platters or dishes, flatware, and crystal for 12 or 18. But years later, when they start to take their turn hosting holiday meals and family get-togethers -- for a family that will probably be getting larger -- they are going to need all that stuff -- at least many people do. Twenty-six years ago, I never imagined serving 29 people dinner in my home. But that is what we are doing tomorrow! So even though at the time it seemed like we would never use all the platters, bowls, and pitchers, I have used every one of them many times over the years. The nicest bonus is that every time I use the "boring" items, even all these years later, I think fondly of the person who gave it to me. That is a very lovely experience you don't get if all you get is cash or things you registered for yourself. My favorite gift was a big, fancy silver plate platter from my great aunt. She had received it as a wedding gift when she married into our family in the 1950s. I certainly didn't have occasion to use it much in the early years of our marriage, but I use it all the time now, and I think of her every time I see it. This is probably more a matter of local and ethnic custom than anything else. In many communities the northeast, for example, it seems that cash gifts are so customary that "thing" gifts are unusual (for wedding gifts \-\- these people also often give very large "thing" gifts for engagements and showers). But several posters who live in the south have reported that in their communities cash gifts are considered impersonal to the point of being a no\-no. Both are common here. I prefer to give a "thing" gift, but that's just my preference.

For sure I would look for her registry first. But if she doesn't have one, or if you don't like buying off a registry, I like socks12345's suggestions very much. We got most of those things for our wedding, and we really loved them. Here are some other gifts I have enjoyed receiving and giving: water pitchers, nice grapefruit spoons, and serving spoons and forks. I don't know if this is big enough (it costs about $30), but I just bought the most wonderful little appliance (on the advice of someone at the cooking forum -- thanks, jessy!): a hand (immersion) blender that has a whisk attachment and best of all a mini-food processor attachment. The one I bought is by Braun, but others make them. If that's not quite big enough, perhaps a 3-cup food processor would be a nice gift. Both of those are easily exchangeable by the couple if they don't need them. As for cash, as you can see from a glance through these boards, in some communities, especially in the northeast, cash is by far the most common gift. In others, especially some in the south, cash is considered too impersonal. Individual circumstances can make cash a good or bad choice, too, irrespective of community customs. So we can't tell you whether it is a good choice for this wedding.

Glad you like the pictures! I dyed my hair in a cancer fundraising event we have here annually where you either shave your head or dye your hair an outrageous colour, and I really liked it so it's stayed that way :-) The funny thing is, because I'm inside the hair I forget it's blue until someone stops me in the street or a shop or whatever and says, "Love the hair!"