I smoked for 40 years , now I have COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) this is Emphesema in lay terms along with brochotus. I tried to quit many times over the years .I now have been a non-smoker for 2 years 11 months . I can no longer work ,I am on Oxygen 24/7 .Doing even the simplest things are a real chore ,bathing,shopping ,vacuuming,etc. My quality of life has ben severly diminished and also my longevty .Every day my breathing gets just alittle worse. I feel so terrible that my life is going to end soon and my wife will be alone,that I will not be sharing our childrens and grand childres lives with her.The youngest grand daughter is now 10 months old and the grand son is 6 weeks old. So smoke if you want but be aware you are paying dearly for it. I am 57 yrs old .Why the heck didnt I listen when my 7 th grade Science teacher actually took his time to speak and educate me on the dangers of smoking . I wish all who will try to quit the best of luck and encouage you to use your will power.Dont let a cigarette be stronger than you. Cravings will diminish each day. Hang tough,and dont let a cigarette make you a weakling.

Some very good advice given. Some points to consider: 1. I did a little research just now and discovered there IS an actual sleep disorder called "Shift Work Sleep Disorder". I've provided a link to a website explaining this disorder and HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading it. 2. Men need to feel financially secure. If they aren't then it definitely affects them negatively...leading to depression. 3. Sorry, but men could get pissy with you, but still want nooky after. Women...a man pisses us off, he's banned from touching us for the night. Keeping him sexually happy will help lessen his tension most definitely. Hate to say it, but the #1 thing most guys complain about not getting from their wives is oral. They'd even take bad oral over no oral. Seriously! Also, they're typically even more happy if they don't have to do any *work* themselves. I know, it sounds shallow and selfish, but it is what it is. Just remember, men are VERY visual, simple creatures so remember that when you're thinking of ways to show him you're still attracted. Little notes here and there are nice, but if you want to stir him crazy...do naughty things. lol Maybe webcam him at work with an unexpected quick "flash" or send a naughty text message to his cell phone with or w/o a private naughty pic. Remember: Guys are VERY visual and simple creatures. 4. Women are intuitive, men aren't. We read between the lines and can identify someone's wants & needs MUCH better than men can. Again, remember...simple creatures. Hinting around to something you want doesn't work often. Guys would rather their lady just tell them than having to figure it out and possibly get it wrong. I'm not saying they're STUPID. I'm just saying they like things simple and not complicated. 5. Be super careful with arguing around the children. This is NOT good. Children are VERY perceptive. How they play with others and how they communicate with you and your husband is reflective of your relationship. Its important they see the 2 of you as a team, respecting each other, not correcting or critizing the other. Its important the 2 of you work out your differences in disciplining privately and decide how the 2 of you will handle child conflicts. Additionally, its CRUCIAL that if either parent's method of discipline begins changing into an unhealthy/possibly emotional abusive manner that the person steps away from the situation...aka an adult time-out. JohnnyLee is correct in suggesting you determine a code word/phrase so if one of you gets a bit out of hand, you've BOTH agreed that the person excuse themselves from the situation. This is much healthier for everyone involved. I wish you all the best with your situation. Kindly, Me Here is a link that might be useful: Shift Work Sleep Disorder

Hi loggerbaby, You have LOTS of great responses, & I want to chime in too. After smoking for some 54 years (started when I was 14), about 40 years non-filters, & 2 packs a day for the last few years, I wound up in the hospital for six days last May with a very bad asthma bronchial attack - my first. I had two nicotine patches while there. The doctor said when releasing me that by that time the nicotine was out of my body (I've read that it's gone in 3-4 days). When I got home I knew I could not smoke again - I had been too sick. (Though I LIKED smoking, really resisted quitting & resented having to.) I didn't use anything, but did deep breathing, lots of breathing in & out through my lips, licked my lips a lot, drank lots of water, ate a sack of lemon drops (those help) & got up & did something each time I wanted a cigarette. All of these physical actions helped at the moment. I tried not to think ahead - just took it a day at a time. I'm still not smoking, I'm still firm on not wanting to (in fact, just last week gave away the two cartons of cigarettes that I had when I got sick), but at times still want a cigarette. I've found the desire is pyschological - I'm not wanting the tobacco; it's the action of inhaling or having one with activities: when I'm waiting for something to finish cooking, or when I get in the car, for example. I've also found it is wonderful not to be tied to cigarettes, not to cough & have people remark on it, not to feel like a leper because I smoke, not to have to go outside (especially in the wet or cold) when at friends, not to have to take my DH's scorn & "stuff" he would heap on me. (Funny, though; after 10 years of him not smoking, he started again last October. He sneaks - hasn't admitted he is smoking, but I & others sure can smell it.) Try to realize that the physical feelings will last about a week & that the longer you go without smoking the better you will feel. Physical activities such as walking and/or exercise will help you feel better too. I wish you all the best, loggerbaby, & I KNOW you will be happier & feel better when you stop smoking. BTW, if you want someone to talk with, I'll be glad to call or email you. Kathleen

My husband went through the same thing a few years ago. Not a shift change just a change in responsibilities and expectations at work that were way over his head. He's not a cop but the situation is very similar. He also had mood swings , problems sleeping, he would smoke to relax and have a drink. Lose his temper with his two kids. I mean the same way you described! i would be sitting at the dinner table eating. and if his son didn't eat fast enough or at way too slow after 5 minutes he's be telling him off and nagging him to death to eat his plate. My SS would bow his head , wouldn't enjoy his meal and my husband would be telling him 'well you'll be left alone again cause you are not eating.' It got to the point i got pissed. so one night i turned around during meal time and nagged him. ' oh your not eating those veggies, oh you haven't touched them yet. why haven't you finished. ? its been 5 minutes?...you dont like my cooking? come on hurry up! we've going to miss our program, you eat too slow! what are you a cow? do you have several stomachs to digest? ; well needless to say i got the dirty looks, I smiled and left to clean the dishes. next time he did it again, i told him in front of his kids that i will not have dinner or lunch or breakfast while you badger your son. You have problems deal with them and dont take it out on the kids. This issue was early inthe relationship. So i spoke with him about work and found out his stresses and gave him soem ideas to change. Work finally changed and so did his attitude. Sorry for the long story. But i honestly think that your husband has stress from work. Either a traumatic experience that caused him to change his shift and of course the simple shift change cause sleep deprivation until his body acclimatizes to the time zone. But hes taken up cigarettes...which is not good for his nerves and his daily routine with you have changed. You have to find a middle ground to work together. If he doens't change his shift back to waht he did before you 'll need to make new time together. Some couciling is a good idea. As well, if he did go through a traumatic experience then your husband definetly needs counciling.