It sounds to me that your husband's comment was less about YOU and more about how to get the most out of your exercising. I say that because he suggested P90x, which is the dvd set that is often thought to be the "gold" standard that gets excellent results (or in your husband's words, whistle inducing results). You responded that you were too old for the whistles, and your husband basically said that age doesn't matter if the body is "perfect." Maybe it was his use of perfect that offended, but I would take his comments more just to mean that if you are serious about exercising, why waste your time on the lesser exercise systems--and instead just go for the gold.

Still going through over 20 pgs of small-type print, but I wanted to drop in to clarify a couple of points really fast. 1) DD has no "problems" socially. She tells me often about how people react with disbelief at the fact that 1) she's really smart even though she wears mascara and straightens her hair (quiet laughter on my part here--such a HUGE change from last year!) and 2) she homeschooled up until last year, because she 'seems so normal' (makes her laugh every time). We learned through our years of homeschooling that stereotypes are powerful and can be powerfully misleading, and often say more about the person who's making the assumptions than they do about the person who's being stereotyped. She's made many people reconsider their stereotypes and pigeonholes. It's eerie how quickly and easily she slid into complete comfort at this mega-size school, but I give lots of credit not only to her but to the atmosphere the school creates - so far, people seem to fall over themselves to say sweet, supportive things to each other. She's got a wide circle of social friends and a good tight circle of close friends. She's got no fear at all, and is happy being id'd as a 'music nerd' since the music program at the school is big and high-profile. In fact, the one time some of the 'popular' girls tried to do a 'mean girls' thing to her in science class, she laughed at them and acted it right back at them (at least I did my homework preparing her by having her read all the 'Reviving Ophelia' and Queen Bee' -type books--thanks, Amy!!) so hilariously that they ended up inviting her to their table and have become good friends (I've seen it corroborated when I pick her up from things). Those aren't the kids she prefers to hang out with, but I mention it to show that she's got social skills that people may not associate with the stereotypical 'homeschooler'. Our world-learning wasn't stereotypical, either -- I hardly taught her anything, actually -- I was more like the concierge who found resources to facilitate her exploring her interests, and chauffeur to her various classes/activities. She's also comfortable being in advanced classes, has no problem with it, and she'll be doing AP classes next year and IB after that, and there are always options to take more advanced math at a local CC or state U. My only problem is that she's now letting the institution determine how curious she is about something--if she does enough to meet an assignment, she's done. No more investigating something for its own sake. It's *sad* to watch that really exciting drive in her life extinct itself (or more hopefully, go dormant). Which leads me to 2) A couple of years ago, I started volunteering solidly back in my field, and I'm gearing up to try to find paying work in it, albeit at a much lower level than before. I love what I do, I'm *thrilled* to be back in it, and I'm seriously not a stereotypical 'helicopter' mom. So not. Since she was about 10, I've actually tried not to be too involved, so she can have her own space in her activities. A somewhat extreme example: DD keeps asking me to be an orchestra-mum in the city orchestra she's in (you sit through all rehearsals and do volunteer work), but I just won't do it. The vast majority of those are stage-moms who make my skin crawl--the ones I think I talked about in another thread who seem to think that nonstop bragging is the highest form of conversation, and I don't want to be around them because they feel toxic to me. I want to relate to her orchestra in a positive way without all the drama. So I take her there and pick her up but don't prostrate myself before the altar of the conductor. We did arrange to have DH's company match our donation to this group, though -- the first time an employee had donated to the group at all, which is really strange, considering my DH's company's dominant position in the area. So we give in the way we feel most comfortable without hovering or pushing. I'll let moms who want to do that have the face time with the conductor. So I hope these further details maybe clarify some vaguenesses or misconceptions. I also hope you all know how unbelievably much your thoughts and support, and individual stories you've shared mean to me and my DH. He's reading the printout too and we'll have more specific thoughts later. The folks who come to this forum are gems, every one. And beyond that, the web is phenomenal, and not at all just a replacement for RL relationships; as you have pointed out, it offers opportunities and resources that RL just can't, sometimes. Anyway, I lerve you all : ) (oh, and the Greece thing -- I realize it may sound like she was sitting in a closet coming up with plans for the world, but it was actually for Model UN and is documented in her position papers as Greece's "Environmental Minister" (LOL) from last year. She actively participated in MUN with her resource center's team last year even though she was only an '8th grader', but this year at the huge/high school, MUN is overenrolled, so only Juniors and Seniors actually get to go to the event. There's an example of a very tangible difference in activities/involvements available to homeschoolers and to public schoolers...: ()

Also, just FYI, it is typically that a symmetrical layout is not a functional one, and vice versa. For example, this is a very common symmetrical layout with the sink and range both centered and lined up: This causes two problems: 1) The counters are all chopped up into small pieces. If you look, all the stretches of counter you have to work on in this kitchen are roughly 2' wide. That would be IMMENSELY frustrating to get anything done on. On any given counter, if you center your range/sink, it divides the counter on either side into two small pieces. Whereas if you place the range/sink off-center, you get one longer stretch of counter and one shorter stretch. This latter situation is WAY more functional because you can actually get something done on the longer stretch. 2) The sink and range are directly back-to-back. This means a person at the sink will be bumping into a person at the range, and both will be crowding each other. When the sink and range are staggered in the kitchen, a person at the sink and a person at the range will not be in each other's way. It's not as if you can't have some things centered or lined up in a kitchen, but you will curse perfect symmetry any time you try to DO anything. You might need to have a talk with your husband about maybe getting his symmetrical kicks in from other parts of the house where it is not at the expense of function.

Thank you, everyone, for being so helpful and mindful of my daughters limitations and needs! I think the room already feels much better than it did. In fact, I've noticed Celeste's little sisters on the bed with her watching tv with her, which tells me the placement is much more comfortable for everyone! I can't wait until I can paint and put up some wall art. Maybe some curtains, a rug. Though I'm saving up for a 9x11 so it might be a while :) Her room was always very inviting, and I hate that it feels cold and sterile right now! K sissy, in about 2 months those doors will be gone :) One is to the garage and one is to her closet which will be extended to fit her roll in shower. The bathroom is on the other side of that wall and it will be extended back. bpathome, your suggestion of flipping the room placement makes sense. Maybe after the bath is completed and I paint I will do it :)