I have one where one end goes around my son's wrist and the other around my wrist. I use it when we water the flowers out front because we live on a pretty busy residential street. I'd rather be safe than sorry.

I'm sure there are good reasons when a parent uses a harness for an older child.

I didn't read all the posts but I feel if you need a harness to keep track of your kids, then maybe you shouldn't have kids. Hold their hands. If they can't sit still at 5, they are going to have a heck of a time in school.

I would suggest reading the posts before making such a 'blanket' statement such as that.

And I would suggest anyone that makes such harsh comments, especially when they have not read all the post should not have kids beacuse they would set a horrible example

Kelli - People should not have children if they plan to use harnesses? Nobody 'plans' to use them. Where is your logic?

So sorry, I have seen tonnes of people in the mall with harness. Not watching their children and getting tangled up.
As far as group harnesses, I would never put my child in a preschool/daycare that did not have a safe parent/child ratio for outings.
I have 2 very active children and never used a harness. They know they have to stay near me, my youngest is always holding my hand. If they don't stay with me, we leave.
I feel if you use a harness, you don't teach the child anything. This is my opinion.

I would like to point a few things out about holding a young child's hand.For one, I have a friend in the medical field,he tells me he sees quite a few people with young childern who have dislocated the child's arm.When asked how it happend,they say they were just walking holding hands when the child tripped or tried to run.The child's arm twisted and it was pulled out.And they are always surprised at how fast and easy it happend.I have seen this many times my self.Parents who have childern in hand and the child's arm twisted because they were pulling them up a curb or pulling them back from a run or whatever.One other point childern like to be able to use thier hands to explore.With a harness you still have them linked to you and they are free to use both hands.

No one I know uses a harness and none of their children have had dislocated body parts due to hand holding.
I think if children have both hands free to explore, chances are they will find something they aren't supposed to touch. I personally know someone who almost got his finger cut off because his mom wasn't watching where his hands were.

Kelli,

My BIL dislocated his shoulder TWICE as a kid this way.

Keli--read my other post--I use a leash on my 21 yr old autistic child--if I didnt we would never go anywhere-- itis very dangerous for him if we dont--he is a runner--he doesnt talk--if he got lost what then--we use it for his own safty--dont make blanket statements you know nothing of!!

I know of 2 children who have dislocated their elbows that way, when it happens to the elbow it is called nursemaids elbow and is very common.

All I said was "I" didn't know anyone that had harmed their child by holding their hands. As for Charity's autistic child, that is completely different. My friend also has an autistic child, although mildly, she is not on a leash, but as you said your child was a runner, my friend's is not. My opinion is my own, obviously. I would not put my child on a leash, my dog, yes, my child, no.

As far as the hand holding thing, I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old and if we go somewhere - walking into a store for example, my DH carries the baby and I hold the 2 year old's hand. There are times when he says "ow mommy" because I am holding his hand too tight, or I feel like I am going to twist his arm off b/c he spins around to look at another kid or a car coming. We usually use our double stroller if we go anywhere, but I can certainly see why a harness would come in handy, especially if you are out w/ more than one kid alone!

If you think about it, isn't a parent's hand just a shorter leash? Don't get me wrong, I love holding my 2-year old son's hand or holding him in my arms, but sometimes he doesn't want that. Childhood is a time of learning to be independent and free-thinking. I would ruin that (and undermine my child's growth and self-esteem) if I forced him to stay constantly pinned to my side. One of the wonderful things about toddlers is their curiosity to explore and discover the world around them. If I were to tether him to my side or in a stroller all the time, then I would squash that wonderful curiosity. If you ask me, harnesses actually give children freedom. And it gives parents peace of mind. It's a wonderful balance between what the parent wants and what the child wants. Isn't that what parenting is all about?

I have been noticing lately, due to this post, people who have their children on harnesses. The parents aren't really watching their child. They know the child can't go anywhere but the child on the leash is touching things and getting in to trouble and the parent just lets it happen. The children run ahead and cut people off and the leash gets in the way. I haven't seen anyone use the leash responsibly. I guess to me it is like those long retractable leashes dog owners use so they can walk on the side walk while their dog does his job in everyone's yards.

I have a harness for my both 7 years old twin daugthers that I use each time we go shopping.
It's for their safety, not because I don't want to watch them.

If a parent chooses to use a harness it's no one else's business. If parents use them to be able to NOT watch their own children then that's their problem. It all boils down to a safety issue. If there are parents who won't watch their own kids then the harness is probably a good idea in one respect. I think in this day and age where kidnapping, etc are all around a harness on a small or disabled child is a godsend otherwise we would all end up locking ourselves in our homes or doing nothing but watching every step our children take for fear they will be snatched away or put into danger by their curiousity.
To each his own on what parents think is best for their own children.

We have 2 kids. Blake who is 14, and Brandyn who is 13. We have seen the child harnesses (like the one at www.dandeecorp.com), and would never use one of these on any of our kids.

When we are out somewhere, we like to keep our kids with us; so if we are at a grocery store, my husband and I each take a shopping cart, and we put Blake in the seat on one, and Brandyn in the seat of the other one. We have also purchased a Baby Jogger Twinner II stroller a few years ago, and have been using that when we are in a store that does not have shopping carts, or if only one of us is out with the kids. The Baby Jogger is the perfect stroller for older kids. It has large, comfortable seats, and also has 5 point harnesses (2 shoulder straps, a waist strap, and a strap that goes between their legs).

Blake is very cooperative, and as soon as we get the stroller out of the trunk, he will jump in, and strap himself in, and I just pull his harness tight on him. Although he can strap himself in, he cannot unfasten the harness, which is a great thing! Brandyn, on the other hand, has to be picked up, sat in the stroller, and held in the seat until the harness is fastened on him. He was always getting out of the last stroller that we had, but once he is strapped in the Twinner, he cant get out.

I think that you should get a stroller for your 8 year old instead of a leash/harness.

Wow, what a loaded topic! I used a harness for my 2 year old son when we went out to the mall which was rare. At the same time I had my infant daughter to take care of as well. My son is ADHD and was always very lively, he would run and hide under the clothes racks, etc. He seemed to like his harness and would kind of lean on it and rest sometimes. He never fought me when I put it on him. I tried the wrist tether but he hated it because he liked having his hands free.

My husband NEVER shopped with me, hated it. Leaving the children with him when they were little just invited disaster. The house would be totaled when I got home because he would let them do anything they wanted and no one cleaned up. I took the kids with me out of self defense. I had a double stroller but it was just too big to use in stores.

My daughter rarely strayed from my side so she never needed the harness and I never even considered it for her. Different kids, different needs. The harness was never a punitive thing, in fact the only time it was in use was to go someplace fun like the mall so I expect that it had a positive association attached to it.

Now I'm confused... you use a stroller for 13 and 14 year old kids? How exactly is that any better than a harness?

the post about a 13 and 14 yr old in a stroller has to be a joke. I know I had a hard time finding a stroller that will hold a child over 40 lbs so I seriously doubt that there is one out there that would hold 2 teenage boys. I also doubt that any teenage boy would sit in a stroller. If it is true then it is very said that those 2 boys are being abused in such a way.

A "stroller" for a 13-14 year old would cease to be a stroller, I think. Calling it a wheelchair would be more appropriate.

Sha lyn, I wondered if that poster left out information about her sons' disabilities that would have explained why they are still in a stroller.

Talley Sue... if her sons were disabled don't you think they would be in a wheel chair?
Like I said before I really think it is a joke since they do not even make strollers that would hold one much less 2 teenagers. The only other thing I can think of is that she did not mean 13 and 14 but that she has one 4 yr old and one 3 yr old. She also said she puts them is the grocery carts. Still if she really only made a msitake and doesn't have teenagers wouldn't she correct the mistake?

13 AND 14? That just does not seem right. I have an 8 year old daughter, and a 10 year old son, and they have not rode in a stroller every time that we would go out since they were 3. Even at age 3, they knew how to unfasten the straps, and climb out.

I also could not picture a 14 year old in a grocery cart. Sometimes when we are at the store, my 10 year old will want to ride in the cart so he can play his Game Boy while I shop. He is small for his age, only weighing about 50 Lbs, and his legs barely fit through the leg holes on the cart. I do not know how a 14 year old could even come close to fitting in those small seats.

I would have to believe that it is either a typing mistake (she may have ment 1-3 year old (as in one 3 year old) and the same for 1-4 year old).

Hi.
I don't have an opinion here nor there since my children are not "harness-aged", and I mean no disrepect to parents of children with disabilities but . . . . .
whenever I read these posts I just keep thinking of that Saturday Night Live episode with Mike Myers portraying a hyperactive child. He is in a harness chained to the jungle gym. In the skit he states that "one time, the car broke down so my mom gave me a Coke and a Snickers and I towed it home!"
I'll probably take some heat for this but I'm sure some will appreciate!

Beaner, I saw that skit. It was hilarious. My brother (now almost 32) was a hyperactive child, and so were many of my friends. We see the humor and are not offended.
I agree with what was said before about different children having different needs. My mother sometimes wishes she had had a harness for my oldest brother because he was ADHD, had no fear, and just loved to run off to other people. Even today, he loves to strike up a friendly conversation with anyone he sees. He was kept under control once he was told to hold hands with my other brother (now 30) who wouldn't leave mom's side. Then, when I came along (I'm 23), I wasn't the type that was comfortable if mom or dad weren't in my sight. Plus, I had 2 older brothers watching.
It all depends on the child. To each his own.

The 13 and 14 year old story IS a joke! For one reason you could never get a 13 or 14 year old to sit in a seat and stay. And for another they would not fit in a seat made for young children :o)
The person that wrote about the 13 and 14 year old said nothing about the boys having any sort of disabilities.

I'm wondering if these kids are maybe 13 and 14 months old.

I think she was pretty clear on the ages 13 and 14... I am wondering if she meant when they were smaller that is what she used but her wording seems to indicate she means that she uses them now. It could be just a fake post though too. Unless they are disabled there is no reason to have a 13 or 14 year old is a stroller.

I think it is 13 & 14 years old, because first when you have children, or they are the same age, or their is at least 9 months between them.

Strollers for children that old exist. Look at the link.

I've already seen a 12 or 13 years old child with a broken leg, harnessed in this stroller with the 5 points harness

Here is a link that might be useful: maclaren major 2000

Well, if she was serious about them being 13 or 14 years old, it seems that she would have pointed out that there was a special reason for the kids to be in the stroller - I mean, what are the chances that BOTH boys had broken legs and were harnessed in a stroller? If such a case existed, I'm pretty sure the parent would have said why the boys were harnessed in it.

As far as the boys being 13 and 14 months, unless one of them was adopted it seems kinda fishy to me too. I think the poster was just trying to put one over on everyone.

Pam

french_papa that link you posted clearly stated it is designed for children with special needs. Remember she also said both children ride in the seats in shopping carts. This would be impossible for a teenager to do unless they were very small due to health problems, dwarfism (sp?) or something like that.

Yes! As a mother of a disabled child that has trouble staying with an adult this is wonderful!! If you have never had one like this you don't know what us that do have go through. The prices that we have to pay for these type of children are really high and it is hard to find things like these. I'm so thankful that there are those that do thank of us that have these type of kids to love. Yes, we teach them to walk and stay close by but some of these kids don't understand everything no matter how old they are. As one person has said, don't say anything unless you have walked a "mile" in our shoes. You can't group everyone in one pile and say that because we have to use these type of items we are bad parents. We know our child and know that for their safety and others these type of things are needed.

c'mon... why bring up a post that is SEVEN YEARS OLD?

My neighbor had a harness for her son. He was 'wild'. At age 6, he wriggled out of his booster seat/seat belt and crawled to the front of the car and started yanking on the stick shift--while she was going 65 down I75.

Another time, he was cooking dinner and thought he was watching tv in the next room, until a neighbor called saying her son was on the roof.

He'd also run in parking lots and there were a number of near misses. She always had trouble putting groceries in the car. If she put kept him by her side, he'd run off; if she had him put the bags in the car, he'd spill one and run off; if she put him in first, he'd wriggle out of the car and run off. Not to be malicious, just to be funny, it was a game.

SHe got a harness.

A year or so later, he was screened for lead poisoning. He was off the charts in danger so full of lead was his brain. They have no idea how he got it in a middle class Richmond VA suburb, his sister was clean, but he was full of lead. He had blood chelation. It helped.

The harness likely kept him alive. It certainly saved his mother's sanity.

I have a 10 year old son that is very determined to explore by running off. He is autistic and very curious and very fast. He is also hard to keep next to you. Recently he got away from me and I had the whole store looking for him, the police found him at a McDonald restaurant with his shoes off and coat off 4 blocks away. He was only out of my site for a moment and was able to get away and do his thing very quickly.
I know this sounds very bad on my part, but I am a responsible parent and take good care of him I was frantic and in tears that he had disappeared so quickly! I found this site when I searched for a harness to fit him. But now I see that some people think that it just is not necessary and is cruel and inhumane, but it will keep him alive and safe next to me. He is forceful and determined and now that he is older I see no other solution to the problem other then daycare and too me daycare will take a necessary life experience away from him and isolate him even more so I struggle with that idea, but want the best for him. Writing on his T-Shirt my cell phone number and to call me if seen by himself was another solution I thought of, but I fear this would be a creep magnet. So far the leash is the best option that I can tell.

I have a 5 year old autistic son. I think harnesses for children with special needs, and children who are runners are wondeful. My son has gotten away from me three times. Everyone of those times I had been holding his hand. One was when I was walking him out to the car, one was at the park and one was in CVS. Do you have any idea how heartbreaking it is to not even be able to take your child to the park to play or to the zoo or anywhere else for that matter because if you let go of him for a even second he will bolt? If you have ever been around an sutistic child you know how strong and fast they are. My son does not understand, "stop and wait". To make matters worse, I have a bad leg so I can not run after him. If anyone ever makes any ugly comments to me about using a harness on my son, I ask them if they have ever raised an autistic child. These are the same people who blame parents when an autistic or special needs child gets hurt or lost. If you have never had to use a harness on your child, then count youself lucky. Some of us gave birth to children aren't perfectly developed. I am sorry. I am just so sick of people who are so judgemental. Each one of you should be made to be incharge of a special needs child for a week 24/7. I am sure you will change your opionion on how hard it is for some people to raise their child and keep them safe. Get off your high horses people.

It's so easy for someone who doesn't have a child with special needs, especially autism, to be so judgemental. I read someone's post that commented, "how about just holding their hand and not being distracted" What? You can be holding their hand, not be distracted and they can easily pull away from you, especially if they are older and they are not aware or have understanding of how this could be dangerous for them. Some children with autism, no matter how bright they are, and they are bright, have low impulse control, no natural fear of getting hurt and if they are older and strong, can easily escape their parents grasp of their hand. I know, my son has done it before. I am taking him to Disney and I don't care how many people stare at me for having a harness on him. I would rather have that, have us both enjoy our time, then he be lost, snatched or dead because he got into some machinery there. Read the news and see how many kids with autism are wandering risks and then be judgemental about how parents with special needs kids do these things to keep their kids safe.

A 7 year old autistic boy just wandered off into the woods in my area this weekend, when his dad turned his back on him for a few seconds when they were in their back yard. Luckily there was a massive manhunt and they found him the next morning, cold and wet in 50 degree weather, but otherwise OK.

While I think the concept of a "child harness" is absolutely insane for a non special-needs kid, hey who are we to tell anyone with an autistic child how to keep their child safe? I can only imagine how hard it must be, without having uninformed people passing judgement on you for something they have no freaking clue about.

For a kid without special needs (autism, extreme ADHD, lead poisoning), I think using a harness may qualify as lazy or paranoid. Children without special needs can (and need to) learn how to control their own behavior to the point where they can be safely taken to a variety of ordinary public places.

But like Mkroopy said -- Kids with special needs are a whole 'nother ballgame. Fortunately, my autistic son was not a runner; and my ADHD son was a low-risk kid who never strayed far. But for those kids who *are* runners -- and I've seen more than a few -- a harness is about the only way (certainly the most humane way) to take these kids anywhere.

And 'lazy' is a word that simply has no place in the vocabulary of a special needs parent. We might *dearly want* to be lazy for an afternoon, but we know it will never, ever be possible...

I Just have to say, after reading some of these comments, I'm surprised at some of you mothers on here. I am a mother of 3 kids; one of which is SEVERELY MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY DISABLED! While my husband and I spend 95% of the day fighting to keep this boy contained, it is with great difficulty. He also happens to have REALITY DISTORTION! For those who don't know what that means, it means at any given moment, he slips off into a completely different world. He Will NEVER be able to be left alone. We have done very well at keeping him close for 9years, but this summer, we plan to renew our vows by a large river. As any parent with an also autistic child knows, they Will do anything to get to That water. For the first time, we plan to use a child safety harness in order to allow our child to enjoy the festivities without the worry of him floating down the river. So please, before you go telling someone how much of a horrible parent they are for using these, I challenge you to spend a week with a special needs child and tell me if you feel the same way. These devices have been created to give them more freedom while keeping them as safe as possible. Thank you

My son also as autism and it is very hard to keep him confined to a spot while on a bus or in a public place... Using a harness for him at 6 gives him more of an idea where he needs to be. without it, he wouldnt know

Some of the comments reminds me of all the ignorance special needs children and parents have to deal with on a daily basis. Ugh. It's so frustrating and discouraging in this day to have those who still judge and aren't aware of how belittling and hurtful their ignorance can be for those already struggling through each day.

I can guarantee that if you decide to spew your venomous attitude to me when out with my 2 autistic children, one wearing a harness, you should be prepared for my backlash as well.

Honestly, I used to be very judgemental of the parents of harnessed children until I had to travel through a busy international airport with luggage and a healthy 4 year old. I have never judged them again. Even a healthy non disabled child can get away from you. Checking your luggage, unloading your car, paying for your groceries, washing your hands in a public bathroom. There are moments when you will let go of that child's hand. I personally know of a case where someone reached up with two hands and grabbed something heavy off of a shelf in a store and someone just that quick grabbed her child. Fortunately the store went immediately on lock down and they got her child back, but I don't judge anymore. And what if you have more than one child. It is like no one on this board has ever stopped to tie one child's shoe or wipe one child's nose. Harness your kid if it gives you piece of mind and ya'll don't be so judgemental.

Some parents want to give their special needs children a chance to experience new adventures in life, with limited risk. A harness is a very useful thing when you are teaching a special needs individual how to ski. It is not a control thing it is a limiting thing. And many special needs individuals benefit from having the danger factor controlled by someone on the other end of a tether. Just because YOU would never do it, doesn't mean it doesn't need to be done.

I know this is an old feed but I’m at my wits end with my 2 girls and as of today I’m considering buying a harness for each one. It’s not fun taking them out, they don’t listen, they don’t hold my hand, they don’t stay with me, they don’t follow rules and I’m tired of continuously yelling at them to do so. Today, my 2 year old fell off a fence she was trying to climb because she and her sister won’t listen with me. I wasn’t this way as a child, all i needed was ‘the look’ and I knew what to do and what not to do. Anway, I just don’t know what else to do, I’ve tried everything. It’s either that or I buy a double stroller and they won’t be allowed out, or we don’t leave the house anymore. The little one is 2 1/2, the older one is 5, and yes she knows better she just doesn’t care to.

In the short term, you need harnesses. In the longer term, you need parenting lessons from a qualified counsellor. If they don't listen now, it's only going to get worse as they get older. You need to get on top of this before it gets completely out of hand.

I started looking for a harness the day my toddler slipped away and ran to the stair railing on the second floor of the mall. I know these railings are required to be safe, but my child was small for her age and I was scared out of my wits.

This thread is so old that the OP's toddler is probably off to college now ;-)