Fine Paints of Europe has a product called brushing putty that might work. It is a primer that fills in wood grain, like oak, and conceals minor nicks and dents. I've never used it, but there are posts and pictures on this site from people who have used it...and from the photos, it looks like it creates a smooth surface.

There is a post that gave tips on application, sanding, it also includes some photos. Type "brushing putty" into the search box for this paint forum to find the thread from jeannema. Sorry, I don't know how to copy the link to this post.

I will warn you--the brushing putty is very expensive! Everything from Fine Paints of Europe is expensive.

You can get more info about their product at:

http://www.finepaintsofeurope.com/brushing_putty.aspx#description

Thank you so much! That does sound like what we were all trying to figure out - what could we "fill" it with and then sand smooth.

The trim rep has offered to refund all our money for the trim - so hopefully that will go a long way toward paying for this product. She made a good margin on our door and hardware order so to preserve a good recommendation I think we can probably work something out to get this paid for.