Mom is in denial it is her. Like all addicts with mental problems she believes its the world ganging up on her. It is a terrible situation that is going to cost us alot financialy and emotionaly. I think the reason for me breaking down tonight is Im spread more thin than normal with all of this that is going on. Dad wont let the girls leave with her unattended but it is going to be awhile untill we can get money for the lawyer (5 grand for holding) and untill then we are going to have the battle royale with her every weekend when she tries to pick them up. Good times indeed. There are mental issues (attempted suicide), drugs, and a current domestic incident with her boyfriend. The girls were there and one of them got hit with a strand off a bead curtain when the BF snatched it down....all reasons this decision has been made. We are both so stressed. We feel bad that mom has issues and I hate keeping her from her kids but the situation has become way too volatile. The girls are going to be very upset as well. They dont understand that mommy is "sick". Its just a real hard situation. Thats why dad HAS GOT to go to work and we havent been seeing him. He is physicaly and emotionaly pooped and so am I. Miraculously we havent been short with each other. I guess that says alot for our relationship that even under extreme stress we manage to remain tight. Thats one positive way to look at it I suppose:)

Ugh, your post is so upsetting! I don't think I could have took all the baiting going on all day like that. Plus it was your party that your MIL chose to crash & act up at. But, that's not the real issue. I've followed your life story on the other board. I feel so bad that this is happening to you when it seems your were pretty much expected to parent SD and deal with all the tough stuff and get not even basic respect in return. It seems like it is just not worth it. It's too hard in situations like this. If your DH won't nix his dear mothers nasty behaviors & insist she treat you with respect, you're stuck with her & her reign of terror. I know how awful that can be. I wondered how things would have went down if you insisted she leave your home/the party. Try confronting her on her nastiness every time to her face no matter who is there and see what happens. Bullies hate to be confronted. Bleh.. I'm so sorry. ~Cat

any chance there are any witnesses? neighbors? camera's on nearby businesses? Without 'proof', not much can be done unless he (or someoen else) confronts her and she admits it. Oh, and whoever confronts her should not say "did you slash the tires?" but should ask "what were you thinking when you slashed the tires?" or "Why would you slash the GF's tires, she has nothing to do with this?" Those questions will likely produce her justification or excuse if she really did it, which is somewhat of a confession. An innocent person would be shocked and completely deny doing it. and don't get too confrontational, saying "I know you did it!" will result in defensiveness. Or is there anyone that is uninvolved in their custody battle that is at all friendly with her? Maybe that person could talk to her and get her to confide/confess. When a person does something like that out of anger, unless they get the anger out of their system, they will continue to vent and if they find someone they think will be a good sounding board, they'll talk about it. Her frustration and anger are understandable, but she also put herself (and her kids) in that position with her actions and even though she might have the right to be angry, she should be angry at herself and it's never okay to destroy someone else's property. Was he given a restraining order? Maybe he can prove she violated it, even if he can't prove she slashed the tires.

hyles - I know exactly how you feel. My situation is a little different. Almost a year ago, we had a meeting with my SS17, DH, BioMom and her husband because son had stayed out all night, two nights in a row. He stated at our meeting that he didn't like me, didn't like my stupid rules, didn't want to live here because of me, and wanted dad to choose. At that point, he had racked up a DUI at age 16, and was extremely argumentitive and rebellious. We let him go live with his mom, that's what he said he wanted. Well, the very next day, he called to see if he could spend the night at our house, because it wasn't going to be convenient for BioMom to take him to school. I had no problem with that. What I did have a problem with was son showing up after school, with friends no less, to hang out at our house. We have a swimming pool, big screen television and fully stocked fridge. DH works out of town during the week, so he wasn't home, and our other kids weren't home from school yet. So they only person home was me, the one he dislikes so much. I told him, and DH, that when DH was home, son would be welcome to be here, but when DH was out of town, son could not just drop by as he pleased. Son thought I was being mean and unfair, but I told him the consequence of telling someone you don't like them is that you're not going to be welcome in their home. After a long and tragic story, SS is back living with us. So it has kind of worked out in the end.