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my adult daughter doesn't want to bother with us

10 years ago

My adult daughter who was married two years ago and has a 9 month old daughter is always arguing with us when she comes over. We have advised her of keeping her daughter warm arriving in 17 degree weather with no jacket or hat .She started saying I'm just going to the car but all we wanted was to keep her daughter warm. Each time any thing that is said to her about taking care of her daughter she gets very defensive and angry which makes us feel incompetitent .Ever since she met her now husband she's a different person they never came to the house as a couple before getting married ,after or now that they have a daughter .My husband resented the fact that her now husband never bothered with visiting us and feels he doesn't even know this man that married our daughter I feel the same and have told my daughter that this whole mess of you guys not visiting all the years 8 now has made this relationship nothing really .Her husband now says he'll never come over and has never made an effort all the years prior to come over. We have fault (my husband mostly calling names saying he's lazy they have a house never moves firewood in house leaves never raked lawn never mowed and never making an effort to come see us I'm sure the names didn't help(he would only say this to my daughter and she tells everything to her husband to make matters worse.Now they have a daughter and when my daughter was expecting she threatened that we wouldn't see our granddaughter if we didn't change.I was so hurt and she won't let me watch our granddaughter because we have a dog. I'm retired and at home I told her you make me feel like a irreresponsible teenager I've always been over protective so yuou can imagine me with a new baby.But instead her father in law watches the baby 3 days a week and we only see her a few hrs on Wed. and Sat. but that even started getting less and less.When I suggested bringing her by on a Friday she said "no"i'm not leaving an hr earlier to bring her over No effort when it comes to our side of the family.We even went over one sat to ask her husband what the problem was and apologize for the names and start with a clean slate but he said he never came around because he worked .Said he didn't not like us.I don't get what that means.I cry several times adayI miss my granddaughter and called the other day to say hi my daughter said I couldn't speak to the baby I called back and as usual started crying my daughter said I said I was done with this game of you not talking to me and then think you can call up and speak with my daughter.I said it takes to of us youy never called either She said I told you I was done with this game of not picking up the phone and I told her you say horrible things and I tell you I;m tired of being treated like crap and you don't say Sorry or anything I don't know how I'm suppose to feel except hurt.I goes back and forth blaming and I know that's wrong and then I apologize but then she says something hurtful and I just can't talk.The conversation the other day ended by my daughter saying go get you little book and write down everything I'm saying.I felt so hurt and asked what do you mean she said nothing I said I guess this conversation is over .If my mom years ago said I was treating her like crap I would be over to the house so fast and apologizing but thta's not happening here I'm so sad I

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