What about a downdraft?

I don't know if this is okay, but maybe you can do something a long the lines of the bathroom fan. Before we remodled the only vent in the kitchen was basically a vintage (from the 60's) looking fan that was in the ceiling above the stove. It looked like a fan that would be in the bathroom.

How about grease and smoke all over your kitchen :-)

No grease or smoke in my kitchen!! There isn't that much cooking going on there!

What is it you hate about range hoods? The look? There are ones that practically disappear nowadays, including some that push in and you only pull them out when they're in use.

Are you trying to eliminate all uppers and just have a blank wall? Is it an exterior wall, or is there a chimney for the hood?

Because if I understand correctly you already have a hood, which implies some ducting, and just want to get rid of it.

Are you aware that a lot of new hoods are very quiet?

Having no cooking ventilation in your kitchen devalues your house, but there are a lot of things you could do to minimize the appearance depending on what the situation is.

Well, Miele does a range hood that doesn't look like a traditional hood

Then there's this from Zephyr -- rather art-like

There's also the Broan Hide-Away that looks like cabinetry. It turns on when you pull it out

{{!gwi}}

And finally, GE makes a slide-out ventilator thats practically invisible when it's in the off position.

{{!gwi}}

Maybe one of those would suit?

Here is what I am getting:
GE Profile(TM) 30" Telescopic Downdraft System

My cooktop will be on the island. I'm not a fan of big exhaust fans either.

I know that the Telescopic Downdraft Systems are not praised on here as being as effective as the regular hood type - but I'm just taking my chances that it will be effective "enough".

Here is a link that might be useful: Downdraft I am getting

I don't understand-- if you hate the look, you just need to keep looking: a hood can look just like your cabs, like the bridge of starship Enterprise or artifact from a medieval blacksmith; like a 17th century French fireplace or a Beux Art copper cupola; like a 50's American car swathed with chrome and color...

If you hate the functionality, noise, cleaning, it seems like your not cooking solution would work pretty well.

If you are asking for suggestions as to what to replace it with, I'm at a loss: maybe some apothecary type drawers for takeout menus? If I removed my range hood, I'd remove the range, too. Or, like a retired friend of mine, use the oven to store wrapping paper.

Yeah, I'm with Oruboris. I don't understand the question. You want to remove the range hood. Okay it is your kitchen, you can do that. You want a "substitute"? A substitute WHAT?? You can not have anything over the cooktop if you don't want! Or you can have all cabinets. Or art work. Heck hang a chair up there or your wine rack for that matter if the cooktop doesn't get much use.

Perhaps I'm not getting the question.

Well, there is the expensive solution used in some commercial establishments. The entire visible ceiling is perforated and ducting above the perforations pulls out the cooking effluent, other ducting provides make-up air.

This scheme begs for ultraviolet light systems in the ducts to break down the accumulating precipitated grease (or not if one doesn't cook).

You would need high ceilings to start.

kas

Yep, we have to know what you don't like and what kind of substitute you have in mind. To me this is like saying "I hate clothes dryers" or "I hate toilets." What's to hate? It's a tool with a job to do. Some do it better, some do it quieter, and there are a great many different looks. Maybe you hate just yours because it's large, noisy, or otherwise unattractive, and can do much better. You may be surprised at your options.

Here is a link that might be useful: one of my favorites...wood enclosed hood vent