I've been enjoying these posts. Naturally I'm one of the "population" as well. Usually I don't work with graph paper and ruler, but rather go out in the zone I'm planning, with stakes and possibly flagging tape, and perhaps a measuring tape if it's a really big job. Smaller areas just get the eyeball and sometimes a good deal of thought. I think a garden designer, professional or not, can be defined as a person who understands that whether a plant is in one spot, or else a foot away, makes a difference. Makes THE difference. We are finally enjoying gorgeous sunny weather and I've been out digging in the big garden, amending the gray clay with copious amounts of old hay, and planting. It's a slow job: today I got one rose ('Mme. Jules Bouche'), one rosemary, one lavender, a white iris, a "mentuccia"--some kind of catmint?--in the ground in my five hours of labor, but still, this is what is going to turn this former steep weedy field into a garden one day. I had one little area I was trying to make sense of. It was a short, wedge-shaped strip with the garden road above and a narrow path below, bounded on one end by a thriving young 'Cl. Maman Cochet' on a pergola entrance, and on the other end by a young Italian pine with Artemisia abrotanum growing around it. I had amended this ground and planted various things there last fall and the year before that. Two roses, 'Camelia Rose' and a lovely Tea, perhaps 'Dr. Grill'; a common privet above, a rosemary, a pink, some odds and ends. The roses both died. A couple of stakes mark plants that are no longer there. The rosemary, pinks, and privet made it. The privet is too low below the road for comfort. There's nothing at the corner of the pergola entrance, so I planted another rosemary there. In spite of earlier amendment, the ground looks unprosperous, and I think the roses' deaths are partly due to stress from the bad soil, so I dug and amended generously, not being yet finished. I decided that there was room only for one rose, but want to add a shrub honeysuckle, L. fragrantissima, to the green border above, joining the privet, which I won't move, and rosemary. I need a couple more green shrubs for the border besides the honeysuckle. I may have to move the pink, perhaps on the slope of the rose hole once I've re-dug it. All the amendment raises the ground a bit above the path, which is pleasant, but my plans leave a low open area beside 'Cl. Maman Cochet' that I don't know what to do with. It's too small for a rose, but something choice needs to go there. It feels sheltered. It sits at a curve in the path. Actually I think it might be just the right place for a bench. I love this kind of problem solving, and it seems a very reasonable activity to me. I consider I'm spending my time fruitfully. And, even though DH and I appear to be the only people on earth who enjoy my garden, still I'm improving the soil and helping prevent slides, and giving a home to a good variety of roses, some of them uncommon. Melissa

I just want to pop back in and say thanks for all the ideas. Love the purse hook idea especially, because there is definitely space for that! The others...like TVs and fish tank...there's just no space. The waiting room is small -- basically a square about 10'x10' with 6-7 chairs and a bookcase. All windows on one side and a reception desk on the other, so no logical spot for a TV or fish tank. I like the idea of mobiles on the ceiling in the treatment area, will look into that! The dr. has a large collection of art/prints all by the same artist that he wants to use, so they will be hung throughout the space. There is one wall next to the open doorway to the treatment rooms -- it is about 3' wide and the wall perpendicular to it (to your right as you enter the treatment room) is about 4' wide. So it's a little corner spot that I need to use in a way to "stop the eye". (The dr said some patients like to peer down the hall to the treatment rooms -- from their vantage point in the waiting room -- and say hello.) I thought about a tall tree decal because that would be big and colorful and take up a lot of space. Other ideas? It can't be a coat rack or coffee machine because we don't want people congregating over there (it is just beyond the reception desk, maybe 9-10' from the waiting room seating. Depending on what's left in the budget, I could also see about getting an artist to actually paint a tree there. (This ties in with the dr's art collection, which are mostly landscapes.) What do you think?

mama g - I think your table, the top, shelf and boxes look just great! moccasin - what great stories! you should put them into a little book! my, what life used to be like! such memories. yours are more ? primitive (not thinking of correct word to use) than mine. my maternal gma died shortly before i was born and we had little contact with the paternal side. I only remember 1 time going to the paternal gparents house, being out in gma's garden and helping her pick veggies and gpa on the enclosed front porch yelling at us to be quiet so he could hear his ballgame (WS). we only had a very small garden - I don't remember getting much out of it. Life was very basic for us and looking back, I'm glad. I think life is too full of 'stuff' now and 'going' places. kids don't have time to do the stuff we did. like run around the neighborhood with our cap guns 'shooting' each other and putting one of us in 'jail' (neighobor girl's playhouse). we were playing cowboys and Indians. played all around the area (miles) until dark. spent lots of time in the summer in the yard on a blanket reading comic books (boxes of them given to us - from I don't know where). In the winter sledding down the street in front of our house. Such a different time than it is now.

Ok I'm going out on a bit of a limb here Barb, because I don't know you that well, but I do know about that whole sad situation of losing your husband and I myself am separated from my SO, not by death but by 564 miles and neither of us has the time nor money to bridge that, so I think we have similar dilemmas to deal with. A lot depends on your personal style. I am a strong extrovert, so for me, it is stress-relieving and uplifting to be around people, particularly good friends. A long list of projects or activities to do by myself isn't going to be helpful for me in relieving stress or depression, in fact they will cause it. Also, when you are single (I know a lot about that state!) "going out" and mingling with people can be depressing too, if you're just doing something where you don't know many people or don't intrinsically enjoy the activity. On the flip side, if you are doing something you enjoy, given a little time you will meet and get to know the other people who are there doing the same things, so that can help if you stick it out. My SO is an introvert, he doesn't want to spend a minute of time doing something he doesn't enjoy, so he tends to avoid social situations unless there is a really compelling reason to go out other than to be with people, probably because of the energy he has to expend to go and do things alone--not refreshing for him. He wants and needs "cave time." So he is dealing with the separation by working out, home repair projects, and watching sports and movies on TV. So the lesson there is to take a good hard look at yourself and make sure you fill your time with activities that really suit you, or else it will be counter-productive. Having said all that, it isn't easy to find the right activities or people to hang with. One strategy that I am committed to working more aggressively this year is to find things to engage in that I am passionate about and to get involved with projects that have goals and outcomes. So instead of just volunteering at the local theater as an usher (something I have done and love so I'm not knocking it if it rings your bell) I would get involved in a fundraiser or working on a production (for example). This is how it works for me, I am passionate about my SO, and now that he is not in my life on a daily basis, I need to find something else to be passionate about. I was single for 30 years before I met him, so I am not just blowing smoke here. Having something to work on that you are passionate about will (somewhat) replace having a spouse and kids. It is the best option if a spouse isn't in the picture for you. This helps a lot of folks also who have grief. They find a cause they can work on that gets them doing something positive to honor their loved ones. Heart disease, cancer, mental illness, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's . . . . etc. Get involved in causes like that and you will meet similar souls. Now, if you are introverted and all of this makes you shudder or gag, you could try writing a blog and sharing your expertise on something with the world, or doing something like reading for the blind or even volunteering to go into the back office of the local American Heart Association and clean up their files! Most causes have both kinds of roles, in front of the crowd and behind the scenes. At least if they are on the ball with their volunteers. Having been a volunteer coordinator for many years, I know how important it is to match the personality of the volunteer with the role you put them in. Not all organizations do it well, find one that does! If it will make you feel better, both my SO and I are probably carrying ten extra pounds since our separation. Not sure if that will abate, but I am trying to work on it!!