Before children we bought for everyone - mums, dads, bros, sis, nieces, nephews. Eventually family moved away, so that was a good start to cutting back.

NOW - we buy for our four children and each other. We buy 4 or five gifts each for the boys (usually things they need - clothes, books, electrical gadgets etc) and a family gift like a game. The boys buy something small for us with $$$$ help from us.

We also put our names in a hat and pick out one name that we buy a $5 gift for.

Do the same with MIL, SIL, BIL, and one niece and nephew. All names go in a hat and we draw one name out and spend $10 on that person.

It is fun to try and find something really creative for $5 or $10.

This is a real challenge area for me, for several reasons. One-we have a lot of immediate family and almost every single one lives locally. Which means that gift list is HUGE to start with! And all those local relatives almost all have fall birthdays. Let's see starting on Aug. 31 (me :) we have 15 birthdays, of my 20 local relatives, with the final one on December 19. So gift expense are really something I have to think about. Aside from family I have people at work-3 student assistants, my secretary, and about 6 office other coworkers. And I'm still wrestling with what, if anything, to do about teacher gifts. Now that my kids are older that number is about 15 teachers. I like giving the cleaning service ladies a cash gift too-they work so hard and certainly I know they need it. Bottom line is, my gift list comes to almost 50 people.

So. I really have to get a handle on Christmas gifts. Last year I felt badly because I ended up cheaping out on some people (family) who I really think should have gotten something nicer than what I got them. My decision process this year is to do some pruning of the list for some folks so I can do better for others.

I have done some shopping already. At the after X-mas sales I bought a half dozen beautiful mugs on sale for $2/each (from original $12/each). Those with a little bag of cocoa or coffee will take care of most of my office gifting. My students will get personalized University of Miami mugs (and by the way this place is BUZZING with the upcoming debate tonight--watch to see if they show any of our beautiful campus). Those cost about $5/each. I may, reluctantly, forego teacher gifts this year for everyone. Or just ask the kids to select their favorite teachers and do something for those folks. But it's so hard-there are teachers in my family and I think that profession is one of the finest, and least appreciated, in the world. I *like* giving teachers gifts...

And of course this holiday season I need to be cautious because we are way down financially due to the work we had to do last summer.

Anyway I'm busily thinking about all of it. I'll be interested to hear others' thoughts too.

Ann

I'm religious, Christmas is a religious holiday for me not a gift giving fest. Father Christmas came when we were kids, but we still got NOTHING in comparison to most families. A few toys, a puzzle, some home made night gowns or dresses from Grandma. Our stockings were stuffed with oranges, candies, a tooth brush, a small book.

I have never, ever, ever gone into debt for Christmas and I never will. That's not what its about. Now that my sister has converted to Wicca and celebrates the Solstice, Christmas day has become even less of a gift day. (Huge to us, in my family kids got ONE toy as a birthday present so our Christmas was huge. Its a matter of perspective)

I probably spend about $300 in total on christmas presents each year for my Mother, Father, and Sister. I have a very large extended family who all live very close. We've never exchanged gifts. Somtimes we'll buy small things for and Aunt or Uncle if it strikes us, but usually not! The most I've done is one year gave everyone jars of homemade jelly.

Instead of presents we get together for a big holiday meal and just enjoy each other's company. (We also don't do birthdays as an extended family except to get together for a meal.)

This year I'm saving for a new roof so Christmas will be even smaller. I'll probably pick one very special thing I want to get each immediate family member. My sister will get hers for Solstice and another smaller gift on Christmas day so she has something to open from me with the rest of the family. That's it.

The solution to going nuts and into debt is to simply give less. It didn't scar me as kid, I didn't feel left out or deprived. A small, reverent, loving, warm, FAMILY filled Christmas was all I'd ever known.

You know what my favorite gift was each Christmas? If it would snow on Christmas Eve. I always acolyted at the Midnight service and I remember walking through the cloister to the church to start the service and seeing the snow start to fall. Those from MI know how its utterly silent at night just as snow starts falling. Its like the whole world is holdings its breath. Complete and utter silence, just this clean, perfect snow falling down through the lights. Utterly perfect, I'd happilly have no other gifts at all to be able to relive that moment every year.

This year my mother will probably get a rose book of some kind, something with lots of pictures and good advice. My sister will probably get a collection of essential oils. My father will get some sort of book, whatever subject he's currently interested in. And me, hopefully I'll get snow at midnight. :)

Its not for everyone and I realize to many people Christmas is no longer a religious holiday and its hard to downsize if the rest of your family isn't but not having to buy as many or as expensive gifts really reduces the holiday stress!

That's a loaded question Maria! ;-) Good one though...

I never liked giving gifts when I had to buy them all - it felt so..."mercenary" to me. So I admit that until just last year (or the year before?) I was a huge "scrooge" about the whole thing, and didn't want to give gifts at all. So my gifts weren't really all that great, I'm sad to say, because the "thought" that is supposed to count so much really wasn't there. :-(

Then I started having time for hobbies. *That* is when my gift-giving turned around, and I actually started *enjoying* giving gifts. For some reason, giving people something I'd made especially for them felt more "right"...like I was sharing my time and talents to make them something I thought they would like. I hate shopping, which is probably why I never had much joy in having to buy gifts. It also helps that I'm a little more financially stable now...it's really hard to buy nice presents when you're barely able to pay for college tuition or your mortgage.

So I guess my "approach" is to keep it simple, and as "homemade" as possible. I don't gift co-workers, the mailman, or any other "non-friends" I have contact with aside from my hair stylist, who is so personable that I can't help it. LOL I make cookie trays for the neighbors on either side of wherever I'm living, and to bring to work, and last year I enclosed a container of cookies with each gift, which was a *huge* hit. My parents each get a gift, and my sis and I share the job of stuffing my mom's stocking every year. My grandparents each get something as well, and the one aunt that I'm close to gets something small. The rest of the aunts and uncles, cousins who are living on thier own, my godparents, and any out of town friends get cards...last year I sent soap petals out in each card, and this year I was going to send crocheted ornaments, but not sure if I'll get around to it this year or not. This year I'll need gifts for my MIL, FIL and BIL as well. DH and I don't exchange gifts as a rule - if we find something suitable that just happens to be around Christmas, we'll wrap it up, but normally our gift to each other is an elegant, expensive night out on the town with each other. :-)

Most of my gifts are baked or crocheted, last year I made soap, but I've decided that I don't want to mess with that this year. I had canned goods last year too (rasberry jam and cranberry-rum sauce), and have had some requests for "repeats" of the cranberry sauce this year, so we'll have to see if I can find some time to do that with my normal baking. :-)

Lots of scarves this year, a shawl, a couple afghans, a pair of slippers, and a sweater for my mom will all be crocheted gifts. I have a few books I want to buy for the "readers", and some movie stuff for BIL.

And all that homemade stuff is why I have to get started so early! LOL MIL's afghan is about 1/3 finished, Grandma's shawl is finished, and my sis's afghan is started. My other grandma's scarf is "on tap" this weekend...gotta start homemade things early though, or they don't get done. ;-)

This is such an interesting and thought-provoking topic!

One thing that I realized, reading what Jamie and Tandaina said is that part of my angst comes from the fact that I DO love giving gifts! Not necessarily spending money but I truly love thinking carefully about something a person would like, or could use. I like to have it be a gift the person wants but doesn't necessarily expect. I like to think it will reflect that person's likes and preferences. I'm not particularly crafty but in recent years I have done lower cost but meaningful things like copying and framing family pictures.

Please understand, I'm not criticizing however any other person feels...it's very personal and this is just my own bias. And by eliminating giving to people who either aren't close to me, or to whom I'm just giving out of some kind of duty, I am really trying to come back to my ideals as mentioned above.

One more thing for me--I never go into debt for Christmas. I usually spend more than I *want* to but I do have a figure in mind and I try to keep to it. I'm just hoping to lower that figure this year!

Ann

I buy only for my sister and my niece. I'm pretty close to my cousins and their kids, but we don't exchange gifts. Same with my friends. Oh, if I happen to see something that's *perfect* for someone, I'll get it, but won't worry about finding something for everyone else.

Things I've given my sister over the years include clothes, tickets to some event, inexpensive jewelry, videotapes, books, CD's and so on.

My sister is a single mom, so I buy my niece mostly things she needs. Clothes, shoes, pajamas and so on. I do buy some toys, but only a few.

Every year, I have a Christmas carol party. I invite friends and neighbors and family and people from work. A friend who is a professional keyboard player plays piano, make a variety of foods and fill the house with lights and candles. I enjoy this party much more than giving people things I know they don't need or will buy for themselves.

I like to bake, and I often make cookies and pies and give them away.

As other posters have said, I never go into debt buying presents. I'm serious about my faith, but I love the gift-giving side of Christmas. I suppose if I were buying for dozens of people, it would feel more like a chore than an expression of love.

I enjoy the gift giving as well. Usually my daughter takes a big basket of home made jellies and jams for all her teachers and other school staff - the counselor, school nurse, attendance office lady etc. They always appreciate it and often tell her in January or February how much they enjoyed something home made. The neighbors and the postman get jellies too.

Dh is one of eight kids so when that group gets together it is huge. When we go there for Christmas I try to have something for everyone, and something special for each of the children since it is always about children (but when we don't go we just send cards). Last Christmas each adult or couple got something sort of token, like some nice kitchen towels (everybody needs/uses them) that I got discount at Tuesday Morning, or a pair of earrings for the single women. The children got fun age appropriate toys in gaudy bright colors (at my daughter's urging). The college age nephews (eight of them!) all got handknitted watch caps, which were very well received.

On my side of the family we pretty much do a gift for each household, and then something for the kids. Last year my brother and his wife got a gift basket with a cd, some kitchen towels, some nice teas and candies. Then the kids got nicer toys. Stuff like that.

Friends get consumables. I'll buy an inexpensive glass cookie jar and fill it with nice cookies. Or a decorative decanter and fill it with homemade kahlua. I don't spend a lot of money. And I try to get everything done by November (THANKS JAMIE!) so that as Christmas itself approaches I have time for the busy schedule that means: extra rehearsals for the Christmas pageant at church, lots of performances of dd's choir, parties etc., as well as have time to to relax and do the introspective sort of Advent preparation. We usually get a booklet at church with a bible reading and prayer for each day of Advent and we do that right before dinner as we light the candle on the Advent wreath. It's a nice tradition and a way of slowing down and considering the meaning of the season.

All my gifts are cash based.

"Dh is one of eight kids so when that group gets together it is huge"

Hey, I resemble that remark! Same situation for us--in my original family there are 6 siblings, all but one of whom is married. Only one niece and one nephew out of all that group of siblings (I'm the only one who has more than one child actually). My father has been remarried twice-I don't buy for the children of his ex and current wife *except* during years when any of them are going to be here for Xmas. My husband only has one brother, married with one daughter.

But I do have to say the gift issues are very different for those of us from large families. Having only a couple of folks on the gift list is definitely a foreign concept to me :).

And having said that, I actually feel blessed that I have a large, close knit family that all live so nearby. I am lucky, but it does make for a lot of gifts to plan, buy, wrap and give! But now that my kids are older and don't peek/pry/destroy packages (much :) I like to get gifts wrapped and out early. It really does look like a store display with all that loot parked beneath the tree! Definitely puts me in the holiday mood.

Ann

My gift giving has changed over the years. I used to enjoy giving gifts to everyone, but after my nephews and nieces grew up, and members of the family started imposing "rules" on gifts i.e. educational toys only, etc. I choose instead to give gifts to those whose lives touch mine on a day to day basis. I send letters and cards to my Aunts and Uncles who live far away, I send picture cards to other relatives with a letter. The gifts I choose to give are something that I hope the person will enjoy. For some it is baked goods, for some candles or bath salts, for some it is a big hug. I tend to make my gifts consumable/useable and practical.

DH and I are from opposite sides of the spectrum on this issue.I come from a large family .Our parents gave us books ,clothing and one toy each,and then a family game each year.There were not tons of toys,and when my daughter was born,xmas was small,mostly necessary items with a few wow toys thrown in(used BTW,because I was a single mom then).After I married I was introduced to the season of excess.DH also comes from a large family,and they customarily tell each other what they want right down to color and name brand in some cases.In addition to this,all holiday dinners are planned during mass times ( MIL will need assistence getting her elaborate affair together for several days in advance,and now these things actually run right into midnight mass which I used to attend.Her big night is xmas eve.Then the following day we are allowed a three hour holiday before they either start coming over,or expect the kids back over to their place to report on all their gifts.For years we set aside a ridiculous budget for all his family because they go waaay overboard on our kids.Recently though,his family has suffered some financial struggles which have forced them to scale back(thank Gawd).Last year was the first xmas that we didn't use credit cards.It was such a relief when January rolled around.I think that my DH finally realized that even though we were paying top dollar for their gifts,his family wasn't really using anything.BTW,we have always spent very moderately on my family.My brother married into a family with ten siblings who live near by him .He requested way back when to be left off our list.My other siblings xchange when they have money,and don't when they have none which is fine with me.A typical gift from one of my family members would be a book(often used),a good thrift store find,or something homemade.I had hoped this year to curb find,dumpster dive and thrift gift as many people in his family as possible.Last year MIL recieved an antique drop down desk which I painted to match her oriental furniture.The kids bought her a large number of wineglasses for entertaining that we found for 19 cents each(she wanted matching for family get togethers).His sis recieved a painting bought at the thrift.... you get the picture.I did gift baskets this year for Easter with baskets found on the roadside,beautiful fancy bottles of bath oil found in a dumpster behind a popular home decor show,and some home made goodies.Everyone was pleased and no one the wiser.I'm hoping to do something similer this year.

As for my own family,the kids usually get fifty percent clothing,a few things off their lists,and money(especially the one in college who would rather have money than bakets of soap and stuff).DH usually renews my supply of perfume,and I usually buy what's on his list.

This is an interesting topic! Like Ann, all of our extended family lives near us. For all of us, the greatest gift is being together (we moved away from them in 1993, and by 1999 they all ended up moving here to be closer!). My parents never splurged when it came to Christmas - we didn't get as much as other kids did in terms of material gifts. HOWEVER, what my parents *did* give us was much more valuable - a sense of tradition. We'd bake, perform shows for our parents to Christmas LPs, make dough ornaments, make a day out of going to the tree farm, and just enjoy the season. I carry those memories in my heart! I don't go crazy with Christmas gifts - we simply cannot afford to (although I DO love to shop and give!). This has been a particularly difficult year for us financially, with DH's job changes and salary decrease, so I have no choice but to cut back. Fortunately, I love to be creative. So I intend to put it to good use. I want to believe "it's the thought that counts." My children have inherited my love for Christmas. Yes, they enjoy their gifts (my inlaws are especially generous in this area), but even more they LOVE all our little traditions. They remind me of myself as a child.

Sheryl

Just a short reply. I am giving magazine subscriptions to all of our out-of-town relatives for as long as my children attend the Catholic school that uses this successful fundraiser. Every year, we remind our children that since Jesus only got three gifts, that's all that they get. And they exchange gifts as well. But with seven children, godparents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, we have well over a hundred gifts under the tree and its overwhelming to all of us. I want to do something different this year. We are thinking of a dog for the children. My thanks to the Original Poster for raising this timely discussion.

Sheryl (and others)-

Thanks so much for your thoughts in this discussion on the true meaning of this holiday! It's truly made me stop and think. And realize that the holiday spirit is exactly that, a spirit, and not what gifts you give or get.

I've been so focused on that one area I didn't mention that we also have family traditions that we all cherish, both in my my immediate and extended families. One is getting and decorating the tree. I love love love big real beautiful Christmas trees, probably because when I was growing up we never had them :). My parents used this sparkly aluminum 60s style 'thing' that was assembled every year. It even had a rotating light accessory that would reflect green/red/white tones onto the tree. I bet I could sell that sucker on EBay for big money if I still had it! Anyway, when I got married I was determined to always have a real tree and I have. We always, always get our tree the same time-weekend after Thanksgiving-from the same place. One year recently when my husband and son were traveling it was delayed and all of us were so disgruntled; it was too funny.

And I always decorate with the same ornaments, in my theme of ocean/tropical/Florida. I have been collecting for almost 20 years now so I've got tons of unique ornaments: manatees lounging on beach chairs, Santa and his reindeer in a bottle, pink flamingoes, lighthouses, crystal fish, mermaids, seashells and so on. The tree is the centerpiece of our living room for a month-my husband even rigged up a special light switch/outlet so you can just turn on the lights with the flick of a finger :).

We have lots of other traditions but this is long enough. And thanks again for the reminders about what Christmas really means for a family.

Ann

We do OK in terms of not going in debt, or anything.

We have the imbalance, a bit , as well. His family is nearby, and used to giving presents to extended family. And most of them are a tad better off than my family, which is far away.

I like to see a huge pile of presents. When I was a kid, my mom "padded" the pile by giving us, as gifts, stuff we needed. New underwear, new socks, one nice new outfit, etc. I try to do that a little bit, too--sometimes it makes me think I've spent too much for Christmas, and I have to remind myself that those $$ include pajamas to replace the ones that wore out, or underwear w/ the fave character of the moment, to replenish the supply.

My family also has a different approach to the concept of what "qualifies" for a gift. My in-laws think gifts have to fall into a certain category, and be of a certain financial weightiness. A scarf, but never sock. Jewelry, but never a goofy cap. A $40 racetrack, not a $6 die-cast bus.

My family gives things that are silly--my MIL said something once about getting a penguin cookie-cutter as a premium from Martha Stewart Living; she was going to pass it on to me. I pointed out that this item would have been a perfect Christmas present; she should have stayed silent, and wrapped it up to surprise me. No, she said, that's not a Christmas present. She got it free, I guess, and it wasn't THAT valuable, so it couldn't have been a gift.

I've started every year giving my kids a box of goofy cereal. At first it was just any sweetened cereal, but then my DH started *buying* sweetened cereal regularly. So now I look for whatever odd sort of test cereal, or limited-edition cereal, that I can find. And it's one of their gifts. (in fact, if anyone lives near Kenosha Wisc., which I think is a test market, I'd love to make it worth your while to send me some of the test-market cereal)

I have found, however, that TOO many gifts actually hurts the fun. It takes too long to open them. And they overshadow all the others.

We end up with a lot of present-opening times, which also frustrates me. I like all the extended-family time, but I feel like we don't get any of our own. We get it, just not when I'd like it.

Christmas Eve is church for me and whichever kid is old enough to stay up that late (used to be a friend's party, but she's stopped having them), then Christmas morning is Santa presents, fancy breakfast by daddy, church. Then, as soon as we get home from church, we head off to my ILs, and are there until 6 or 8pm. When we get home, THEN we can open some presents. If we try to do them all, it takes until 11pm--not good. So we normally push some off to Boxing Day.

During our "nuclear-family Christmas," my kids open presents from me, from DH, from each other, from godparents, from aunts & uncle, , from greataunt, from my parents, from neighbors. I think me and DH need to pare back so that the presents from the other people are a bit more noticeable.

Last year, we set those aside, and opened them on Boxing Day.

And at my ILs, my kids get presents from:
DH's parents, DH's brother & girlfriend, DH's uncle, DH's uncle's kids, DH's aunt, DH's aunt's kids & grand kids (together), DH's other aunt, DH's other aunt's daughter, DH's other aunt's son & wife, DH's godmother, DH's cousin & girlfriend.

It gets very wearying at Christmas.

My biggest problem with it is the receiving, not the giving. We buy presents for all those people, but we seem to be able to handle it financially.

But oh my goodness, the STUFF that comes into my house. And the only place I can cut it down is in the gifts *I* give to my kids. Which annoys me a bit--why should *I* have to scale back my giving to my *own* kids to almost nothing, just so all these other people can give my kids gifts?

I don't think they'd take it kindly if I said, "Please don't give your cousins/grandnephew&niece a gift." It's pretty clear that they get very excited about what they buy my kids, and giving it to them. I'd be squashing some of THEIR holiday fun. So I have to give up mine.

And *my* presents are sometimes the best ones they get, because I know my kids and what they like.

Probably good for me--maybe we'll pick a number and limit the gifts from us to that.

I would NEVER give up going to church in order to be at a social gathering--MIL just can't have help from me on Christmas morning; I'm celebrating my Savior's birth. It's mildly rude, but I really pitch in to clean up, and I bring a dish or two if she lets me.

And I'm like Ann--I want a live tree, I don't care how much work it is. It's part of those fun traditions that make the holiday enriching. (sort of like i hope those boxes of cereal will be)

I haven't read all the responses. I'm feeling a bit sick and tired.

I buy my kids too many gifts.
I also buy something kind of big for my parents and something for my in laws (not this year though).
(And you all know the story on that!)

I usually try to make jams etc to have on hand for the mail lady, the receptionist at the Village office and those other people who touch our lives in small meaningful helpful ways.

I only have a few friends I exchange gifts with by mutual consent most of us get together and go out for dinner at a fancy place and call it good.

GInger

Talley:
I love the cereal idea: what a precious memory!

To all:

For many months I have mulled around the notion of gifts. At our tight-knit Catholic school, in the younger grades parties mean every girl in my daughter's class is invited to any girl birthday. What do you do with 24 craft kits? Beads, paints, kits, the list is endless and we just can't store that stuff -- let alone do the crafts -- in a reasonable amount of time. And you can't exactly return them, or throw them in the gift closet and give the gift to another person. Christmas is becoming a burden. We simply don't need any other object in my house. Except money, but that usually turns into more stuff. For my mother for Christmas, I bought her two nicely done, expensive needlepoint pillows for her velvet sofa that say "When I Count My Blessings, I Count You Twice." I don't know if she'll like them, but I really MEAN them. I only wish I had time to make them myself.

So I'm wondering if I should just email my relatives and say "Please, don't be hurt, but consider not sending us anything... just pray for us and call us the day after Christmas and let's have a nice talk." I like the idea of friends going out to dinner. And teachers gifts: I try to by things that can be used. At Bath and Body Works I bought these small containers of wipes that are scented in "Country Apple" so there's a nice apple on the little container (apple for the teacher sort of thing). After the teacher uses the 25 wipes, into the garbage it goes and its done. Teachers can keep the little container in their desk. At our school, mamoth collections are taken for the teachers (and the PTA gives each teacher a $$$ gift to boot, sort of on behalf of the parents). I just can't spend ten dollars on each teacher/librarian and aid. For my situation (five at school), I'd spend $500. Our dear teachers are priceless, but these things do add up.

In any case, like I said, I'm mulling these things over and trying to come up with what fits this holy day and our family the best.

We definitely don't go into debt for Christmas! We buy gifts for my dad, sister & grandmother & for my MIL, FIL, 2 BIL's, & SIL. Sometimes we buy a hat or something else small for DH's grandfather & mail it to him if we won't see him. Sometimes we just send him a card. He's told us that he prefers that we give our money to charity. We buy pretty small things for the rest of the family too - maybe spending $20-$30 on each of them. We do usually spend a little more on my dad. He's done a lot of things to help us out over the years. A couple of years ago we bought fleece pullovers for less than $20 for my BIL's & FIL. They still wear them. Neither of our families buys lots of gifts or expensive ones. DH & I also buy for each other - something nice but not extravagant.

My parents always gave my sister & me a nice but not huge Christmas. We got some toys, but also clothes, books, shoes, things we could use.

This year, I'm working very closely with the two other ladies in my department. So I'll probably get them something small, perhaps a mug & some cocoa or something similar. I usually bake cookies or some other goodies for the neighbors.

We go to the candlelight Christmas Eve service at our church. We usually have breakfast with our neighbors on Christmas morning, then have a late lunch with family.

Greta

Talley Sue - I love the box of cereal gift! And I certainly understand what you mean about a weary Christmas day. We open our own gifts at home, then go to my inlaws house (they spoil our children with so many gifts!) and then to my parents house. Both have big meals, too. I absolutely love having all our family around, but sometimes I think how nice it would be to just lounge around our house all day on Christmas day. I've already solved the 2 Thanksgiving meals situation by having everyone over to OUR house for ONE meal, but I don't think we could get away with it on Christmas. Plus, our children have told us they like it just as it is.

My husband is big on Christmas stockings. He makes sure they are stuffed with all kinds of goodies! This is the first thing we open Christmas morning.

Ann, I can just imagine that Christmas tree! LOL We always get a fresh one each year, although the past couple of years I've been thinking how much easier a fake one would be. (It's always cold and raining when we get our tree. Not at all like the sunny trips to the tree farm when we lived in Northern CA.)

So today, when I was checking out the CDs at the library, I found myself pausing at the Christmas music. Hmmm...is it too early to play Christmas music??????

Sheryl

Ann,I would love to see pics of your tree.I am going to try and make ornamental shell trees this year.Love seeing Fla.theme decorations.Someone near us does the tropical Santa with a sleigh drawn by flamingos and alligators in their yard.It's a kick.

Wow, lots of neat traditions.

I find shopping for gifts wearying. I usually start in October and try to be finished by the end of November. I try to leave time in December for decorating, cookie baking and wrapping gifts. We are also away for about 9 days total in December as our kids play in 2 international junior squash tournaments and so this takes a huge chunk out of our Christmas preparation time and also means we cannot have a real tree as we are away and can't water it.
We buy for our 3 kids, in-laws, our staff (about 8 people), couple of aunts and uncles, and assorted family. We have done a draw for the family in previous years so that all the adults names are put in a hat and each person then draws and only has to buy 1 gift. But this has fallen by the wayside as part of the family had moved away and sometimes comes back for Christmas and sometimes doesn't. I am more conscious now in trying to buy gifts that are useful or consumable as we all know how easy clutter comes into our homes and how difficult and time consuming it is to take it back out.

Traditionally my DH and I usually buy small gifts for each other, most of which will fit in our stockings, requisite gifts are chocolate bars, socks, paperbacks, I always receive a "For Better or For Worse" comic book and the year's stamp set (Canadian), and a CD, you get the idea. We also buy lots of little things for the kids' stockings. Sometimes there may be one big gift for the family (one year it was a large screen T.V. ) and then, the other gifts will be smaller and fewer. I usually get an Odyssey set of tapes (from Focus on the Family) as one of the gifts for the kids as we do lots of driving trips and the kids like listening to them in the car.

Just wrapping all the stocking gifts takes forever, but they are so much fun to open Christmas morning.

Christmas Eve, the family goes to Church as our Church does not have a Christmas morning service. Then we open presents Christmas morning, have brunch and relax and then start cooking Christmas dinner late afternoon, in-laws come and another round of gift opening takes place.

I really like it that we don't have to go anywhere on Christmas day, it really is quite relaxing. My DH jokes that it's the only day in the whole year when the car doesn't leave the driveway!

I LOVE Xmas & we do buy ALLOT of gifts although not necessarily for allot of people. There is me & my husband, daughter, sister, brother in law, father, grandmother, god-daugther & her 2 brothers, 1 neighbor, always at least 1 charitable item, teachers at school & for lessons, manicurist, best friend, baby-sitters, postman & garbage men get $.

The way I get through it is to ask people what they want & I too give my wishlist to those closest to me. It makes shoppig a bit more difficult having to find the exact items BUT everyone gets what they want or need. I also start early - usually in early Oct. & am done way before Xmas & I NEVER go shopping at night or wknds where the crowds are crazy.

I've changed the fact that since having a house, 3 dogs & a daughter I no longer have time to make all the home made gift extras I used to (I was a major crafter)nor do I decorate the pkgs like I did. I've slowly gone from spending an hr on 5 gifts with usually about 100 to wrap. I've painted my own tissue paper, used rafia, hot glue pinecones & faux greenery & berries, etc. to using gift bags to last yr I didn't even use bows on pkgs. That's a HUGE change for me, but lack of time & enthusiasm won over.

Michie

Tally Sue - I remember your cereal tradition from last year, and I love it!

My mother padded the gifts, too, as do my sister and I, but it's usually with gifts like toiletries, favorite foods, socks, etc. Also, I've taken to wrapping small gifts in larger boxes - usually food boxes. My family thinks it's funny to get socks in a cracker box, and I like that the gifts look bigger. (I want the look but not the stuff - we all have enough stuff already.)

This year, for gifts to my friends and a few family members - all of whom have plenty of stuff - I bought shares of animals from Heifer, a charitable organization that embodies the old adage that if you give a man a fish, he eats for one day, but if you teach him to fish, he eats forever. I hope they'll enjoy it more than another candle or picture frame.

Here is a link that might be useful: Heifer

Santa still gives our boys a box of cereal each Christmas morning. I got fed up with them not eating anything because of the excitement of the morning (and all the chocolates!), so about 10 years ago starting incorporating a small box of cereal in their santa bags from Santa Claus. They haven't missed a breakfast since :-)

Denise, that's a cool idea! Our magazine just did a "Holiday Ideas for Kids" issue, and one of the ideas was to put a "breakfast stocking" by the kids' beds, so they'd eat something while you slept late.

sometimes I think how nice it would be to just lounge around our house all day on Christmas day. ...our children have told us they like it just as it is.

This is one of my problems, too. So changing the schedule would mean really disappointing them. And since I don't really *need* to be home all Christmas Day, I give in.

Next year is my DM & DF's 50th anniversary, and we've been told we MUST be in Iowa with them at Christmas--no party needed, Xmas required. I'm looking forward to that. And I think the kids will like it, since it's thoroughly different and not just "missing the party."

I liked having Christmas in my house as a kid, and I miss that I don't get to be "in charge" of Christmas ever. Mom & Dad were "in charge" of Christmas when I was a kid; my MIL is "in charge" of it now. And I don't want to be the grandma running everything; I'd like my KIDS to be the ones to create their families' traditions. Oh, well.

That's not gift-giving, is it?

I've realized we don't have much money this year; I've got ot get DH to sit down and make a list of who needs a present.

My brother called me last night w/the best idea! Our children exchange names w/their cousins each year in order to eliminate costs and the number of useless toys we get every year.

My brother suggested that this year, rather than gifts, we have the children send Christmas cards to each other - there are 10 children in all and each child would receive cards from each of their cousins. This is a great way to get the kids involved and they all love to get mail. The cards can be store bought or handmade - they can even insert a silly picture if they want.

ooh, Janet, that's a really neat idea!

thanks for sharing that!

Thank goodness! DH finally agreed we could do donations in his brothers' and sister's names in lieu of Christmas gifts! Thanks to your suggestions, I'm already set with my MIL's gift, and we'll send our usual check to our nephew/godson. But for the rest of the adults, it will be a donation. For this year, I figure nobody could object to Toys for Tots. I can ask them if they'd rather have us give to some other organization in future years.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders!

The only glitch I can see is that one brother lives with my MIL, who WILL be getting a gift. The only thing I can figure to do is also send a food gift to "the house" that I know he'll like. Does that seem reasonable, or do you think it would cause hurt feelings? (This isn't a kid--he's around 60.)

Erica

I don't think your brother will feel slighted if he gets a donation and MIL gets a gift. Everyone knows parents are special!