Time for some new traditions. Maybe making a big breakfast or brunch together. Watch a silly holiday themed movie like Christmas Vacation or Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. Go for a walk or sledding, have a snow ball fight or build a sand castle (depending on where you live). Start a marathon game of Scrabble (not on their phones! What a concept!) or poker.

I don't have kids so I don't have direct experience with your problem but I can speak to it as an adult. In my DH's family of 4, now 5 with me, they still open presents as they did it as kids. It takes 2+ hours to take turns slowly opening each gift, hearing the story about what a hassle it was to find that gift for you, and since my SIL is video taping the whole proceedings, for her to get up and constantly move the camera back & forth so everyone is taped. It. is. torture.

I can't change them but I have hope for your family. Mix it up. Try something different. Assign the kids some task or form teams to accomplish something. At some point, little kids will be back in the group and you can re-create some of the childhood traditions, along with your new ones.

I like what hh has to say (as usual) but some other ideas, depending on their interests -- tickets to a show/play that you can all see together? a family membership to a museum? a weekend trip? You could buy and wrap items for your trip -- the train or bus tickets, guidebook about your destination, new carry-on bags... hm, can't think of what else. Depending on where you're going -- sunscreen, maybe?

My two oldest kids are 16 and 19, so I'm starting to understand what you're talking about. My older son's laptop died in Aug., so we bought him a new one but told him it was his Christmas present. Second DS is also getting a laptop. Well, I couldn't not get DS #1 anything to put under the tree -- but I also didn't want to "spoil" him -- so ended up buying him stuff like underwear, pajama pants, a sweater, and then a few cheap/fun things. Then to make things "equal", I had to buy a few extras for DS2, who actually will get his laptop on Christmas day.

I was just saying to someone that I'm so glad I still have a 10-year-old because she's a lot more fun to shop for!

What about donating $ to someplace that makes life better for children? I did that for my 2 year old grandson, who has more stuff than anyone should have. He won't understand what I'm doing for a while, but I decided I wanted to make it a tradition. On his first birthday, I bought a paving brick for a new waterfront park and had a message to him from me engraved on it. He'll always be able to find "his/our" brick for his whole life. This year for his 2nd, I donated money to Heifer International and bought a lama for a child and bought a book about a lama for him. I wrote him a note about what I'd done, but if he was older, I would have wrapped up the page from the catalog, so he could read about what "he" did for another child and he still has a box to open. Maybe a book about the country or the part of our country where the $ will be used.

If your kids have special interests, dogs, cats, horses, etc. you could find places that benefit them and donate in their name.

I'm in the exact same boat - 1 21 year old, 1 19 year old and a 13 year old - all boys. All who need nothing in particular.

My youngest wants a laptop to do his homework and itunes account on - so that's easy. The middle one needs a new cell phone, but the oldest one got a new cell phone in Aug. when he lost his so as Sue said above, I told him that was his christmas gift early - but it's hard to say that when he gets little to open on Xmas day.

I ordered the two older ones a pair of the gloves with the smart finger so they can use their cell phone while wearing gloves. Probably will go to Dick's and get some nice Under Armour sweat pants/hoodies.

My DH wants to get them a little tool box with a small drill/tools etc. inside. They're both off at college living in apts.

I'm thinking about just giving them some money as well as I know they run short frequently each month. But that seems so boring.

I was looking at an Ipod/Iphone docking station that was a speaker tower - about $199 I think. It was a really nice speaker system to play music stored on their ipod. Don't know if they would like that or not, but I thought it would be something a little different.

Another twist on giving to charity. My DH "gives" each of my kids money every Christmas to donate to the charity of their choice. Usually it's around $500 each and they can divide it among 2-3 charities or send the whole thing to one. And we ask them to write a letter to go with it, explaining what they are doing and why. My youngest was ecstatic when she donated part of her money to the World Wildlife Fund and they sent her a stuffed animal! Okay, not exactly the message we were trying to send, but it was fun.

Same dilemma here - ours are 22, 20, and 18. I find it much easier to buy for our daughter than for our sons. This year they are each getting four gifts plus some money. Money seems to be what they most need and want even if it isn't so exciting.

My saddest Christmas was the one where Santa finally stopped coming and the kids started buying us 'adult' presents. No more drug store presents :(

As the kids got SO's and spouses, it became harder to do the big multiple gifts and paper thrown everywhere thing. So last year we decided to do a gift exchange by drawing names. But I did insist on stockings and everyone had to bring something for each persons stocking. That was a lot of fun.

In a few years there will be grands (I hope) so we can start the Santa tradition again.

As the adult child in this situation, I have to say that I'm amazed at how well my mother does at finding things we would like to have and surprising us with them. She bought us each an iPad last year. It was totally unexpected and exactly the kind of thing that I probably wouldn't have splurged on for myself, but have enjoyed immensely. I keep telling her that we need to move to a one-gift-per-person system so that she doesn't have to agonize over finding multiple gifts, but she isn't ready to give up the excitement of lots of presents under the tree.

Our family has gone through this stage. Our philosophy is "Christmas is for kids." With the economy being what it is, we have found ourselves helping our kids provide a good Christmas for their kids a few years.

My adult children generally get something they have done without for awhile. Aimee is getting an awesome jacket (she helped me pick it out.) Derek is getting small iHome speakers for his smart phone and computer. Max is getting a shaver "like Papa's." Filler gifts include favorite foods like spicy beans and olives, socks and underwear. That is it.

We help them throughout the year if the need arises. We certainly helped Haley get prepared for the baby this year.

Since we aren't really a religious family (we consider ourselves Humanists), we host the large family Christmas dinner and have a wonderful time with the 30 plus people who show up. We buy token gifts for all who attend but they are very token. A good bottle of our favorite wine, Italian soda and homemade candy type gifts. Some years we do more, some years less. Depends on how well the business is doing.

We have always been frank with our kids. If we just sent a $1000 to a kid for school, we aren't going to be buying them an iPad for Christmas kind of attitude.

My kids are 31, 29, 25. Last year I gave each one "something" to open. I gave each a gift bag that held one bag of their favorite candy, along with gas cards, lottery tickets; the rest cash and/or gift cards. They still enjoyed it. I believe, as parents, WE are the ones who can't get excited any more; the grown kids still do. My late MIL used to get DH a can of cashews and cash; for me it was candy and cash. I still enjoyed it, as my cash was strictly for ME.

Here's a gift and activity idea for you:
I bought a game deck of cards (at B&N) called Would you rather? for under $6. You answer a crazy question like would you rather walk through knee deep fish guts *or* through a dark cave covered in thick spider webs. The questions are all sorts of ridiculous things, some gross & some funny.

I passed them out last night at my women's club dinner and everyone had to answer a question off their card. It made for some funny conversation. An ovarian cancer survivor randomly received the question: would you rather shave all the hair off your body, including your eyebrows *or* dye your hair neon green. She said she is had already experienced the total hair loss thing so she'd rather dye her hair neon green this time.

Apples to Apples and Loaded Question are also fun games for groups. We just use the cards & don't bother with the scores or using a game board but if you're a more competitive family you could do it that way.

What I've done for my 26 year old is bought him work boots; uniform pants; socks; underwear; under shirts; flannel lined jeans. This year he wants a battery charger for his drill that runs on a cigarette lighter. He still has pants he hasn't used from last year but needed boots. I also picked up some thermal shirts.

My daughter has taken just about everything I've bought because she gained weight & needed to use the clothes but for under the tree; she has a netbook; Coach sneakers (found cheap) & 2 handbags.

they still open presents as they did it as kids. It takes 2+ hours to take turns slowly opening each gift

That sounds fantastic to me. I love spending a lot of time opening gifts. That's the way that we have always celebrated Christmas. The problem comes in when there are fewer gifts to open because the kids don't want much any more.
Mine are 32 year old son, 25 year old daughter and 23 year old son. My eldest is teaching English in Ukraine right now, and I really wanted him to have something to open from us, so I sent him some games that he will enjoy playing with his students and friends there. He has quite a large apartment, and apparently invites his fellow teachers and students over for game nights/parties pretty regularly. Since it is so expensive to mail overseas I took the components of the games (which were mostly decks of cards) out of their original packaging to get them to fit into a smaller box.

My daughter has quite an extensive wish list on Amazon, mostly of books and CDs so I need to narrow down what I want to get her.

My youngest son is attending the University of Oregon, and the only thing he wanted were Rose Bowl tickets, which he has already purchased, but will need the money to pay for them when his Visa bill is due. I don't like just giving money, but those tickets were expensive!

Would you believe-- my kids are still young (9, 6, 4, 2 and one more coming soon), and I have this problem, too? How many things do we actually want or need? Most people I know have enough, or more than enough . . .we are middle class people, too. Not wealthy compared to the 1% in the US, but wealthy if you think about the rest of the world.

I wrote about this on another thread, but I am keeping in mind what my friend does: something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read. Something you need could be something like some socks or gloves. I made a spreadsheet with each category for the kids so I could keep track of this. I also included some items like each of their dolls getting something, and a small family gift. Anyway, my friend uses this for her DH, too.

IMO, there is always a let-down after the presents are unwrapped (even when I was a kid) so I want to make Christmas like a party. We had a Hallow e'en party this year w/others this year, and it was a lot of fun. While I won't be inviting others over for Christmas, I am going to plan activities as a party for US. Once the presents are done, there will still be cooking decorating, crafts, karaoke, etc. Whenever anyone would rather go play with their new x, of course, they can! My friend is having an open house, so that will help as well.

My mom gives us $, but she always gives a physical gift, too, so that we have something to unwrap. I think it's fun to buy for my mom-- one of those people who does not have or want excess but has the means for it . . .this year we got her a Keurig coffee maker. Something she would NEVER buy for herself, but she likes to use ours when she comes over.

terriks,
Do you want to go in my place?

Actually, I think you hit the nail on the head of the problem - there are fewer gifts to open, since everyone is an adult, but they still do it s-l-o-w-l-y and video tape it.

The last 10 years it's become basically a gift card exchange. It's really hard to make opening a gift card seem fun or interesting.

I love when little kids stop and play or use each item as they open them. That's worth a 2+ hour event. But adults with gift cards? Not so much fun for this Grinch.

hhireno, Do they ever watch the videos? I can imagine if the original even was boring the video would be a real snoozer. I made my husband get out from behind the video camera when the kids were small, because it kept him from being involved in the day. So we don't have video of those events, but my kids will remember that their dad was engaged with them, which means more to me (and them).

When I was in the transitional stage of child to adult, I longed for Christmas to be more than material things and when they say they don't need anything, I think that is a way of subconsciously expressing that thought.

I would consider doing something that helps others Christmas day: working in a soup kitchen, delivering presents for needy families (Angel Tree, Marine corps), working in an animal shelter (give those year 'round volunteers a day off) or visiting a nursing home (plenty of people have no families). These would all require you to schedule your time with the directors, but it might be
what your family needs more than writing a check.