By now you have surely planted your garden but.... If you want a different flavor, you've got to try Cherokee Purple, Black Krim, Old German or Bradywine. Arkansas Travelers are easy to grow, medium size and wonderful flavor. Homegrown tomatoes are not "mealy" nor do they have "gel", not if they are ripe. I refuse to eat tomatoes from the time I get the last one off the vine (usually Thanksgiving week) until I get my first ripe one (unless I find a locally grown one, first!). The easiest to care for tomato I've ever grown is Green Zebra, they taste great, are small in size, beautiful yellow and green color. They rarely split from too much rain, either. Since you are growing them for others to eat, you could really WOW them with an Old German or Cherokee Purple. All of these I mentioned,(besides the AR Traveler) have beautiful unique colors, that you don't find in the grocery store, (orange and purples) and smokey flavors. Beware though, one of my Old German's last year was over 14 feet tall!

I'm back a bit more than 1 month later with good news and information about what worked. To recap: I thoroughly vacumed the Purrfect Post, kitty was willing to scratch it and I put a treat on the base of it afterward. Since then, 1. Anything she had scratched (except the post) was sprayed with an orange scented room freshner spray from Walmart since cats aren't supposed to like citrus scent and I wanted to cover up the scent she left from her claws (I didn't realize they are scenting with their claws and that keeps them coming back!). I did this two days in a row. 2. Little spray bottles of water were placed next to where we usually sit or stand. Anytime she scratched the furniture, we kept quiet and merely gave her an immediate squirt. 3. Whenever she woke up, I led her to the post, praised her for scratching it and placed a treat or two on the base of the post ("all natural temptations chicken flavor" since that brand is more food than junkfood and didn't upset her stomach). 4. We trimmed just the little tiny tips of her claws when they got very sharp (about two weeks or so). I noticed, if she had longer, sharper claws she seemed to want to use them more. She hardly ever claws furniture now! No more furniture snags & thread pulls. The times she is likely to make an "error" is when she wakes up from sleeping on my lap so I walk her to the post right away to prevent it. The other day I was in the kitchen and she walked up to me and meowed like she wanted something. I said "Show me" and took a step toward her (did this with my last kitty too). When she saw I was going to follow her, she led me to the room where the post is and scratched it! She just wanted to be sure I noticed! These kitties are so smart-- See how well THEY train us! She uses the post on her own more often now, without prompts, praise or treats from me. I think we are over the hump. Thank you all for your help!

I wonder if your ex is not putting your daughter up to the things that she is saying. She pretty much just gave me an ultimatum that if I don't end my relationship with "some girl" that her and my relationship is in jeopardy The "some girl" comment sounds very much like the "you look like you're 16" comment that my (30 year old) sisters (6 year old) step daughter made when she (sister) got serious with "dad". It was something that SDs mom had said (trying to imply that she was too young to be with him). There is a lot of poisoning that goes on (whether intentional or not) when people split up. It seems like sometimes, even if mom moves on, she's still not willing to see dad do the same. You need to (gently) find out if the ultimatum (end it or lose me) is coming from your daughter or your ex. When my DH's ex found out that I wasn't going anywhere, she cut off all contact between DH and his two children. He hasn't seen or spoken with them in three and a half years. Is there any chance your daughter believes something like this could happen? Is there any chance that mom is telling her things like, if your dad marries her, he won't have time for you, or he'll have a new family and won't want you anymore...or you're not going to go stay with him if that 'girl' is living with him...etc.? Good Luck!! Just one other thing I'd like to comment on... Dyans World...you say My father didnt want to take care of me and left my mother, my father married someone else and had other kids, my father sucked. BUT my step daddy was the best thing that ever happened to me to this day he will always be my daddy and the bio can jump in a lake. Please know that I am saying this in the most heart felt way, and I mean no disrespect to your mother or 'daddy'... I don't know how old you were when your parents separated...but I know that for the past three and a half years my husbands ex has been telling his children (and anyone else who will listen) that he "didn't want them", that he "abandoned" them, even that he abused them. She has told them so many lies that these children, who used to crawl up on his lap and yell "Daddy! Daddy!" whenever they saw him, are now afraid of him, even though they wouldn't recognize him now if they saw him. (They were 1.5 and 3.5 when they were last together.) Mommy has remarried. She has the children calling her husband "Daddy" and refering to my husband, their bio father, by his first name, or as "Bad Daddy" (told to a therapist by daughter a year ago). I am fairly certain that she also tells them that it is my fault that he doesn't want to be with them, because we have a baby (their little brother, that they have never met). I cannot express to you the pain and sorrow, the depth of mourning that my husband has gone through, and still goes through when he thinks of his two children. They are so close to us, only five minutes away, yet they could as easily be in another country. We do not even know what they look like. I have cried, both with my husband, and for him, for the pain that he faces every day, and because of the knowledge of what his children, whom he loves very much, are being raised to think of him. We have been fighting, through the lawyers, for three and a half years, with no success, because we cannot give up, but in my heart I know that if we don't get to reestablish the relationship in the next five years, they will be lost to us. They are being so thoroughly poisoned against their dad. He has been vilified... that if they reach the age where they can tell the courts whether or not they want to go (around 12 or 13) before they get to know the loving, wonderful man that their father really is, they will never get to know him, and we will lose them forever. I mean no disrespect to your mom. And I'm not trying to downplay the significant role of the Daddy who raised you along side your mother, but sometimes things aren't what they seem. If you haven't heard your bio dad's side, from him, then can I please encourage you to try to contact him? You may find that this stranger, who left so long ago, has loved you and thought of you and mourned the loss of your relationship all this time. If that's true, try not to feel that he gave up on you...the courts are so biased against fathers...I know that it is such an emotionally draining battle...every letter from the lawyer is like a knife in the heart, when they tell you that you cannot see your children, and many people say, "Just let go" "Move on" or tell them that if they keep fighting for access they're just causing more turmoil for their kids "they're better off, if you just leave it alone" "they've adjusted to their new life" "you'll only upset them more". My husbands ex took the children and left, got a new beau, married him, and is trying to make her new "perfect family" with him, and writing out the past...and my husband with it. If you go and find your dad, you will never have the relationship you could have had, if you'd grown up with him in your life...the memories of our childhoods impact our bonds...but you still have the option to build a relationship from this point on. Somewhere out there, there may be a man who loves you and misses you, to this day. Kind thoughts. Verena

Mercy, have you got a lot on your plate! I admire your cheerfulness & perseverence. I think people have a wrong impression about "mental illness"; they think someone who has a brain disorder acts crazy, when really they usually act like anyone else, & their symptoms often do not include "acting crazy". As you say, bi-polar people can be fractious, argumentative, & unreasonable....& that sounds like a lot of other people as well. I think I might work on that part of the problem first. If he can realize that your daughter really does have a disorder, that she's not just being difficult or using her problems as a crutch, he can calm down & develop more reasonable expectations of her. & I think you're going to *have* to inhale, exhale, take a step backwards, & look after yourself. No one person can solve everyone else's problems, & if you kill yourself from the stress of trying, those grandchildren never *will* get to know & enjoy their grandmother. As far as your hubs's mother rejecting him... That would hurt anyone. but if he can look at the situation from the perspective of his adult self, he'll realize that she couldn't have been a good mother to him then (that's the reason he was adopted), & she still can't be a mother to him. She just doesn't have it. I'd say if he was brought up to be a good person & a responsible adult, & if he's found some uncles who adore him, he's a lucky person indeed. Take care.