Our approach may be a little different, but this is what we did to find our builder. Maybe it'll give you an idea of more questions to ask. Before we even visited with a builder, something we did was to go around and visit all of the spec homes that were on the market in our desired neighborhood. We just went around looking at design and quality of workmanship. We also had some bad weather come through and so then we drove out the next day to see what lots/roads (if any) were flooding. When we finally got around to interviewing builders, we asked questions about the neighborhood and what they would suggest for building on certain lots. For us, it was kind of telling that certain builders would just go ahead and build on certain lots. Some suggested bringing in a lot of fill which we didn't like. The builder we finally went with admitted that he didn't want to build on those lots because he thought they were too low and flooding would be an issue. Since, we had also gone through the spec houses previously, we had already scoped out potential problems. Our builder had gone back around and touched up paint drips and little things that didn't look right. (No house is 100% perfect.) One builder 'just noticed' a board that had been pulled off for over two weeks. This guy also built several houses over a one year period while the builder we went with only builds a few houses a year. We wanted someone who cared about the quality of his work. We also looked at functionality of the houses we went into. It's true that all of the builders can take a plan and build it, but we wanted someone who could look at a plan and would help us make changes because something didn't work right. For instance, if you have doors banging into each other or a 'dead' room, it's nice to get it corrected before the walls go up and you get to pay the price of a 'change order' or have to live the results. We showed up with a general house cost we were willing to pay. We detailed quality of finishes as compared to the spec house to see if the builder was able to build a house within the price range we were able to pay. We ended up on the lower price end of what our builder normally builds, but we haven't ended up with an inferior house. We've made sure that our house has good design. We'll upgrade finishes later if we decide we want it. Some of the common upgraded finishes really aren't functional within our daily lives. For instance, I have three elementary age kids. My kids would totally ruin a faux paint finish in the first month. It's popular in my neighborhood for bathrooms to have river rock pebbles in the showers. I am not a maid and I have no desire to clean soap scum out of the grout so we went with the easier cleaning options. When you're visiting houses with a game room upstairs, send the kids upstairs to play. See if the tromping of little feet over your head annoys you. Many of the houses in our neighborhood look like castles. We don't want or need a castle. All we really want/need is a ranch style house. We started with a box and had a designer add a few things to the exterior to make it look like we belonged in the neighborhood. The result is actually nice. We have a lot of people driving by and taking pictures of our house. I don't think in this economy that you'll have a problem finding a builder willing to go more simplistic in style. You're money coming in and if they want business, they'll work with that.

Dear all, I did bring up the suggestion of babysitting so they could have time together. As expected, it was declined. I didn't actually think of paying for the date. Some time with our grandchild is well worth the price of some movie tickets. Great idea. Fred doesn't seem to be fully aware of her hold on him. He has to wash his own laundry, pay the full rent etc... while being on full parent duty every moment he's not at work. He seems to think that the better father he can be that things will improve and be cured. We've purchased a book called: Grandparent's Rights: Your Legal Guide to Protecting Your Relationship with Your Grandchildren by Traci Truly Sourcebooks Inc 2006 My husband feels that things are so precarious with Tracey's strong hold over Fred that he is terrified to broach the subject. In the meantime we have be keeping a written log of contacts and visits just in case. The bursting into tears was comletely involuntary. I would take it back if I could. (Fred had reported back to her that I had cried. She uses this as a reason to be upset with me, saying that I overreacted, and that that was really immature.) Fred had been thrown out for the umpteenth time and had actually spent that week with us. We thought he was finally free of her. When he announced the news I saw his life before me -tied to her forever, constantly fearfully of upsetting her, manipulated, his own child used for leverage and power. Am I really sure that Fred is the father? No. Only she can know that. When he was here with us we both advised him to continue making his plans to be on his own and to get a DNA test, while still walking away. He protested money and we said we would pay. He wouldn't get the test, though his name is on the birth certificate. It is sad times here in our house. We have so much love to give. Technical Questins for Dana: I'm brand-new to this whole online thing. DH = dear husband? Dnephews =? Thank you for your responses.

Mason has evidently 'had it' with whatever was on DirecTV and wisely decided to take a nap instead. Phyllis, your Family Tree must require a whole wall! Congratulations!

FYI...this thread is linked in the "Other Items of Interest" topic in the "New to Kitchens? Read Me First!" thread. So, there shouldn't be a need to bump this thread up to the top and knock someone else's request for help today off the first page.