In a word, yes. Unlike steak, where they typically assume you want medium rare but will always ask, my experience is that tuna is assumed rare and that is how you are going to get it unless YOU ask for something different.

Sorry to hear it put a damper on your anniversary. Live and learn I guess.

Yes, many restaurants now serve tuna pan seared, and quite rare. Some restaurants serve other fishes at varying degrees of medium to rare. Salmon is often served "medium". It's always a good idea to ask your server before you order.

If you politely ask a server to take something back and cook it more and get a "look", you should speak to a manager. You pay too much for your meal in a nice restaurant to put up with any nonsense like that. Even now, after the fact, I would write a letter to the restaurant owner/manager (call and ask for his/her name) and tell them about your displeasure.

Having worked for & managed a fine restaurant for years, I can tell you that such letters are taken seriously.

The restaurant industry is a very competitive one. A customer happy with their experience will tell 3 people...a customer unhappy with their experience will tell 10. A good restaurant manager will do whatever they can to ensure that you don't leave the restaurant unhappy.

The letter may result in an offer of some sort of compensation for you on your next visit if you care to return to that restaurant. At the very least, it will ensure that the waiters are aware in future that there are many of us who don't care to eat their fish raw.

Don't feel bad about possibly getting the waiter in trouble. No good manager would fire a good waiter for one person's complaint alone. However, if multiple complaints have been made about him, that's another story, and there are surely people more deserving of his position.

Clare,

I agree wholeheartedly with rachelellen. DH will always let management know if anything about a meal is subpar. Almost 100% of the time he receives either immediate correction or, in the case of take-out, a gift certificate. That said, we also phone management when a meal was especially good with just a , "Thank you." Over time, management at our local restaurants have come to know us because of both our negative & positive feedback. Now, our service is 'almost' always perfect & the chefs have learned that Tricia also does not like raw tuna! :)

I'm sorry about your anniversay dinner but, please, do what rachelellen has suggested. You won't regret it.

/tricia

Thanks for the comments. We don't eat out much, just for special occassions like our anniversary. I don't blame the waiter, overall he was ok. He was very young and maybe never had someone send something back. I have only done it once before in all of my 56 years. I was surprised he didn't ask how I wanted it cooked. When we eat at the Santa Cruz Wharf, the waiters always ask. DH commented on that fact and also that they didn't say in the description that it would be "pan seared".
Clare

I was wondering about the menu description. Generally it is very clear when tuna is served in this manner. It indicates high quality tuna so is something to brag about on the menu. Perhaps they will be more thorough on the menu in the future!

I would have been upset if my tuna had been cooked all the way through - I prefer pan seared, but then that is usually mentioned on the menu. If not, then I ask before ordering. I generally ask several questions before ordering anything because I have a few peculiarities. If swordfish is on the menu, I always ask if it is fresh or previously frozen, and if it has been frozen, I won't order it, as it tends to be dry and tasteless. I also ask whether they use sweet pickles when making tartar sauce, as I hate sweet pickles.

Yesterday we had sushi and sashimi for dinner, which I love.

BTW, have you been to Phil's Fish Market in Moss Landing? They have Ahi on the grill menu, which generally means that it is seared, but the menu is not specific. I went there once on my way to Big Sur from San Francisco, but it was too early for lunch, and we had planned to have lunch in Big Sur. We drove through Santa Cruz, Aptos, and Monterrey.

Lars

"I would have been upset if my tuna had been cooked all the way through"

Same here.

It's a good way to turn a great piece of fish into cat food.

Harris Teeter sells wonderful sashimi grade tuna steaks and medallions.

I've been known to get 1.5 pounds of tuna steaks and eat a half pound for lunch, raw, with just lemon juice, sesame oil, and table water crackers.

I can recall several times, when out with business colleagues for dinner, when a member of our party was surprised that the tuna they ordered came rare.

I personally love rare tuna and would always expect it to be served that way. But seeing how many times I've witnessed the problem with this method of preparation, I don't understand why the server wouldn't ask how the customer would like it cooked, much like they would with steak.

I also wish restaurants would detail their menus a little better. I once ordered a coconut curry dish in a thai restaurant and upon my first bite realized that they had mixed tarragon into the curry. I hate tarragon, and every bite tasted of it.

Had I seen it mentioned on the menu, I would never had ordered that dish.

I'm not a big tarragon fan either. I'd have been disappointed, too. The tuna? Pan-seared rare works for me but it should be stated on the menu, me thinks.

I also think tuna is much like a good beef steak, and the waiter should ask how you like it done.

I like good beef extremely rare, and I like rare tuna, but that doesn't mean everyone does. I owned a bar and grille for years and a restaurant with all their different customers should acknowledge different tastes and ask. I admit, I cringe when people order well done steak, but that's their prerogative and if they're paying for it, they should get it the way they want it.

I'd probably write a letter of complaint to the management about the cold food your DH got as well as the lack of input you were allowed into the preparation of your dinner.

Annie

Every place that I have been cites "seared ahi tuna"...no mention of the doneness.
But having to say that ahi tuna is served rare is rather like saying that the 1/2 dozen oysters listed on the appetizers are raw, or that the beef Bourguinon will not be pink on the insids.
I frankly can't believe that you were not aware of that.
But as for the tarragon and I have heard people complain about cilantro, you can't expect every ingredient to be listed on the menu....especially with a blend like something called "curry". If there's something you hate, you need to ask. I have sent many a server back to the kitchen to ask "What kind of cheese?" "Is your soup made with a commercial base that contains MSG?" and" can I have the sauce/dressing on the side"?
I love tarragon! I make peas, cooked in a lettuce leaf seasoned with tarragon, oregano and butter! Yummy!
Sorry your dinner was less than you expected.
Linda C

I'm not big on tuna steaks, but I've been with people who've ordered it multiple times. And I've never seen them NOT ask how the customer wants it done. Or at least say something like, It will be red in the center, is that ok? I think the fact that they didn't ask is poor customer service.

To me it would be just like bringing your steak rare without first asking you. Sure, gourmets prefer their steaks rare and insist that's the only way to eat it. But that doesn't mean that you as a customer don't have the right to say "well done" if that's your preference.

The fact that they gave you a look and continuous bad service after that is their way of snubbing you -- your tastes are not discriminating enough for their la-de-da restaurant. In fact, the REALLY la-de-da restaurants are more about making their customers happy, even if that means cooking a food in a way that they would not like to eat it. The waiter should have apologized for not either asking or warning you, and the manager should have come over and asked if everything was to your satisfaction after the meal was re-served.

I don't care if they laugh their behinds off at me in the kitchen, but if they don't give me good service and the food as I want it, a restaurant does not deserve my business. I would definitely make the manager/owner aware of my dissatisfaction, and unless I got a very good apology, I would not go back.

I guess I am not sophisticated enough to appreciate raw tuna. I like my fish cooked. And at $30 dollars, I think I should have it cooked the way I WANT it. I don't care if that makes me a rube. In regards to the restaurant, even though we have been going there for over 10 years we noticed a big change this year in the menu, attitude and sevice and, IMHO, not for the better. We won't be going back there next year.

Lars - I have been to Phil's Fish Market in Moss Landing. I was not that wild about it. I like the SC Wharf restaurants more. You have your choice of very nice restaurants or just counter style where you can pick up chowder in a sour dough bowl to go.

Linda C - "But having to say that ahi tuna is served rare is rather like saying that the 1/2 dozen oysters listed on the appetizers are raw, or that the beef Bourguinon will not be pink on the insids. I frankly can't believe that you were not aware of that." All I can say is WOW. I wasn't expecting a personal attack. I guess I am not a food snob because I wasn't aware of that fact. And also I don't know if it was ahi or not, it didn't say it was on the menu. And like I said above, when I order it at the SC Wharf they ask how you like it. I guess that should have been a clue when he didn't ask. Now I know and I won't be ordering tuna again without asking.
Clare

Because tuna has very little fat, similar to swordfish, it is very easy to overcook. The increased interest in sashimi has pushed tuna onto the restaurant menus in a way that would have been unthinkable twenty years ago. I have noticed that restaurants are starting to drop the "seared" designation on tuna, under the assumption that most people now realize that it will come seared.

That does make it a little hard on folks who don't eat out often, not to mention that it's pretty difficult keeping up with a change of chefs/staff/menu anyway! Chefs these days play a lot of hopscotch, jumping from one restaurant to another.

A shame it spoiled your celebration, and hopefully you will find another favorite. But you need to realize, the trend in restaurants is to change their menus on a regular basis now, so the tuna you loved/hated today is going to be differently prepared than the one offered next year. I still have a hard time getting my DH to remember this, even though we regularly try new restaurants and bistros every week!

If a restaurant changes their menu, whether regularly or not, the waiter still needs to ask, in my opinion. Too many restaurants have decided we're darned lucky to eat there, and customer service suffers as a result.

I'm picky, I admit it, and I don't hesitate to send food back. I'm very specific in what I want. I want sauce or dressing on the side, I want beef just warm in the middle, I want the jalapenos left off the nachos, I want toast with no butter (nearly impossible to get around here!) and I make sure the server knows that. Then, when they screw it up (and about half the time they will), I send it back without batting an eyelash.

Frankly, I don't even enjoy eating out, although Elery likes to so I go along. I want things the way I like them, not the way some restaurant chef of the day has decided is fashionable. I'd rather just cook it myself most of the time.

Annie

jkom51 - That is why we eat out a lot less then we use to 20 years ago, maybe 2-3 times a year. Just don't like the trends.

Annie - Too many restaurants have decided we're darned lucky to eat there, and customer service suffers as a result. That is exactly the attitude that restaurant had and what we have seen at a lot of other restaurants over the last couple of years. I really don't enjoy eating out that much any more. The prices are ridiculous for what you get and, like with the tuna incident, you don't enjoy what you get. DH says I am a much better cook then almost every place we have been and I prepare it the way we like it. I love tuna grilled!
Clare

Clare, I didn't say before, but I'm sorry your celebration wasn't what it should have been.

Annie, believe it or not, a restaurateur who has any idea what they are doing would far rather you send something back than walk out dissatisfied. Ticking customers off on a regular basis is death to a restaurant.

I cannot tell you how many times over the years I had to drag a criticism out of a customer who was obviously not enjoying their meal because something was not to their taste or poorly prepared. And I worked in a very nice restaurant! But chefs are people, like anyone else, as are those who write the menus, and yes, the servers, and everyone is subject to error or just a bad day.

Clare, some customers will sabotage their own complaint by making it in a rude or aggressive manner, but I just don't believe that was the case with you. I think you got one of those waiters who gets his nose in the air because he's part of the "foodie elite" who know how things "should" be prepared. When I was training staff, that attitude brought tongue lashings from me, I can tell you. If you like your food prepared a certain way, you don't care (nor should you) what some foo-foo trend says about it, and you're the one paying for it anyway!

I used to have customers who ordered their prime rib well done and asked for ketchup. That is not the way that I would eat it, but then, I like it mooing at me and many wouldn't eat it like that!

Anyhow, I figured that since I have a secret penchant for Chef Boyardee's Beefaroni, I haven't the cheek to criticize the tastes of others! :D

rachelellen, ten years ago when I owned the restaurant, I would have agreed with you. Today, though, the attitude just seems to be bad. At least half the restaurants I have gone to in the last 6 months have had the atittude "this is how I cook it, so this is how you'll eat it".

Even some of the major chains now have the "no substitutions" attitude, it's not just the independents either. If I want a salad instead of fries I can't get that. I can get the salad as an extra item, but the sandwich comes with fries and I can get them or they'll leave them off but I can't get something else in their place. They'll make me pay for both, whether or not I want them or eat them.

Before I met Elery I didn't go out to eat a single time for nearly three years. Now I remember why, the restaurant business has not improved. Plus, having owned the place, and having a daughter who works as a waitress as Applebee's, I know what goes on in those kitchens!

Yes, I'd much rather eat at home. Now, if I could just get Ashley to wash the dishes after I cook, LOL, it would be perfect.

Annie

60 minutes had a segment about blue fin tuna and how the Japanese will pay thousands of dollars for a high grade tuna, depending on the fat content (preferable). I had the too raw tuna served to me in a very high end restaurant, big surprise to me as I'm not a sushi type and still enjoy my canned tuna sandwiches. I didn't send my seared tuna sandwich back but this is something that one must develop a taste for I've decided. Too bad your dinner was ruined. DH rarely enjoys restaurant food as he does not like to try unfamiliar foods or cooking methods. Not all restaurants really try to please their customers, rather think clients should appreciate their efforts more, especially if they deem themselves highly skilled. I'm easily pleased, am willing to try new dishes, but I maintain low expectations. I think I've cooked for myself too long.

It is funny because I like my beef medium rare, more on the rare side then medium, can't stand well done. My Dad always grilled it medium rare. DH likes it very well done. I asked him how he can eat it that way and he says that is how he got it growing up. So maybe that is it, the way you had food cooked when growing up.

I grew up in New England on the coast. My Dad loved to fish so we had fresh fish all year long, even in winter with ice fishing. And it was always prepared well done. I use to love fresh trout for breakfast, dipped in flour and S&P then fried in butter. Even the fish we caught in the ocean was either fried or baked till very done. Never had raw fish, so I guess that is why I don't like it. And I have tried it in the past. It must be an acquired taste.
Clare

I should have said, never had raw tuna steak. I have had it in sushi and wasn't wild about it.
Clare

Bottom line: it's your money, you should eat what YOU like.

The last few times that DH and I have gone out for dinner, which for us is extremely rare except for an occasional McDonalds for the kids, we have had not so great service and the food was awful. The last straw was when we went to the Outback and first Dh's steak was nothing but fat and gristle, and Even though I asked for the steak to be seasoned lightly( pepper and spices and gallstones don't mix) the meat came out so seasoned I couldn't eat it. I sent it back, and they brought the same steak back, cold and clearly they had just rubbed the seasoning off the steak. I raised heck on that one, we didn't pay for our dinner and got a gift certificate for 20 dollars.

My biggest problem is that we get our meat from my folks and I can't see paying 20 dollars for a t-bone, when I can go home and cook one just the way that I want it.

Stacie
girlsingardens

Annie, I've run into that attitude at a few trendy restaurants in San Francisco over the years. The Managers of those restaurants were not happy by the time I got done with them. In the "hot" restaurant of the moment one night, I was served squab that was almost raw, and even icy at the bone. My waiter pulled the nose in the air routine so I demanded the manager come to the table. He tried to say that squab is always served rare, to which I replied that I wasn't going to eat it rare, let alone frozen, and invited him to put his finger into my squab and see what icy blood felt like for himself. :D

Stacie, I don't like corporate chain restaurants. They simply don't have the real desire to please their customers. I swear that waiters will refuse to do something special for a customer simply because they don't know how to enter it into the computer.

I have a client who at one point had to stick to a very strict diet. She went to an Applebees with some friends and explained that she had to have something with no fat, no meat and no dairy. There wasn't anything on the menu she could order, and just wanted to know if she could get some steamed vegetables and maybe some pasta with a bit of chicken stock and herbs. They must have had all the ingredients, but just didn't care to accommodate her needs.

Owner run restaurants do much better in my opinion, because they look at their customers as individuals rather than as numbers/percentages/profit.

I ran into the opposite, my salmon was over cooked on several of our visits to a favorite restaurant and the waitress recommended I ask for it "not to be burned" next time. And it's been perfect ever since, but now they've changed chefs and the salmon isn't as good as it used to be so I've found another favorite.