I think you did the correct thing. But, I am in the South & hospitality is everything here!! Mother raised in the Delta. Never ever would we ask someone to take off their shoes, you are always asked if you would like something to drink & if lunch or dinner time is approaching....one is always asked to join. I realize there are many regional/cultural differences here & they will be expressed.

I strongly believe my house is MY house....kids come in with muddy shoes - dogs muddy paws - lots of scratches on the HW floors from kids, dogs & people. Right now the kids are running & sliding & leaving rubber skid marks. Yes, it drives me crazy but I figure I won't have this forever & it is FUN!! Before I know it my house will be empty of these ratty little boys & I will miss it.

I can't wear spike heels anymore...but am considerate if I have walked thru mud/grass & will remove my shoes before I walk into someone's home. It is usually winter so I will have on socks & I keep my feet pedicured anyways.

If you asked her to remove her shoes, then you would have had to ask everyone to remove their shoes.

Smiles:)

Thanks for letting me know that if I get hardwood floors, I may have to put a rug temporarily down until a client with spiked heals leaves. I guess no floor is perfect but I love how clean hardwood floors are and the way they look.

I'm past the age of letting things pass. Walking on hardwood with spike heels is as reckless as walking on carpet with muddy shoes. If the guest doesn't have enough sense it's up to you to fill her in.

No one I knows wears really high spike shoes, so I can't say what I'd do. But did they not have any rubber bottoms? Am I being naive here - normal high heel shoes will leave marks on wood floors? How much did this woman weigh? Was she clomping around? :-)

Maybe you could next time ask her if she'd like to put some slippers on (get some new ones for guests) because you had the floors waxed and are concerned she'd slip in her lovely high heels. If she says no thank you at least she'll tiptoe around because she's afraid she's going to fall! :-)

I guess that I don't understand having flooring that you can't live with and let anyone walk on. To me, the charm of wood floors is not the shiny, glass-perfect ones, but the burnished, textured, interesting ones that show that people have lived and passed through a place.

And while I was not raised in the South, I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes.

The young lady was here for the holiday dinner/festivities so she walked all over the first floor so there wasn't much sitting. Natal, I should have probably mentioned it to her bc she is young and is not familiar with hardwood. But then I did what Scooby would have done.
I was just asking in case it happens again.

I keep my shoes in good repair, and would never wear a shoe with a heal exposed (ie the plastic comes off and a nail or screw like piece of metal is left coming out of the spike). It's this that damags a wood floor, and only an idiot wouldn't know that. Rude guests are an unfortunate part of entertaining. I wouldn' say anything, but I also wouldn't invite her again.

Normal heels, spike or not, wouldn't damage a wood floor. I used to wear spikes all the time and never damaged my own. But again, I keep my shoes in good repair, and you can't go one step without knowing you've lost a rubber piece, so that's not an excuse.

That said, Thomas just had a major crash off of the table onto the wood floor..he left a scratch, he'll leave more...it's wood :) It will live LOL

This is kind of one of the nice things about living where taking your shoes off indoors is a benefit though :)

Les, wood floors and heels do not mix. It doesn't even have to be spike heels. I was abhorred the first time I walked in heels on my own floors and realized what I'd done. Like I said, it's the same as walking on carpet in muddy shoes.

Natal, I guess I don't see the comparison. Walking on carpet with muddy shoes can stain the carpeting, and must be cleaned. Walking on a wood floor leaves marks, but not dirt or stains, or anything that harms the floor. Any wood floor gets scratched and marked every day with use, and that to me is the charm of them. But to each their own.

My house has carpeting most everywhere, and I still would never ask a guest to take off their shoes. That is why we have places to wipe off shoes outside the door, and again in the entry way. But if there should be some dirt that gets on the carpeting, that to me is the price you pay for living in a space. Now, if someone prefers to remove their shoes, that is fine. But they won't ever hear me ask.

Les, heels leave dents. The only way to remove them is by sanding. I guess if you've never lived with wood floors it would be hard to comprehend.

I've never asked a guest to remove their shoes, but I'm grateful when common sense dictates that it's a good choice.

I don't want this thread to become a heated debate. I just know that when some localities have a parade of homes they write on the ad "No high heels".
I don't know whether my floors are just soft (it is Bruce Hardwood) but there are pit marks where she walked. The heels were part of her outfit. I have told my two DD's that they are not to wear spike heels on anyone's hardwood including mine.
Les, I know the floor does get worn and knew that when I bought it and like I said I still love the floors and each time I wash them and see the punctures I will think of this young lady! LOL

I was just posting this thread to find out if anyone has had that problem. Maybe it's just my floors.

I am reading this with interest. We went from an older home with real hardwood in the LR, foyer & DR to a newly built home with Laminate hardwood. I know at times at the old house on the older hardwood, we dressed up for graduations , Easter, etc. & had pictures took in front of the mantle in the LR. Of course a rug was down too but I never realized real hardwood would be that fragile. When you dress up in the South (I'm a Delta person- LOL!) that means heels - :) What about boots? Does that hurt real hardwood too? Laminate wood I haven't had any of those things happen & at times, I come in with boots with a heel & walk around for a minute or so before I change or dress for church & walk around with heels on. Never anythng on laminate wood happens. Is real hardwood softer?
Bonnie

These were boots (I think) but they had spike heels - not normal high heels that women usually wear - think spikey spikey heals. I have had many guests who wore nice high heels and nothing happened but it was the spiked ones that did it.
I was just wondering if anyone else had this happen.

Actually, natal, I grew up in a house with hardwood flooring. It's not that I don't understand the marks that are left, I guess I just figure it is a part of choosing wood flooring and living with it. Just as choosing carpeting has up and down sides to it.

However, I understand that what would be an issue for some is no biggie for someone else, and I respect that people need to do what they feel is right in their home.

I have to agree with others who said they would NOT ask a guest to remove their shoes. Floors are for walking on. High shoes and dirty shoes are not the same thing. If I invite women to my home (all hardwood here)for a dressy occasion, I do not expect them to wear rubber soled flats/generic "slippers", or to traipse around in their stocking feet. Nor do I want to concern myself with my guests' footwear during a party (they're meant to be fun!)

It's hard to see something that you've invested a lot of time and money in become imperfect for the first time. However, a few nicks in your floor is a small price to pay for the company of friends, family, and loved ones.

I must say that I have never noticed heel marks in our floors - however that may just be well camouflaged :)

Lucy

I just paid eight grand for new hardwood floors. To some that isn't a lot of money but for me it was and if someone came in with spikes (those four or five inch narrow ones) I think I would say "oh nooooooooo, I just had brand new floors put in and I'm worried that they'll make dents" because that's how I would feel. I llove the look of aged wood but brand new with dents all over is awful.I would ask if they would kindly take them off. Most people would be more than glad to do that. I went to a party today and everyone wore boots due to the weather but they all brought extra shoes so the boots wouldn't soil the floors. Both ways are right, there is no right or wrong. It's a personal choice. If I were in my other house with the 125 year old floors it wouldn't bother me a bit. It would just add to the charm. JMO.

I agree that there is no right or wrong here. If it bothers you, I think it's wrong to put up with it and be bothered. Were I your guest, I'd much rather be asked. I've been asked to take my shoes off in some homes before, and I simply accept it as the hostess's choice. I've never been wearing spiked heels. They usually just say, "We take our shoes off at the door. Would you mind?" Some might add, "Would you like some slippers?"

I've been reading this thread with fascination, though. I had a wood parquet floor in my last house but I never worried about it except for moving furniture, and it didn't tend to show much. Basically, I never lived over wood floors before and I'm having engineered wood installed Monday.

So I'm wondering... how much should I worry about them? How much damage have your floors taken? Do you take your own shoes off in the house? Do you get frantic over the length of your dogs' nails?

Do any of you wish you'd been either more or less careful with your wood, laminate, or engineered floors?

First let me say that I love my hardwood floors but they are not perfect.
How would you handle a guest who arrives with spike heels? I didn't say anything even though I wanted to ask her to take them off bc of the floors.

After reading all the threads after this,what kind of wood is it? Must be pine or some kind of engineered wood as our oak floors from the 20's do not dent or show spike heel marks.

"it has been projected that a two-ton car exerts only 28-30 pounds per square inch of pressure on its supporting surface, a full grown elephant 50-100 PSI, but a 125-pound woman as much as 2,000 PSI when taking a normal step. ThatÂs because the ladyÂs heel measures only about 1/20th of a square inch in size. Her weight is concentrated in a tiny area and therefore its effect is multiplied many times."

an elephant would do less damage, lol....................

Funny Mitch & so very true - the entire time I'm reading this thread I kept thinking about the moron that moved my upright piano yrs ago. A piano typically will have little wheels on the legs - they are NOT ment for moving a piano across a hw floor - for the very psi reason. A professional piano mover has a dolly with large rubber wheels - same w/appliances like refrig w/little wheels - the weight needs to be distributed

Sorry about your floors - no I would not ask someone to remove their shoes - even though we are a no shoes house. When I had a brunch a few weeks ago, everyone removed their shoes, unsolicited - most brought different shoes to wear once they arrived.

My house was built in 1966 and has red oak hardwood flooring.

I have no dents from heels.
Over 40 years of people walking on them, and no dents from heels.

Sounds like the OP's floor is not a 'hardwood' after all, to me!

Generally I am a house-is-meant-to-be-lived-in type of person. But spike-heeled shoes are another matter - as mitchdesi's post explains.

It is altogether possible that the young woman has not a clue to what she is doing and would be horrified by the damage she is creating. If I had a wood floor in pristine condition, I would take her aside and quietly explain the problem. Then I would give her options - ask her to tip toe on the hardwood, offer to lay down some area rugs, or mention that there are clean slippers in the closet.

If a man with diminished mental skills was about to enter my house with greasy, grimy, clay-caked boots on, I would do the same thing.

It is the guest's lack of knowledge of the damage he/she is about to create that would cause me to act.

And, by the way, Les917, that was a lovely comeback. I don't know that I could have been so gracious in my response.

Know what hit me when we were choosing our wood floors last week? The problem we have about someone scratching the floor (me, it's my big dog), is that the floors are new and SHINY..where every little scratch may show up.

I grew up with wood floors, and not once did I worry about a scratch, because they were almost everywhere and it gave the house character. Look at all the old homes with wood floors, they're worn, scratches here and there, and they're stil lovely.

So we decided if Grace does backflips when one of us comes home and puts a scratch in the floor, so be it.

You did the right thing. :)

oh what a hard lesson this was to learn! here's my experience, though it's not about the high heels exactly...
i did my research and spent the money on bamboo floors the summer of 2007. i got the entire downstairs and staircase done in the java color, which is beautiful and wears like iron.
until october, that is, when my mom passed away and we had the repast at home. a kindly neighbor borrowed two dozen chairs and set them up all over the living room and dining area and we had plenty of seating for all of our guests.
but the next day when he arrived to take them all away, i burst into tears in disbelief when we realised that every chair and shoe had left huge scratches everywhere they were placed.
i was on the phone within minutes to the bamboo company, who very nicely told me to read the fine print on my warrenty.
while bamboo is very hard and withstands dents very well, the finish is fairly delicate!! and not covered by the warrenty!!!
i have not yet tackled the refinishing i need to do, fro lots of reasons, but i am surely more relaxed than i was before my mom's funeral about the floors!
when i put in the floors, i also bought a dozen pairs of slippers for guests--not one adult was willing to take off their shoes, but every person under thirty did so without prompting.
i give up!

I remembered this etiquette re: stilettos on the entertaining forum..........

western, we're talking tiny tips on very high thin heels, not just any heels.

Here is a link that might be useful: should I have said something ?

We have hardwood floors, no heel *puncture* marks that I know of. Normal shoes, even spike heels, should not leave *dents*. Like Igloochic said, if the shoes are in need of repair, that could happen.

I don't do the kind of entertaining in my home where someone would be wearing spike heels, LOL!

tina

Even heels that *are* in good shape can leave dents, and they don't even have to be spike heels. I have a pair of heels that are I've barely ever worn, as I realized that I left small dents all the way down my hall. I wore them to the flip house we re-did, and I screwed up those floors, too. If the heel is very narrow, they *will* leave dents, and it doesn't even have to be exposed or broken.

At my own house, since the floors we installed have that hand-scraped look, I don't mind the dents. But at the flip house, the flooring was solid oak, and the dents were much more noticeable. Thankfully I'd messed them up before we refinished them.

That said, I don't know what I do in that case. I tend to be more of the "it's a home and not a museum" mindset, but if I'd just installed them and the dents would be greatly noticeable, I may have to think fast and offer to attach some felt tips or something!

Ditto on the classy response, Les. You're a great gal.

The problem with stiletto type heals is often the cheaper kinds don't have a rubber pad at the end, but rather a hard plastic that does nothing to soften the several thousand lbs added from a person walking on it and this hard plastic tends to wear with rough edges and unevenly which is likely what caused the dents.

We had friends visiting for a little while a week ago and she had on those heals as well, but I've found no damage from them on our floors. They didn't walk around a lot though and I haven't specifically looked for damage either. I think we've probably created more damage ourselves.

The next time she's planning on coming over, you should be able to nicely mention that you'd prefer if she didn't wear her high heels in advance of her arriving.

When my floors were new I was so worried about my in-laws dogs coming over and scratching the floors. Now I've got my own dog and I don't think about it twice. She has scratched the floor a bit by the back door, but has never actually scratched through the finish.

That being said, if I thought someone's shoes were creating craters in my floor, I would find a nice way to bring it to their attention.

Has anybody watched American Beauty lately??

Great movie....anyways...Kevin Spacey & Annette Benning are so far apart in their marriage & lives - they start somewhat making out on the sofa after what appears to be years of an "appearance of a marriage" - his beer looks like it is going to spill & she flips - stating it is a $4,000 Italian silk sofa. Drives more of a wedge between them. Yes, it is just a movie but I so do not want to be that person!!

I have worn high heels on my HW's & no dents. I know what you are talking about with spikey heels, thou & can't wear those!! ouch. I am sorry, Hoyamom about your floors...but still think you did the right thing. Just get a big ole dog & those dents will be nuthin'!!

And Les, you could be from the South. Come on down...you'd fit in just fine:)

Smiles:)

I don't think I could consciously let someone walk around doing permanent damage to my house no matter how much I want to be polite. Dents in floors are something that can't be easily fixed, and are utterly avoidable.

Of course I'm the woman who stopped my BIL at a holiday party a few years ago when he attempted to bring in several banged up lawn chairs complete with jagged metal legs to place on my brand new wooden floors while we opened gifts. I hope I wasn't terribly rude but I quickly said 'oh, let's just bring in some dining room chairs instead' (which of course already had pads on the legs).

OTOH at another office gathering a few years before I had the wood floors, one of the more idiotic coworkers* I've ever known stepped in dog mess outside and proceeded to walk into the foyer, all the way through my carpeted living room and into the KITCHEN to tell me 'oh, I"ve got a problem'. I was plenty steamed but stayed polite as I cleaned up the mess on my carpet. My husband even spent almost an hour scrubbing the woman's shoe off in the garage sink.

Ann

*I once saw this woman get hopelessly confused trying to put pre-alphabetized name tags on a table. Last month I mentioned calling the School of Communication about something and she asked me if it was part of Information Technology, because telecommunication must be the same department as communications.

Obviously a sensitive subject...

First, I can say that *I* had never thought of the kind of damage high heels might do to a wood floor until joining this forum. I have owned two homes with bruce h/w flooring. In addition, my sister (a very fussy interior designer) had site-finished oak flooring in her home for 15 years. She also raised two girls through their spikey-heeled teenage years in that home. I knew her floor was delicate -- any spills must be cleaned up promptly or they would leave a mark in the finish. Dropped olives left oily marks. Chair legs were carefully adorned with thick felt feet. However, the topic of heel dents was never mentioned. So, I wouldn't necessarily call anyone "rude" for not thinking of this when choosing their party footwear to wear in someone else's home.

Having said that, I do know that marks were made in my Bruce floors from various things. The most noticible was when the wheels on the fridge left tracks. That made me sad for a moment, and then I moved on. To my knowledge, no one else ever noticed my fridge tracks, and I quickly forgot about them too. It was also never mentioned by anyone who looked at my home when I was selling it. They just loved the h/w floors.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I understand each person has the right to dictate what they want in their own home. In my opinion, however, a good host is a gracious host who doesn't set many "rules" for their guests. I, for one, will not likely frequent a home that makes me uncomfortable.

You did the right thing in my opinion. I think if you let yourself, you'll forget about your dents before long.

Yes, thank you all - I am moving on and like I said before, I didn't want to get into a heated debate...we are all friends in design.

I ask people in spikes to remove their shoes. They respect my request and really don't mind. I serve good food so it's a small price to pay. LOL All other heals are leave ons.

I made the mistake of wearing a pair of heals that I did not realize needed new heals. I have too many marks to count. I don't sweat it just don't want more.

This is a tough one, because, after the fact, when you saw that your worries about the heels were validated, you probably wish you had said something. But when she walked in, you probably didn't know if you were overreacting or not?

I'm of the opinion that a gracious host should be always kind and thoughtful of their guests, and try very hard not to make anyone feel ill at ease or at fault for a mishap. (So, if a guests spills wine on my good white tablecloth or even on my sofa, I'm going to tell them not to worry and I'm going to clean it up with no fuss.) But a good guest should be thoughtful of their kind host and the fact that they are invited to someone's home........and should be careful not to do anything to cause distress. (The story of the woman with the 'poo shoes' told by runninginplace is absolutely a perfect example of guest stupidity. Also, when a guest's child started to poke a ball-point pen into the leather sofa at a house where I lived as a child, my Mother told her in a stern tone to stop it. And then, told the mother of the child what her teen daughter was doing. I would do the same, I'm afraid.)

I think that a spirit of reasonableness needs to obtain here. If you see that someone is doing something that will cause a definite stain or damage, think how YOU would feel if you accidently discovered that you were the one who damaged your friend's chair/sofa/table/carpet/floor. Would you want that person to make a tactful and quiet comment to you to avoid the problem? For example, we all expect some wear and tear on carpet. We have carpet cleaner on hand to blot a spill or stain. And we may even have to pay a pro to clean up after a party if there were a lot of muddy shoes coming in the door. But a guest who has walked through poo or even an oil spill on the road outside, needs to be (kindly and tactfully) stopped in their tracks before they ruin carpet.

I think that I might have let it go hoping for the best. But if I saw the dings happen, (carefully watching the girl's progress through my house) I might have said something like "Doggone these wood floors! They are so soft that even your cute boots leave a little mark!" Then, you hope that the thoughtful Southern guest offers to pull off her boots for the remainder of the party. Or at least, walks more softly...

Red

"western, we're talking tiny tips on very high thin heels, not just any heels."

So was I...
ALL kinds of heels over the years!

Les,
As others have noted, I'm grateful for your insight to things that I can't seem to quite get. I love to read your responses, your keen eye, expert decorating/spacial sense brings much to this board. Your delivery makes one receive it - not necessarily they heed your advice, but it is received. You have always noted that "it is your home, do what makes you happy". Even in the eyes of controversy, you rise above the fray - Classy lady - Thanks again Les for all you bring to this forum!

I'll just bet the young woman would rather have been asked to remove her shoes than know she could mar your wood floors with her spike heels. It's just quite possible she would feel very bad knowing she had permanently damanaged someones floor. ;o)

Sorry, I'm unable to comprehend this issue. :) Not only have I never lived with hardwood floors, I don't think I know anyone who wears stilleto/spike heels. My home is shoes off and anybody who knows me and visits knows that and since their homes are too, it all works out. Since I live in Oregon, we're more about wool socks.

I do dream of having hardwood floors someday so I think I stick with a distressed finish, just incase.

Since you say you should think about your guest's comfort first, maybe you would have been doing her a favor by asking her to take them off. Her feet were probably killing her! LOL.

I would have asked her to take them off, and let her borrow some wool socks, which would have looked lovely with, what I imagine, was a very fashionable outfit. :) :) I guess I wouldn't make it in the South, would I?

I just have to weigh in here. High heels in poor repair leave dents in the floor. I routinely discard my daughter's heels for this very reason. I have southern roots. Decorum does not mean allowing others to damage your home. I would offer slippers or a clean pair of footies. And I have done so. Most mentioned that they also have a no shoes rule.

I have been asked to remove my boots and/or heels, never bothered me. I always wear decent socks when we go somewhere just in case.

I agree completely with Lucy111 above.

My two daughters (currently living at home) both wear spiked high heeled shoes. I don't. My floors have not been damaged by their heals. The red oak floors is very hard.

Several years ago, we had heart pine floors and had a babysitter come in with high heels (go figure!) and she left a trail of little pock marks all over the house. I just chucked it up to character and let it go. It was nothing worse than what the cats did to the dining room table, or the dogs nails did to the floors, not to mention what the children have done to our houses over the years. :)

Humor my sarcasm,please...

i ask the following to remove their footwear -
anyone in
1. high heels
2. rollerblades
3. ice skates
4. sprinting shoes with spikes
5. tar boots

guess, its back to the shoes or no shoes thread that was missing for a few months :)

I have to tell you that I used to be pretty ignorant of the fact that such heels would leave marks in some floors. As a guest, I would not be offended if asked to take them off (granted I don't wear spiky heels). In my house, we put reclaimed heart pine in our living room. When it arrived, dh noted that it was much smoother than he was anticipating. The 4 kids remedied that quite quickly.

I'm so sorry about your floors. Sounds like you were very kind and kept things in perspective. I know heels can damage real hardwood floors. Happened to my boss in his beautiful home at the office Christmas party, happened to me when I just had a pampered chef show to help a friend-it was her box of goods that damaged mine. Anyway when we had the floors refinished recently, the one piece of unsolicited advice my floor refinisher told me was not to have formal parties, so women would not wear spiked heels.

"Decorum does not mean allowing others to damage your home."

Mzdee, that is perfect! Exactly what I was trying to say but you phrased it just right-at least you phrased it the precise way I feel on this issue :).

Ann

Well I personally keep several pairs of IdealHeels in my home for guest that do arrive wearing stilettos. This product works miracles on my hardwood floors. I wear them as well when I am walking around the house with heels on. IdealHeels are virtually unnoticeable and slip on and off without a hassle. Why don't you check them out?

Their website is: www.idealheel.com

Hope this helps!