My husband isn't interested in me but masturbates & watches porn!
lonelyheart
14 years ago
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asolo
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agolonelyheart
14 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Husband Not Interested in Sex
Comments (77)Wow,I definetly dont feel alone after reading everyone's thoughts on this.I am 33 years old, and I am to the point where I am very frustrated with my marraige and my husband. I have been married for three years, my husband has no desire in making love to me, or correcting the problem. He tells me he is going to make things better, but it never happens...instead, he prefers to drink his beer every night and go to bed. I have tried to get him to stop drinking, but he is an alcoholic..and it just made things worse, so I gave up. I am so fed up, but I do love him. I am not a cheater, so I have asked myself many times...Do I just need to go ahead and get out? I know three years isnt a long time compared to some of you ladies, but I feel the same way as yall when it comes to the pain and anger. I have cried many times because I feel I am not pretty enough, good enough exct. He had a great sex life with his ex wife...and she is anything but what I am. I have constantly tried to talk to him about it, we have tried the counseling thing, books, lingire, ext. In my past relationship, I was used to being one over, and made love to, but my husband cant even touch me...Uggggh. Im really to young to have to deal with this crap, but I dont want to leave because I love him, and I dont look forward to the pain I will have to go through when I do leave.....This isnt fair. I have tried to just take care of me, and play all the little mind games, but you guys see where it got me. He is laying next to me sleeping, and Im posting in a forum for women with this problem.....I feel sorry for all of us. After all we do for them,you would think that they could give us a little of their time. Geeze. Any more advice on how to deal with this? I have enjoyed reading some of the other posts....See MoreMy husband lies about watching porn & hasnt been intereated in me
Comments (25)Okay, speaking from personal experience, usually when a guy starts looking at porn it's because they aren't getting certain things they might sexually be interested in or there is a more deep seated issue in the relationship. People also usually only hide things for one of three reasons. 1) They are trying to protect someone they care about but we can pretty safely rule this out since he knows that you know. 2) They are afraid of negative consequences and since you have already likened porn to cheating {which is a bit mental if you ask me} he is likely afraid that admitting he has a fairly natural urge will cause him to lose you. 3) There is some shame in their actions and honestly, I hate to say it because people are going to yell that I'm blaming tyhe victem when I'm not, it's most likely you that's causing him to feel that shame. Your view on porn makes it taboo which is always both tantalizing and shameful. I have to ask this and no you don't have to answer, just think about my questions. 1) Have you ever considered using porn to spice up your love life with him? Consider putting on a porno while you and he are laying in bed together and just see if you can't get him to stand at attention for you. Use the thing you don't necessarily like to get the "thing" you really want. 2) Ever tried looking at what he searches and maybe, if your comfortable with it, incorporate one or two of those things into your love life? If it's something he enjoys then why not enjoy it with him? You both get what you want at that point which shows compromise and compromise is one of the basic building blocks to any relationship. 3) Consider this, if you two do the same thing every time you two get together then isn't it possible he's just a little bored? Not bored of you but bored of the same position you two make love in or even just bored of thesurroundings. Get a babysitter for the night and have a romantic evening to yourselves but don't go home. Rent a hotel room and have fun there. It would help to break him out of the rut that he may feel his life has gotten into. Do not take this as a strike against you, sometimes guys just get tired of the same thing over and over again. Mind you, I stress that you remember these are only suggestions to help you make your marraige stronger and help you grow as a couple. Feel free to ignore my advice as you please but remember that I've been in a position I think might be similar to the one he is in and I'm simply sharing with you what I myself have dealt with personally....See MoreI'm not a neat cook and my sink isn't that big!
Comments (48)I REALLY wish GW had better search features - like, a lot of people here know your kitchen plans, while others (like me), don't. Sorry. It sounds like you live on a farm and want a country kitchen. Well, I'm from the Northeast - and Soapstone has been used here - in farmhouses - for CENTURIES! Ditto wide plank pine floors. That being said, if you are going with dark cabinets, it may be too dark for your tastes. Personally, I LOVE retro tiled countertops, but a LOT of people hate them because grime gets in the grout. If you go with tile make sure NOT to use white grout - impossible to keep clean (even if sealed). I love wood counters too, but still I would never put them next to a sink or stove - I really want to be able to put a hot pot on my counter without needing a trivet. And, well, even though I am obsessed with Tung Oil, and yes, it has been used for centuries to waterproof boats, it will need to be re-applied too often if wet dishes are left on it - therefore it is more work than I intend to do in my new kitchen. My main countertops will be soapstone or concrete simply because they require the LEAST amount of maintenance in the long run and only get better with age and wear. If you like gray but soapstone is too dark, ordinary gray Portland Cement (no color added) works, but it is more modern. Ground / wet-sanded to a fine polish and dirt won't get stuck in the pores. I'm not even planning on sealing mine if I go that route - why bother - I have no intention of re-sealing it at a later date. And hey, if sidewalks aren't sealed and I'm not planning on walking with muddy boots on my counter, any "dirt" will only add to the patina! I also LOVE stainless counters with integrated sinks - but they are expensive. My Grandmother had this as the countertop on the sink side of her kitchen and butcherblock everywhere else - it was a VERY country kitchen with pine cabinets and brick floors and it worked! This is by far the LEAST maintenance countertop choice. I'm going to have to compare costs of this vs. soapstone with a sink cut-out - it might just work out to be the same cost, but I already have a lot of stainless, so it will probably feel too cold in my kitchen. If I go with charcoal grey base cabs, maybe, if I go with stainless base cabs, no way! As for sinks, do yourself a favor and get a big DEEP sink! But fireclay or porcelain enamel over cast iron is NOT the best choice - chips too easily. I actually have a giant antique Art Deco double-bowl sink with a drainboard that clips over either bowl; one bowl is 8" deep, the other is 15" deep - but I really don't want to put it in the new kitchen because it already has a couple nicks in it and I don't want to have to worry and carfeully "place" my dirty pots and pans in it. I think I'll just buy a big stainless farmhouse sink instead and not worry about ruining the finish....See MoreThis isn't really related to my house but....
Comments (18)I think we live in such a toxic world that being cautious about materials in toys, and ingredients in food are so important. I try to buy U.S. made toys and the best food I could possibly find. I even have considered making my cat food and freezing the portions, but unfortunately most of the supplements are made in China nowadays....even people supplements. I'm still looking into it. I had the opportunity to talk with the vet about Thomas a couple of days ago, as I took Bella in to be checked. She is 8 years old and wasn't doing too great after Thomas died. Thank goodness she received a perfect bill of health. She is going through a grieving process as well. She is doing much better now and being snuggly. Basically, the vet said that jaw cancer seems to be more common in dogs, but rare in a cat. There isn't much information as to causes. However, Thomas had some teeth in the past that become infected, and she said that chronic inflammation is a known cancer causer. That poor kitty endured 4 dental surgeries all together to get those bad teeth out, but he was a happy kitty and I'm thankful for the extra time it bought us. At the time, decisions were made with a cat specialist vet to save what looked to be healthy teeth and only take anything out that was infected. In hindsight, maybe taking them ALL out in the beginning may have made a difference. Some cats have teeth issues from day one and when they get them all out do much better. Then again, maybe not. We won't know for sure, and at the time we made the best decisions possible. Unfortunately, jaw bone cancer was something that couldn't be fixed. I am very thankful I have all my other kitties. They are all precious to me, and have been a source of comfort. I have had a hard time sitting at the computer because Thomas would always lie down next to me on the arm of the couch. It has been very, very empty there and it hit me hard a few days ago. The next day one of the kitties parked himself there. Bella came the day after that and satyed with me. There is usually a kitty now when I am on the computer. I am positive that Thomas had something to do with that! Each day gets a little easier...the pain a little less, and the memories bring a smile. There will always be a little ache in my heart though. I miss him. I will always miss him. Sandy...See Moreasolo
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