Not rude at all... I turn down stuff I don't want even if it's a great deal or value. From another soapy, stick to your guns!

I think having the other guy there really helped the situation. You thanked him and explained what you were waiting for. I think it's okay.

I don't think so - and from your past posts on here I'd say you aren't one to do that.

if you want soapstone, you should get soapstone. you've sure worked hard and long to have it the way you want it to be!

No, you weren't rude. And you thanked him. He was a little rude for shaming you (unless he was teasing).

There is no Law of the Universe that states you must accept all favors offered.

From what I read, I do not think you were rude. It is hard to say how the first guy heard it. Voice tone can sound different to everyone. The second fellow seems pretty perceptive and observant. He seems to understand the way you function and appreciate you being truthful.

It is not being picky if you are willing to wait, work, and save in order to get your dream. Keep going. GWers are rooting for you! You are a kind heart who deserves support and cheers. i'm all for you getting your soapstone. :)

I was just thinking about you this past week, wondering how things were and how I hadn't seen many recent posts. Glad to see this post! You were being honest and that's hard to fault.

Also.... if you tell enough people what you're looking for, someone just might come up with a (soap) stone you would like. Hope it's sooner than later!! Best, oldbat2be

Not rude at all - or picky. Would it be rude to turn down apple pie if you were on a diet? To pass on a free dress if you hated the color?

It's too bad the guy was offended, but I definitely feel it was him, not you. Your other friend was sweet to back you up the way he did. Hang in there!

You are not allowed to be selective about what you want in your own house? I think he is the one being picky and rude. He had a lot of nerve saying something like that. If you were male, I think it would have been a non-issue.

Thumbs up to the other guy for speaking up.

No way - not rude at all!

Not rude at all - in fact, it's good of you NOT to take it since someone else might want it and benefit from it.

If you thanked him for thinking of you and explained that you had something else in mind, that should be enough. I might have added, "while it's not right for me, I'm sure that you'll have no problem finding someone else who will be absolutely thrilled."

He seems to be of the opinion of, "beggars can't be choosers", but here's the thing...you aren't begging, he was offering. It's completely acceptable (and respectable) to politely refuse an offer that doesn't suit you. You did the right thing.

Some people think you should be thankful for ANYTHING they give you. The other guy explained it perfectly.

Good to hear from you. Any new projects?

Thank you, all.
Lots of support on that one. I appreciate the validation!

Oldbat2be, thanks for thinking of me!

I do think the fellow got it after someone else explained it, vs. me trying and sounding like I was back pedaling.

debrak2008, I've been working on my MBR cabinets. I'm almost done. I've built drawer fronts and doors out of pallets, painted some, and just generally created something with a lot of visual interest vs. a solid wall of matching cabinets.

My plan is to start on the kitchen cabinets when this is done. Did I mention here I gave all my upper cabinets to my SIL? Yeah... they weren't speaking to me. So, that project is in the works, and the cabinets where I'm making the doors out of my wine crate panels will come next.

I'm trying to learn to accept "good enough" from myself, vs never finishing anything because it isn't perfect. But the "for now" part will never pass my sultry lips. HAHAHa

Oh - and I did have my back porch concrete poured. It's beautiful and smooth (except where my dog moved her gate and jumped down on to the curing concrete) and clean. No more mud hole. Yeah!! This is a big deal for me. This is the porch where my fence boards are becoming its ceiling.

I'll stop now. :)
Thanks for asking.

I've recycled several granite jobs and the homeowners were very pleased with each, however, you better be getting the granite very cheaply and not mind an odd or extra seam placement either.

I don't care how much it cost when it was new, recycled granite isn't worth a lot of money.

Honestly, I think he was being a little rude. Is it beggars can't be choosers? You know what you want and you're on a budget...just like the rest of us. Can you imagine someone saying, sheesh! I offered you corian at a discount, but you still want marble.

You know what you want and you have a vision! Money/budget has nothing to do with it. Less money just means more creativity to achieve your goal :)

I don't think you were being rude at all. And now consider that your conversation may stick in the minds of both fellows, and if either of them do come across some soapstone they'll think of you!

It's ok to be picky --- especially with what you have in your home. I didn't marry the first guy that came along either....

Nosoccermom- LOL!

My husband can be a bit of a hoarder...if it's free. Our little home is fully furnished at this point with what works for our space. When our friends mom passed at 95, he had made arrangements with his friend to take her furniture. "It'll work...you'll see". My response may have been construed as rude but I didn't care. In a 2 bedroom barely 1200 square foot south florida home he was prepared to bring in 40 years old dark ornate furniture. I'm sure it was high quality and lovely but seriously? We previously (and graciously) accepted two pieces from this friend as it was his way of thanking us for having him live with us a few times when life beat him up. One piece I love and the other not so much but I cherish the gesture. HOWEVER...enough was enough. We put in so much work and hard earned money into remodeling our home and right now...it's perfect for how we live.

I want to see the doors out of pallets. Post some photos!

Ditto what they said (and I'm praying you get your soapstone sooner rather than later - you deserve it!)

[LOL]
And it might not have occurred to either of them that I don't date them either.

It's hard to pass up nice furniture. I've become not shy about painting more ornate things. Then I quickly get sick of them and give 'em away.

My SIL, to whom I gave all my cabinets came with a rented U-Haul. 3 couches, several chairs, several tables, dishes, pillows.... done is DONE! :)

I only have a cell phone and my pictures aren't very good. The detail and different colors in the wood itself are gorgeous. Who knew!? The pieces I painted I developed a craqueleur finish that looks so authentic. (None of this crackle paint for me!) It's just very cool. I'll try.

Oh I do love to repurpose furniture...hence my bakers table. And the vanity that will one day go into the master bath is an old dry sink I deconstructed and will refinish. I just didn't see the purpose in DH wanting to squish the furniture into this already furnished home. The end of the story was I convinced our friend to give the furniture to a hard working home care aide that took care of his mom during her final months.

I completely got that, remodelfla. And there are folks who will have it for awhile and hopefully pass it on!

I've gained enough confidence I'm going to get rid of the guest bathroom vanity I got at Lowe's, "as is." Too tall for me, never really liked it, don't have water in there, anyway. I am going to build my own bad self a vanity, for My fabulous 5'2" height. Stay tuned.

Hey!! Just want this out there: If I can build beaded inset cabinets, I don't wanna hear about any "professionals" recommending against them for all those stupid, unnecessary reasons. I, an absolutely rank amateur. Perhaps, when you don't know what you don't know....
Now that I've succeeded, it might not work anymore!

Amateur success is totally empowering. I tell my grown sons that I'm like a ninja (ya don't need to be tall...barely 5' here...just go for it)

I agree that you shouldn't "settle" for something that you really don't want . . . just because it's free. I know that in planning my house I have certain "must haves" chosen, and they are 100% non-negotiable, but other things don't matter so much, and I'd reconsider my first choice . . . if something free came along. I would very much appreciate a friend offering me the choice!

I'd make two suggestions:

- When you refuse something, do so in the absolute most kind way: "Thank you so, so much for thinking of me. I've appreciated your other cast-offs so very much, and I can't wait to see them in use. You've been so very helpful with my project. But I'm really set on ___ for that particular item. I do hope someone else can use these things, and again it was so very kind of you to remember me."

You don't want to close down future potential gifts by being too abrupt, and a simple, "Only if it's soapstone" might've been seen as ungrateful. I'm not saying you were wrong at all -- just perhaps a little brusk in the delivery.

- Second, before you turn down stone (I assume nice stone), do consider ALL your needs -- not just your main kitchen countertops. Could that stone be used for a bathroom vanity? A coffee table topper? An outdoor kitchen or bar?

Mrs Pete, I would never be ungracious to someone offering me something. Even if it's a cookie I don't want. Of course I would (and was) kind in return to their kindness. Keep in mind in this instance, I think I mentioned we were joking around, so my response was in keeping, not abrupt or snotty in any way.

Your 'second' is always at the back of my mind. I have a running inventory at all times, particularly in the face of offers or reuse center items. That's why my front yard looks like a construction site, a stone yard, a furniture refinishing business, and just a plain mess.

Frankly, I would have turned down what I knew was granite sight unseen under all circumstances. I hate speckles. They make me crazy. But without mentioning my feelings, I would have done it in a way that wouldn't preclude them from thinking of me in other ways.

One can never be too gracious. obsequious, yes, but gracious, no.