...maybe scratch them with it?

I don't have an answer to this but I know the feeling.
It's the same one I get when people ask how many cows we have and how many acres we own.....

Lori

Sometimes people will ask if my ring is real and then follow up with how big is that. That's an easy one because then I can size 'oh I think I wear a size 7.'

But the best answer is one I read in an Ann Landers or Dear Abby article. Whenever anyone asks an inappropiate question you should reply with the following question.

"Why would you want to know?" This then forces the other person to try and state a valid reason for their question. If they say they are just curious you should say "Oh really" or "that's interesting" and then change the topic.

It's not an easy thing to deal with because we've always been taught to be polite. It might be helpful to actually practice your response so that you're not caught off guard.

The Ann Landers/Dear Abby response is a great one.

But, I've gotta be honest here, you had to realize that wearing a 5 carat diamond would draw stares and comments. They're not a common, every day item, ya know. If I were that shy, I would have bought several really great items for the same price as the one ring. A nice diamond tennis bracelet, a Tag Heuer or Rolex watch, a nice diamond pendant, a nice diamond "right hand ring," etc., that could all be worn at the same time. Several high-cost, high-class items worn at the same time is more understated and pretty much guarantees folks that, yes, the stuff is real; whereas one diamond the size of a golf ball is more unusual and attention grabbing.

But, that's just my opinion.

Never been that lucky!
But I do have small diamond earrings and my engagement diamond mounted to wear as a necklace. I'm proud of what little I do have!
Wears yours with pride :o)

I was wearing one of my very nice diamond necklaces one time and someone asked me if it was Avon. lol I simply said, "No". When they ask you if it's real, just tell them yes or ask why do they ask. Some people just don't know any better, I guess, to ask how much something cost or if it is real. I would die of curiosity before I'd ask something like that. It's no one's business. You really don't need to answer at all like someone else said.
Oh, I just read what McMann wrote about what Ann Landers suggested. That's what my mom used to always tell me. I guess she read Ann Landers and Dear Abby also. lol
So much of what people ask is just wanting to know how much money you have. Just like the car salesmen act like they are trying to be friendly and get to know you when they ask "Where do you work"? They might as well ask, "How much money do you make?". I think I'll tell them that next time... "You mean, how much money do we make, right?"
Lu

"Why would you want to know?"
and
'oh I think I wear a size 7.'
both great replies.

another one I think suggested by Ann Landers, (maybe Emily Post), "I don't believe I said"

Sue

Reply,"Well I guess it's real,I'm wearing it and you can see it!" As to the cost,"Oh,the amount of a month's pay".
I have a wedding set with a 4 carat stone in the center and smaller ones on each side in the engagement ring and 8 large stones in the band.They are Sterling silver and CZ's.I have had many compliments on it but never has anyone asked if it is "real" or what it cost.If they did I would probably tell them that was nobody's business but mine!
Lindsey-I think if Liira had wanted several smaller pieces she would have gotten smaller pieces.I don't think large diamonds are necessarily uncommon,but I live in Texas where everything is big! She states that she worked hard for it and she should be able to wear it with pride! The only problem I see is the people who are rude enough to ask the questions that make her feel uncomfortable.

I would just assume it was fake and not bother saying anything...

I have an Anne Klein watch that is loaded with crystals and I love it. It looks like diamond baguettes. Just wear it for dress. When someone "gawks" I just say "Yes, I'm a fan of Crystals". Then they know that I'm not trying to be pretentious. I love sparkle, but it doesn't have to be the real deal with me.

I also have, CZ Earrings that are kind of a rainbow Topaz. They are actually more expensive than Topaz. That is the most I have ever paid for a pair of earrings and they are faux!

My daily watch is synthetic Turquoise. I get more compliments on that. It was just $24.00.

My point, I just buy what I like.

I wear my Mother's Wedding Band, which has 1 1/2 carat diamond. It is very simple and I love it. I wouldn't have bought one. But I appreciate its beauty and my Mom loves to see me wear it on visits. And I'm not married.

Gayle

I'd ask back: "What do you think?" and just agree to whatever their answer is and just leave it as that.

If you ever feel threaten, just say it's CZ.

If you don't want to answer how much it was, just said it was a gift. No, you're not lying since it WAS a gift to yourself! But they don't need to know that, right?

I think many of us can save up eventually to get what we want. It's just happened that you want a diamond ring. So, what's the big deal? Just enjoy it, wear it proudly and don't worry about what others think.

If you ever feel threaten, just say it's CZ.

I'd say it anyway

i have a good size diamond, but only wear it on special occasions, as it's very old. thank goodness i've never had someone grab my hand..that would scare me...

as for the questions i'd just smile and and say it's all mine, lol..or if they ask if it's real just counter with a question back, what do you think? i do think however, as a couple of the ladies have posted, if you're uncomfortable, say cz. i've been in places where i flip the diamond inside...

you'd have to be pretty blind not to tell good jewelry...

thank you for your responses. I should tell you, that I am a big woman and I have big hands. I wear a size 10 ring. The ring in question has three diamonds. Centre one is 3 carat, the ones on each sides are 1.5, so its not a big golf ball looking ring. I just want a smart come back, because some people can be so pushy when I just smile and don't answer. The one lady that grabbed my hand, really threw me for a loop though.

Lillepad said, "Lindsey-I think if Liira had wanted several smaller pieces she would have gotten smaller pieces." Yes, I do realize that. My point was that by buying a 5 carat diamond, Liira had to realize that it would draw attention.

However, the details have changed a bit. Liira originally said, " I have a 5 carat diamond ring..." but now gives more detail: "The ring in question has three diamonds. Centre one is 3 carat, the ones on each sides are 1.5..." There's a significant difference between 5 carats total weight and a single 5 carat diamond. (And one 3 carat diamond and two 1.5 carat diamonds equals 6 carats total weight.)

But I think my standard answer, if asked "is that real" would be to say, "do you hallucinate often?"

I'm kinda trying to wrap my mind around someone who is "shy" buying/wearing a zonker of a ring which is DESIGNED to draw attention.

I doubt very much if the poster would EVER say it was just a CZ. Nope...no way.

"Why - are you wondering whether it'd be worth your trouble to mug me?"

Maybe add: "I'm a Black Belt in Tae Kwun Do, as well ... snce you seem to be interested in unusual/out of the main stream topics".

"Big enough to cut glass!". Maybe add, "You got one that you'd like to have me try it on?"

BTW ... what's "CZ" ... Czechoslovakian?

ole joyful

"Why - are you wondering whether it'd be worth your trouble to mug me?"

Maybe add: "I'm a Black Belt in Tae Kwun Do, as well ... snce you seem to be interested in unusual/out of the main stream topics".

"Big enough to cut glass!". Maybe add, "You got one that you'd like to have me try it on?"

BTW ... what's "CZ" ... Czechoslovakian?

ole joyful

Ed ~ CZ is Cubic Zirconia......

Liira, I'll bet your ring is gorgeous! Wear it with pride!

I have a few big diamonds on my hands. I had people ask too if its real etc.I do worry sometimes people see them Im afraid Ill get robbed.I just started feeling funny when people ask.

I have to agree with Lindsay...You can hardly expect even a 3 carat diamond not to draw some attention and wearing it you shouldn't be surprised....

I have a beautiful diamond and it is only half that big and it draws lots of attention...truthfully...I am flattered when people notice mine...It's not a honker but it's beautiful and people notice it.

Oh, I love OJ's 'comeback' the best...lol

"Why - are you wondering whether it'd be worth your trouble to mug me?"

Sue

Pattico read my mind.

I'm not really into jewelry that much, but I do notice very big rings. A couple of days at my friend's house, a couple of her friends dropped by who just got a multi million dollar settlement from the BP Refinery explosion here. They are older...late 60's and enjoying the money with a lot of nice things they couldn't have even dreamed of having a few years ago. Anyway, I noticed she had a set of wedding rings with humongus diamonds. I wanted to say to her, what a lovely set of rings, but didn't. I don't think she would have been insulted. I wouldn't ask the price...I knew they were real because I know they have lots of money now.

I have been known to compliment people on jewelry tho, especially if it is unique. I don't think anyone has ever been offended by it. I saw a lady who had rings that were diamonds with a turquoise ring guard on it, and the combination was so beautiful...I had to compliment her on it, and I've never forgotten it. She seemed very pleased and was super nice.

As for myself...if I wore a 5 ct. diamond and anyone asked a question, I would probably answer...because I am laid back about things.

I should tell you, that I am a big woman and I have big hands. I wear a size 10 ring. The ring in question has three diamonds. Centre one is 3 carat, the ones on each sides are 1.5, so its not a big golf ball looking ring.

OK, I get what you're saying about the proportion of the ring. The problem is that even a 3 carat center stone is pretty large, and people who pay attention to such things are going to catch that immediately.

I think the Ann Landers response is the easiest way out. However, have you considered the possibility that you're getting these comments because you're wearing it in places where it sticks out like a sore thumb?

My wedding ring is very plain - I didn't want anything to draw attention as I went about my daily routine. My engagement ring is much more elaborate and I wear it on special occasions, when going out to dinner, etc.

I think if you're a little more judicious about where and when you wear it, the majority of the comments will stop.

My ring has a 3-carat Marquise-cut diamond, and I get a lot of compliments on it. Like Ruthie, I'm flattered when people notice it. Many people have asked if it is real--and the size of the diamond. I answer honestly, because no one has ever asked in a way that made me feel threatened. Guess I travel in more polite circles....

Liira...
I too am a big woman with big hands. I say wear the ring whereever you dang well please. Shy or not, if you wanted that ring, and enjoy wearing it, its really noone else's business.
Just know that "busybodys" will gawk and maybe even ask you if it's real. Just smile and say.....Aint it purty- got it on ebay for 25 bucks!!

Marla

I get compliments on my rings all the time and it doesn't bother me a bit. I wear them because they are pretty and it pleases me to wear nice things. If someone else notices them and compliments me on them I merely say "thank you" and if Woody is with me I say "Thank YOU" to him, too. lol It makes him laugh.

If a stranger was gauche enough to question their authenticity, I would merely look askance at them and not answer.

As for grabbing your hand- that could either intimidate a person or flatter her, depending on the circumstances and roughness. I've had people touch my hand and turn it so they could see my rings better, that's not bothered me yet. I make it a point to NOT wear them when we're car shopping. lol

One other surefire technique is to answer the question/comment they have the RIGHT to ask, and ignore the one you don't want to deal with. Over and over. About the third time they ask and you give them the SAME non-answer, they'll get the message.

Them: "Is that a real diamond?"

You: "It is beautiful, isn't it? Thank you for the compliment."

Them: "No, really, is it real?"

You: "Thank you for admiring it."

Them: "I asked you whether it's real."

You: "Thank you for admiring it."

Them: "Why won't you answer my question? Are you stuck up?"

You: "Thank you for admiring it."

The other snappy answer to rude comments or questions that advice columnist Carolyn Hax loves (though it's a better response to an outrageous statement: "Wow."

My Aunt use to say....yep..."He loves those surprises in Cracker Jacks"

Gayle

But I think my standard answer, if asked "is that real" would be to say, "do you hallucinate often?"

LMBO!

I've done the try to avoid the question with rude peeps before, but because they're so rude, they just automatically think it's faux because you avoided answering. *sigh* Some peeps will never get it.

I think I'll go with Marla's answer next time: "Aint it purty- got it on ebay for 25 bucks!!" LOL!

but if they're rude, do you care what they think?

Good point, talley. And no, it's just a minor irritation to have to share the planet with them ;-)

My favorite Ann Landers comeback for people who ask things that are none of their business is:

"I'll forgive you for asking a personal question if you will forgive me for not answering." Then just walk away, smiling.

I have to admit if I saw one that big (unless you were famous), I would probably think it was fake too. But I wouldn't come out and ask you.

For those interested, I think Katie Holmes ring is about that size and cost $275,000. Hopefully your ring is very well insured!

I get the same thing with my grandma's ring.

"Is that thing for real?"
A drunk grabbed my hand and tried to pry it off my finger once. Scared the crap out of me.

I have had people grab my hand to look at my ring before, and it is nowhere that size LOL. It is just under 1k but cut a flatter style so it looks a wee bit bigger. It is the setting that makes it look larger as well.

I find it flattering. But I also don't like people grabbing my hands. When it comes to the ring thing though I try to tolerate it.

Nobody has ever asked me how much it cost though.

My hairdresser and my sister-in-law both have huge solitaire diamond rings. I don't know how big, because I would never ask but I personally think people just assume because they are so big they are fake. Because I know them, I know they are real. I think they're beautiful. I would wear one with much pride.

I like what Marla had to say: wear the ring whereever you dang well please. Shy or not, if you wanted that ring, and enjoy wearing it, its really noone else's business.

The biggest I have is a 2.5 ct. DH bought for me as a anniversary present. I only wear it for special occasions when we go out. I am afraid of being bopped on the head and having it stolen. It happened to my SIL and hers was only a 1 ct. Most of the time I wear a low profile 1 ct. diamond anniversary band. I have never been asked if either ring was real. I would probably say yes, it was a anniversary present (and hope they weren't just checking it out to steal it).
Clare

My engagement ring is a "gold ball", which myl husband paid $100 about 35 years ago. I always get people asking me about my ring and where I got it. So, whether it is expensive or cheap, people are going to ask about it.

I wear large rings all the time - most are real, some not and people always compliment them. I wear them on my pinky fingers which makes them even more noticeable. LOL I wear one ring that is one of a kind and made by goldsmith in the shape of butterfly with small diamonds and rubies which draws the most attention. I am always flattered when people notice my rings.

I think only one person, my friend's teenaged daughter has ever asked me if a large amethyst ring I was wearing was real or not and because it was I said yes, but even if it wasn't real I would have said it was. LOL Only I need to know.

So, if somebody liked my ring enough to ask if it was real or not I would say "yes it is real" It could be paste, it could be zirconia but it is still "real"

Also when admiring rings on other people's hands the cost of what that person might have paid for that ring never enters my mind. I just like the beauty of the ring or the unusualness of it.

Anne

I guess I don't see what the big deal is with asking if a the stone is real. I'm not a big jewelry fan and truthfully, I can't always tell if it is real. I do like some jewelery though and so sometimes I will ask to see a ring. I have NEVER asked how much it cost. Also, I would never ask a stranger if a ring was real but I may ask someone who I have just been introduced to. It depends on how well I hit it off with someone. But if a person gave some of these responses, I'd think they were really stuck on themselves and I'd never bother with them again. Just my opinion.

I never had an engagement ring. Just didn't belireve in the silly things. For our fifth wedding anniversary,DH gave me a one-carat diamond ring. I wore it for ten years,then one night I had an allergic reaction to some lobster salad and my face and hands blew up. I was able to pry the ring off my finger just before I went to the hospital. They gave me a shot of adrenaline, which saved my life. I still own the ring but I can no longer get it on my finger. I've gained some weight. I have smallish hands and I looked so good in that ring. Baw!

Jannie, have it enlarged, so you can wear it. It'd be a shame not to.
Leslie

I'm green with envy over all of your rings since I have a metal allergy and can't even wear 18k gold. Yes, I'd probably gush over your beautiful ring, but I sure wouldn't ask if it was real. Who cares? I'd just like to wear a pair of earrings, for heaven's sake!

Okay, my pity party is over and I say to all of you enjoy your beautiful things and ignore crude people who have the audacity to ask you if it's real. Geez!

Jannie, could you have the ring stretched or maybe put it in another setting?

I have a one carat solitaire that I wear with a one carat ring guard and I am always getting compliments on it. Have been asked a few times if it is real and I just smile and say "of course"! I've never been asked what the cost was but if I was, I would just say "enough".

I remember someone asking me if I dyed my hair. I replied, 'H3ll, yes, do you wear a padded bra?' That shut her up.

dody

LOL dody. i have had similiar reactions to some of my jewelry, including rings, necklaces and earrings. i've had complete strangers grab my hands to have a closer look at 2 different rings that i don't think are that big a deal in the world of jewelry. one is a 2 ct solitaire w/ side bars of sapphire and the other is a 3 ct sapphire w/ trillion cut 1 ct diamonds on the sides. onetime we were purchasing an antique rifle and the salesman would just not leave that sapphire ring alone. he kept grabbing my hand and going on and on about how much it must have cost...it was embarrassing.

i love my jewelry and don't buy it to get attention i happen to love jems and buy it for myself as a treat not for show. i've had people grab a journey necklace and poke at a pair of 4 ct earrings sooo much i don't wear them anymore. i certainly don't mind if someone asks but more often they don't, as if i wear things for showing. if someone asked if something was real it wouldn't bother me much, i know they are, as long as they keep their hands off me lol ~ liz

These CZs are so real looking I'm surprised anybody ever gives a second thought to real or fake. I've seen ruby, sapphire, you name it and I can't tell the difference. I've heard you should travel w/ fakes in case you do get mugged. Personally, I see so many women flaunting their rings that it's kinda a turn off.

Since I wear no or very little jewelry, it does not bother me one way or another. I do have a acquantance that loves to wear rings on almost every finger, and ear rings that I do know are very real and very expensive. She flashes them about and gushes how beatiful they are, which over the years really turned me off. I would never ask, how much or grab someones hand ==i hate that.