I really hope you have been in therapy or at some point will get some.I have been through similar things (although probably not as bad) I was also molested (by a cousin).In my teens I was pretty promiscuious and got mad when people called me a slut because I didnt think I was.In hindsight,I know It was a reaction to all I had exprienced. My mom kicked me out of the house alot and always put her loser boyfriends first too.They never tried anything with me,but were alcoholics and abusive to my mother. My relationship with my mom and sister has been a disaster for the last 15 years.Neither one of them has been there for me at all,and have only made my life more stressful. So I finally went to therapy because it was causing all kinds of problems.Severe anger,depression,anxiety...I learned alot.My therapist said it was more healthy for me to not have them in my life.Of course,they make that impossible,but I have learned to shut them out more and not let them interfere with my life. I think you are doing the right thing.Obviously your mother hasnt changed if she still has Jack in her life.Dont justify your mom's actions by saying you were supposed to help her have a better life.You didnt ask to be born.And unless your a moron,everyone knows having a baby doesnt make life easier! I'm really surprized you turned out so good considering.I have too only because I try to do the opposite of my mom at all costs. Just think how it good it felt to get it all out here.If you had a therapist you could really dig up those issues and even free yourself of all (or at least most) guilt. If you cant afford it,most counties have some kind of free mental health plan.Or on a sliding scale of much money you make. My husband has kinda saved me too.He has been the most stable person I have known.He has put up with alot from me because I was so "flighty" when we met cuz of all the drama.I essentially went to therapy for him,because I didnt want him to have to constantly hear about it or put him through any grief. It sucks to have a crappy family life.I'm sorry about all you have been through.But in a way it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

"I'm just incredulous that the police didn't think getting punched in the nose is not assault simply because the victim avoided a broken nose" YEP. I am actually more pissed about it, the more time that goes by. I don't really know what BM said to the police because they talked to me inside and she was out in the driveway. I know she was claiming I HIT HER first which pisses me off because I didn't hit her AT ALL. I covered my face with my hands and ran! LOL. Even SS saw everything that happened and was screaming/crying at his mom to not hurt me. TRUST ME, as loyal as he is to her, if I had hit her, he would have been yelling at ME. But according the cops--it's a "domestic issue" and they told me it's always he said/she said. It also made me angry because one of the cops (there were, like 6 or 7 of them) said "well, if she is so drunk, why'd you let her in the house?" UGH. I let her in and didn't call the police to avoid a SCENE like the one we had! Granted, in hindsight, I shouldn't have let her in--but she was sobbing at the backdoor and then SS SAW her. :( It all worked out really badly. I did the best I could under the circumstances. That one cop was kind of rude to me, I thought, but the others were all pretty nice. The last one to leave did tell me that I have 6 months to press charges. He didn't really say I should or shouldn't, but just said it was an option but that in domestic situations, it is hard to get anything to stick. I am angry the police were not more helpful to ME. MY house, MY driveway, MY yard--she's DRUNK, and I'm SOBER, taking care of two children. Let's see.....who is in the wrong here?

lpink, I had a similar issue with my Dad after Mom died. I found soups and crackers, stews, casseroles, etc. worked best for him. Definitely use flat wide containers, they heat more evenly. I cooked once or twice a week and brought it over. I never froze anything. My Dad liked: Shepherds Pie - You could sub peas & carrots for the corn Chili with beans (bland) topped with cheese and served with tortilla chips for scooping Hot Dogs and Baked Beans - Sliced hot dogs sauteed with a little onions then mixed with Baked Beans. You could omit the onion. Sliced Kielbasa with stewed tomatoes and sliced zucchini Cooked breakfast sausage on mashed potatoes and a veggie side American Chop Suey - Scrambled hamburg, stewed tomatoes (I used Del Monte with peppers and onions), cooked pasta, some tomato sauce and seasoning to taste (Bland as heck but he loved it.) Roast Chicken with Rice Florentine - Rice cooked in chix stock with chopped spinach, fresh lemon juice, butter and some parmesan cheese added Bake Stuffed Potatoes - Baked the potatoes fluff in the skin and add butter, then add cooked chicken, a little bacon, broccoli and top with sliced cheese. These were his favorite. You could swap out the broccoli for another veggie. Mac & Cheese with Ham and Carrots Pasta Alfredo with Canadian Bacon and Peas Boneless Bake Stuffed Pork Chop - Stuffed with apples, walnuts, celery, onion whole grain bread. You could omit or add ingredients to suit his tastes. Be sure to keep the stuffing layer an even thickness so it heats evenly. Egg Casserole - Ingredients varied but I made these in 4" ramekins. Frozen hash browns on the bottom for crust. Press in firmly and pre-bake. Beat the eggs with a little cream some, cheese and bacon, sausage or ham bits, and chopped veggies. Fill the ramekins and bake until cooked through. These reheat well in the microwave. Baked Ziti with homemade tomato vegetable meat sauce and cheese Finger foods - Anything that gave the appearance of a snack i.e. he could eat with his fingers or dip and eat in front of the TV. In the first few months after Mom died, this is all Dad ate. He refused to eat at the kitchen or dining room tables. For example: -A small container of tomato soup for dipping grill cheese fingers in. You would have to test container sizes to be sure the "sauce" heats in the same amount of time as the fingers. -Shrimp Cocktail -Crackers and Spinach Artichoke Dip (I sometimes added crab, shrimp, ham, bacon, chicken or whatever to this.) -Homemade cookie sticks with fresh strawberry dip (Greek vanilla yogurt with finely diced and drained strawberries) -French Toast Fingers with a side of Maple syrup -Mini Quesadillas with Salsa for dipping - Fill small tortillas with cooked ingredients and cheese, grill until browned and crispy and the cheese is melted. I always put the cheese against the tortilla, they get less soggy that way. Cool on a rack. These heat in 30 seconds or so in the microwave. Pre-cut in small wedges. -Pate and Crackers -Cherry tomatoes stuffed with tuna salad -Deviled Eggs -Hot Crab Dip and Crackers -Mini Scallop Rockerfeller Tarts - Cooked Scallops, Spinach, Brie or laughing Cow cheese in a pie shell. I used mini muffin tins and pre-baked the crust. These are best the first day but Dad ate them even soggy. -English Muffin Pizzas - Pre-cut in wedges. Pre toast the English muffins until crunchy. -Lamb Chop Lollipops with Mint Pesto Dipping Sauce (For sauce mix mint jelly with store bought pesto.) -Peking Dumplings -Fresh Spring Rolls -Skewers of anything with dipping sauce -Mac & Cheese Bites Well you get the idea... I found that if I made a printed menu and put it on the refrigerator, Dad ate more because he didn't have to decide what to eat. Of course then there were days where he would eat candy instead of dinner. And when he was feeling cantankerous he would just eat what he felt like whenever he felt like it, sometimes 3 days worth of food in one day and none the next! :-) Or if not a menu then a list of what you brought and make sure to boldly and clearly label each item so your Dad doesn't have to think about it. Even the simplest task is overwhelming right now. Dad ate more sweets during the grieving process so healthy sweets were a big focus. Some days all he wanted were Chocolate Chip Cookies so I improvised and added some oatmeal and a little grated zucchini or whatever. They might not have always been stellar but they were sweet and he ate them or the dog did. LOL Good luck and God Bless! Take heart, my Mom's last words to me were, "I'm so sorry I'm leaving you stuck with your father. I love you." She knew!

You probably would have always wondered what he was like if you hadn't taken him in so it may be a blessing in disguise. Now you know so you can put that mystery to bed. He does sound like a con man so I'd be careful with any financial papers left around. Lock them up & when he's gone after the house sale, you can start a new chapter & have a very good life. Your ex-husband sounds like a decent man and you have a good son who cares about you. To put his mind at rest about your health, why not try one of those life alert systems? It might give him peace of mind & he does need to get on with his life. Best of luck to you. I can't think of anyone who deserves it more.