I feel horrible but it feels right.
Aprile
8 years ago
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I know I'm doing the right thing but this feels awful
Comments (6)I'm so sorry for what you're going through. For what it's worth, I was in a long marriage to an emotionally abusive man, and I also (now, not then) have a child with special needs. I can't imagine how you could possibly have dealt with all that you've been dealing with for as long as you have been. It has to have been intolerable. Don't worry about how you're "supposed to be feeling" -- Just go with what you do feel, and allow yourself to feel it. Give yourself permission to let go for a few days. If you're sure it's the right decision, then tell the kids that you're sad that you and their father could not be happy together (not sad you're splitting), and that it's important to allow yourself to feel sad for a few days -- But that you know it is the right decision and that you'll be happier next week. It might actually help to put a date on it -- I'm going to allow myself to be sad until Friday (so they don't worry too much). Then CRY. Just hug your kids and cry, and let them cry too. Then pull yourself together after you've washed out some tears and start moving forward. You may be surprised actually behow relieved you feel. More than anything else, I felt relieved, and like I finally had a chance at reaching something good. You may be scared right now, but IME, it's much easier to have NO help than to have almost no help and lots of criticism. Clearly, you've got incredible resources, and you're going to be OK -- probably better than that....See MoreI feel horrible (LONG, but I need to get it out)
Comments (8)I really hope you have been in therapy or at some point will get some.I have been through similar things (although probably not as bad) I was also molested (by a cousin).In my teens I was pretty promiscuious and got mad when people called me a slut because I didnt think I was.In hindsight,I know It was a reaction to all I had exprienced. My mom kicked me out of the house alot and always put her loser boyfriends first too.They never tried anything with me,but were alcoholics and abusive to my mother. My relationship with my mom and sister has been a disaster for the last 15 years.Neither one of them has been there for me at all,and have only made my life more stressful. So I finally went to therapy because it was causing all kinds of problems.Severe anger,depression,anxiety...I learned alot.My therapist said it was more healthy for me to not have them in my life.Of course,they make that impossible,but I have learned to shut them out more and not let them interfere with my life. I think you are doing the right thing.Obviously your mother hasnt changed if she still has Jack in her life.Dont justify your mom's actions by saying you were supposed to help her have a better life.You didnt ask to be born.And unless your a moron,everyone knows having a baby doesnt make life easier! I'm really surprized you turned out so good considering.I have too only because I try to do the opposite of my mom at all costs. Just think how it good it felt to get it all out here.If you had a therapist you could really dig up those issues and even free yourself of all (or at least most) guilt. If you cant afford it,most counties have some kind of free mental health plan.Or on a sliding scale of much money you make. My husband has kinda saved me too.He has been the most stable person I have known.He has put up with alot from me because I was so "flighty" when we met cuz of all the drama.I essentially went to therapy for him,because I didnt want him to have to constantly hear about it or put him through any grief. It sucks to have a crappy family life.I'm sorry about all you have been through.But in a way it's nice to know I'm not the only one....See MoreI am a horrible sister and feel soooo bad could you...
Comments (16)Thanks again everyone I just called my sister and she said Stephen had a great night sleep first night he slept all night long. And today they have the bed in the front part of the motorhome made out and he is riding comfortably!! So your thoughts and prayers are helping tons. He is breathing better she said and his color is super! Thanks so much again!! Stacy...See MoreInterior designer - doesn't feel right
Comments (12)The hourly fee + markup on things ordered is not unusual at all. Her rates are in line to what normal designers charge in my area of LA. You need to end the relationship with this person ASAP. She sounds like the designer I used about 2 years ago. Mine provided no accountability or details of the time billed and when we did order something there were also no details of the product, brand, fabrics, size, etc. of the items ordered. Her terrible record keeping led to some drapes having to be redone 3 times. At first she blamed me, saying that I had changed my mind. Only after they arrived wrong the second time did she bother to figure out her notes and see that she had made the mistakes all along. She did credit us back for the extra labor charges and her hours managing the whole mess. To give you an idea on furniture prices. We ordered a custom sized sectional from Century at the LA design center, through the designer. It was sized to the exact measurements I had decided on for the space and was roughly 9' x 13' and the cost was $14k. Your designer has not listened to any of your requirements. Why show you a $10k sectional when you have stated that that is the total budget for that one room? Taking a week to answer an email is unacceptable ... at that rate the project will drag on for a year and she will be billing you for all those hours she spends looking for "dream pieces". Even my disorganized ex-designer answered calls/emails within 24 hours. Pull the bandaid ... end it quickly!...See Moremoonie_57 (8 NC)
8 years agojustlinda
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agolucillle
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8 years agoLindsey_CA
8 years agoAprile
8 years agoAprile
8 years agolucillle
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoAprile
8 years agoAprile
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8 years agolast modified: 8 years agoAprile thanked rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7petra_gw
8 years ago
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moonie_57 (8 NC)