Did it give you a start when you saw it? My mother had very distinctive handwriting and her oldest friend wrote the same way (I think when they were kids they "created" this penmanship style between them, and it stuck). Every time I get a card from her friend I think, for a second, that it's from my mother. The first few years it hurt a little, now it is sort of comforting.

Oh Cynic that had to be a very Twilight Zone experience. I thought you were going to say it was one of those generated software programs that automatically send out cards or messages on certain dates through email.

There are also programs to delay an email so that you can write a message and have it go out at a later date. There is time to cancel it in between if one wishes.

To get one in your mailbox is eerie. At least it was not the Post Office that delayed it for years. I've read stories like that.

Aw Cynic, that was really thoughtful of her DH to send it on to you after all this time. Had to LOL at "missing you". Bet you miss her more!

do do do do do do do do...I'm hear Rod Serling in the background....WAAAY Bizarro Cynic...I'll bet that stopped your heart for a nanosecond...

Amazing that her husband would send it to you...

It was rather strange, but you know it wasn't until hours later that it hit me that it wasn't only a month or so since she died. It was much longer And yes, she definitely had a distinctive handwriting so there was no mistaking she wrote it. I noticed the return address from Phoenix and it struck me funny but again, I guess we're talking about seconds since I opened it right away so we're talking only about seconds in time.

And I thought about it after, I might have just put a stamp on it and sent it on, not thinking of the, well, consequences??? mistaken thoughts??? had I been in his position! And I also gave thought when I first saw it was from him that it could have been delayed in the post office.

One thing though, that caught my eye. As I said her handwriting is distinctive. Sort of "ornate", lots of curves and things. More of an "old-fashioned" style of penmanship if you know what I mean? But always smooth. But this time it was rather shaky, almost like when someone has had a stroke or like she was very stressed out... or under six feet of dirt! That could stress you out!! LOL But seriously, she was apparently not feeling well or troubled when she wrote it. Although I do recall she wasn't happy at that particular time of her life for a few reasons. It's funny how that would show in penmanship.

I do give him credit for sending it but I'm a little surprised he did. I know he was very jealous of our relationship in the past and he actually didn't tell me about her death until it was too late for me to get down there for the funeral. I don't think it was a coincidence. But like I said, it was a nice thing for him to send it. And the whole thing was totally strange! Don't know how else to describe it!

OH, one other thing, sue36, I understand the comfort you mentioned. My mother's handwriting too was very distinctive. She had wonderful penmanship. I sure didn't inherit any of that from her! But occasionally I'll look at a copy of one of her recipe cards and kind of smile. She wrote it, and it brings a memory or two and like you said, some comfort.

In 1965 my brother was killed in Viet Nam. If I remember correctly, it was about 2 weeks after his funeral my mom got a letter from him. I do remember she was freaked about it. It was an empty casket funeral, no remains. I do remember for years I wouldn't believe he was dead. I was only 11 then.

I got one also. My sister in law passed out in the grocery store this last Easter and died on the way to the hospital. I received a E-Mail Halloween Card from her with only the greeting in it.I know her son sent it to me but it really gave me the willys when I first opened it. He knew we sent cards back and forth for years.

I didn't really but thought I did.
My DH and I were in Arizona having lunch at a golf course. I knew a friend from high school lived in the area so, since it was a small community, I asked the server if she knew Dorothy.
She didn't know the name so I asked about her DD, Delight, who was a nurse there. The woman knew Delight and said her mother had recently died.
I was so sad, just kicking myself for not keeping in touch with Dorothy.
That was in June.
In December I get a Christmas card from Dorothy with pictures of her daughter and Dorothy and her husband.
So I called her to find out the rest of the story. I didn't know that Delight had been adopted and it was her birth mother who died. Next time DH and I went to Arizona we visited my friend.

I think you were meant to get the letter when you did. Have you read Hello From Heaven?

Call the lawyer.

The "angels" are making contact

It takes a person who's fairly self-possessed and who feels fairly secure in his/her own being to be willing to trust her/his spouse to carry on an in-depth relationship with another person of the opposite gender (do we use the word "sex" too often in terms of such a relationship?). How many of us would be willing to feel comfortable with our spouse having a "best friend" (or near such) with a person of the opposite gender?

Also, jealousy may trouble us more substantially when we feel a measure of insecurity in our relationship with our loved one.

When a (usually female) is not employed, so does not have an independent income, if the relationship with her spouse appears to be in jeopardy, it isn't only the emotional relationship that feels threatened, but her livelihood, as well ... and shelter and food and such are rather important aspects of our feelings of satisfaction in life.

Also ... some people tend to mellow with age: maybe that's happened to Tom.

Let your friends know how much you appreciate them, folks - who knows how long they'll be around to hear you?

Or ... you to tell them.

Any old day could be our last (on this earth, at least - without regard to what may lie beyond).

ole joyful

That is a strange occurrence, but I bet your friend is looking down on you and smiling at your dilemma. Maybe it is her way of letting you know that she is still thinking of you. Dottie

I was going to ask, how are thinks on the other side?

I just wonder if her husband has died and someone else passed on the info. Yes, I would call that lawyer too.
My aunt got a letter from her brother's girlfriend (brother was killed in WWII). It said "if you recieve this then you will know I have died). It contained their letters and photos. She married someoen else but obviously cared deeply for my uncle and his family.

Wow - that would stay in your mind for awhile.

My DH has been dead for over 10 years, never lived in this
State, I have lived in 2 States since he died, neither
that he ever lived in, and I get mail addressed to him
at this address, in this State.
Nothing that I have or deal with, has his name on
it - and yet..... Actually, this would tickle him. LOL
He would probably say, "Oh Lord, I can never
escape the junk mail".LOL

And YET, ...a Birthday Card sent to a neighbor - 3 blocks away, never reached her. LOL

I once got a Christmas card signed "Love,Jesus". I was really spooked until I realized Jesus was my garbageman and he was sort-of thanking me for a tip.

That reminds me of what my FIL did. He was very sick from cancer and knew he wasn't going to last too much longer. He sent a e-mail to my husband that was set up to be sent at a later date, after his death, by about 7 months. He asked that we keep in touch with his wife, stepmother. My husbands mother died when he was about 21 and he remarried 5 years later to this women, she had two grown children also. The stepmother was really hard to get along with. Her son put up with her, and was barely on speaking terms with her daughter. Treated my husband very poorly for years, but we tolerated her because Dad loved her. I think she always meant well somewhere deep down inside, but was still rude, arrogant, put downs, was hard to take, but we live 800 miles away so not too much contact...We kept in touch for a few years after dads e-mail but she was still worse than ever and she died 5 years later, the last year we hardly spoke at all....still feel guilty we didn't keep in contact so much. I really think she didn't understand what she did to people, she was a miserable soul, bless her.

Several months after my husband died, I was doing some drawer organizing and found a wonderful letter that he had written to me just a few weeks before he died. I can't even put into work the feelings that came over me when I read his words. Most everything in the letter seemed to address the fears and insecurities that I was having at the time. I cherish that letter with all my heart and will never part with it!!!

How nice to have something special from someone you've lost. I'm still hope for some sort of "sign" like that from my parents.

Tammy

cynic -- So...have you thanked Tom? Maybe you two could be better friends now, or he may have more to tell you.

I haven't had this happen, but I did only discover online that a first cousin in another state had died. I was doing some genealogy research using the social security death master file. She'd been dead almost a year! (Disfunctional family.) I'd missed sending her a birthday greeting that year because I had pneumonia.

Say it while you can, folks!

I was going to send him an email. But I can't find his email address. I was sure it was in the address book on the computer. It's not. (do DO do do, do DO do do...)

So, I searched the email. No luck. I even looked for Lin's emails since she gave me his cell # and email address a couple times when they needed some help. They're all gone. I even went back through the history of the mail received and mail sent. None. They're all gone. Not one mail in there. I know I didn't delete them. No reason to. (do DO do do, do DO do do...)

So I looked for his phone numbers. Can't find them either. I have the address for their "summer place" by Crosby but the phone number is gone. (do DO do do, do DO do do...)

I went through my cell phone. I know I called there on the cell several times and I put it in the contacts.... Not there. (do DO do do, do DO do do...)

This is a bit strange. So, I guess I'll use the (ugh) post office... If it's still there! (do DO do do, do DO do do...)