To start with, I would stock their freezer with decent, store bought microwave entrees so that your MIL can retain some sense of independence and also to take some of the strain off of your shoulders so that you aren't worrying about every dinner for them. Your MIL sounds like the type to feel awful if it seems like she's a burden.

Then, I would take over a home cooked meal that provides leftovers useful for lunch a few times a week...casseroles, meat loaf, pork & sauerkraut...that kind of thing.

Also, check out her kitchen...bending over and lifting pots & pans, dish drainers etc, is probably not a good idea, so perhaps some items that are normally stowed in cabinets or drawers could be temporarily moved to counters, or the easier to reach cabinets could be cleared of all the things they don't use on a daily basis to make room for those they do.

Another thought, is to get them some good quality paper plates on which to eat, as this will reduce the meal clean up and also allow her to serve up dinner and carry it to the table without going over her pound limit. If they're the types who cringe at the thought of waste, and washing dishes is not a problem, they have very light plastic plates available for summer back yard meals...make sure they're microwave safe so that heating up leftovers is that much easier.

I would also take any casseroles etc over in disposable foil baking pans for the same reason.

My first thought was lasagna/casseroles myself, but I wonder if your MIL would be able to lift them. You may want to stock up on some of those disposable plastic food containers and bring the food over in smaller portions so that it is easier for her to get out of the fridge, heat up, etc. Since I'm only cooking for 2, I usually mix up a whole casserole recipe but only cook half of it in a small dish and freeze the rest for baking on another day. That might work for them. Spaghetti sauce and taco meat also work really well for leftovers if you're looking for something that will last them for several days.

If they are real meat and potato type of people, this is a meatloaf recipe that I just love. I usually bake 2 personal meat loaves for my husband and I and then have 4 leftover to freeze for later. These are really great and may be easier for your MIL to handle than a full-sized meat loaf.

Chrissy

Individual Meat Loaves
Copyright 2005, Ina Garten, All Rights Reserved
Show: Barefoot Contessa
Episode: Lunch for the Boys


1 tablespoon good olive oil
3 cups chopped yellow onions (3 onions)
1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1/3 cup canned chicken stock or broth
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 1/2 pounds ground chuck (81 percent lean)
1/2 cup plain dry bread crumbs (recommended: Progresso)
2 extra-large eggs, beaten
1/2 cup ketchup (recommended: Heinz)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Heat the olive oil in a medium saute pan. Add the onions, thyme, salt, and pepper and cook over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally, for 8 to 10 minutes, until the onions are translucent but not brown. Off the heat, add the Worcestershire sauce, chicken stock, and tomato paste. Allow to cool slightly.
In a large bowl, combine the ground chuck, onion mixture, bread crumbs, and eggs, and mix lightly with a fork. Don't mash or the meatloaf will be dense. Divide the mixture into 6 (10 to 11-ounce) portions and shape each portion into a small loaf on a sheet pan. Spread about a tablespoon of ketchup on the top of each portion. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, until the internal temperature is 155 to 160 degrees F and the meat loaves are cooked through. Serve hot.

I'd also maybe just double what I was fixing for my family for dinners, and then put the extras in freezer containers and bring over. That's what I do for myself to have quick fix meals for during the week when I'm at work. Don't forget how nice the crockpot is for meals for everyone!

That's a good idea! You could cook for them while cooking for your own family!

Do your inlaws attend a church? Often the church ladies groups will have a ministry to look in on and assist those members who are having a rough time. They organize rides to doctor's appointments, periodic check ins and often some meal services.

Thanks for the ideas. One of the problems is that they live in a rural area and meals on wheels isn't available to them. The home health people are coming on Monday and I thinking that I am going to go over when they are there to make sure that they get all the bases covered. My mil is the kind of person that is always the first to help others but never asks for help herself. I am going to call one of the church members that lives closest and see if they can get a group together to take meals over every other day or so. My FIL is the problem and thinks everything needs to be a hot dinner. Me I could make a pasta salad and we could eat it all week long with sandwiches or grilling out. But that wouldn't be enough for them. So will have to do some thinking. Also FIL's son ( MIL and FIL married when in their 50's ) lives in town and hasn't worked for months and has been taking money from mil and fil and part of me feels that he needs to step up and help. But I want to do what I can to help. With 3 kids under 4 and one more on the way, I have enough on my plate to deal with but will muddle through.

I think the most important thing is to be there when home health comes and to make sure that we cover all the bases, physical therepy for both of them, bathing, cleaning, and cooking. Otherwise I know that my mil won't ask for help, but I am not afraid to ask for help for her.

Stacie
girlsingardens

Good for you Stacie! They're lucky to have a DIL who is a giving, caring person to speak for them.

I wouldn't bet on help from your FIL's son...he sounds more like a taker than a giver, and such people rarely change. You'll only frustrate yourself if you think about it.