Lost my Mom also

17 years ago

Mom passed on Jan 22nd. She was with Hospice and passed peacefully. She was 98. Dementia had taken her from us for the last several years. She is now with her Mother and Grandmother being laid to rest by them. We traveled to Michigan for the funeral and to say "see you later Mom."

She had a hard, but long life. I am so glad she did not have to suffer long, but had no quality of life for a long time.

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Comments (47)

catlady15
17 years ago
solstice98
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. My mother passed when she was 89 just 2 years ago. It's hard to lose your mother, even when you feel like she's passed on to a better place. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Kate
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First of all let me tell you how sorry I am. I know the heartbreak of losing a mom. I suppose we all do, at least those of us who were close to our parents. But please...please...please do not blame yourself. We are humans and of course we would do anything in our power to prevent our most cherished loved ones to pass to the next world. But as humans, and yes even doctors...cannot stop God when HE decides it is time. All you did was stop a lot of suffering before she passed. You did the right thing. When my mom was nearing the end the doctors called me and said she needed a pacemaker. Do we want to do that or should we say she has been through enough. My dad and I both agreed we had gone too far to give up. We said go ahead. When my mom found out she cried that they put a pacemaker in her. She had already flat lined and they brought her back into this world, in pain, blind and suffering. She had briefly seen Heaven and was so upset we brought her back to continue her suffering on earth. So see? We are selfish on this side. It's because we don't want to lose them. But the other side is wonderful, and we will all be together again when God says it is our time. Nobody gets out of this thing alive. It sucks and even after 3 years I break down and ask why? But please don't blame yourself. You are human and don't have the power to choose the right time. Please post more and know there are others of us who have been through the pain and know what you are going through. Duane
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Hello all... thanks for all the kind words. I am still trying to struggle through the day. Somedays I am ok, but others not that great. It was her birthday on October 20th. She would have been 64 or "39" as she would have said. We went to the park and fed the ducks... she always liked to do that. I also brought daisys and popped the tops off and placed them in the water. I miss the way that I would call her and she would be willing to go with me on what ever adventure I wanted to go on that day. She was always there for me. I know I am lucky to have a person like that and that it was my Mom, but it hurts no less. I am trying to build a new "normal". It is rough though because everything I do reminds me of her. I started to move around furniture in our house and I was thinking that everything I touched we bought together. She was a great decorator and I have no decorating sense at all. I just wonder when the feeling that I am completly lost and alone will go away. The holidays are coming and I hate it. I think we are going to plan a vacation at Christmas so I don't have to think about it. I don't know about Thanksgiving. Mom used to make the best mashed potatoes. This is so freaking hard. I think I am going to check into counseling again. It is so hard because I put on a strong face when I am out, but crumble when I get to my car or at home. I talk to my husband, but I don't think he really understands. What do you all do for the holidays?? Any ideas on how to get through them?
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swhite218 and Tater08 - You remind me so much of how I felt when I had to deal with the very same situation you are dealing with right now. There are many things I can say but I'll pass along to you something that was passed along to me. Your life will never be the same as it was before. However, you will heal and your life will be great again. Life is about change and managing the different stages and events in your life. I'm very happy to see that you are sharing your feelings openly. This will help ease the tension over time. Please continue to share your feelings with those closest to you. They will help relieve your stress as well as remind you of the work you still must do to continue to grow the love you have for those still alive and well. I wish you peace, love and joy along your journey. Understand that we never "lose" anyone. Spirit can never be destroyed. We merely have to adjust the way we look at things and adjust how we relate to them as well. Sincerely, W. Marc Watts Here is a link that might be useful: Done With Grief
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Thanks mav.So sorry to hear about your husband.I dont know how you do it.I cant imagine not having my husband with me.Yesterday we had to take the car to the garage to get the brakes fixed so we used my mothers car which my dad now drives.When I got into the passenger side of her car I started to cry hysterically.My hands were shaking and I was gasping for breath.I hadnt been in her car without her ever.I was having a panic attack.Luckily,we didnt have far to go so I was home in about 10 minutes.I really feel like Im falling apart.This was a huge setback for me.Im really sorry to be whining but I cant help it.I just miss her so much.I dont think I can go on for much longer.
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caflowerluver
17 years ago
So sorry for your loss. It is hard when they lose the quality of life towards the end. I am starting to face that now with my Mom who is almost 91.
Clare
kiwidj
17 years ago
My deepest condolences to you and your family.

Take care of yourself.
nodakgal
17 years ago
I'm sorry. Hugs to you and yours.
grinch_gut
17 years ago
I am sorry for you loss.....Stacy
trinitytx
17 years ago
I am so sorry hellion for your sadness. I hope your mom is now in a peaceful place.

Trin
minnie_tx
17 years ago
So sorry to hear that
grammahony
17 years ago

My sympathies to you Hellion.
Leslie
socks
17 years ago
Deepest condolences. Mine has been gone 6 years now. We will always miss our moms. Take care.
vicki_lv_nv
17 years ago
Toni S
17 years ago
My sympathy to you Hellion.
deemarie5500
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Dee
Cherryfizz
17 years ago
Hellion, you have my sympathy. Never easy losing your Mom.
Hugs,

Anne
heather_on
17 years ago
Losing your mother no matter what age is really hard. Sending you special thoughts.
chattypatty49
17 years ago
Hellion, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 2 months ago. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Patty
FlamingO in AR
17 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss, Hellion. Losing a mom can't be easy, no matter what the circumstances.

My condolences, sweetie.
Nita__AZ
17 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.

((((Hellion))))
pattico_gw
17 years ago
So sorry to hear this....

I know it's hard even when expected.

Hugs for you and all your family.

patti
Pieonear
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss.
loagiehoagie
17 years ago
I lost my mom 3 years ago yesterday at 68 years of age. I sure wish she would have lived to 98. It never is easy to lose a parent, but I sure wish I had my mom 30 years past the time I did.

Duane
lydia1959
17 years ago
So sorry (((Hellion))). Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

(((Patty))) (((Duane)))
bunny_lover
17 years ago
Prayers for your family.
LorifromUtah
17 years ago
My thoughts are with you and your family.

Lori
Linda Wayman
17 years ago
My deepest condolences to you and your family. Hugs to all of you.
Linda
okwriter
17 years ago
I will pray for comfort for you and your family in the coming days.
phyllis__mn
17 years ago
Know that she is in peace now. Comforting thoughts to you and the family.

Phyllis
wanda_va
17 years ago
Extending heartfelt condolences to you. It is so hard, even after watching them suffer through dementia. Mothers are special. You and your family are in my prayers. Hugs.
sandy_in_ia
17 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss....losing a mother is never easy..no matter what the age. I lost mine 35 years ago at the age of 46, there are so many things I never got to experience with her.

I pray the memories will help you smile through the next few days/weeks/months/years!
evatx
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Zipper_TX
17 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear this, hugs and prayers sent your way.

((((Hellion & family))))
coral_ok
17 years ago
I'm so sorry, Hellion, that you had to lose your mother twice. Our family went through the same thing. Because of dementia, my mother left us a few years before she died. Even when you know there's no quality of life and that she wouldn't want to live like that, it's still very hard, isn't it? You may find, as I have, that somehow her death frees you to remember more vividly the person she used to be. I miss my mother every day. (((((((((Hellion))))))))))
Mickey15
17 years ago
I'm so sorry.
(((((Hellion)))))
petaloid
17 years ago
I am very sorry to hear this, and my thoughts are with you.
missindia2020
17 years ago
My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
donna37
17 years ago
So sorry for your loss special thoughts for you and your family at this time.
donna_oh
17 years ago
You have my sympathy Hellion-

Donna (^_^)
grittymitts
17 years ago
Losing your Mother is one of life's most difficult things to endure. May memories of your happiest days with her sustain you now.
Suzi
katclaws_mo
17 years ago
My deepest sympathies to you & your family. Dementia/alzheimers is such a very sad disease. I guess that's why they call it the longest goodbye. I pray that your happy memories will bring peace & comfort at such a difficult time.
Hellion
Original Author
17 years ago
Thank you all for your kind words.
lattefairy
17 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace. *hugs*
Granlan_TX
17 years ago
So sad about your dear mother. :(

(((((Hellion and Family)))))
lindaohnowga
17 years ago
tami_ohio
17 years ago
I'm so sorry. Your family is in my prayers.

Tami
koda04
17 years ago
My deepest sympathies to you and your family
I pray that God will comfort you all
kacram
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss..

((((hellion))))
jennmonkey
17 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss, Hellion. (((hellion and family)))

Lost my Mom also

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