Lost my mom and mother in law

Pattycat42

Hi everyone.This is my first posting although Ive been reading this forum for a couple weeks.On October 24th I lost my best friend,my mom.She was only 64 yrs old. We had talked the night before like we always did and by the next morning she was gone.Ever since that day my life has been turned upside down.I had a really tough November.I couldnt sleep,eat,or concentrate on anything.I walked around in a daze and just cried all the time.My husband was very worried about me and kept telling me I had to be here for my kids.I didnt care.My mom was gone amd my life was over.A couple weeks after my mom passed,my hubbys mother was diagnosed with liver and lung cancer.She suffered for a couple weeks and just passed away Dec 13. I wasnt able to go see her when she was dying and I feel bad about that but my hubby says she didnt even recognize anyone at the end.I feel like Im doing alot better now coping with my mothers death.I went to my doctor two weeks after my mom died and he started me on medication which I think is helping.I also am going to be starting counseling this coming week.The thing is,my mom died so unexpectedly.We talked the night before about all the things that we had planned for that week.Then she just died in her sleep.We were best friends and I just dont know how Im gonna go on without her.Some days I feel not too bad like I can go on,other days I just want to curl up and die.I think about her all the time.I miss her so much.Im also tormented wondering where she is now.My mom was no saint but she was a good mother who took good care of me and my brothers when we were kids.She was never mean or abusive.She was a loving grandmother.She was never religeous but she did believe in God. My greatest hope is that I will see her again some day.If I didnt have that then Id be dead by now.I think its also strange that my mother died so suddenly without warning and my mil died less than 2 months later and it was expected.I keep thinking of the 2 of them in Heaven together,talking about us down here,Well thank you for letting me share my story.

SaveComment6Like
Comments (6)
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
mav63_2007

I am so very sorry for your losses, that must be so hard. It is painful for you that your mom died in her sleep but it was a blessing for her not to suffer as you m-i-l did. I know your mom is in heaven and maybe she is with hubby's mom and they will both be looking over you and protecting their family.
God bless you and your family at this very difficult time of the year for those greiving.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Pattycat42

Thank you mav63 for your kind words.Today was a very difficult day for me.My husband and I feel like we're sinking and holding on to each other for dear life.Tonight my oldest daughter and I wrapped presents for my younger 2 daughters and it almost felt like any normal Christmas.We baked cookies today using my mothers recipes and I totally lost it.I dont know how I'll get through Christmas but I'm trying very hard for my children.My little one is so excited and I feel I must go on for her.Also my younger brother is falling apart and Im trying to be strong for him but I can barely function half the time so it is hard for me to comfort him.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
mav63_2007

I know it is hard, this is my 5th Christmas without my sweet husband, it does get a little better as time goes on. You do need to be strong for your family and for your mom's memory but mostly your need to be strong for yourself, you can't let yourself fall into a deep dark place that you can't climb out of, it will pay off, trust me. Mom is rooting for you. God Bless.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Pattycat42

Thanks mav.So sorry to hear about your husband.I dont know how you do it.I cant imagine not having my husband with me.Yesterday we had to take the car to the garage to get the brakes fixed so we used my mothers car which my dad now drives.When I got into the passenger side of her car I started to cry hysterically.My hands were shaking and I was gasping for breath.I hadnt been in her car without her ever.I was having a panic attack.Luckily,we didnt have far to go so I was home in about 10 minutes.I really feel like Im falling apart.This was a huge setback for me.Im really sorry to be whining but I cant help it.I just miss her so much.I dont think I can go on for much longer.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
mav63_2007

Yes you can, your husband lost him mom too and you need to help him. Panic attacks are normal, you can ask your doctor for medication, I did.
There will be a lot of firsts in you life and the pain will be intense but this will mellow as times goes on, promise. Your moms want you to live and be happy for each other and their grandchildren, they are leaving both of you in charge of the people they love most, you can't let them down.
I wish you peace and love.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
nana2010_gw

You will go on. I agree that you and your husband need to be there for each other. I know it is hard because you are overwhelmed by your own grief and sense of loss. But reaching out to others helps.
May the Good Lord help you through this difficult time.
Karen

Save    
Browse Gardening and Landscaping Stories on Houzz See all Stories
Inside Houzz What Mom Wants for Mother’s Day
You’re right about a nice dinner and time with family. Here’s what else will make Mom happy this weekend
Full Story
Houseplants Mother-in-Law's Tongue: Surprisingly Easy to Please
This low-maintenance, high-impact houseplant fits in with any design and can clear the air, too
Full Story
Mother’s Day Create a Cheery, Romantic Mother’s Day Tablescape
Surprise Mom this weekend with a relaxed and charming table setting with special ingredients you may already have
Full Story