First of all I would drop the Mr. and Mrs. and just say John and Mary Smith.

I would say that the parents are asking for a card shower for the newlyweds and note that there are no gifts requested. Maybe something like, "Because you share in our lives we ask that you share in our love with a card shower. (please, no gifts!)"

I would reword the parents' names, either Mr. & Mrs. John Smith or John and Mary Smith, since this is informal I would choose the latter.

An invitation is just an invitation. An announcement is just a announcement. Neither one is a bid for presents, and neither should ASK for *anything* other than a yes/no reply to an invittion to a wedding reception.

Be prepared that some who are NOT invited may be insulted to receive only an announcement.

You can do what you want INformally. Handwritten notes can inform friends and family of the couple's plans and welcome good wishes, commenting that they would treasure congratulatory cards and notes.

You can also host a gathering at home in honor of the couple shortly after their distant wedding.

(If you want to send *formal* invitations or announcements, consult a current 'Emily Post' on wording.)

Where will they wed? We've seen many, many weddings while visiting Hawaii for over 30 years. We're on Maui now.

She shouldn't be asking for anything... not a gift, and not even a card. An announcement is fine. I don't think a long explanation (or any explanation) is needed. Since, it's in Hawaii, people will assume it was a small intimate gathering.

If someone wants to send a card (or gift) because they are happy for the couple, they will. If the bride wants to receive numerous cards, then she should have a big wedding and invite a lot of people. You can't really have it all. I think asking for anything (especially when people are not invited to the celebration) is, for lack of a better word, tacky.

I see wedding announcements as formal announcements. Therefore, the wording seems appropriate to me. I like the full name --Robert instead of Bob. I also like to see the bride and groom's middle names as in a wedding invitation, and I think I would include the groom's last name to be sure everyone understands the couple's new name. So often, a remarriage has occurred, and the children have a different last name.

Mr. and Mrs. John David Smith
and
Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Allen Jones
are happy to announce the marriage of their children
Anne Marie
and
Robert James Jones
on
July 11, 2012
Honolulu, Hawaii

You can add their new address and when they will be "at home" or back from their honeymoon.

Etiquette books say that the announcements are mailed the day of the wedding, and that no mention is made of wedding gifts or no wedding gifts. However, with the new at home address, you might choose to break the "rules" and announce the card shower.

We invite you to join us in sending best wishes to the newly weds with a card shower. Mr. and Mrs. Robert James Jones will be at home at 12 Oceanview Road, Beverly Hills, California 90210, after July 28, 2012.

Pickyshopper, your announcement is worded all wrong. From "due to..til the end, that's all worded badly. Do exactly what Sheilajoyce had suggested--exactly like she stated it--"we invite you to.......... That's just perfect.

I agree that nothing should be said about "intimate gathering with only family . . . " Since this announcement will be sent AFTER the Hawaiian wedding is over, it's obvious that the wedding ceremony was a small affair.

I like what sheilajoyce said about joining you in a card shower.

Thank you for your help! No one was sure how to phrase the part about sending cards, while being clear they are not soliciting gifts. A 'card shower' sounds great! The sample announcement I gave you is from the bride's parents, so I'll pass on your suggestions, which I'm sure they'll appreciate. The wedding will be in Kauai and we're all very excited!

Frankly, I'm against announcements for any event where the person isn't invited to the ceremony. No matter what the ettiquette books say, an announcement is often mistaken for a request for a gift.

Instead, it would be far more appropriate, IMO, for each of you to call your friends or write a personal, casual note (rather than a formal printed announcement), telling your friends about the 'kids' big news. More personal, less demanding, less chance people will get the idea that the announcement is a gift grab. IF (and ONLY IF) someone asks, "What can they use?" you could suggest politely that they're pretty well set, but you're sure they'd appreciate a card full of good wishes (make NO mention that the bride requested this, that does sound tacky).

Best wishes to the couple. DD is the bridesmaid in a destination wedding in a couple of months and is really looking forward to the experience. Mom, of course, is just sad I won't get to see her in her beautiful dress at the ceremony.

Don't have much to add, but noticed you mentioned Ottawa in your original post.

Lovely city, lived there for 23 years before moving to Vancouver, BC.

Honestly in this day and age people do whatever they want to do and if you want to announce the marriage and ask for cards then so be it. You might consider making it just a friendly note type announcement and cut down on the formality and that should set you up then to ask for cards for the bride and groom..and something like sheilajoyce said...

Rather than gifts, we invite you to join us in sending best wishes to the newly weds with a card shower. Mr. and Mrs. Robert James Jones will be at home at 12 Oceanview Road, Beverly Hills, California 90210, after July 28, 2012.

Maybe just an announcement that the wedding has taken place a nd a reception will be given them when they return to Ottawa at a later date . The wedding has been announced a reception is anticipated and the recipients can do what they like send a gift or card .(their decision)

This is a really sticky situation to me. If I was asked to send a card, I couldn't send an empty one and would wonder if this is a subtle cash grab which I know isn't what you intended. They aren't exactly eloping with the immediate family attending so there really isn't the practical need of an announcement. I'd probably follow Azzalea's suggestion. The couple will have plenty of other things to scrapbook of their Hawaiian wedding. What a wonderful place for wedding memories! A card shower from friends who are not invited seems a little meaningless to me. It's not as if they really shared in the event. I would scrapbook cards that were sent but I wouldn't be soliciting them. I'd probably let friends know ahead of the wedding and call it a family wedding and leave it at that.

I know this comes across as a little harsh and I really don't mean to be.

I feel the same as Holly. If I were asked to send a card, I'd feel obliged to put something in in. I think uninvited friends and family should receive a handwritten note telling about the wedding unless you are having a reception in which case printed announcements/invitations would be preferred.

Facebook, isn't that what everyone does anymore? HA! OK I'm really just joking but it seems as if everything you ever wanted to know about anyone is announced on FB these days.

Maybe it would be best if the bride and the groom write to their friends and family a note hand written to tell everyone the good news. I just don't think it's really all the big of a deal anymore. The people that I know that went out of town to marry never bothered sending any sort of an announcement to those that could not attend.

Hi again. Further responses have given us more to think about. There won't be any reception after the couple return. Because we both have such large families, they are basically eloping (but graciously gave immediate family the option to join them) because they cannot afford the expense such a large reception would entail.

Phoning the absent friends and relatives would mean calling almost 400 people, so everyone thought a mailed announcement would be much less time consuming. However, I can understand how some people feel that any type of formal announcement would appear to be a gift solicitation.

My future DIL truly is a very sentimental young lady who has saved every card she has ever received since she was about 10 years old. She honestly hoped she could receive cards commemerating her MARRIAGE to my son, even if they could not invite our huge families to their wedding. But it has been pointed out that this is tacky or might not be possible without appearing like there is some ulterior motive. Well, I'll pass everything on to them and let the cards fall where they may, I guess. Thanks for all your input!

Oh...and Best Wishes to the happy couple! It doesn't get much better than starting married life in Hawaii, whether they marry here or just honeymoon.

You know, another option would be to just have a friend pass along the request informally. Although it is generally inappropriate to ask for something for yourself or for a very close relative, maybe a good friend could let the word out that the bride to be really enjoys, saves, and loves cards. The request could be as simple as a behind the scenes message in facebook to mutual friends. And a cousin could send out the word to other cousins, etc...

I can see them honeymooning there but why not get married over here andenjoy all the fuss and fun?