OMG, Oakley, those are great stories! I think many of us can relate to the TG table story. How funny!

Mine:
TG when DS was was probably 6 y/o. While the rest of us were finishing up dinner, he and our friend's 10 y/o DD discovered the pies cooling on the kitchen counter. What started out as a couple of finger dips into one of the pumpkin pies, quickly turned into face-plants as those two literally put their faces into the pie and ate 2/3 of it before they heard us coming. They tried to look innocent but their faces, covered with pumpkin pie filling, gave those two little rascals dead away (LOL!).

Christmas: When DS was 2 y/o, DH bought him (on his lunch hour . . . without me) a remote control front loader for Christms that was almost as big as he was. Christmas afternoon found DH engrossed with the toy, while DS played happily with the box and wrapping paper!

Lynn

DH has always been great about taking the kids out to buy their special Christmas gift for me. They make a special afternoon of it with lunch out together and all. (As a matter of fact, that's where DH & DD are right now!). Anyhoo, the year that DS was five, they stopped at the big Hallmark store across from the hospital, where our son found his idea of "the perfect gift for Mommy" . . . a large, black skull candle, leftover from Halloween in a sale bin there. I heard the story later from the store owner about how she and her staff shamelessly eavesdropped in on the 20-some minute conversation, doubled over with silent laughter, as DH patiently tried to talk DS into buying me something more "girly" while DS excitedly tried to convince his dad that Mom would LOVE a big black skull candle for Christmas and how it "would look perfect on the coffee table in front of the tree".
DH and DS finally found a compromise gift of a truck tree ornament and a necklace for me. The owner was so taken with DH's loving patience and gentle humor, that she and her family became patients of his.
Lynn

This was in the 70's when I was a teenager. I bought a new pair of jeans and put them in the washer to soften them. I did not know that my dad had put the turkey in the utility tub next to the washer to thaw..(and no body got sick and died). The washer drained into the utility tub. I came to the basement to put my jeans in the dryer and the turkey was floating in blue water....I called my dad and he said not to tell anyone....I was the only one not to eat turkey that year.

Such great stories! I don't have terribly funny experiences, but a cute one...Christmas Eve I tried to get the kids to bed, but had little luck. We kept telling them that Santa couldn't come till everyone was in bed, so they headed off to their rooms. I could hear the boys giggling in their room and then I heard DD2 (who was 6 at the time) loudly whisper to them "BE QUIET! I heard the reindeers on the roof!" And the boys gasped and shut up really fast.

That morning as they were opening gifts she told us that she heard the reindeer on the roof and she saw the shadow of Santa's sleigh on her window shade. She was utterly serious! That same year at Easter she was up early and caught me as I was trying to hide eggs. Her eyes got really big when we heard a thump on the porch (the dog) and she whispered "mommy, do you think that's the Easter Bunny?" I whispered back yes, and she quickly ran back to bed to wait till her sister got up so it would be safe to come out.

Only other story is the year my Aunt was getting married. The wedding was on December 26th and my Mom was hosting Christmas dinner. She'd had the 28 lb turkey sitting in the sink thawing (they did that back in the 70's!) and our dog got hold of it while everyone was at the rehearsal dinner. We got home to find a VERY sick dog and a half eaten half frozen turkey carcass. Dad had to find an emergency vet (on Christmas Eve) and mom luckily found a butcher open so she could find a ham instead. The dog survived, but my mom has never trusted another dog since.

Those are great stories! Lynn, did you crack up finding the pumpkin faces?

Pesky, don't tell anyone, but I thaw my turkey in the sink for a full day before I put it in the fridge. And it's still frozen. Those things take a week to thaw in the fridge!

Like you, none of us have ever been sick. lol

Hopefully others will chime in with funny stories!

Here's one that involved me. I was a picky eater as a kid. I loathed TG dinner. Just loathed it. I hated everything on the menu (traditional southern fare) except the rolls and mashed potatoes.

I hated turkey, stuffing and all pies. I still don't eat any form of pumpkin pie, and I do like Pecan Pie, but it's not my favorite.

Now I could wolf down all the stuffing by myself. I can eat all the stuffed celery, olives, everything! Oh, and if there are deviled eggs, I'll hoard them. :)

I felt sorry for my parents. They'd take me and my brother to fancy restaurants about once a month and they'd always get mad at me for ordering a hamburger. :)

Well, I told this story on cathrugg's thread about Christmas tree decorating strategy a few days ago, so skip this if you've already heard it, but...

I'm OCD about tree decorating, and am constantly re-arranging things and can never get it just right. So one night I was up by myself around 1 am, still trying to get it right, and I was standing up on a chair re-arranging the lights, fell off the tree, and pulled the tree down on myself! I was lying there, pinned to the floor by a Christmas tree. And, (this is pathetic) water spilled all over me, and if I hadn't unplugged it, I might have been electrocuted.

Unfortunately, I still can't leave my tree alone. Like I said in cathrugg's thread, I try to let others decorate it.

I meant, fell (backwards) off the chair, not "fell off the tree" I haven't yet climbed up on a tree trying to fix it!

There was a horrible Thanksgiving in 2004 involving in-laws, embezzlement, crack addiction, police and a house burned with a dead body (not a relative) in it . . . but that's more than anyone needs to know already.

For good stories, I'll offer this: My dad is a Ph.D physicist. I was about a senior in high school. Dad and I were hard at work trying to assemble some sort of pedal car fire truck for my little brother. Things were not going well. At one point dad threw down a wrench and shouted "you shouldn't have to be a rocket scientist to put this $*^@ thing together!!" I was quiet for a moment then said "but Dad, you ARE a rocket scientist." He whipped his head around at me and paused for a minute, then said" well, you shouldn't have to be a brain surgeon to put one of these things together!" Then we both collapsed in fits of laughter. We finally did get it put together, but it took us a looooong time.

When I was a kid it was traditional in my household for Dad to cook dinner on Christmas Eve to give Mom a break. He was a good cook, albeit with a somewhat limited repertoire. One year he was making his old standby enchiladas and accidentally grated part of his thumb into the cheddar cheese! We hunted for it, but couldn't find it. After which he told me not to tell anyone! Funny how many of these stories end with that...

Christmas ham. When cleaning up, I asked my 9 year old to give the leftover to the dog. He came into the kitchen and said there was something wrong with the dog. It wouldn't touch the ham and just sat and looked at the leftover. Son had given him the whole ham left and the dog must have been seriously confused.

This may not sound kind, but my daughter always has a sense of humor and she still comments on the "oops". She is legally blind, but cooks as well as I do and this incident could probably happen to anyone. She always bakes the pies. One year we were presented with pies that had frozen premade crusts. To all of our surprise, she had not kown that these have paper on them and couldn't be seen. Pies were baked with it. We ate the filling, which was the best part anyway.

Emagineer, I think that's a sweet story! My first TG turkey I cooked it with the insides still in the paper! That's when dh took over cooking it in the smoker. lol