Dean had a really bad cold about 4 years ago. He was trying to surpress coughs and sneezes and tossing and turning. He told me if the other bed had a heating blanket on it...he would sleep in there. By the evening, the bed was made and ready for him! =)

Besides that, we have a queen size bed, and 3 cats that sleep 'towards' the end of the bed....they take up alot of room and there wasn't much room for us! Now, I have the queen size bed and 3 cats, and some times it is STILL hard to find a spot for myself! LOL

Our son and his DW have seperate bedrooms, our DD that just got married...they have seperate bedrooms too. Both the girls work EARLY hours, and the guys are night owls! As we all say.....there are visiting rights! LOL ;b

Yes, when one of our daughter's got married, in their 20's they had separate bedrooms from the beginning. With us it was in our 40's. Health problems with my husband.

Sue

I'd bet *snoring* has a lot to do with it. My first best friend and her DH had separate bedrooms...because SHE snored. (Always did. I remember from childhood sleep-overs where she slept and I didn't.)

I just remembered how lucky I thought I was when I discovered that my DH didn't snore. Now we both do, sometimes.

Larry's got flannel sheets and about five blankets on his bed. I would roast. I have one light blanket and my window is open 3 or 4 inches at all times. Plus he snores. Like a freight train.

HD snores and is hot blooded. I'm cold blooded and a toss and turner, so last fall we went to separate bedrooms. We both sleep better but it sure is different after 46 1/2 years in the same bed. As to the other thread, we always slept with the door opened unless we had visitors but now I sleep with the door shut every night.

My SIL started sleeping in a separate bedroom because her snoring kept my brother awake. She has a CPAP machine now and is back in the same bed.
My husband also has a CPAP machine, I have a humidifier and Air purifier going so noise doesn't bother me, or him.
I do go in the guest bedroom if either one of us is sick. Sometimes it helps, sometimes we both end up sick anyway.

I fought the separate bedrooms for about 12 years. Had separate ones, and moved, and went back together. Then, after 12 years of bad sleeping, and getting vertigo from an always moving bed, we slept in separate beds. Worked great. The room was big enough to have two queen sized beds in it. Moved again, and now separate rooms. It's the BEST for sleeping with active snoring partners! :)

Moni

I just can't imagine sleeping in separate beds, let alone separate bedrooms. Not knocking it for those who choose it, though. We both like to spoon and cuddle even though I'm in my mid-50's and he's nearly 60. On the rare occasions that he has been out of town I don't sleep well at all because he's not there to hold onto. When one of rolls, the other does too, even when asleep.

Yes, he snores loudly, but I have been told that on some nights I may outdo him, LOL.

With a good bed and mattress, you should not feel it when your partner tosses and turns.

LOL--does separate houses, 30 miles away count?

I spend half the week in the new house, getting it ready for us to move in, while DH stays at the old one because it's closer to his work. Honestly? I do get a much better night's sleep when I'm there, in bed alone. Love being able to stretch out.

But no--we sleep in the same bed, in the same room when we're in the same county. My husband really hates going to bed without me next to him, I can't really imagine him ever being okay with us ever sleeping in different beds when we were both in the same house. And while we talk all day long, when we're together, some of our best conversations take place in bed, before we go to sleep

If your bedmate (or you) have a snoring problem, I beg you to have a sleep apnea test. Apnea sounds harmless enough--just snoring--but it can be fatal. Not only are you suffering from their snoring, but they aren't getting a good sleep either, even though it may seem like it.

DHarry still thinks apnea may have been the cause of his son's death when he was only 45. And believe me, that boy could snore almost as loud as his father. DH has a C-PAP now--no more snores!!

We started having separate bedrooms due to DH's snoring.
I used to want to kill him due to it and now we get along very well.
I think this started when he was in his mid to late 60's and I am 9 years younger.
He doesn't snore much anymore since he lost some weight and quit drinking.

We go through periods where DH snores night after night. I can't take it, so I'll go to the spare room. It will last a few nights and then we get back together for awhile until I start losing sleep again. He can sleep through anything. I on the other hand need quiet with no one breathing on me!

We have not slept in the same room for ages! I am a night owl and the doggie let out in the middle of the night gal.
He sleeps through a freight train, or at least pretends to....this arrangement works well for us.

Trin

We have never had separate bedrooms but we often end up with one of us missing from our bed. We have a guest room but we don't even use that. My DH often falls asleep in his recliner and will sleep there till morning or till 3 or 4 in the morning. I have a recliner in my sewing room and I often sleep there when I am having some difficulty getting comfortable, breathing or my pain is at a level that I am tossing and turning and to spare him, I sleep in my chair. They suggested I get one to use after the lung surgery and it has been a godsend...I end up there two or three times a week ...sometimes for the whole night and some times just for a few hours.

Jerry can out snore everyone. People say, it is the heavy folks that snore... but we think, he's special. LOL. Same goes for sleep apnea, mostly heavy set people have it, but my slim and trim hubby has it so bad, he shakes the bed, when he comes up for air.

He won't use his machine. Can't be persuaded. Yep, sleeping in the other room works for us. :)

Moni

Well, since DH has been gone for 10 years now, I sleep alone anyway. But, we were married for 6 years. After about 2, he moved to the extra bedroom. His choice. He slept with a c=pap, and said he didn't want the noise to bother me. It didn't bother me at all. But I learned to like the bed to myself. He had visiting rights, but didn't use them due to 'problems', which is what I think was the real reason he chose to have his own room.
Leslie

Wow, that's a lot of separate sleepers. I would have never believed it. I have never thought about it for myself. What ever works.

Nope - we share the same bed. Although Twinkie would probably tell you that he does more sharing than I do! LOL
I also snore, pull covers and talk in my sleep. All that being said - he says that he couldn't sleep without me in the bed. Go figure.....LOL

When I got married (at age 22), it took me a long time to get used to sleeping with someone. I was an only child, and never had to share. Also, although I'm affectionate by nature and very much a toucher, when it's time to sleep I do best with no sensory stimulation whatsoever--no lights, no noise, no touch. (One of my babies was the same way--I could never rock her to sleep, and once, in desperation at a restaurant, we put her under the table, where she fell asleep immediately.)

Because my DH has been gone four years and was in a nursing home for three years before that, I'm back to my "only child" ways and can't imagine sleeping with someone again. (I'm talking sleep now, not sex.) LOL

I can't imagine sleeping in separate beds/rooms. When our friends that do the seperate sleeping talks about it...DH always tells them "Cheryl would wear out the carpet" A few occasions have had us seperated at night and it was miserable for both of us. His snoring is my nite music! LOL
So same room, same bed for us

Wow - that's interesting - there are a lot of his and hers bedrooms. I still can't see that for myself but I can see how it could lead to a better night's sleep. I find the whole sleep apnea and c-pap machine thing interesting too. I guess it's a serious deal for some people but I can't help but think it's a bit overblown - like a c-pap machine is sold to everyone who complains about snoring. How did everyone get along before 1965 when they "discovered" this condition?

My DH and I sleep in separate rooms, have done so for many years..alisande Im so glad to hear that there are others like me, I cant stand to be touched while Im sleeping not to mention that my DH shows no respect to me getting a good nights rest, he will turn on lights, open and close doors.. its simply nerve wrecking not to mention that when he snores you can hear him even with ear plugs in and one level down..NO thank you

gibby, they probably died in their sleep. (I find the whole sleep apnea and c-pap machine thing interesting too.) It's call advancement in medicine technology. I used to lay next to my husband, and just wait for him to take another breath. People died of polio before they found a shot for it too. I can't explain it. Hopefully someone else can and will. All I do know is my husband felt so much more rested, and had more energy after a good nights sleep with his c-pap machine. Nuf said.

Hubs and I have shared a bed since 1981. Yes, we've slept alone, but that's when he was working out of town, and that hasn't happened in a loooong time.

"I find the whole sleep apnea and c-pap machine thing interesting too. I guess it's a serious deal for some people but I can't help but think it's a bit overblown - like a c-pap machine is sold to everyone who complains about snoring. How did everyone get along before 1965 when they "discovered" this condition?"

As Grammahony just said, folks used to die in their sleep from the apnea; and no doubt a bunch of them died in other ways but as a result of the apnea. With apnea, the person doesn't get enough oxygen during the night, and sleep deprivation can lead to all sorts of problems, such as falling asleep at the wheel when driving a car, or falling asleep while operating heavy/dangerous machinery, etc.

My hubs has sleep apnea, and I used to be awake most of the night not only because he made a huge racket snoring, but also because I was always afraid that he wouldn't take the next breath. I didn't want to ever wake up to discover that he had died during the night in bed next to me.

I don't have sleep apnea, but I do have an "upper airway obstruction." Sometimes I'd snore, but mostly I wouldn't. BUT, I wasn't getting enough oxygen, and after a sleep study my ENT specialist said that I was severely sleep deprived -- that I never got into REM sleep. And, without REM sleep, your body doesn't really restore itself.

Hubs and I both use a CPAP now. We have identical machines, but they're at different settings. With a properly fitted mask, the machines are so quiet that you can't really hear them at all. And they make a HUGE difference in how well we sleep and how we feel the next day!

And for folks who travel by air --- a CPAP machine can be taken onboard as a carry-on, but it does NOT count as an allowed piece. That is, you can still take one carry-on and one personal item (or however many carry-on items your airline allows). A CPAP is a medically necessary device and must be allowed to be carried on with you. It, however, will still need to be inspected at the security checkpoint.

I moved into the spare room when my DH became temporarily disabled for more than a year some years back.

Now we share a bed again but with various health issues at times it is nice to have that other bed (Queen-sized) ready in the spare room. I let DH stay in the master when we do sleep apart since I have made the spare room my little "nest". It's one room that is all mine unless we have an overnight guest.

DH does have sleep apnea and uses a CPAP. I actually finally the gentle sound it makes soothing.

On the other hand I am such a night owl I am often just coming to bed when he is getting up. Even when we were younger and slept in one bed all the time I was known to go to bed with him, nap an hour and then get up and go off to do my night wandering. LOL

I donÂt post on this forum but enjoy reading it almost daily. I just wanted to add that sleep apnea is often misunderstood you donÂt just go get a machine you must have a sleep study done with a specialist thatÂs sets your machine to the numbers that help you the most. You need to be retested every few years to make sure your settings are still working the best they can for you. I almost lost my dad to sleep apnea years ago before they knew much about it. He was just retested and his new machine, a by-pap, changes setting as he sleeps and his breathing changes. He said he can tell the difference in how good he is sleeping and how good he feels during the day. With apnea the person doesn't get enough oxygen and over time it affects every organ in the body and eventually causes a heart attack or stroke. I have read cases of people who were thought to have dementia even one they thought had alzheimerÂs who completely came back to normal after using a c-pap just for a few days. Oxygen deprivation can cause loss of brain function very quickly. I know with my dad the Dr. said without the machine he would have died within a few months and that was 15 years ago. If you have a loved one who refuses to use their machine please remind them that itÂs not just about getting sleepy during the day but they are doing damage to every organ in there bodyÂs, especially their hearts, and that over time it will kill them.

As he got older, DH snored all night and went to bed hours before me and stayed in bed later if he wasn't working. Then he had the nerve to tell me he had not slept much that night! I am a light sleeper and just could not function on so little sleep with 3 kids.

I spent a year or two complaining that I just could not go on like this. Finally, I moved into the guest room. Finally, I also could read in bed before turning out the lights as I go to bed hours after DH does.

Eventually I got to snoring too; so now when we travel, we don't look forward to trying to sleep with our noisy bed partner.

Our bed is so big that we don't even know if the other person is in it. Woody's a very polite snorer. If he gets loud, which is rare, I just have to stretch out really far and touch him and he'll mumble an apology and roll over. :)

I don't see separate bedrooms for us, ever. I'm glad, who would warm up my side before I climb in? lol

Seperate bedrooms sound good to me, but we share a bed for now. DH snores and grinds his teeth. I use earplugs quite often.

I sleep so good by myself when he is off on a hunting trip.

We also have separate bedrooms.DH sounds like a Shermn Tank when he snores,and i was always elbowing him to turn over. He's always cold, likes his door closed and goes to bed by 7:30 a lot of nights.I on the other hand am a night owl,bedtime for me is usually between 12:30 and 1:00 am,and even then i have trouble sleeping.I sleep with 2 fans on ,the window open a few inches, the door open,he closes it when he gets up in the morning so he doesn't wake me up.And i'm surrounded by 5 pillows,2 under my head,one on each side of my body,and one to put under my arm.One of the body pillows made it into the bed after my knee replacement and the u/arm pillow since my BC.

DH also gets up very early,5-5:30.Guess that goes back to his military days,and DS #3 is just like him.

It works for us,we've been married 52 years.
Kathi

Sleep apnea can also cause right-sided heart failure, contributing to heart disease. Many people who have sleep apnea are obese or overweight, so they may have some level of heart disease and/or diabetes in addition. But as Moni stated, even thin people can have sleep apnea. In my practice, many people who have sleep apnea are undiagnosed. I don't think it is overblown or overdiagnosed, rather the opposite.

Flamingo, it's likely you will never need this piece of advice, but for anyone else wondering how to pre-heat your beds, I enthusiastically recommend an electric mattress pad. I feel almost affectionate toward mine. :-)

Thanks for the add'l info on sleep apnea. I'll have to do some more reading about it. I've just found it amazing that practically every male I know over age 50 now has sleep apnea and a c-pap machine yet I've never known anyone who has died in their sleep at this age. Seems like it's an epidemic problem though. I have thought that one guy I work with must have it and not have the machine. He falls asleep in every meeting - either narcolepsy or sleep apnea.

DH and I have had seperate bedrooms for about 15 years,due to his snoring and because we have totally opposite temperature control issues.LOL. Up until about 8 years ago his was on the opposite end of the house from mine but now,(at home at least),it's adjacent to mine.Here in NM he is down the hall from me.I'm sure at this point,I can run a pretty good snoring race with him! Guess it hasn't affected our marriage either as we will celebrate our 50th. anniversary next month.LOL

with an upstairs bedroom, after my hyst in 06, i stayed downstairs on the office bed. now i roam, lol...sofa, office, the 2 spare bedrooms...dh does go to bed earlier than i do, and gets up at 5am...didn't help with the lumpectomy, either...

as for age, i'm 63, lol...

Thanks, Susan. I actually had one of those a long time ago in a previous "life". I loved it, but when I washed it and hung it on the line to dry, my rotten dog destroyed it! I never did replace it, but I would if I needed to.

Hubby and I were considering seperate bedrooms at one time/ but he has now lost some weight so snoring is no longer a problem.. he has to get up several times a night to go to the bathroom, I am a very light sleeper so that did create a problem.. We invested in a tempurpedic mattress, the one with memory foam.. I now don't know when he gets out of bed in the night, so we a both happy to be sleeping togather..

We have separate bedrooms due to health problems. I'm not so sure I get any better sleep though.

We share, and WON'T go to seperate beds/rooms. He spent many years on midnight shift, so those years I spent alone in our bed. We both hated it. My parents' motor home has seperate bunks in it. When we started looking, we both said it had to be one bed!

I do wish DH would have a sleep apnea test done. I KNOW he has it and needs a machine. Like Leslie, I quite often lay awake waiting for him to take his next breath. On those nights, when I can stand waiting no more, I have to touch him to make him breath. I can not touch him in the same place more than once, cause it doesn't work the second time in the same place. It is also hereditary. His niece became a sleep therapist because my MIL had narcalepsy. My
SIL has a c-pap and at least two of their cousins have them also. DH has heard all the complications, and me gritching at him to get tested and how many times I had to make him breath, but he still won't go. I just pray that I don't wake up to him dead beside me. Or dead due to complications from it.

Tami....who also loves the t-pedic mattress!

separates here...what prompted it...SNORING !!!!!

We only have separate rooms for "sleeping" 8)

Yes I know...we are old...but there is still a fire in the fireplace.

Separate here too. I never did learn to sleep well with another body in my bed, and DH never did either. Neither of us had to share growing up..maybe that's the reason. Also, he goes to bed shortly after supper and gets up about 3 a.m. He is a sprawler and bed-wrecker, while I tend to sleep virtually without moving. Once DH is really asleep, woe will befall the person who touches him at ALL..he comes up swinging! Separate rooms is probably the only reason we are still married after 23 years.