My husband is 67, I am 53, second marriage for him. We have been married since 1982, seems to be working fine!

Cmama, it seems to me that you and your husband can both claim the 50s AND the 60s. In what ways does the age difference matter...regarding the decades?

Cmama, I have a pal that is 10 years older than her DH and she says in the early years it was not as much of a problem as it is now~~~she is 64 wants to retire from the family business and he is not having it. He has higher energy and wants to go out and do things that are too much for her now~~~she has a lot of health problems that he has no time for.

I am 2 years and 2 months older than my DH~~each of my DD's are with men 2-3 years younger than them. We LOL we are the cougar family.

I think the age difference would matter as you age because of health and energy levels. My DD#2 her Bf's mom was about 22-24 years younger than her husband, he became ill she retired from teaching to stay home with him. He passed a 1 1/2 years ago and she is not adjusting at all. She seems to have gone off course, I told the BF I believe she needs counselling ASAP she is not even 60 yet and acts way older.

I think the main thing is for the younger partner to have their own life to a point~~meaning your own social life, hobbies things that you can be into. That is the problem I see with DD's BF's mom she had no life but taking care of and being with her DH and now the poor lady is lost as to what to do with her life~~~~always take care of yourself 1st.

My father's second wife was 31 years younger than him. It was fun for a short while. They married when he was in his early 60's. By his 70's he retired and she had an old man around the house all day, plus a much reduced income. What friends they had were his age, since most people her age were so much more active. Then he had a debilitating stroke and she spent her late 40's and early 50's caring for him. No friends, no travel. She could not care for her grandchildren from a previous marriage and him, too. He died and then she died about five years later, at age 55. She struggled financially in her last years because they went through so much caring for him. It was all very sad and something I do not recommend. Don't marry someone as old as your parents!

I think a 15 year difference is the max, but who can say for sure. There is an awful lot to be said for being in the same generation.

My dh is a few years older than me. We are almost 7 years apart in age. We are starting to see a few differences. There is a sweet baby girl possibly going up for adoption in a few months. Dh feels like he is too old to adopt her and be a good parent when she becomes older. My grandmothers were still having babies when they were my age. I'd love to be her mother. My kids said they'd love to have her as a little sister. I can appreciate my dh's opinion. We need to do what works best for our family. Fortunately, my db and his wife said they will adopt little miss sweetness if the opportunity presents itself. Db and his wife are young than both of us.

Adella, I'm rooting for you to get that sweet baby girl.

My husband is ten years older than, I am . In all of our years together It has not been that much of an issue. He actually gets around much better than me these days. His health is better and he can do more. Our problem will come when he decides to retire, I will not be eligible for medical benefits yet, my coverage is through his company insurance, when that is gone I am going to be in a serious situation till I get of age. And with all of my medical issues that is not good.

I personally would not want the age difference between us to be more than it is. I am right in the middle, ten years younger than him, ten years older than his son. We have no children, he has the one son.

It has been a growing experience for both of us. Ups and downs of course but definitely a keeper.

I guess that DH and I have the one of biggest age differences at 17 years.

So, yes of course, there are pros and cons to any marriage. We went into it with wide open eyes. We knew there would likely be a time when I became a caregiver. But, hey, either one of us could have died anywhere along the way! I'm glad we didn't.

We planned very carefully for our financial future, to make sure I wouldn't be left destitute if he developed health problems. We both have long term care insurance. When he retired, he took a reduced pension from his employer, so that I will receive a benefit for life.

I wouldn't change a thing about my life. New Year's Day was our 28th anniversary, and we've been living together for 32 years. I'll be 56 in a few days, and DH is 73.

Mary c described our situation pretty much on the money. Harry will be 82 soon and I just turned 69 a few months ago. We've been married 31 years. Other than that, just read Mary's post and add my name to it.

I am 64, DH is 77 (for a few more weeks). He doesn't look or seem that much older to me, most of the time. We have lots of fun together and lots in common. We love to go out dancing, but I'd stay for at least 3 sets, he is ready to go home after the second. He requires a lot more sleep than I do, but he as always been like that. It works great for us.

My husband was 13 years older. For most of our 40-year marriage he had more energy than I. We were different in many ways, but most, if not all, of those differences had nothing to do with age.

I agree that the difference might not seem an obstacle early on, but could easily become one later, as the older partner's health and energy levels decline.

My DH is three years older than I am. We've been married 48 years. Even with that little age difference, we had some 'adjusting' to do when he took early retirement! LOL

There is *no way* I am physically able today to do what I did when we building a new house twelve years ago, but I had no clue about that then, and I really can't guess how I'll feel in another five or ten years! Since then I've had two hip replacements, a staghorn calculus removed, and a third sinus surgery. I am SO grateful to have a healthy and supportive DH, and to be able to be of support to him!

Yes, we share the same 'history', although he remembers a little more about WWII than I do. Our HS and college years overlap. We were of similar ages experiencing world events, and we hum the same 'golden oldies'.

It's amazing to me that I never looked at 'older women' and thought anything about BECOMING one!

My mother was about 13 years younger than my dad. He adored her. Yet, she died at 49 of liver cancer. He was lost without her and died 8 years later. They were both smart and wise people, as as one of their children, I did not see a difference.

My DH is 16 years older than I am. He is physically fit, I have had 2 knee replacements and can't get around as well as he can. Everything on the home front seems ok til we get to the bedroom. I haven't had sex in 20 years. I am 73. Yes, I was fairly young when he had prostate cancer and that ended the sex. I miss it, but a good marriage is much more than that. I have all I want or need so I have truly been blessed. This is the second marriage for both of us. His wife died of cancer and my husband had a heart attack. We will soon be married for 30 years. I would not advise to marry anyone that many years older, but who is to say what will happen in other people's lives. If I had it to do over knowing what I know now, I would still do the very same thing.

I say go for the younger man, he has a better chance of living longer.