Hi ogoopogo and everyone, Dad is ok. The hospital didn't find anything seriously wrong with dad, thank goodness. They give him an oxygen machine due to being a little low sometimes. I think he wanted to go to the hospital because he knows the place so well. They told him he needed to do rehab and he said he wanted to do it there at the hospital, of course they told him they don't do it there and he had to go to a rehab place. When I went to see dad at the hospital he was sleeping and he looked so peaceful after all he's been through. I just let him sleep while I made a run over to his doctors office to ask questions. The night he was brought back to the nursing home he was so confused he didn't know where he was. I walked into the home the next evening to see how he was doing and he asked me if he was in a hotel. Well, you can just imagine what a shock it was for me to hear how confused dad was. I told him he was back at the skill nursing home. He asked if he was close to a town that is nearly 100 miles away from where we live cause on the way to the nursing home he thought they had taken the south exit instead of the north exit. He was scared to death, telling me he just knew he was going to be killed by the people there. He said they came with some pills not long after he'd gotten back and he thought they were giving him something bad. He said that he just gave up and thought if they were going to kill him he hoped it would be fast. He did say that later he looked around the room trying to put things together. He looked into the drawers and seen his thing's in there and noticed the bathroom looked familiar but just couldn't quite get it through his mind where he was. I went by today and he was much better and more himself as best as he could be that is. I know I'll be loosing him and I'm sure the first time he does not know who I am is going to be shocking, painful and hard to take. It was good to see he was better today. I is hard to hear dad talk like this and there's no way to really comfort him at least I don't know what to say. I did tell him I wouldn't have him in a place that would harm him but coming from the AL he doesn't feel safe. I don't know what all went on at the AL but it sure left him scared and hurt. He said they laughed at him when he'd tell them he was having chest pains. He also said that they fed them green beans and noodles everyday. I have seen them laugh at some of the thing's the residents did. Like one lady was sitting next to a window and she took the drape and draped it across her lap. They workers started playing with the lady asking her questions about the drape and the lady would make a commit and they'd laugh at her. Dad said they abused them by not letting them by not letting them have some food and sugar for tea or coffee. I'm wondering if I should report them of not? I feel should. I know dad is very concerned for the ones still living at the AL home. Barb

Hi Suzie. It's a tough situation for you. I know in my case my husband wanted to share our babies with everyone! It was up to me to be the gatekeeper and he often did not approve. I even enacted a ban on Sunday visitors b/c it seemed his dad wanted to visit every week and I was in NO mood for that. I needed time to adjust and settle in with two babies. People just don't get it! The FIL also wanted their relatives from Scotland (4 of them) to stop by and see them two hours after their plane touched down. I said "No Way" at that time and relented a week later after the relatives showed no signs of illness! I'm really not paranoid or a germaphobe as some mothers might be thinking. I'm actually a student nurse and deal with germs every day. And I've seen babies in the NICU struggling to breathe. My girls recently had colds one is still waking herself up at least 5 times a night coughing. She even choked on her phlegm one evening to the point of turning purple (very frightening!). I know for a fact that the germs came from Grandma and Auntie at Xmas. They failed to tell us that they had colds b/c they wanted to see the babies (or else they just didn't think). It is just not worth it to subject these helpless babies to any germs if you can help it. If you have doctor's advice to keep people away, that is a great excuse. In fact, I made up an excuse like that for my SIL. I told her the pediatrician said not to expose them to children for at least a month. That was in order to keep the peace b/c she was very defensive that I would not let her children visit. Anyway, I ramble. :-) As for breastfeeding, I'm sorry that I don't have any advice for you there. My girls were given formula in the hospital while I pumped to establish my supply. Well, my milk production was just pathetic! I even rented the Medela Lactina Select from the hospital b/c I didn't think my "Pump in Style" was doing the trick. I never really put them to the breast (only a few times) b/c after bottle feeding each baby for 20 minutes each, I was lucky to get 1.5 hours sleep before the next feeding. Breastfeeding would have taken forever and I didn't need the additional worry of wondering if they were getting enough to eat. I know that a baby will do a better job of increasing milk production, but I just didn't have the energy for two! Have you contacted the La Leche League? My friend's baby was deemed a "lazy sucker" and she pumped for him the whole time. Ironically, she had TOO much milk and stopped because of it. She would pump 14oz in a sitting while I would pump 2oz! Some people are sooo fortunate in that area. Good Luck! I'm sorry that you are stressing over this. I completely understand. It is definitely not what you need right now. Is your husband on your side? If you feel so strongly against visitors (which you should with a preemie), you should be firm and go with your heart. Best Wishes! Amy

Things not looking great again. Yesterday we discovered that 2 of our 3 new Totos arrived broken. I guess it's not that big a deal as they will be replaced, but now we have to wait again for new ones. We had a meeting with the GC on Tuesday night to discuss how things are going. It didn't go well. He says that I am nice to the whole crew, but not to him and that's why he barely comes to the house. He said the whole crew had noticed 'how I treat him' and that in 10 years of business he has never had this problem before. So now I feel uncomfortable in my own home. Now I'm wondering if it's me that's the problem. He called the following day to apologize for how he spoke to me, but I really don't much want to talk to him at all any more. He is asking us to eat a lot of extra expense (including most of the $940 Home Depot bill) because of all the 'extras' he has done including 'thousands' in additional plumbing work for free (?). He says we can go over the contract again but it will end up costing us thousands because he will charge for all the extras he's done. We appear to now be paying for wiring and other items I had no idea would be on the list. I thought he was paying for behind the walls stuff and we were paying for the 'pretty' stuff (including paint, but wiring??). My husband has stepped in to talk to him and yet I don't feel satisfied with that arrangement either. GC was meant to go to Home Depot for $80 worth of unidentified stuff (paid for by us) and when the Home Depot person called for our cc number (which GC no longer has) it was for $175. For 'wiring and boxes'. Huh? The problem is I just don't trust him and I guess the GC feels that and is (understandably) offended by it. But when we ask for receipts he flashes them at us and then says he needs them back. It's like the Hone Depot receipt debacle all over again. But we DO have extra issues that SHOULD be resulting in extra charges - the problem is getting numbers out of him for the extra issues is tough. So our sunroom leak issues and retiling (over the existing) bathroom floor are costing an additional $2400 on top of the $940 which he owed us from the Home Depot thing, but we didn't know that until he's ripped out carpeting and the place is a disgusting mess and we have no choice really but to do the work. I just wish he would tell us what this stuff would cost before starting it! I don't know what to do at this point. I feel like every time we question something he has a million explanations and excuses which never really tell you anything. He talks a mile a minute and you can't get a word in edgewise. I know we should be paying for the unexpected stuff, but the way it happens is so backwards and confusing to me and I end up wondering what is going on. Why for example have we paid $500 for insulation product as part of the contract as well as $814 in insulation as part of that Home Depot bill (that's NOT part of his $940 building materials which was all dry wall) and yet he says the remainder of the insulation in rolls downstairs isn't ours. It's his? He says we have to eat the $500 for insulation that was in the contract because he underbid the installation part of insulating and because we owe him so muc for the extra plumbing (which he hadn't mentioned before and we thought was included). Another example. He ran wiring for the baby's room high hats and ceiling fan. Told me the switch was slightly off center and not to straighten it or it might short. A couple of days later it stopped working. He says it's a coincidence and the wiring must have been 'chewed by rats or squirrels' and that it's an unforeseen issue. this seems like a remarkable coincidence to me. I thought if we contracted that he was installing 4 recessed lights and a fan, that meant they should work? The house has a newer panel with a ton of electric amps, but I guess that doesn't mean no problems. Maybe we're being unreasonable in our expectations. Apparently most people around here tell him to go ahead and fix unforeseen issues and just send them a bill. It's very possible as there's a lot of money around here. But we would like to know what things will cost in advance. He seems to take this as a personal insult. :( DH thinks he's on cocaine. I would not be surprised. I am exhausted and this has turned into a book. Sorry. Just needed to vent again.

Lucy, Sylvia is exactly right..FDHs son is probably embarrassed, and angry if he was disiplined for what he did with the fist raising, but what are your expectations when you marry, FSS has to visit his dad at grandmas ? He will have to come to your home eventually, FDH needs to mend these fences between you and your sons and his son, not run off to grandmas...Also does FDH want Ex at the family functions? Why doesnt he tell her, stopping in is OK, but dont wear out your welcome, this is MY family, not yours... I have stopped at Exs family wakes usually before the home opens, to drop a card and sign the book, that way they know I cared enough to come, but didnt stick around to cause drama...I have had major problems with DH s ex coming to funerals, geez, I thought she d outlast the grieving spouse, as far as her staying power. DH and I just ignore her. But as far as sons needing support, DH was in the hospital, FSDIL asked if I called Ex to come, I was incredulous!!!!DH didnt want her there, but she was more than welcome to sit in the parking lot and give them hugs every half hour or so, if she chose to...Good luck with thse beauties, I feel your pain....