A wonderful thought. On a day that I spent weaving for 8 hrs at a nearby shop I never gave the " rest of the world" a thought. The market managed to go up and down and I never even knew it LOL. I was busy weaving a hanging for my home. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Lucille, well said. c

So true Lucille!

Dh and I are trying to carve more down time into our lives. Yesterday we got to the park for our favorite exercise;)....Aerobie (long distance Frisbee). Then went home and played a game of Scrabble with classical music in the background. Later I lit some candles in the fp and threw a frozen pizza in the oven.

A "small" evening for most, but it felt like a vacation to us.

Now I have to start weaning myself off the news...

dee we got rid of the TV years ago and the newspaper in May. We still have NPR but ....you know we listen and then we look at each other and ...on comes the music. I guess there are those that would say we have our heads in the sand....so be it. I had my head " outta tha' sand" for decades and look at all the good it did ! You and your DH had the right idea.

We just got in from sitting by the pool eating oranges and chocolate and looking at lightning in the distance. c

My parents grew up poor in the Depression, and both my husband & I grew up in undecorated, cramped homes (the money went towards mortgage & food). And my own houses have never been fully furnished because we never had the spare change to do so.

But my sons couldn't care less what the decor looks like, nor did I growing up, nor my husband, and I never heard my parents complain that their family homes weren't pretty. I don't think it matters, really, what a home's interior looks like. The love between the people in it is what makes it warm and welcoming. My husband has so many happy memories of his childhood and how much fun his family was. But by looking at old photos you could tell there wasn't much money for furnishings -- bare floors, chipped paint & worn furniture.

On the other hand, we've lived with ratty carpets, cat-clawed furniture & home-made curtains for years, but DH's careful investments have enabled a new roof when we needed it, a new heater, or windows & siding when the old ones failed. We got 2.5 kids through college with no debt (working on that last .5!). We've been able to buy cars with cash (then drive them until they drop). There are many, many things we have done without. But when it came time for big necessities & crises, DH's investments have helped tremendously.

So no, I have to disagree that it's better to put the money into making a comfortable, beautiful place to live in. If there's real family love & concern, you can be happy in an uncomfortable, ugly home. We were! And that gold investment could translate into more education for your kids or paying health costs your insurance won't cover. A few dollars here and there, if put away, can serve you better & in ways that curtains & pillows can't.

[This post also shows the long arm of the Great Depression in my families. Both my parents & my in-laws, who were affected during that time, taught us about taking care of needs before wants, and DH & I as adults have practiced that advice all our lives. I wonder if we've passed this on to our sons as well?]

Okay, so here's a thought... is this a gender thing? I'm in violent agreement with everything stated above, but my husband insists on watching and listening to all of this stuff that we can't do a thing about anyway.... Girlfriends tell me the same thing about their husbands. I should also mention that he is a natural pessimist and I am a natural optimist. In fact, I often say to him, (with a smile), "Doom and gloom honey, some day you'll be right." -because all the stuff he worries about doesn't ever seem to happen.

Bestyears, in our house DH is the one who would view it as you do: "...stuff that we can't do a thing about anyway."

Lately, when I try to engage him in conversation about such matters (he's really smart & I value his opinions) he brushes me off with "I don't care!" (Because it's stuff we can't do anything about anyway!)

I think sometimes that I need to talk about the economic downturn because that's how I process things, but it's really hard to find people willing to talk about these issues, frankly. Family, friends, sometimes DH, do not want to "go there." I suppose that's healthy since "this is stuff we can't do anything about anyway!"

I do admire that take on it, and it's oh so correct that we have no control over the trajectory of the U.S. or global economy at any given moment, but that doesn't seem to keep me from worrying about it. Or maybe, I'm not worried about it, so much as I am stunned by it.

There was a conversation over on the real estate forum recently during which many posters expressed disbelief that anyone who purchased property between 2004-2007 ( like me) didn't see this coming. They insisted that all who bought then were caught up in the euphoria of the bubble, were guilty of "group think" and refused to see the truth of the inevitable dive in home values around the corner.

I swear to you...I wasn't jumping on any bandwagon when I bought my house. Had no idea the economy would tank (thought it would level off for several years, yes!) I need counseling about this to sort of frame "what is" in a more positive manner. Acceptance of what's in front of us is always preferable to resistance.

I'm interested in exploring this topic and hearing how others view it, process it, deal with.

As far as Lucille's question about home decor... in my view, all in moderation. I agree with Awm03, there are other more practical matters that always need attending to, AND we also need to not be so rigid and frugal that we don't enjoy the less practical things in life too, such as creating beauty around us. Imo, there is a balance that needs to be found.

Stinky-gardener,
Since I am by nature an eternal optimist, I'll share my thought process about your specific situation -maybe it will help... Lots of people bought property between 2004 and 2007. Whether people 'should' have been able to see the downturn coming is irrelevant. Here we are. If you don't need to sell your house anytime soon, I don't honestly believe you have any worries. Look at real estate over the long term. Has any generation EVER paid less for their house than their parents? Of course not, in fact we often find what our parents paid to be incredulous. Over the long-term, real estate has ALWAYS gone up. It goes in waves and cycles over the short term, up-down-up-down-up-down. Your home is your home, not just an investment. So enjoy it, be grateful you HAVE a home, and don't spend any more time thinking about what has already happened, or what may be, or may not be. If you can stay put for awhile, I'm dead sure there will be a time in the future when you will sell your house for more than you paid.

Aww, Bestyears, you brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for taking the time to reply so thoughtfully. I'll keep what you said in mind.

Lucille...sorry for "hi-jacking" your thread for a bit. Chances are good though, that you will be helped by reading Bestyear's comment to me too.

Stinky-gardener

No hijack here, this place is for talking about what is important to us.
Good points have been made about moderation, and of course we should take care of the basics first.
But a cozy home need not cost extravagant amounts of money, and I do believe that in doom and gloom times, and in any times, efforts to turn a house into a home are efforts well spent.

Awww stinky-gardener, thank you for taking my 'advice' just the way I intended. We have just today right? Tomorrow -maybe, maybe not, and yesterday is gone. So do the best you can today, and then let it go. I worried so over middle-school for my oldest, because I'd heard so many stories about the horrible things that can happen then. And it's true, it can be a tough time. But it turned out to be fine for DS. All those hours in the middle of the night just wasted....Of course, all along the way I was doing everything I hoped a good parent would do to try to ensure his future success the way all parents do. That part, *planning* for the future I'm very big on. But this horrible worrying that people do (me included but not very often) is just robbing us of today's moments. My husband worries so.... and so I worry about him, and what this worrying is costing him.

I worry too about the economy and definitely feel the gloom and doom but I have other specific issues that I follow, mainly environmental, health, and farm subsidies, food safety, Marcellus Shale, etc. Sometimes I worry. It has taken me time to learn that rather than let it get to me I can do something, like write letters to my representatives in state, local, and federal governments. It is fairly easy really. There are many watch dog organizations who keep people informed about upcoming legislation. If you subscribe to their news feeds you receive news about what's going on. They also give you links to all levels of political representatives in your area who you can contacted via email with the press of a "Send" button. I believe it's important to communicate our opinions to our elected officials. True, a single letter may not influence them, but hundreds of letters might. It is easier to have direct influence on the local and county level. The barriers to getting involved are low -- there's such a lack of participation and so much apathy that I've been welcomed with open arms into various committees. It's not for everyone but it works for me and instead of just worrying I feel like I'm doing something.

I'm with you Judith.

I have written a quick email on occasion. I probably don't do it enough, but when something really irks me, I let them know.

They may not agree with me, but I least I have felt heard.

Here is a link that might be useful: write your rep

Lucille, thanks for being open to discussion. Yes, a cozy home can surely be created without spending extravagantly! Take cooking for example. Home cooked meals bring so much to life but are far cheaper and more nutritious than eating out. As far as decor goes, things that have the most character and style are often the thrift store & Craig's List finds, not the Horchow purchases!

Bestyears, your husband is married to a wise woman...surely that helps him to worry less! But men feel that provider/protector instinct and they can feel pressure due to that, even during the best economic times.

You are right, worrying takes us out of the present moment and in essence, is time lost. Worrying never helps any situation. Thanks again for the reminder.

Sitting here drinking my morning coffee, and I come across this article in the New York Times saying people are splurging a little bit. Man does not live by vacuum cleaner bags alone.

But, I can do even better, I actually make cheesecake from time to time:)

Here is a link that might be useful: Cheesecake

Interesting trends. A home made cheese cake store just opened up our street in the commercial area. I haven't gone in as I make my own also, if we are going to have it. I see others going in/out so I guess they are good.

This next from the article has me scratching my head :

"Diapers, bleach, shoe polish, car wax and socks are also on a downward trajectory"

What are they putting on those babies ??? If not the disposable , which is what I guess they mean , then they will need the bleach for the old fashioned cloth , LOL. And wearing shoes with no socks is casual so I guess you would leave off the polish too so you have a total shabby chic look :)

Very good thread Lucille ( i love your name) c

Regarding diapers: there is a trend among new moms to 'potty train' infants, beginning from day 1. They literally never wear a diaper. When mom knows it's that time, she holds him over the pot. Is that enough to make a dent in sales? Don't know...

Regarding splurging in a bad economy: I remember reading many years ago, in a business magazine, that part of the genius of Starbucks was that although $3 was an extraordinary price for coffee (I think it was .50 elsewhere then), it was an inexpensive way for people to feel they had 'made it." The article explained that there was at the least, a subconscious thought that "I'm worth it, I'm successful, I've arrived....... if I can buy a latte for $3." It immediately resonated with me, and reminded me of something I had learned in sociology in college. In many areas in Africa, where 99% of the villagers will never rise above extreme poverty, a man and woman's wealth becomes their children, and thus, you see large families even when it is difficult to feed them all, and even when birth control is understood and/or available. When the car, house, etc. can't express your success, the size of your family can I guess. The theory went on to explain why the very poor in this country often spend money on stuff the rest of us scratch our heads at. Gaming systems, expensive shoes, purses, etc. They are never going to have a house to show off, so this is a small way to participate in the game. I always thought this was interesting, and I suppose it is at least somewhat true now.

A large part of the reason for having large families in poor areas of the world was/is also a result of high infant and child mortality from disease.

I don't think diapers will take a huge hit-too many moms work and I would be surprised if nannies or sitters will take the time to do this, especially if there are two or more children to watch! Silly trend, IMHO.

As to the initial question, I would probably choose the gold and try to increase my financial holdings. Old age is too expensive now and I am pretty sure it won't get better any time soon if the present political atmosphere contines. I can make my house comfortable and beautiful to us even if I only cut a few branches for a vase and clean-which I need to do now!

Yes, Cyn, high infant mortality rates and the labor pool children provide explains the quest for large families in many cultures.

Bestyears, yes, children are extra hands in the fields, etc., so their presence really can amount to extra income, even though they represent "overhead" as well, to put it crudely.

Also, in my husband's culture ( His parents are Chinese who fled to Taiwan during the cultural revolution) children are viewed as old-age insurance. My in-laws used to ask me, (since DH & I didn't have children) "Who is going to take care of you when you get old? You should have at least one." So even if you only have one child there is still the idea of child as commodity/income/wealth/insurance.