I didn't grow up with a lot of traditions around holidays, and I felt left-out when my friends would talk about their celebrations. My husband's family was the opposite. BIG celebrations for everything - similar to you lynn. I have enjoyed running with his family traditions, and I know his mom is thrilled that we are carrying things on with our kids in addition to making our own traditions. I've mastered a few of the Armenian family recipes, and have been nominated to be the person to make the dishes for the special holidays. Everyone always says that it is a lot of work, but to me, it is an honor! I love being able to contribute to the traditions.

I grew up in Michigan and every Memorial Day my mom packed a picnic and we headed out to the family cemetery. Every year. We did Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas with my dad's family (mom's family was/is in England). The other holidays were spent with family friends and if weather permitted, it was barbecue all the way.

Now our traditions are different because our families are on 3 continents and in 6 states. We travel every Christmas. We stay home for
Thanksgiving. We volunteer on Thanksgiving Day, but host an orphan's
meal on the following Sat... Our guests are those whose families live elsewhere. We go out to Easter brunch most years with our next door
neighbors. I still drag us to my family cemetery but that's always on a nothing date and we do pack a picnic.

Pretty much, for us some is the same, but some iis different.

Growing up, I had a huge extended family, so the big 3 holidays (Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas) were events. The only other 'holiday' that had a special tradition was St. Patricks Day when we'd have green bagels & lox with Dr. Browns Creme Soda. Don't ask me why.

Birthdays were always a big celebration and the 3 day summer weekends were spent at the lake camping. The 4th always entailed a cook out and then we'd go to my Aunts house to watch the city fireworks display.

After my parents moved to Oregon, I would alternate going to Oregon for one holiday or the other, and they'd come down to California for the other. It wasn't till after I had kids that I moved to Oregon and started my own family traditions.

DH's family was somewhat similar to mine, but they gathered every week for family dinners, as most of them lived with the grandparents or near by, but they didn't really have any special occasions. With my family, you dressed up in your finest attire for each occasion except the summer days.

Now, we just have a little family, us and the kids with my mom & her DH on occasion. MIL joins us at everything. So we don't do too much, except for Christmas dinner, which is MY day. I told them all that they can do what they want for any holiday, but I get Christmas dinner. It works great as both girls' in-laws celebrate on the 24th. I make a big deal of birthdays and I LOVE to decorate for Halloween, been doing more and more every year as we love the trick or treaters. But New Years is just a good excuse to curl up with a good book and go to bed! Summer is relegated to BBQ's at our house whenever anyone feels like it, we don't travel on holiday weekends...too crazy!

We didn't really decorate for any holiday except Christmas when I was growing up. We spent Labor Day, Easter and Thanksgiving away from home so what I mostly remember are the long, long car trips for those holidays.

Our traditions when I was a child were fairly simple and mostly revolved around gathering family (grandparents, aunts, uncles cousins and honorary family) at a table for the meal and not a lot of other fanfare. Foods were specific to the holiday and pretty consistent over the years although my mom did love to try new things. Unfortunately the response more often than not, was to stick with the tried and true - kids can be so mean!!

We didn't make big productions out of many of the holidays that are big events now. Halloween involved carving a pumpkin for/with each child then shoo-ing us out the door to trick or treat in whatever homemade costumes we came up with from the dress-up closet. My parents would never decorate our house and it never felt like anything was missing in our lives. Fourth of July was our village parade (with our decorated bikes) and speeches, then that night the fireworks. Memorial Day was more somber but also a village event. Being Jewish, I loved being invited to decorate trees with friends, but we had 8 nights of Hanukkah and the last night was the big family event with games, the traditional meal and presents. But other than the menorah and candles, no decorations. Passover was a huge production (I understand now how much work it entails), the High Holidays meant new outfits for temple, eating, fasting, lots of family in and out for the various services.

My DH is not Jewish and came from a whole different set of (religious) traditions. Oddly, he didn't like many of them, even as a child and stopped participating as an adult. Of course, I get the blame for that! We forged new traditions with our sons, celebrating Hanumas or Christmakah. We topped our tree with a Jewish star for many years, until I realized no one else cared about the tree but me and when I stopped buying one they all said 'what took you so long?!'

Last year we went to Washington for Thanksgiving. Our older son lives there in a tiny apartment in a national park. Tiny as in you can sit on the foot of the bed and open the refrigerator! Our younger son came from his college in CO, and the 5 of us (including DS1's girlfriend) stood shoulder to shoulder preparing the big meal. Nothing traditional, no turkey no stuffing no mashed potatoes - we had oysters, Dungeness crab, roast brisket..... and Mexican flan for dessert. Close quarters, limited equipment, borrowed dishes, no fancy table settings or decor but we laughed and felt so TOGETHER - it was probably the best Thanksgiving we've ever had!

I love traditions but have come to appreciate the wonder of shaking things up now and then. In the end, though, it's all about the people I share the events with and have found simplifying things allows me to enjoy them much more.

I'm from Tulsa but now live in rural OK. Your dh is right.

We went to a party last Sunday and spend Labor Day just chilling. A lot of Labor Days we do cook out, along with Memorial Day.

But for Halloween, St. Paddy's Day and Valentine's Day? No, because IMO they're not a holiday.

As kids we'd dress up, but that's about it. There were Halloween dances when we moved here but those went by the wayside years ago.

Valentines day is for cards, dinner and flowers.

Oh, I do wear a green rubberband to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.

Why celebrate a day when it's completely over at midnight, unlike Thanksgiving and Christmas when the "Spirit" lasts for a good week after?

Our holidays are influenced by our family traditions. Very important to us to continue celebrating as a family. My sis and I now take turns hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas. Easter is always a family affair. Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day are usually big outdoor events in our area. Many people camp, hit the lakes, that kind of thing. Many people in our area celebrate "Decoration Day" at local cemeteries. It is usually a Sunday in May but not Memorial Day. It was never something our families did.

We always do something for Valentine's - since our anniversary is near that many times we do a long weekend away and celebrate both. In recent years, New Years has become an at home quiet celebration, sometimes with friends, sometimes alone.

St. Paddy's day is not a big deal for us.

tina

Our traditions are mostly our own. My family was into Easter, T'day, and Christmas. Not so much decoration-wise (except Christmas) but in the get together with family and eat food sense. We spent Memorial Day, July 4, and Labor day at our camp. No real celebration. We get together with my family on Christmas day but that's it now. All of the prior generations of my and my sibling's SOs are gone now. And none of us live closer than an hour to each other so we pretty much do our own thing for most holidays. One of my brothers tried to keep a family Easter dinner going but we stopped doing that.

Used to drive my mother nuts if one of us kids was not home for Christmas. Even when my brother wanted his young family to be able to stay at home and create their own traditions rather than drive 5 hours to be with the rest of us. I thought she was pretty unreasonable about that.

Funny story: After my mom declared that she no longer would be hosting Christmas day dinner, that us kids had to take it over, my brother asked her what ONE traditional food she really needed to have on Christmas (he wanted to do something different). "Oh... turkey. And stuffing. And mashed potatoes. And... on and on". Everything that she'd always cooked! Everyone else in the family was bored with the traditional and wanted to have different foods. So we kept making mostly the same ole, same ole with a few new things thrown in (which mom would frown at) until mom died. Now the hosts decide what they want to make and everyone loves the surprise.

Any traditions DH's family might have had didn't make it to his generation. Probably because his brothers and sisters are scattered all over the country.

Our best tradition is having T'day with friends rather than family. We've been doing that for more than thirty years (yipes!). People I know are either jealous or aghast at this. I love getting together with my family on Christmas and other days but T'day has become about friends. The friends we celebrate with feel even more strongly about it because their family gatherings are filled with tensions and feelings of obligation. T'day is our day to celebrate with people we love without any drama. Good food, good wine, good friends. Amen.

What fun and interesting ways to spend your holidays!

AMJ . . . wow, I hope that someday my future DIL is as awesome and family oriented as you are! Your DH's family is lucky to have you.

JMC . . . a fellow Michigander, how wonderful! Do you still live there? Your Thanksgiving sounds like an incredibly meaningful way to give thanks and celebrate the day. How special!

Pesky . . . we still LOVE our "green bagels" and have them almost every Saturday morning! Ours nowadays are the new thin ones that we top with mashed avocado, chopped tomatoes and then the lox . . . mmmmmm. But your Dr. Brown's Cream Soda with bagels & lox makes me chuckle . . what fun!

Forhgtv . . . those long car trips could be so boring when we were kids, couldn't they? I'm so glad that we had a vcr in our car, and then a dvd player ~ and headphones!!! ~ when my own kids were young. All I had was a book and a lot of whiney younger siblings ;^D

DLM: I know what you mean about kids putting a damper on us trying new foods on them. Perhaps that's the real reason why our holidays have many of the same foods every year (LOL). I love the inventiveness of your "Hanumas or Christmakah" to marry your families holidays! Hearing about your Thanksgiving feast last year made me smile. It really IS most about being with the people we love, isn't it?

Oakley, I can tell that you are REALLY into St. Paddy's Day wearing that green rubberband (LOL)! I hope you didn't take any offense when I described how DH and his neighboring Oklahomans celebrated some of their holidays. I have nothing but admiration for the people there. Oklahomans, in my experience, are the nicest people I've ever met. I love your state and try to visit it often, especially beautiful Norman.

Tina, your holidays sound much like mine. I know what you mean about New Years. More and more I'm appreciating the peacefulness (and safety from drunk drivers) of celebrating quietly at home.

Rosesstink, it's funny how holiday traditions evolve, isn't it? The story about your mom made me chuckle, but reminded me too, not to make my own family traditions something my kids will look on as an albatross around their necks, but rather as something they feel free to choose bits and pieces of if they want. Thank you :~)
Lynn

My own mother, bless her cotton socks, was severely challenged in this area and so anything I do or did, I feel like Martha Stewart. I'm always so glad that my husband and I decided early in our marriage to make up our own traditions. So we eat Christmas morning french toast in robes and slippers (his family wanted everyone dressed at the table), have Thanksgiving dinner in the middle of the afternoon (both families of origin sit down at 12 noon on the dot)and let the kids eat as much Halloween candy as they want right after they got home.

That sounds really like the ideal way to do it, Ideefixe . . . do what makes you and your own family happy. We love eating holiday breakfasts in our pjs, too.
Being the daughter of a banker, I remember how my father wanted all meals to happen precisely on the dot. Now that he's retired, he still does! Thankfully, I'm a lot more laid back about things like that.
Lynn