Mothering and good-byes and tears and holidays

17 years ago

My "baby" (21 years old) just walked out the door to take a flight back to college (1,000 miles away). She was with us for two weeks and I miss her so much it's ridiculous. She graduates from college in June and has already made plans to work in Missouri (also, 1,000 miles away).

My kids all live far from home these days and have their own busy lives. I miss them so very much but it seems like it's worse when they're around for several days and we laugh and carry on and then they go away.

Tell me I'm not the only one choking back the tears as I say good-bye to my children.

Rose

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Comments (18)

pattico_gw
17 years ago
Rose...I've only had one leave like that...She and her family were gone 8 years then moved back to this area.

I completely understand...I was a mess everytime they came home and left again.

They talk about moving when the last one graduates from high school...I'm so hoping they don't

My other two live here in town.

Hugs..

patti
donna_oh
17 years ago
Oh boy, tell me about it! My son is due in anytime from MI & I'm dreading when he leaves all ready! LOL But, the hard one will be tonite as were having a good-bye party for my GS, Chris who is leaving for OK then Iraq--Won't see him for 1 1/2 yrs!

HATE__HATE goodbyes!

Donna (^_^)
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sueque67
17 years ago
I know how you feel. My oldest son who is also 21 will either leave today or tomorrow.
When my DH and I moved last month my son decided to stay behind because of college. He came up to stay with us for New Years and this week has flown by.
We are only 5 hours away but it's not like we can just zip down to see him when ever we want.
I guess it doesn't matter how old your children are, they will always be your babies.
Susan
grammahony
17 years ago
I used to cry every time my mom and dad left to go back to Texas. They'd moved there in the late 70's or early 80's after dad retired. Then when dad got sick in 1996, they moved back.
My #2 DD has lived in California for 25 years. She moved there at the age of 19 or 20 with her husband. (they've since divorced, and she's been married to David for 15 years). I used to tear up when she'd leave, but they do come back at least twice a year, so I do get to see them. I'm happy for her, and I can relax, knowing she's happy and content there. Then mom and I'll fly out there, usually once a year. I think we'll drive next time.
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nodakgal
17 years ago
You're NOT alone!
My DD lives 120 miles away so its much closer than 1000. But when Drew and her left the Saturday after Christmas I was blinking back tears too. DH looked at me and said this part of Christmas sucks. LOL
Its SO wonderful to have the house alive with them while they are here. You know what I mean by alive? Phones ringing, tv's on and noise and chaos! LOL
Hang in there Rose.
declansmom
17 years ago
Oh Rose....I know exactly what you mean. My DS #1 lives on the West Coast, we are on the East Coast. He and his girlfriend were supposed to be here for Christmas, but their flight got cancelled. Normally that would not be too bad, but I have been having a tough time lately (with many things) and he was the bright ray of sunshine that I was so looking forward to. He will be coming on the 18th of this month, and I know the time will fly and I will be crying once again when he leaves. The ONLY thing that keeps me from being an utter mess, is that I know he is so happy where he is. Hang in there!
User
17 years ago
One thing I was told when I was 13 years old and moving to BC with my family: NEVER say goodbye. Say, "See you later". Goodbye is permanent. With the internet and webcams now, watching your children get on that airplane is a lot easier. Also, I have a good long distance plan. 4Â¢ a minute. My daughters plan is better: free! She usually calls me. Webcams are great because you can see each other. It's not the same as being in the same room, but it makes it easier.
Pieonear
17 years ago
Two of mine live 5 hours away. I see them every month or so, but still I tear up everytime they leave. Fortunately my oldest lives within 5 miles of me, so that helps.
irishdancersgram
17 years ago
4 out of my 5 live within 5-10 minutes from me, but the youngest lives 8 hours away...Because of his busy schedule, he only gets back home, once a year and boy when he leaves, it's terrible...But like someone said, with computers, cell phones, etc., it makes them closer....
chisue
17 years ago
Hey! Near or far, visiting weekly or once a year...when I stand at the door and wave goodbye to my DS I choke up. It's LOVE, ladies. Just love. Oh, and maybe memories.

I'm proud and happy that he is married, happy, a Daddy himself. I wouldn't want him living 'at home' again, but I do miss *my little boy*.
vannie
17 years ago
Oh, do I ever know what you mean. My youngest child left for college 13 years ago and I haven't gotten over it yet. She married and I knew she'd never come back to Tyler. She's 125 miles away, so it's not so bad, but my other children are here (oldest daughter is next door.) and it's easy to see them. My second grandaughter may go to Pepperdine next year and that will be too far away. That's going to be hard. Thank goodness for e-mails and texting, not to mention phone calls. Yes, it's a case of love.
debnfla8b
17 years ago
I know exactly how you feel.

My baby..22 year old Jessica graduated from college last June. She was at a college 3 hours away...I could jump in the car, drive over to Pensacola and have lunch with her whenever I wanted.
So...she decided to go to grad school...get her Ph.d in Bio-Chemistry...in Arizona!! That is 3 days away....driving 10-12 hours a day depending if you have a lead foot or not. She packed her little car to the rim and drove all the way to Arizona...scared the life out of me!
But we talk several times a day...send emails back and forth. She just flew home for a week this past Christmas...I was in heaven having her home again. I cried buckets at the airport when we had to take her there to catch her plane. I did wait until she had got on board before I broke down squalling like a fool in front of God and everyone!!! LOL

So, I do know how much you miss her! I miss Jessica every single minute but I also know she is excelling in what she is doing and it makes her happy.

Deb
matti5
17 years ago
Oh Rose, I am with you!!! Right now my son is packing his things up and will be heading back to college in a few hours. It's been so nice having him home for 2 weeks. He graduates soon and my fingers are crossed that he gets a job in the area.

I'm baking his favorite cookies to send back with him, I don't normally cry while baking, but I am now.
lindaohnowga
17 years ago
I understand. Our one and only daughter lives 12 hours away and we get to see her once a year when they come to us. It breaks my heart seeing them leave, knowing it will be a whole year until I have her in my arms again. Thank goodness for our unlimited long distance calling. We can talk daily or several times a day.
des_arc_ya_ya
17 years ago
My DS lives within 20 minutes of us so I'm okay with him. One DD lives 100 miles away but we see each other every month, or so and talk on the phone pretty often. Our other DD (Twinkie's DD, my SDD) lives 500 miles away and it's always awful on him when we leave from down there or she leaves our house. He's a little better than he used to be because she's in a better financial state than what she used to be and seems happier but it's still hard.
angela59
17 years ago
I'm embarrassed to admit that my daughter goes to college in the same town we live in and I still cry when she goes back! She lives on campus and it's often weeks in between visits.....I talk or text to her more frequently though.......I know some of it has to do with the fact that her little sister died and I was an empty nester too soon......
matti5
17 years ago
Angela, my oldest son attended college nearby, but lived on campus. I saw him every few weeks. Please don't feel embarrassed, it's got nothing to do with distance, it's about the letting go and missing them. They grow up so darn fast. I initially had a horrible time being an empty nester, I felt like my mom job was over and I was totally lost. I'm doing much better now though.

I am so sorry that you lost your daughter.
socks
17 years ago
Getting ready to choke back the tears in about an hour.

I'm sending you a hug, Angela.

Mothering and good-byes and tears and holidays

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