I used to wake up at 3 am a lot and have the same problem. What worked for me is a TV with a sleep timer. I'd put on something without sirens...preferably a science or nature program with lots of narration. It was just enough to distract my mind and allow me to go back to sleep...like having someone read you a bedtime story. TV would shut itself off after I fell asleep so it didn't disturb my sleep the rest of the night. In fact, that's still how I go to sleep at night.

If you don't want to disturb a bedmate, they make pillow speakers...flat disks that you slip under your pillow so you can hear the TV through your pillow, but no one else will.

If I'm really bothered about something, I'll write it out journal fashion with no filters. I just spew out all of the negative feelings in my writing. When I'm finished, I close the journal and put it away, then go to sleep with my mind cleared.

Others I know have mastered meditation and deep-breathing techniques to clear their mind and others use prayer. You may have to try a few things to see what works best for you.

If you are unable to get past the feelings, you may have an imbalance in your brain chemistry and need prescription medication. A good night's sleep is one of the most important components of good health. Don't let your sleeplessness go very long without fixing the problem.

I used to have the same problem and it was school stress-related-once awake, started worrying about certain kiddoes, etc. Once out of the situation, you will probably not have the problem, but a short term approach might be to be sure you stop drinking anything at least an hour before bedtime. Sounds silly, but if you don't wake up to go to the bathroom, you may just start sleeping through until morning.

I hope this subsides for you. You may also want to try meditation. That can help, too, for both waking and sleeping worries.

Joanie, I have never had job related stress but did have stress for a medical concern last year.

I'm like you in that I think and analyze things over and over and over again! But, here's how I got through last year. First I gave myself permission to use sleep as an escape. I promised myself I would give myself a break.

I also came to the realization that what was happening to me was not my fault in any way. There was nothing I did to cause what was happening.

It sounds to me that after all these years, you are just at your breaking point.
Would you consider therapy? Having a professional help you connect the dots can be very useful.

Keep us posted. I agree that once you are gone, you won't be as bothered.

I am sorry that you are having issues at work. There may also be a hormonal component to your sleep issue. MANY of my friends complain about the 3am wake up and not being able to go back to sleep.

I don't have a specific issue going on in my life but when I snap awake at 3am, I will gnaw on the worry of the week. DH's job, kid's schoolwork, etc. I keep a kindle and a flashlight beside my bed and will start reading when I realize I am not going back to sleep.The reading seems to reset my brain and even if I don't go right back to sleep, I am more relaxed. I decided I'd rather spend my 3am awake time instead of tossing and turning.

I used to have horrible job-related stress in the middle of the night. Actually I had it all the time but during the night it was worse since your sanity seems to depart when the sun goes down. I kept a transistor radio (old school, I know) by my bed and turned on NPR during the night. Many was the morning I woke up with the radio still going! It just helps to have something else to fill your brain. I also had an MP3 player with downloaded podcasts. The only problem with that was the earbuds. I toss a lot when I'm in bed and the earbuds popped out.

Why not lie there and figure out a way to get revenge when you leave, like changing the password on your computer and not telling anyone. Heh heh. Maybe put glue in the staplers. Delete all the important files. You really shouldn't do these things but its fun to think about.

This came up on my FB page yesterday. Perfect.

A long time ago I learned that while it is often difficult to empty the mind of stressful thoughts, it can be easier to replace those stressful thoughts with benign ones.

The trick is to be prepared. During the day, come up with several scenarios that neither bother you nor bring you acute pleasure. Something repetitious is perfect. (I guess this is the theory behind counting sheep.) For instance, vacuuming stairs or washing dishes would work (unless you hate vacuuming stairs or washing dishes). Or a task related to a hobby. For me that might be dyeing wool for rug hooking.

Once you have these in mind, you can switch over to them when you start thinking those stressful thoughts. It might take a little practice, and you'll likely have to do it more than once, especially at first, but this technique can be very useful, even in situations not involving sleep.

I also have this problem. As I get more stressed the same pattern recurs: I start waking up progressively earlier, the monkey mind starts chattering and my night's sleep is ovah. So I will find myself up for the day at 6 am...5:30 am...5 am...4:30 am. Terribly difficult to get through a busy and hectic day when exhausted!

I have found something that has worked miraculously well for me. It's a simple meditation practice of concentrating on one's breathing to relax. I force myself to think only about breathing calmly and normally-no special counting or visualization, just in/out, in/out, in/out. The trick is not to allow my mind to 'engage' because once the thoughts start to rev up, I'm doomed. Again, the key is DO NOT LET YOUR MIND START THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING. Nothing, only breathing in and out. If I find thoughts crowding my mind I come back to the breathing.

It works too; like flipping a switch for me. I'll be diligently concentrating on my breathing, wide awake and the next thing I know, it's my normal wake up time and I have made it through the night and early am dangerous period.

Good luck, I really sympathize and empathize with this one!

And a question for anyone who suffered with this problem connected with a stressful work situation, and then retired: does that cure it? Or is this just something that is hardwired into one's personality? I keep thinking like you Joanie, that once I'm retired and don't have the aggravation of a job my sleep will be blissful. But...will it?!?!

Ann

I second Annie's TV on a timer method. I lived through a few years of extreme stress using it. I don't have tv anymore, but when I did, that's exactly what I'd do - turn it on, find something mindless to watch, set the timer to 30 min and my brain couldn't engage so I'd fall right asleep. Just don't us the tv method if you don't have a timer....sleeping with the tv on all night is really disturbing to your sleep rhythms.

Thanks all! Another totally sleepless night so I stayed home today. I took two little cat naps this morning but now I am trying to stay busy. It does help if I take 3 Advil before bedtime but I know I can't do that every night.

I will try all these methods. Have to figure out if the tv has a timer...then just be careful not to get interested in a movie I want to finish!

Dedtired....I plot revenge all the time!

I use Stitcher radio app on my iPhone and set it up to play news and other talking programs. It's interesting enough that I listen to it, fall back asleep and don't start thinking about other stuff that would keep me awake. It's similar to the TV concept but you can pick what you want to listen to.

I find it sad that we have to do this! I too listen to something. I have an Ipad so I put on a show from Netflix or amazon prime usually. Sometimes I pick a youtube video about a topic I have been meaning to watch.

the annoying thing is I have to listen to the program so many times to get the whole thing, but most of the time within about 5-10 minutes I fall back to sleep.

I find TV to be more irritating than my daily problems, and so I switched to reading in bed. Sometimes I read anthropology books, but lately I have been reading some Hollywood biography books, and they are good at distracting me and helping me sleep. I like the Chelsea Handler books - they are pretty mindless.

Watching TV keeps me awake, and I have to mute all commercials and change the channels when someone says something moronic, which seems to be happening more and more. It especially irritates me when the History channel (or some other pseudo-science channel) gives incorrect information.

Lars

After I retired, I did still continue to stress about things that happened around and during my retirement and some choices I made. Took me awhile to get over it, but I did. Now I have no real stress in my life...which is good and bad. When something somewhat stressful happens, I seem to go into stress overdrive... Y'know how if you don't eat salt for a few weeks, it only takes a little bit of salt to taste really salty? Well it's like that...my stress levels have reset and re-sensitized and now a little bit of stress feels very stressful. Go figure. I still catch myself gritting my teeth sometimes. I find meditation is very helpful.

Re sleeping, try not to drink any alcohol as it can cause an early wakeup after a short sleep. I also found when I cut carbs and ate more veggies, I slept better and had fewer early wake-ups. Exercise seems to help too.

First, I'd check with your doctor to see if there is any way to reduce or eliminate the frequent bathroom trips during the night. That can't be helping.

Then google "sleep maintenance insomnia," which sounds exactly like what you are dealing with.

I was having the same problems, stress waking me up in the middle of the night and then not being able to get back to sleep.

Things that have helped me:

Putting a dim nightlight in the bathroom so that if I have to get up, I don't have to turn on bright lights. That lets me not completely wake up in the middle of the night.

Reducing the amount of light in the bedroom. I've ended up covering up my clock radio display at night--it is unbelievable how much darker the room is. I also cover up the display on my little sound system in the bookcase. I installed black-out roller blinds. And I no longer leave the hall light on at night.

If I'm not sleeping, I try to stay out of the bedroom. I still do some things in there--folding laundry, ironing, polishing my nails. But instead of curling up in the chair there to read, I've moved to the living room. No snacks--I eat in the dining room. The point is to keep the room as much as possible just for sleeping, so that when you are in the room, you are ready for sleep.

No "screens" for an hour before bed. Most nights, it's two hours before bed. Helps a huge amount.

I'm sorry you dealing with both work troubles and sleep troubles. I hope you can get a good night's sleep soon.

A Boston dr. told me to take this supplement to ease anxiety and to help sleep patterns. I, too, had a similar problem. I got the Kavinace and took one each night and had the most marvelous sleep and since only take one when I feel tense. They're benign with little to no side effects.

Here is a link that might be useful: Kavinace

Everyone deals with stress in a different way. You have sleeping issues while other eat, drink alcohol or yell at their spouse. I think both exercise and mediation go a long way in relieving stress. It places YOU back in control and gives you tools to calm yourself down both day and night. I recently read a book by Dan Harris (the ABC news journalist) about his journey into mediation. His story is different from yours, but there are some common threads of stress and shutting down the reoccurring thoughts in his head. Take care of yourself and try everything you can to relieve yourself of these negative feelings.