(((Kathy))) I am sorry to hear about your Mom. You are both in my thoughts.

It is hard watching a loved one suffer especially when it is a parent who has always been the strong one, the one who took care of our hurts. It's not easy to know what to do when the roles are reversed and we have to watch them suffer. My Mom's cancer was already too advanced to do anything and with advanced Alzheimer's on top of it there was nothing to do but bring her home from the hospital and to make every day a happy day despite how hard it was and to walk in her room with a smile on my face and a song in my voice.

I dealt with it by not looking ahead and only living day by day and getting through that day and hoping for the best the next day. I don't know how I would have gotten through it without the support I received from my friends here at the KT, the Cooking Forum and the Care Giver forum. When I wanted to vent this is where I came or when I needed advice on my Mom's special needs. No matter the time of day or night someone was always here to help me get through a crisis.

Nothing though will take away the heartbreak you are feeling. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. You will cry, you will get angry, and the day will come when your Mom is pain free and you wonder how you both made it through. I hope your Mom gets the treatment she needs to get well and to relieve her pain.

Hugs

Anne

Prayers going out for your Mom and you Kathy.

Thinking of you and your Mom Kathy and prayers too.

Sue

How awful for you. I pray your mom's physical pain lessens and your emotional pain also.

Saying prayers. As with anything, the Grace of God gets you through.

Hugs and prayers for you both.

Kathy I too know how hard it is to watch a parent decline, especially in pain. I am sorry you both have to go through this. Don't let yourself stop feeling - I did that with my Dad and it ripped me apart inside for a couple of years. I love the 'Let go and let God' approach. He knows what is best although I don't always understand. You are allowed to take care of yourself at this time - please do. You are allowed to cry, get angry, want a hug.

Kathy keep talking to us - we are here for you. I don't know what to say except I am sorry this is happening.

My prayers are on their way.

Peggy

Kathy, you and mom are in my prayers. I guess this is why those pesky nurses at the hospital awaken the patients every few hours, and you may have to that as well. As hard and heartless as it sounds it really would be in her best interest to keep her pain meds at a consistent level.

Kathy, prayers & hugs for you & your mom!

Donna (^_^)

No words of wisdom, just want you to know you and your mom are in my prayers. (((Kathy and Mom)))

You have my prayers and good thoughts, Kathy. It's truly difficult to watch them wither away.

Sending Prayers for you and your Mom! I have no words of wisdom either, but I agree to try not to look too far ahead. The here and now are all we're promised anyway! If you look ahead, the fear and uncertainty will choke you. You can do the here and now!! (((((Kathy and Mom)))))

Sending prayers for your mother, and for you. Keep us posted. Hugs!

Kathy, I know how hard this is for you. All I can tell you is one day at a time.There are no easy answers.A lot of us here know your pain and we have a shoulder for you to lean on. You and your Mom are in my prayers.

Kathy, I'm so sorry for what your Mom and you are going through.
I thought Cherryfiz said it so eloquently, the roles are reversed and that makes it do difficult. My prayers are going out for the Dr's being able to find a way to control her pain.
Please deep us posted and if you just need to get things off your chest, we are here for you. (((((Kathy & Mom)))))

((Kathy)) We're here for you, to talk and vent.

Kathy, Sending special thoughts for your mom and you. Warm hugs too.

kathy, can they do a pain patch? it lasts longer and while she may be sleepier, it sure helps! we also started to see a pain management dr...but with other delays we never quite got there...

if she's at home, prehaps a hospital bed? lucky for us we had purchase one of the "taller" mattress. so mother could roll out of bed, rather rhan trying to shift and push up...osteoperosis, then later we found "mystery" cancer?

i'm so very soory cause i know she's in aweful pain everytime they do the radiation..why they can't have a padded table i'll never know it was bad enough laying there for my 5 minute sessions after my lumptomey, with my arms up in the air, sigh...

Add me to those that will be praying for you and your mom.

Is there a support group at the cancer clinic. We have at least one at ours where everyone helps out. Medical staff, caregivers, friends etc. There is always someone to contact for help and suport. Also our church is very suportive as is our small town. Just sending good thoughts for your family and medical staff.
Marie

I'm sure sorry to hear this.

Kathy, your Mom and you are in my prayers.

Do talk to your mother's doctor about better pain control. I used to work in a hospital managing an oncology support program and spent lots of time with different professionals. Over and over again they talked about pain control, staying on a regular schedule so you are always ahead of the pain, etc. That was many years ago though and there are new options available now but there are still lots of docs who are not comfortable and/or knowledgeable about effective pain control. Please press your health care providers to address this - the problem you described does not have to occur.

I feel for you, Kathy.

How hard it is to see others, especially loved ones, suffer ... and not be able to do anything to fix it.

Sending good thoughts ... and hopes that things may improve, that you may find ways to reduce the pain and bring as much healing as may be possible.

Plus some prayers for each of you, and the others who are hurting.

(((((Kathy, Mom and family)))))

ole joyful

((((Kathy))) and for your mom as well!

I got through it by crying, a lot. Honestly, Kathy, it's like grieving ahead of time. It is such a difficult time, and she is so lucky to have a loving daughter to help her.

About the pain, I hope you can find some pain relief that will not put her on this roller coaster. When pain meds wear off, it's a slow and difficult process to get that relief up to speed again (I don't need to tell you this!).

Thinking of you....Susan

Sending hugs and good thoughts and prayers that you and she will have better days ahead. Keep strong and rested so you can face the future. Nanny

Thanks, you all made me cry - but it was a good cry.

Mom does have a pain patch she wears from 5 pm to 5 am. I don't think it lasts that long though.
Waking her up is certainly an option!

Laurel, I know you are going through this too and you are in my prayers.

Anne I remember when you were going through this with your mom. Bless you for being there for her.

Mom had a pretty good day today and so did I. She is getting bored at home and looks forward to traveling to her treatments tomorrow.

I thank every one of you from the bottom of my heart. Will look into all the things you suggested.

Kathy

So sorry, Kathy, for what your Mom (and you) are going through. Hoping she can get some better pain meds. A fentanyl pain patch is a great idea,then it would deliver the medication in a steady state. You should inquire about that.

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom.

My mother died very slowly from brain cancer, and it was horrible to watch. I can't tell you how I got through it because I don't know, but it took every ounce of strength and then some.

Hugs to you both.

((((hugs))))

Perhaps you can ask the doctors about something for "breakthrough pain". This can help when she is feeling pain, but it is not time for her next dosage of the stronger medications. You can also ask if her dosages can be given more frequently as they tend to wear off sooner than the next dose.

Once again, deepest hugs!

I too am so very sorry I will be praying for both of you.

Kathy, I will continue my prayers for you both.

Tami