I think that by deciding this is something that you want to do you have made the first step. Maybe just putting your hand in an aquarium with some fish might be a good first step to getting used to them.

I know that my biggest phobia with scuba diving would be to have all that equipment on me - feeling like I couldn't escape it.

Thanks, terriks. I too feel like the first step towards overcoming the fear is the willingness to face up to it and want to move past it. I've just told DH that I want to visit a new aquarium in a nearby city next weekend. Baby steps ... except I feel like I need to do a quick succession of baby steps in order to be ready to dive with the fishes in late July! I'm going to be repeating a lot of affirmations to myself over the next few weeks, such as:

-I am releasing my fear of fish
-Water comforts me
-I am safe
-I am so relaxed
-My breathing is even and steady
-I am in control of my emotions
-Fish will not affect me
-I let go of any tension
-I embrace positive energy

Were you able to overcome your diving/equipment phobia so that you enjoyed diving? I found the equipment to be so cool, since it's so technical and advanced. DH and I were chuckling over those big diving bells folks used to wear!

I agree that the first BIG step is to say you want to be rid of this phobia! Too many people seem to hug their phobias to them like a much loved pet.

I had a fear of flying at one time...and I'm married to a professional pilot. UGH, I just couldn't live with that.

I decided that a fear of flying wasn't going to stop me from traveling. I also decided my children would never know how hard it was (in the beginning) to fly.

Then I read all I could about flying...about Linbergh and the Wright brothers...the women of WWII who flew. That helped a lot. About that time DH began flying big planes (727s). I got on a plane every time I could. At first, I took a Xanax to help me through the stress. I don't know if you can do that kind of thing and dive, but you might discuss with a doctor.

Because DH was flying 727s, I also became familar with all the emergency 'red-box' items in his training manuals. It got to where I knew exactly what should be done if a plane has decompression issues or...whatever. All dh's training made me realize how well trained and serious most pilots are. They don't want to die, either. :0) If I were you, I'd learn about all the fish and flora you might see on your dive trips.

I listened to the soundtrack to Top Gun while taking off. You can't do that these days, but I would listen as long as I could before turning off my electronic device. Pump yourself up with some brave music...the soundtrack to the Little Mermaid, perhaps. (wink, wink) I could see you humming "Under the Sea" while you gear up.

Do it. Get in the water and stay two minutes. Get in the water and give yourself a task...count all the yellow fish or how many types of coral can you identify? You could make a list like bird watchers do of all the critters you id.

I also figured out that I was a little afraid of enclosed spaces and the biggie...loss of control. After all, I wasn't driving that plane. (Good thing, too!)

These days I step on an airplane often. Yes, I still have a twinge or two--but I tell myself it's just my silly fears trying to control me. I recite all the good data on how safe it is to fly, etc. I bring a special art project I can do in my seat to occupy me....and a good book.

You can do this! I also have a fear of heights. Because of that, I go rappelling every summer...just to prove to myself I can. It's tough, but I'm tougher.

ENJOY your dives! I want to see photos!

The aquarium might be a good idea ... in the real world you would almost never see as many fish and types that are packed into one of those large tanks. So don't assume you would be scuba diving with so many fish surrounding you!! On some dives you hardly see much and on others you might see more than you thought you would.

At the aquarium they usually have a see-and-touch section, mostly for kids. Go to one of the assistants and ask for help ... stroke/hold the starfish and sea cucumbers. Maybe they would let you hand feed some of their fish? Send an email before your visit asking for help with this ... they might surprise you and want to help with your fear.

I grew up in NYC, and when my husband and I moved to the country a few years into our marriage I had to deal with a lifelong terror of insects and spiders. I overcame it by learning as much as I could about them--starting with Annie Dillard's Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. The more I learned about insects, the more fascinated I became--and the less fearful. Same thing with spiders. And same thing with bats, actually. The first time one flew into my bedroom at night, I was a wreck. But after learning that bats miscarried easily and nursed their babies (like me), I lost a lot of my fear. I still preferred them outdoors, though, or in the barn. :-)

I hope my experience can somehow be translated to helping you with your fish phobia.

At the aquarium they usually have a see-and-touch section, mostly for kids.

That sounds like it would be perfect for a first step.

I haven't actually signed up for the diving classes yet. I think that's is something that I should at least try, though. Since we are empty nesters, I keep trying to find more things for my DH and I to do together. I know that he likes snorkeling, and maybe he would like diving too. I just love swimming in the ocean, but I like staying on top of the water!

Sunny I used to be terrified of spiders growing up. We lived in a wooded area and in winter we used to get huge wolf spiders in the house, and you never knew where they would appear, sometimes in my bedroom, in the toilet gah, I lived in spider panic my whole childhood and my parents used to feel like I should toughen up and just ignore them (gah! like that was helpful, not!)

But I think the more you learn about the source of your phobia the better because phobias are always about irrational thoughts about them. Nowadays I actually really like spiders and find them fascinating because the majority are very benevolent little creatures and not poisonous and they don't behave in a way that I had conjured up in my mind where they are out to get me. Once I learned more about them and starting watching them, i saw them very differently.

I think your fascination with underwater life is something you can cultivate by learning about fish, learning to identify different species and knowing a little bit about the different types will help you understand them better when you come across them so you will be able to look at their behaviour more realistically instead of it feeling threatening or uncomfortable. As kids I think we overreact to things just because we don't understand what is going on, but really, learn about them and I'm sure you will end up seeing some really fascinating things when watching fish, and then that's what I'd do, go watch some, see how they behave and how it compares to what you read about them etc. look at their colours and shape and discover what these creatures are really all about.

I am terrified of bats. There's no good reason to not be, lol. I am not thrilled with birds either. However, DH never ceases to throw pieces of bread all around my beach chair. Yes, he's a gem. Not the way to deal with a fear/phobia!

The water thing isn't a problem for me, until you add in the fish. I love my pool, but not the Mid-Atlantic coastal waters since I am not lovin the fish. I have no desire to dive. Grew up with a pool, and spent the day and a good part of last evening just relaxing in our pool.

What I don't understand is if you don't like fish, why do you want to dive? For me, I would forego the diving thing. I've not done the swim with the dolphin thing, and am a mess when I have the opportunity to go fishing.

I do like to go sport fishing, but I can't live bait my hook, and if I hook one, I love the thrill of bringing in the fish. However, that's as far as that goes, I can't release the fish. Yes, I am a real joy to have out for a relaxing day of fishing. The way I deal with the fear of having live fish in the boat is by wearing my wellies whilst out on the boat. No chance of the fish touching my skin. I don't like the way they flip around when out of the water.

Any event, if you really want to do it, I think it is more of a mind over matter thing. At least that is how I deal with things I want to do, but hold a certain amount of fear doing. Takes time to learn to rationalize the fear and let it go, ignoring the triggers of fear.

Best of luck on the diving! I know lots of friends who dive and love it. I am okay in my chlorinated in-ground pool sans the fishes.

Google cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure therapy. It's the therapy equivalent of baby steps. You practice relaxation techniques while you gradually expose yourself to your fear. When you feel comfortable you gradually increase your exposure. For example, in your case, you might buy a goldfish and work on putting your hand in the water.

Good luck, it sounds like you are well on your way to overcoming your fish phobia.

Wow - Thanks so very much for the encouraging, helpful responses. I appreciate what each of you has shared, and am feeling bolstered by the general consensus which seems to be that if I want to overcome this badly enough, I can.

Trancegemini, your words particularly resonate with me. I have been thinking about this in great detail over the past few days, and I can pinpoint exactly where/when my fish phobia began. There were a series of fish-related events that realy freaked me out as a child, but the thing that put me off the most was when I was perhaps 5 or 6 years old, I was in the pet section of a large department store. I always loved going to see the animals there (we even had a fish tank at home and I remember that my nightly child's prayers included a request that my fish be "watched over from above"). I remember there was a table containing a jumble of sale items, and as my head was just about the same height as the top of the table, I was running my little hand along and skimming over the items on the table. Suddenly, I touched something that felt very strange - lifted it up, and to my absolute horror, it was a dead fish. Just a small one, but it had been there awhile, and had a rather dried out, brittle consistency to it. Come to think of it, that may have been the very first time I was ever face-to-face with death.

I have gotten much better about handling the knee-jerk fear response. A few years back, if I was looking at a magazine and turned the page to a photo of a fish, I would panic. Once I even threw the magazine across the room - just had to get that image as far away from me as possible in a hurry. It's that initial panicked flight response that I know I'll need to overcome first. I can't say it's not still with me. I'm wondering how it will feel to be diving and suddenly a fish is right there. How will I respond? Will I be able to cope calmly and rationally - or will the overwhelming feeling of I have to get out of here RIGHT NOW take control?

For quite some time, I've had a recurring dream where fish fly through the air. I've never failed to be tremendously spooked by that dream, but last night I actually willed it to come to me. Of course, it didn't. It has occurred to me though, that when I'm diving in their element, in a sense that dream is going to be made real.

As to why I want to dive, given my phobia, there are several different reasons, but chiefly among them is the fact that I simply long to overcome an unreasonable fear. I don't want what happened to me as a child to color the rest of my days. DH and I vacation in some lovely seaside areas - our favorite place being in Caribbean waters which are so incredibly beautiful and clear. We watch the divers go out and they just always look like they're setting out to do something very cool. I want to experience that for myself. I long to do so completely liberated by the fears that have held me back for well over 40 years now.

I'll definitely read up on cognitive behavioral and exposure therapy. I can't say I'm at the point where I want to reach into a tank where fish are swimming. But on the other hand, I do want to be able to do so without trepidation.

I can't really add any advice, but my experience with snorkelling showed me that the fish got close enough to view, but not close enough to touch.

My DH has a phobia of swimming in the ocean-he's fine in rivers or lakes, just the ocean. He is convinced there are shark there. When we were in Hawaii, it took him almost 5 days before he'd get in the water, but first we went to the aquarium and that seemed to help him. When he finally went snorkeling he was a bit apprehensive, but once he got going, I couldn't get him back out of the water.

Best of luck to you!

Jen, why do you think having a phobia with underwater life is unreasonable and unfounded? No different than having a phobia with spiders, bats and snakes. And yellow jackets. :)

There's a reason people have these phobias, and I'm one of them. Those things hurt us, and so do some of the underwater fishies.

Although I did a lot of fishing, I hated touching them after I caught one. Especially when I was in the water after skiing waiting for the boat to come get me. It's known that catfish can cut you, so I kept making a big splash!

Maybe if you realized your phobia IS reasonable, it will be easier to get over it?

It took me almost 30 years, but I finally got rid of my phobia with wasps. Wasps, especially yellow jackets, kill.

I do understand that there are creatures in the water that can hurt/kill a person. But my fear extends far, far beyond being afraid of those creatures. Even tiny litle minnow-sized fish skeeve me out, and if I'm wading in the sea and happen to look down and see them, I'll do a ridiculous-looking panic dance and run out of the water as fast as possible. Most creatures that I would dive among, in the situations in which I'll be diving, are benign. It's the way that they move - fluttering little fins and darting motions - that strike terror in my heart.

I guess I shouldn't say that my phobia is unreasonable - because I don't think there is any benefit in not fully accepting and owning what we feel. It's more that I believe it to be unfounded, and I know for a fact that it's preventing me from enjoying experiences. On our recent trip to Mexico, it was so hot out, but my fear kept me out of gorgeous, cooling waters that looked like this - only because there were fish in it too.

That water is gorgeous! I'm ready to jump in.

I thought your fear was more about being under water with the fish, but if you wouldn't even walk into 100% clear water because of the fish then you might need professional help to overcome your fear. I have no experience with hypnosis for phobias, but I've heard/read that it helps some people. Might be worth investigating.

No, chispa - I am pretty much a whack-job when it comes to even being near fish! ;-) I've actually a call in to a therapist that I've seen a few years back. If she can't help me, then perhaps she'll be able to point me in the right direction.

one of the best books I've ever read is titled the link name. Check out Susan's website...there's some good info.

Here is a link that might be useful: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Do you eat fish? It would be a pity if you missed out on the fish & chips during your trip to the UK! ;-)

Just teasing you ... the therapist is probably a great first step.

I don't have any advice about overcoming your phobia that hasn't already been given here, but I wanted to chime in that there is no rhyme or reason to phobias, so it's not helpful for others to say "that phobia makes no sense".

I have always had pet fish and I adore them. I have no trouble letting them nibble on my hand as I clean their tank, etc. I can swim in ponds with little fish darting around, and I have swum in the Gulf of Mexico with harmless sand sharks bumping around in clear view.

But I am very unhappy about visiting aquariums where there is just a wall of glass between me and big fish. And (thank you, Diana Gabaldon) I am freaked out swimming in lakes because I am afraid of . . . the Loch Ness monster!

Yes, I know it is ridiculous to be afraid that the Loch Ness monster is in a lake in the US. And even if the Loch Ness monster WAS in the lake, it's probably a harmless vegetarian and wouldn't bother me anyway. After all, I would PAY to swim with manatees, so why be leery of Nessy?Because knowing it is ridiculous intellectually isn't the same thing as not being filled with heart-pounding dread when you're at the lake!

I don't think of it as a fear, but have absolutely no desire to be so deep in water I need an apparatus to help me breathe~snorkeling doesn't interest me either, but I thoroughly enjoy going to an acquariam.

I think it's ok as well as normal to have fears, and it may actually be healthy. I don't know the author, but whoever said "no man is an island" I interpret as, you can't do everything.

There was a time I thought I wanted to conquer my horrific fear of heights, but at almost 70, I could care less. I have no fear of flying, and actually sleep like a baby when up in the clouds! On the flip side, I could never go up in a hot air balloon, but don't have the desire anyway. ;o)

I am following this thread, I do have a certain fear, and I understand the minnow thing. I dislike snakes intensely. When I mention any snake encounter, someone is always certain to point out "it's not venomous", like who cares??

I despise snakes! Even looking at a dead snake in the road before a Hawk grabs it gives me the creeps. lol.

Jen, in shallow water like that, the fish are afraid of YOU, and will swim away.

Underwater you'll have a wet suit on so you won't feel anything.

What about...getting a kiddie pool, and have your dh put about 2 minnows in it, while you just stand in the water?

They're totally harmless and you can stand there and look at them before you get in. And then you can catch one and give it to your kitties! :)

Oak, your kitty pool suggestion made me giggle! ;o)