eek, how awful !! I have a friend who can talk like that for a long time, and it usually veers off to talking about people I don't know and have no interest in,
and their life story. I frankly don't see her anymore; we email a bit and she always sends pics of people I barely know, so I'm sure she hasn't changed.

The older I get, the less patience I have and the more I weed out people who annoy me. I'd rather concentrate on immediate family or friends that I have a genuine good time with.

So this is a lesson learned for you; I guess we can all learn from it, not to get carried away with long tales of woe.

Yes I do as a matter of fact and boy do I feel for you. I've learned literally to tune out and I don't even try to say anything because it is not really meant to be a conversation but a monologue. These types of people literally have no idea they are like that. I sometimes interrupt and leave the area when I absolutely can not take it anymore. I also keep my iPod at the ever ready and keep the plugs in my ear and will slyly turn it on if I have too.

Like Mitch said, lesson learned for you but I'm so sorry your tranquil vacay was ruined.

What a sad end to your vacation - I'm sorry you had to endure that. I NEED my quiet time and that kind of behavior on long awaited relaxation getaway would just about kill me.

I think the only way to have handled it would have been to explain just how important your quiet time is on this trip. Explaining YOUR needs as opposed to complaining about HER talking - not that you would out and out complain but the emphasis is on your specific need not her specific behavior - KWIM? And if she persisted, you could just say 'we'll talk later - I need to clear my head'. But I'm sure there won't be a next time where you'll need to try this, at least not on your getaway!

There was a new girl in our dept a few years ago that had something to say about ANY topic someone else mentionned. She would ramble on and on.... Sad to say, but a few of us would just literally interupt her monologues to steer the conversation back to the group, and other coworkers would just leave the lunch room or area to escape the verbal onslaught. Her verbosity was literally draining to be exposed to day after day, and no one was saddened to see her go when she went to another job. She still does perdiem work for us, and has not lost her way of monopolizing conversations. I can't imagine spending two whole days with someone like her....so much for R&R!

"Still. Anybody know anyone like this? What can you possibly do?"

Unfortunately, yes, I've known my fair share. She is the extreme example of an extrovert and about all you could have done is to pick up a book and start reading (a trick DH does when seated next to one, on an airplane).

If you're an introvert, her babbling must have sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard. The link I've provided, lends some insight into introvert/extrovert interactions.

Maybe her DH had a reason for drinking. Please don't flame me...I've been in recovery for over 20 years and we're allowed to make jokes like that. :)

Here is a link that might be useful: Caring for your introvert

I'm not sure if you were really at Captiva island, but it comes up at google. If the kids or this woman google it, eventually this post will come up.

Looking at it from another point, you allowing her to come was a nice gesture during this hard time. I don't know her but would imagine her rambling about people you don't know was better then listening to her talk about the divorce.

Yes, unfortunately I can think of three or four people I have known over the years who are exactly like that. My sister-in-law can't tell a story without going off on multiple tangents never to complete any of the substories - not that it matters because they are about people and situations and the minutia of her life that you have no interest in hearing about to begin with. It's very sad because all you want to do is get away from people like that. I have always attributed it to depression and anxiety.

When my MIL is especially anxious, she calls and talks like that, even answering her own questions.

Thanks everyone-at least it sounds like many folks have had the same experience!

Deedee, a coworker just retired last month at my office and she sounds just like yours (and my friend). This lady was so deadly other staff would literally warn each other 'Watch out, here comes N' so they could get out of the break room or bathroom before she got started. Like my friend B, N told long, pointless, endless stories about herself, her family, people she knew, etc etc. It really is sad I suppose. After awhile as noted people actively avoided her.

Parma, I'm not a deeply introverted person, but my work involves a tremendous amount of verbal and interpersonal exchanges. That is one reason I love this annual getaway. With only 2 teenagers who are glued to each other, I can quite literally go all week not having to talk (or listen) to anybody if I don't want to. And I really treasure the respite. Once I get back into the saddle at work, I know I'll be full up with interacting. That pause is what refreshes :). B also talked a lot about the divorce and her husband and I told MY husband when I got back that if ever a couple needs to go to marital counseling, it's them. Alcoholism is of course a huge issue but after being around her for this extended time I do feel that B has some serious problems of her own that should be dealt with.

Roselvr, good point but B is barely computer literate and just learned how to navigate email. Her daughters are typical teens, I don't think they would have any interest in googling Captiva. As for the rambling, as I said above she covered the divorce in great detail between the stories.

The one bright spot,and I hope this doesn't sound horrible, is that it sure did make me appreciate how good my life is, especially my relationship with my husband. After 20+ years he's my treasure and listening to the very sad story of a marriage breaking apart made me appreciate him all the more.

Thanks again to all who shared your thoughts.

Ann

Oh, Ann ... I feel for you! What a nice gesture for you to invite this woman along, and then she has to go and pretty much spoil it for you. I'm so sorry! And unfortunately, yep - I know all about bores (or are they boors?), as I was married to one for 15+ years. My ex talked constantly -- he just didn't seem to possess an internal "off button" that would make him realize that enough was enough. I can't tell you how many social situations we were in, where he embarrassed me half to death. Countless times I'd kick him under a restaurant table when we were dining out with others, and I saw that oh-so-familiar glazed look come into their eyes as he continued droning on and on and on about things that were going on in his life. He had his own business, and he talked in depth about his work. Really technical stuff that nobody cared about.

Once when he and I took a vacation with the rest of my family, we were all relaxing in the hot springs in this beautiful mountain resort area, gazing out at the stars and soaking up the ambience, and he would not "STFU." That's when someone (I forget who, exactly) in my family said, "Hey - shut yer stinkin' trap!" -- in a joking (but firm) manner. Well, that saying just kinda stuck, and I often used it with him after that, to let him know when he'd said more than enough.

I guess some people are just wired that way. I really do try to be conscious about being that kind of annoying individual, to the point where at times I think I'm a little obsessive over worrying that I come across that way. Especially in the forums, I notice how many "I" statements I make, and dang ... it's a lot. Of course, when you're face-to-face with someone, that's different and demands a much greater "give and take." That's where I really make an effort not to become "that" person, because I don't know many people who can stand to be around "that" person for any length of time.

Poor Ann. You undoubtedly feel like you need another vacation already. :-/

On the one hand, I've known people who are long-winded and dull. And they're not much fun to be around. I can sympathize with how you're feeling.

On the other hand, it occurs to me that she may have been going on and on about unimportant things in an attempt to avoid thinking or talking about the things that are going on in her life right now. Sometimes people react in different ways to stressors.

...and on third hand... I will confess that I sometimes ramble on and afterwards feel like I talked too much. Usually that happens when the other person isn't talking enough and the silences make me feel awkward. I seem to expand or shrink my own talking to fit, with the result that there are probably some people who think I'm an incessant chatterbox, while there are others who probably think I barely talk at all.

Just saying that there are some alternate ways to look at it. If it were me, I would probably try to cut her some slack given the divorce situation.

auntjen, the kick under the table is something I sometimes have to do to DH,
and he knows what it stands for, too much red wine makes him repetitive, we've agreed about the kick as a warning to wind down and let someone else join in, lol.....

Sometimes I'm not seated close enough to kick him, I try silent signals, such as raising my eyebrows, but it doesn't work.

OMG!! Yes, and like you I wonder what on earth makes them tick. It is a big mystery to me, too. This from
AJ "I guess some people are just wired that way."... and this "....he just didn't seem to possess an internal off button that would make him realize that enough was enough." I'm guessing it's a simple as that with most bores.

From Mitch: ".... I have a friend who can talk like that for a long time, and it usually veers off to talking about people I don't know and have no interest in,..."
Yep, Mitch, I have a lovely friend who is NOT a bore but will, on occasion, tell long stories re. people I don't know. Mind you, not stories of amazing adventures, events, or whatnot. Not as much since I made an effort to stop her (because I love her and do not want to ever dislike being with her).Sooo, while chatting with friends during a luncheon there was an appropriate opening where I remarked on this very thing, using a fictitious cousin as an exaggerated example. She mumbled softly, "that can probably be me, sometimes" She has improved since then, but still keeps it in her repertoire.
Poor Ann! It's utterly enervating...it sucks the air right out of you. After her first long monologue I think I'd have pleaded a headache and retired to my room to read. Just Thank heavens she wasn't invited for the entire stay!

Auntjen, where did you meet my ex? LOL! Five years was all I could handle. Ann, my mother called this 'talking in circles'.

I'd have probably tried to teacher her to meditate (not likely to be successful) or suggested a game of let's play Marcel Marceau. For those of you who are too young to know, he was a well known, French mime.

I just tune people out, as their monologues just become white noise. I think she does sound like she was somewhat frantic to not be left alone with her own thoughts, so it was very kind of you to let her gas on and on.

runninginplace...you did good.

ML (who cherishes her alone time on Captiva)

Unfortunately, yes, I've known my fair share. She is the extreme example of an extrovert and about all you could have done is to pick up a book and start reading (a trick DH does when seated next to one, on an airplane).

I'll bet all that talking is covering up a boatload of pain and insecurity. It looks like a cry for acceptance. I wonder if she was abused and constantly berated and told to shut up as a child.