I hate God!!!!!! (very long)
Some of yall know me from the crafting boards. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I posted here a few months ago, but all the sudden, I feel like I just lost my husband all over again. It was in May. I can't stand it!!! We were supposed to grow old together. We have a 10 year old son we had when I was 43. Who is going to tell him about boy stuff? This a.m. I was up at 4:30 by my dog waking me. I had a major water pipe burst. I live in central Texas, so you know we have been flooded with rain the past 2 days with more to come. I went out in the dark pouring rain to try to figure out how to turn the water off. I finally got it fixed by jury-rigging it. I MISS HIM SOOOOOO MUCH. Why did God have to take him now? Actually, we always thought I'd go first because my health has been failing. Now people say be strong? How do you do that? My little boy won't sleep by himself because he is afraid I'll die. I've caught him a few times standing over me to see if I'm breathing. And yes, I have him in counceling. I'm next. I know this is long, but I feel if I don't let it out I'll go crazy. I don't have but one friend and she works nights. My family is so disfunctional; so was his. So... all I have left is God, and he turned his back on me. Yes, I'm on a pitty pot. So what? I'm so angry I feel like throwing up. BTW, I know the stages of grief, I'm a retired nurse. It dosen't make it any better when you're going through it. Thanks for letting me blow some steam. Taunia.